A/N: the conversation you've all been waiting for. Well, some of it …

Henry was blissfully oblivious to what was happening in Emma and Regina's life. Well, he knew something was worrying the two women but they hadn't told him what. They had simply given their assurances that everything would be alright. He seemed to buy it. After all, he trusted them. The two women put him to bed as usual that night, sharing the bath time and story telling duties before each woman dropped a kiss to his forehead, a routine they had somehow slipped seamlessly into over the past few months. Neither woman had verbalised what it might mean for their relationship or future together.

Regina then disappeared into her office for a while, needing to catch up on some work emails which she had neglected since the start of the trial. She had apologised but Emma didn't mind. It prolonged the inevitable conversation she knew they needed to have. Whilst she waited, the blonde sat in front of the television, trying to work out how to tell Regina about her son. There seemed to be no good way and Emma, for the first time ever, felt her heart sink as Regina appeared in the living room an hour later.

"What did James want to talk to you about earlier?" Regina asked as she sat down.

Emma had expected this. The two women told each other everything. Well, except for Emma's secret. And since Regina didn't know about that yet, she continued to believe their relationship was completely open and honest. Which is was. Mostly.

"Just something Killian said at the trial," Emma replied. "He wanted to give me a heads up."

"Heads up?"

Emma swallowed and reached forward to turn off the television before turning to sit cross-legged on the couch, facing Regina.

"Why did you adopt Henry?"

Regina's perfect eyebrows raised at the seemingly random question but she answered anyway.

"Well, I told you how much Dani wanted a child which meant I wanted one too because I wanted her to be happy. And since we were both women, the usual means of conception were out of the question."

"I know that," Emma said. "But why adoption? Why not use a sperm donor or even a surrogate if neither of you wanted to carry a child. Why adopt?"

Regina thought for a moment. "It was the only option we ever talked about, to be honest. I wasn't going to go through expensive and unnecessary scientific processes to create a child when there are so many unwanted babies out there."

"So you wanted to give an abandoned child a good home?"

"I suppose so," Regina said slowly. "We didn't really think too much about where he came from though. Once he was in our arms, nothing else mattered. He was our son and that was that."

"Do you ever think about his birth family?"

"Not really," Regina replied. "I mean, it was a closed adoption so I have no details on them. There are times when the doctor has asked about his medical history and I wish I knew more. But since Henry is healthy and happy, I see no reason to dwell on the people who gave him up hours after he was born."

"Do you know why they gave him up?" Emma asked.

"Nope," Regina replied. "As I said, it was a closed adoption. I don't know anything about them but I presume they weren't in a position to take care of a child for whatever reason. I suppose they could had died … but somehow I don't think they did."

"How so?"

"Just a feeling," Regina shrugged. "Why all the questions about Henry and adoption? Are you … I mean, do you want to -,"

She trailed off, unsure quite where her sentence was heading but sure it was far too early in their relationship for whichever jumbled end her brain might have selected.

"No," Emma said quickly. "I'm not thinking about adopting a child."

"Oh, good," Regina said, sighing with relief.

"You don't want more kids?" Emma asked.

"Not really," Regina shrugged. "I love Henry but I never imagined being a mother. I'm happy with just the one. Why? Do you?"

"I never thought I'd have kids in my life either," Emma admitted. "I'm not exactly maternal."

"I think you're great with Henry," Regina said. "In fact, you're amazing with him. You know that, right?"

Emma said nothing. Instead, she glanced at her cell which had lit up with a text from Mal asking how the trial had gone. She was about to reply when Regina's fingers covered her own and tugged the phone gently from her grip.

"Emma, what's going on?" she asked, her eyes wide and pleading for the truth. "Why are you asking about Henry and what did James say to you earlier?"

Emma looked into the concerned and confused face before her and knew the time had come. She had to tell Regina. It was now or never. And by never she meant until Regina read the trial notes and found out from Killian Jones. And that was something she couldn't allow to happen. Emma herself was going to tell her girlfriend her biggest secret, her greatest regret. She took a deep breath.

"I had a baby."

There was a heavy silence, the tick-tock from the grandfather clock echoing through the living room as Regina's eyes opened wider in surprise. Whatever the brunette had been expecting, it wasn't that. Emma licked her dry lips before continuing.

"I found out I was pregnant just after I arrived in prison. It was Neal's, although he never knew. I gave birth when I still had four months left of my sentence and I gave my son up for adoption. I … I didn't have a choice. I couldn't look after him and I had no one on the outside I could trust to do so until I got out. I was barely eighteen and scared and alone. I didn't want to do it, Regina. And I regretted it every day ever since. I -,"

"You gave up your baby?" Regina interrupted.

