Chapter 17
"Why don't you both come back with us for the night?" Anna offered, as everyone begun to think about leaving the hospital.
She knew Julienne and Bernadette had to be exhausted.
It was Bernadette who shook her head.
"We'll just be at the Grantham Arms – we managed to book a room before we came up."
It was not at all that she was worried about messing about the owner of the pub but god only knew it was not her alone who had had the only long day and she had a feeling the Carson's were going to be able to relax a bit more if they were not worried about her at every turn.
And she was sure if no one else did then Charles needed the rest. He had been in and out of Elsie's hospital room all day…
He looked as if he was done in.
Seeing that she was not going to be able to persuade her sister to do other than she had already planned, Anna put her arms about her.
"Well if there is anything you need overnight, please just call the house."
"What I need is for you to get a good night's rest – and me too!" she said as she kissed her check.
"Now mum is ok we are all going to be able to do that. Are we going to see you tomorrow?" asked William.
He was the one who seemed most reluctant to let her go.
"Of course - I am in the village now; there is no getting rid of me."
"As if we would ever want to."
"Well –" Thomas said and a look from the two sibling he had been raised with told him this was not the moment for smart arsed comments.
He winked at Bernadette. "See you around."
Slowly, the Carson kids seemed to filter out of the family room and it dawned on Bernadette she had met her siblings.
She did not know why that fact had to dawn on her when she had been there the entire time but it did.
She was going to remember that day for as long as she lived…
It had been the day her life had changed.
But not everything was different.
She felt her shoulders drop as her mother wrapped an arm about her shoulder. She was still there for and with her.
Bernadette had said she was not going to go back into Elsie that day. There had been a few tears shed last time and Bernie did not want to over tire her– better than she let her rest.
And so she had left Charles in there as she had come out to decide with her siblings what they were going to be doing that evening.
Yet, Julienne felt done in so she was sure her dear Bernadette had too.
"Why don't the two of us head off to the Grantham Arms now?"
She so wanted them to have the chance to rest for it was greatly needed. And she wasn't sure she was above having a brandy that night to help her on her way.
"I think that is a wonderful idea – as soon as I have spoken to Elsie's doctor."
If they had been any other mother and daughter than maybe that would have surprised Julienne but they were not.
She was the same – and she was sure it was something to do with their profession. It was a hangover from her being a nurse herself that she wanted nothing so much as she wanted the news from the horse's mouth.
"I will wait here for you darling."
Bernadette gave her a smile.
She had to remember as much as she wanted to make sure one of her mother's was ok she had to look out for the other as well.
And Julienne needed a lay down at the very least.
"I won't be long."
With her bag over her shoulder she started off down the hall determinedly.
Having seen her brother go for the doctor to ask something to do with the mother they shared earlier – it had been such a long day that she could not remember what he had asked, only that it was William who went – she followed the same path.
And seeing that there was only one door at the end of the corridor, she tried to make a safe assumption.
"I believe you are the doctor who is taking care of Elsie Hughes," she asked, only opening the door after she had knocked and been called in.
Having been in the office when the door opened, Patrick Turner could see how it was easy to make that mistake.
"I am afraid not – well, not today anyways. I am her GP. It is Doctor Levvy you will want to talk to," he said as he looked up. That was when he stopped taking. Since he had lost his wife he hadn't much looked at other women – there did not seem to be a lot of point in it when he knew. He very much believed that part of his life was over – but when he felt himself lose his breath he knew he had been looking after all.
The woman who had just come in to the room was very pretty with brown hair and bight eyes. He felt his heart race when he realized she too was looking at him.
What she saw was a man who was nearing middle age but was by no means past his best. She could well imagine that there were dimples on his face when he smiled and his eyes were the warmest brown she had seen in a long time.
And if he had not looked at her in… she wasn't even sure she knew how he had looked at her. Just with a momentarily twinkle in his eye which had set her mind on a different course.
But she had to get it back on track and she told herself to stop being so ridiculous.
Maybe she was so over tired she was imagining things.
Shame washed over her as she recalled the reason she had come here. This had not been her mission.
