Hello there, beautiful readers, I hope the wait wasn't as long, here's chapter 5!
Enjoy.
"Oh God. Hurts so fucking good
I just want you to fucking wreck me
I want you to wreck me
I want you to ruin me." Little girls pointing and laughing/Alexisonfire.
"...So, to make it all clear and short, the chemotherapy had damaged your kidneys, causing Acute Renal Insufficiency, but don't worry, you're under the correct treatment now, so it should be reversible, but you definitely will have to spend several days in here and obviously, the chemotherapy treatment must be changed. Do you have any doubts?" Doctor Healy explains and asks Piper and Carol.
"Yes, uhm… the- the new chemotherapy will be safe?" Piper swallows and asks groggily, apprehensively eyeing her mother who appears to be speechless.
"We can't be a hundred percent sure, but we have to try... " he sighs, looking tired "We'll take new blood samples and make sure you're fine before starting the new therapeutic plan, as for your kidneys…" he keeps explaining the whole situation to them, but as much as Piper tries to pay attention, her mind feels foggy and her eyelids might as well weight a thousand pounds because of the medication, so she inevitably gives in to blissful sleep again.
Her subconscious makes her mind dream about "Sophie", except that the girl in her dream, the one that kisses her and holds her tenderly isn't the real Sophie, it's a weird mix between the girl and Alex, her best friend, so, when she's kissing Piper without abandon, the feelings she has are exponentially more intense and she can't figure out why. But she's certain that something's wrong. Because she enjoys this dream more than the real kiss Sophie gave her.
Minutes feel like hours for Alex, who is currently pacing around the front doors of the hospital, waiting to know what happened to her best friend.
She reads Piper's text over and over, feeling increasingly guilty. If she didn't get high and slightly drunk with Nicky, she would've read it on time and possibly spent the rest of the night with the blonde.
Alex feels painfully guilty because had she not run off, she could've taken care of Piper. Her throat narrows dangerously as her eyes sting. "She may die," her mind whispers cruelly, and Alex feels her world shatter completely because there's no possible scenario in which she can survive without her.
"Alex?" Carol tentatively asks from far behind the brunette, who turns around quickly.
"Mrs. Chapman! How's Piper? What happened?" Alex asks frantically while striding to where Carol is standing near a narrow hallway to the right of the information desk.
Carol reluctantly explains the recent events and the things the doctor explained to Alex, encouraging her to go home for a while because her daughter is asleep and she can't have visitors yet.
"Sorry, Alex. Just family for now," she finishes and she apologizes before entering her daughter's room again, leaving Alex standing dumbly outside, feeling even worse. Her mind is spinning uncontrollably towards self destruction.
Piper opens her eyes as the light of day starts to fade into darkness, making the sky different shades of purple and orange filtering through the semi-open blinds of her hospital room. She scans her surroundings to find herself alone.
The blonde sighs and looks around for her cellphone. It's not there so she groans in frustration and presses the little button on the side of her bed to call the nurse and waits there, lying uncomfortably. Her mind wanders to Alex again, suddenly remembering her dream and she blushes involuntarily, wondering if it's just that Sophie reminds her vaguely of her best friend or if she actually wants to kiss Alex.
The mere thought makes her gasp and her heart flutters unexpectedly. She takes a deep breath, trying to calm down and think rationally. This physical reaction is because it was unexpected and because I remembered how Sophie kissed me.
Lies.
Piper tells herself that the reason that she just wants to let Alex know where is she and that she's okay is only because she's her best friend. And, okay, she misses her, but who doesn't miss their best friend?
Her thoughts are interrupted by the young nurse with short, slightly curly hair and bright red lips she knows as Morello. She couldn't be much older than Piper and yet here she is working tirelessly. "Hello, Piper, how are you feeling? Are you still in pain?" she asks sweetly.
Piper shakes her head and sighs before asking nurse Morello if her mother was still somewhere near. "Yes, sweetie, she's just by the nurse station, talking to your doctor, I'll go get her. Do you need anything else?" she finishes, eyeing Piper curiously.
"Uhm, I'd like a drink of water, please?" The blonde says shyly and nurse Morello just winks and nods before turning on her heels and walking out of her room.