Emma nodded, her eyes sparkling with tears at the look on Regina's face. It was unreadable. She could always tell what Regina was thinking, so why not now? Fear gripped her at what that might mean.

"He was adopted? That's why you were asking about my decision to adopt?"

"I hope he was adopted," Emma said. "To be honest, I don't know. I mean, I was adopted for the first couple of years of my life and then I was sent back to the system and became a foster kid. Who's to say the same thing hasn't happened to my son? Who's to say I haven't condemned him to the same fucked up childhood I had."

"And you thought I'd be, what, mad at you?" Regina asked.

Emma squirmed at the tone in which her girlfriend spoke. It was something like disbelief, but at what, Emma wasn't sure.

"How could you not be?" Emma asked. "Come on, Regina. You're this amazing mother who literally rescued a baby from someone like me. Someone who isn't worthy of their child, who doesn't deserve the unconditional love of their son. How could you possibly not be angry about what I did? I did it and I hate myself every day for that decision. How could you not do the same?"

Regina thought for a moment before replying. She realised she needed to explain a little more about her own reasons for adopting and her subsequent understanding of parenthood before she could begin to make Emma believe what she was saying.

"Dani and I adopted because we wanted to give Henry a good life. We knew we could provide for him and although things didn't work out as we had planned, I believe he is happy and content now. We didn't think much about his birth parents because we didn't care about their reasons for giving him up. It didn't matter why he needed to be adopted, just that we were able to provide him with a happy, loving home. Emma, you weren't able to provide your son with that at the time, right?"

"Right," Emma nodded.

"So you gave him away, why?"

"To give him his best chance, but -,"

"So you did what any mother would do," Regina interrupted. "You did what was best for your child. You thought selflessly about what that baby needed and knew you couldn't provide it. I'm not saying you hadn't made mistakes. Condoms might have been an idea along with not getting arrested with stolen property, but giving up your child wasn't a mistake. Not under the circumstances."

"Really?" Emma asked, tears now flowing down her cheeks.

Regina reached over and cupped the blonde's face, the pads of her thumbs wiping away the salty streaks of sadness.

"Emma, I know you had a shit childhood. And I know the system didn't work well for you. But most of the time they get things right. Most of the time babies get adopted and live happily, just like Henry. Odds are, your son is out there somewhere, in a family who loves him and can provide for him in a way you couldn't at the time. You did nothing wrong, Emma. You did the only thing a mother could do. You were strong enough to overpower your maternal love for your child and do the right thing."

Emma let out a ragged sob. "You don't hate me?"

"Hate you?" Regina frowned. "Honey, of course I don't hate you. I love you and the fact that you gave a child up for adoption hasn't changed that. Did you think it would?"

Emma nodded. "I thought you'd think I was a terrible human being. I thought you'd see me as a monster who gave up a baby. I mean, don't you hate the woman who gave up Henry?"

"No," Regina frowned. "I feel many things towards his birth mother but not hatred."

"What things?"

Regina cocked her head to one side in thought. "I feel grateful, mostly. Grateful she gave me the chance to have Henry in my life. I feel grateful her decision to give Henry up made Dani so blissfully happy for those six short weeks. I suppose I feel a little curious as to why she gave him up in the first place. What were her circumstances? Where is she now? But I also feel sad for her because she'll never know what a fantastic little boy her son had grown up to be."

"You pity her? Do you pity me too then?" Emma asked.

That word had always stung. She wasn't sure why but it had. She had been pitied far too much in her life and she didn't want to feel that from Regina. Not again.

"I don't pity your decision," Regina said, trying to chose the right words. "But I think it's a shame you'll never know your son. I feel sad for you in the way I feel sad for Henry's mother. But I wouldn't call it pity. I just think it's a shame."

"A shame?"

"Yeah."

"That seems like to blasé of a word to describe your feelings towards a woman who abandoned her son," Emma said, her gaze falling to her lap where her hands were knotted together.

Regina tangled her fingers with Emma's and waited until the green eyes met hers again.

"Emma, I think this conversation is less about you wanting to know what I think about this decision you made, what five years ago? And more to do how you feel about giving your son up. If you were looking for me to forgive something you did long before we even met, then of course I forgive you. To be honest, I don't think there's anything to forgive. The question really is; have you forgiven yourself?"

Emma's bottom lip trembled and she bit it hard to try and stop it. Regina's heart broke as she watched the pain contort Emma's beautiful features. She pulled the blonde into her arms and hugged her closely, the slim frame trembling against her. She stroked Emma's long hair and murmured soothing words of love into her ear until the blonde finally quietened, curled up on Regina's lap and wiping her face.