"So you are the one who referred her?" Bernadette enquired as she recovered herself a little.
"I was."
"Thank you so much. I m a nurse – well, a midwife really. But I think we both know time is of the essence in cases like hers."
"Yes – I am so glad we did manage to get too her in time. We aim to with every patient but Elsie is a special lady."
After everything she had heard of the women who had given birth to her Bernadette knew she had to agree.
"My name is Patrick Turner."
"Bernadette N- " she said with a smile realizing she was going to have to give him a reason for her interest in Elsie's case.
"Bernadette Newgarden…"
"Are you a friend of the family?"
In a village such as Downton it was not often you could get away unnoticed and he had never heard any of them mention a Bernadette.
"Elsie Carson is my birth mother."
Ahhh…. That made sense. Patrick nodded. As the family GP he wondered if he was the only one in Downton who would know Elsie had another child without needing to be told.
He had never mentioned it to her of course but he was her doctor and he had seen her notes.
He knew.
"While I am not Doctor Levvy but I can tell you everything indicts good news."
"They think they got all the cancer out?"
"Everything seems to suggest so – Elsie's stage one so providing her treatment goes as we think it will – we have great cause for optimism and a full recovery."
That was what she needed to hear and he was so glad he could put his hand on his heart and tell it to her truthfully.
He could not imagine what she felt towards her birth family but nothing about her seemed to suggest any resentment.
Only a great deal of relief…
"That's wonderful news – thank you very much."
"You're welcome."
There was a moment of relief and then another moment of something else. Their eye met.
She had not had a boyfriend for years – no one to –
She shook her head. This was the man who had saved her mother's life with a phone call and the final straw was when she saw there was a wedding ring on his finger.
Well, that was that.
"Thank you again – goodnight doctor."
"Goodnight Miss Newgarden."
No doubt she had had one of the hardest days of her life yet nevertheless the room felt a little emptier when she left.
Which made no sense at all when he knew nothing at all of her…
He had to get back to work, then back to Tim… best not dwell on something which he probably imagined he felt.
X x x
Thomas was glad when the day came to an end. He did not remember ever feeling as tired as he did right then.
It was as if it went down to his very bones but he had a feeling that every member of their family was going to be feeling that right then – especially his poor mom.
But still he knew if it was not for the presence of a certain old friend of his being there he would have tried to make the day longer by going for a drink.
But seeing as he was there with him the two of them were going to settle for something caffeinated.
"I want to thank you for coming up here," said Thomas as he and Edward sat together in the kitchen, both nursing the ends of a cup of coffee.
He knew he had not had to and there were plenty of people who would have heard and done nothing.
But he had not been one of them.
"Well the Carson family has always been good to me and your mum is a lovely lady. And I wanted to know you were alright," he said as he sighed.
He did not know what was alright to say in this situation and what was not alright to say and…
And he did not want to put any pressure on.
"More coffee?" offered Thomas.
Ed nodded. He had had an early start when he had got on that train and he knew Edward was a slave to his caffeine addiction.
Once he had a full mug, the visitor seemed to find his tongue a little.
"I did not know if you were going to want me to be here – I had heard about Jimmy."
Even though Edward was there he had not been able to fill the hole entirely, or to ease the pain which his chosen absent had caused. Jimmy had not even called.
"Well even if he was, I do not see why I could not have a boyfriend and a great friend here."
If they were somewhere different then Edward would point out that having no boyfriend there did not make Jimmy a great boyfriend.
But he had not come to trash him.
He had come to be with Thomas.
"Either way I am just so glad I could be here for you."
He had looked on his own when he had walked into the family room.
And now he knew he wasn't.
"I am too – will you stay tonight? We've a sofa going free – or an air bed." Their history went way back and Thomas had a feeling hearing his deep steady breathes while he slept would be more a help than a hindrance that night though there had been plenty when his low key snoring had had the opposite effect.
It was getting to the point where he knew if he was not going to stay then he had to get going to the train station if he wanted to get back home that night.
But he did not. "The air bed sounds good." He said with a wink.
The hard part of the day was over but they were both aware that when you were having a rough time it was the night that could be the hardest and the longest. If Thomas had not wanted Edward to be there with him then he would not have asked him to stay, thought Ed.