A couple of minutes later, her mother re-enters quickly and asks her daughter if she's feeling ill again. Piper denies it and thanks her for being here. Carol scoffs and replies that it's something one would do for their daughter, which leaves Piper speechless because Carol never seemed to care about her or any of her children for that matter. The older woman gives Piper a glass of water and she drinks it with desperation.
She eventually voices her request and her mother purses her lips before taking the blonde's cellphone from her purse and handing it over to her daughter.
The blonde girl immediately checks if she has missed calls or texts from Alex and relief washes over her when she notices that she effectively has.
Alex: Pipes I'm so sorry I wasn't there to take care of you. I feel like shit, I went to the hospital but they wouldn't let me visit. I hope you can forgive me. Please tell me you're doing better now. I love you so much, dumbass.
After reading the text, Piper feels like floating. Her whole condition suddenly forgotten because Alex doesn't hate her and apparently she has forgiven her about whatever made her leave yesterday.
She's smiling like an idiot when Carol announces that she'll stay the night with her. Piper doesn't even care as she's quickly replying to the brunette.
Alex arrived home after her unsuccessful visit to the hospital and was glad that Desi was out working. Being on vacation gives Alex all the time in the world to wallow in self pity and destructive thoughts.
She tries to calm herself with a joint but it makes her paranoid and she ends up throwing up on her sink because she couldn't reach her toilet. Shivering and crying she can't stop thinking about Piper and her feelings towards her. She wants so desperately to confess everything to her but she thinks that it would affect their friendship and fears Piper's reaction.
What if Piper does what she does best? What if Piper denies the situation and acts as if nothing's different? What if she doesn't acknowledge Alex's feelings and pretends that nothing happens? Or if she actually does and ends up hating her for ruining the amazing friendship they have.
Either way, Alex fucked up for falling in love with her straight best friend.
She sends Piper a text, hoping the blonde doesn't hate her for not being there with her the night she needed her most.
The brunette feels desperate by 6PM and decides to go to the hospital. She knows it's futile but she can't find anything else to put her mind at ease.
When she arrives at the hospital, she decides to sit down on one of the benches outside the building, lighting up a cigarette while she thinks how to proceed. Her cellphone vibrates in her pocket and she takes it out immediately.
Piper: There's nothing to forgive you. I really wish you were here. Carol won't stop talking about every single gossip she knows and I'm dizzy just listening to her. I asked and you can visit tomorrow after 9AM. I love you, too, asshole.
Relief and happiness wash through Alex as she reads the text, smiling from ear to ear an idea pops into her head and she types a reply quickly.
"I don't know, mom. I haven't talked with her in a long time… We were friends in middle school! How could I know if she's really pregnant?" Piper asks her mother hastily.
"Well, you could talk to her, you know? Sarah is a nice girl. I liked her better than Alex," Carol states nonchalantly and when she notices the look of rage emanating from her daughter she adds, "...although I must say that she's being a really good friend." She finishes before Piper can bite her head off.
The blonde takes a deep breath and before she can answer her mother, her phone chimes, signaling a text.
Alex: Nonsense. Make sure Carol goes somewhere else for a few minutes and let me know when you're alone.
Piper laughs out loud and wonders if Alex is serious. She figures that Alex will call her as soon as she gets Carol out of earshot and she really wants to hear her voice, so she thinks what to say.
"Hey, mom?" she asks in an exaggeratedly sweet voice.
Carol raises her eyebrows questioningly. "You haven't eaten, why don't you go and have dinner… and maybe bring me an orange juice?" she asks innocently.
Her mother narrows her eyes and stares directly into her daughter's eyes before sighing and telling her that she's right but she'll have to ask the nurse if she can drink orange juice instead of the water she brought earlier. Piper thanks her and as soon as Carol leaves the room, she texts Alex that she can call now, coast is clear.
But four minutes pass and Alex doesn't ring, so, with creased brow, Piper calls her best friend.
After sending Piper the text asking her to let her know when she was alone, Alex makes her way to the inside of the hospital, entering through a door reading Employees only right behind a doctor.