"I hate myself for giving him away," Emma said. "I know it was the right thing to do but I still hate that I wasn't able to keep him. And then sometimes I wish Neal and I had just been a bit more careful. But then that's like wishing he never existed. And that's wrong too so I hate myself even more. I hate that I was in that position in the first place, I guess. I was alone, as usual, and had no options available to me. I didn't want that for my son so yeah, I gave him up. I pray every day that he found the family he deserves but I'll never know and for the rest of my life I'll be wondering. It will haunt me forever, not knowing."

"It was a closed adoption too?" Regina asked.

Emma nodded. "I didn't want him to know what a failure his mother was," she said. "Even if I might have wanted to find him some way down the line, I didn't want him to be able to find me. I didn't want him to know how I fucked up my life and screwed up the first few hours of his."

"Have you tried to find him?" Regina said. "I know you said you'd been trying to track down your birth parents for a while."

"There's nothing to go on," Emma sighed. "I mean, I don't even know where they took him after I gave birth. Whether it was an agency or a government body, nothing. I have a date of birth and that's it. I stopped looking even before I left Tallahassee. And as for my parents, I've stopped searching for them too since I moved in here."

"Why?" Regina asked.

"Because I don't need them any more," Emma shrugged. "I have two people I consider family now. You and Henry. You're all I need. I don't want the people who abandoned me twenty-two years ago."

"Almost twenty-three," Regina pointed out.

Emma blinked. What with everything that had been going on, she had almost forgotten her birthday that coming Sunday. She wondered briefly if Regina had anything planned. She wasn't feeling much like celebrating.

"Right, yeah. Well, however long ago it was, I don't need them. And I doubt my son needs me. In fact, I hope he doesn't need me," Emma finished.

"Do you need him?"

Emma bit her lip again. "I'd like to know he's ok," she said after a pause. "I don't need to be in his life. I just want to know he's safe and happy."

Regina nodded quietly and said nothing. She was thinking but didn't want to verbalise the direction in which her mind was heading. Emma appeared not to notice her distraction.

"That was what James wanted to tell me, by the way."

"That you had a son?" Regina frowned, confused.

"No, that Killian brought it up at trial."

"How did he known?" Regina asked, anger flaring inside of her at the knowledge that her girlfriend's rapist knew something so private and personal about Emma.

"It's in my parole file," Emma shrugged. "To be honest I'd forgotten about that or I would probably have wrestled it out of your hands when I saw you with it."

"I never looked at your medical records," Regina said. It even hadn't occurred to her that they were in there. And if it had, she probably wouldn't have looked, seeing it as an invasion of privacy on some level.

"Well I'm glad," Emma said. "I wanted to be the one to tell you. Which is why James was calling me. He figured you didn't know and thought I might want a chance to talk to you before the court records go public."

"Why didn't you tell me before now?" Regina asked. "I mean, what did you think would happen?"

"I thought the worst, as usual. Because bad things do seem to happen to me, let's be honest. So I guess I thought you'd realise I was some monstrous woman who abandoned her own baby and left him for someone wonderful like you to care for because I couldn't be bothered to get my life straight. I thought you'd hate me for doing to my kid what someone did to Henry. I thought … I guess I thought things would be over between us."

Regina brushed the tear-dampened hair from Emma's cheek and bent to kiss the flushed skin.

"Darling, I'm not going anywhere. No matter what you've done in the past. No matter what happens, with this trial or anything else in our future, I'm in this one hundred percent. I love you, Emma Swan, mistakes, regrets, difficult histories and all."

"I love you too," Emma said, turning in Regina's lap and reaching up to pull the plump lips down to her own mouth.

The kiss was delicate and soft, everything both women needed to convey and receive their love. Neither had been in a relationship quite like it before. It was difficult and complicated, certainly, but it was also the most rewarding, loving, and addictive either had experienced, their chemistry and desire only heightening each day.

Before Emma could deepen the kiss, Regina pulled away. The blonde pouted slightly but melted at the soft smile on her girlfriend's face. Concern, adoration, devotion, and unadulterated love shining down on her.

"We should head to bed," Regina said. "It's been a very, very long day."

As she spoke, Emma felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. The entire week had been one of the most difficult of her life and to cap it off with that conversation had almost worn her out. She nodded and got to her feet, pulling Regina up and leading the way to their bedroom. Once under the light summer covers, their bodies gravitated closer and, despite the warmth of the June night, they snuggled into each other's arms.

"I'm so proud of you, Emma," came Regina's whispered voice into the darkness minutes later.

"And I'm grateful to you," Emma replied. "How did I get so lucky to have an intelligent, understanding, beautiful, and compassionate girlfriend?"

"You didn't get lucky, Emma," Regina murmured. "You were just you."