She has been in this hospital several times before with Piper and knows the way to almost everything on the first and second floor, so she rushes up the emergency stairs to her left and goes up to the second floor, to the on-call room, where the nurses keep their belongings and after checking if the room's empty, she grabs the first pair of scrubs she finds and locks herself inside to change, leaving her own clothes folded under one of the beds. Her cellphone rings, still inside her pants pocket but she ignores it.
The scrubs don't fit at all, they're too small for her but she doesn't care. Alex heads out and ties her hair in a ponytail before speed-walking to the stairs again, to the first floor.
She reaches Piper's room breathless and takes a second to catch her breath before opening the door, entering and closing it behind her.
"Wha-" Piper's eyes widen when she lifts her head from her cellphone.
"Hey," Alex breathes, suddenly unable to move from where she's awkwardly standing. Every ounce of determination she had just a second before had vanish the moment her eyes locked with Piper's blue ones.
Piper tries to stand up from her bed on instinct, to reach her friend and this is what makes Alex snap out of her thoughts and finally walk to reach the blonde, she takes four steps to reach the bed and leans down.
The taller girl wraps her arms around the thin frame of her friend, hugging her tightly as if her life depended on it, one hand travels to the back of Piper's head and the other stays firmly on her lower back, holding her as she had never done before.
Piper wants to cry because she didn't realize just how much she wanted Alex to hug her. She hugs her friend back, fisting the back of Alex's shirt, pressing herself further into her and Piper sighs because she has never realized how safe Alex makes her feel.
They don't need words to express what the hug conveys, so they fall into a comfortable silence, arms wrapped tightly around each other for several minutes.
Alex revels in Piper's smell and the way her body seems to fit perfectly under hers, she nuzzles her head closer to her friend's neck and places a tiny kiss on the little skin she can reach. Her heart is beating so fast and so hard that there's no way Piper doesn't feel it on her own chest, but she doesn't care because she was so afraid of losing her.
The younger girl is suddenly petrified because she wants so desperately to kiss Alex. Her heart races and her face feels hot but her eyes are stinging and she starts to cry because she feels like a little girl who fears the doctor and Alex is there protecting her from everything and everyone, so she feels the need to tell her in a breathy, shaky voice:
"Thank you, Al… I really needed you." The brunette barely heard her, but when her brain processes what she said, Alex has to swallow hard her emotions and her mind that wants to reply, "Just not the way I need you, Pipes."
"I needed to see you too, dummy. I was so fucking worried," she murmurs against Piper's neck, making the blonde tickle and a tiny giggle escapes her lips at the surprisingly pleasant sensation.
Piper feels something building in her lower abdomen, a sensation she has never experienced before, it's like a lightning bolt that is born just below her navel and travels all the way down to the apex of her legs, leaving her speechless and nervous.
She has to swallow thickly and takes a deep, shaky breath before blurting out what has been in her mind since the moment she woke up earlier.
"I had a dream where I kissed you." Alex stiffens when she hears that confession, unable to think of what to say to that because there's nothing she'd like more but before anything else can be said, they are forced to let go of the other when the door suddenly opens to reveal a shocked Carol Chapman.
Shoutouts:
Guest (Both can be honest): Thank you for your review! I hope you don't hate me if Alex doesn't immediately confesses her feelings, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Guest (So happy you're back!): Thank you a thousand times, you made me smile and want to continue with this, and yeah, poor babies but there will come a time when everything's better (;
NatAttack16: I'm so happy that you're still interested, I hope this is soon enough for you (: Thank you so much for your kind review.
Guest (Who can relate): *Sigh* I know, I personally can relate too, And it's a pretty shitty and painful experience but let's hope something good comes from all this angst. Thank you (:
LoSTaNdDeLiRiOuS: Glad to see you're still in this boat (: I hope you enjoyed this chapter too. Thank you so much.
Guest (Poor Pipes and Alex): Yeah, I know, it was hard but everything eventually will get better for both of them (; thank you.
Msmohawk: Aw, I'm really sorry, I promise some happy moments soon! :D Thank you for your review.
dillydill11: Piper's doing better for now (; and Alex...
Guest (Still very interested): I'm glad you still are. Hope you liked this one. (: Thanks for your review.
inevitablespoon: Aww! Thank you so, so much, really. You guys inspire me to keep writing. Thank you again for your review.
HurricaneDrella: There will never be enough words to express my gratitude. You're the absolute best.