And the soft, grateful smile which Thomas gave him confirmed that.
On instinct, Edward reached over the table and held Thomas's hand and just for a while the world was very quiet and peaceful and for now, that was enough.
x x x
Charles got back to the house where he had raised his kids that night feeling tiredness which he never had before.
It had been quite the day.
The children had all the left the hospital before he had and he had an idea that they had done so in somewhat higher spirits than they had arrived that morning.
It was not every day that your mother had good news on an operation and your long lost sister was at last found.
He still could not believe it. Even though he knew Anna had been in touch with her and he had spoken to her – his first born turning up at the hospital was something altogether different. She had some character to her, he would give her that.
Of course she was right in the way that it was not what any of them had had planned but maybe he had learnt at long last life had its own plan at times and that was generally better than any he made.
One way or another it had brought her back to him. And the look on Elsie's face when she had seen her for the first time again... That was something which he was going to treasure and keep alive in his heart for as long as he lived.
This was a day which he knew he was never going to forget for all the rights reasons.
They had a bit of a way to go yet and it was not as if they were out the woods with Elsie but they were so much further on than they had been when they had got up that day.
And what was more was he had hope they were going to be able to face all of it as a family of five which was – was really quite something.
But before all of that he knew he needed a big cup of tea and a deep sleep.
Now he knew Elsie was alright as she could be he was sure he was going to be able to get a bit of sleep, if not as much as he would have with her at his side. Yes… though all the worry he would sleep that night.
Going in to the kitchen he saw that John alone was there.
"Where's Anna?" he enquired softly with no tone of accusation in his voice.
Normally John had a feeling there would be that tone there but all bets were off that night.
"Upstairs – she is dozing."
"And the boys?"
"All upstairs – I think I heard William snoring already on my way down and I know Edward is staying over the night with Thomas.
He had not paid them too much mind though. When the two of them had got back from the hospital it was clear the day had taken its toll on the women who he loved.
She had curled up in his arms for a while and had had a good cry – it had been cathartic for her. Even though it was all turning out for the best it had been a long and emotional few days – weeks - for her and he was so glad she had let go a little
"I want to thank you for being there for Anna today."
He had a feeling he had never been that fair on John.
He had seen his age and his material status but he had not seen a hell of a lot else and now … things were different. The way he had taken care of Anna was really quite marvelous.
John nodded.
"Can I get you a tea?"
As he was the host in this house Charles was sure the right answer was no he would do it – but he let him.
John proved to be a worthy companion for that moment – he could hear him going through he motion of making a brew but be forced no conversation on him. Only gave him a meaningful look when he passed the mug over which said a thousand things which didn't need to be spoken.
"Thank you," Charles responded more for the way he had taken care of – well, their Anna than the hot drink.
John nodded in acceptance and hoped a new chapter had begun.
x x x
"What a day," said Julienne softly as she lay her head down to rest at last.
She did not think anyone would have trouble forgiven her weariness.
When she thought back to the start of the day and Cynthia, who she remembered in her prays that night… somehow she was sure she had a right to be tired.
She looked across to the single bed adjacent to her own and saw Bernadette had removed her glasses and looked very much as she felt.
"How are you my darling?"
"I don't have the words to describe e it – but I am more ok than I was when I got up."
There was no more indecision over what to do and that she would freely admit was rather invigorating.
She would sleep more peacefully than she had the night before.
"Good," Julienne murmured, reached over to switch out the lamp and relaxed blissfully… she would rather she could do so in her own bed – but this one would do for now.
"Goodnight sweetheart – I love you."
"I love you too mum."
Bernadette shut her eyes and was asleep within minutes, yet somehow aware the last face she thought of that night was none of her parents, or his siblings but of the doctor she had seen at the hospital.
Odd, she thought and then sleep claimed her lovingly and for that day she thought no more.
Please review!
Hello lovely people – I knew it would take me a while to get this one out but I didn't mean it to take me a month! Sorry! I hope the next one will not be so delayed - next month is looking clearer! : ) I am popping out now so I will reply to reviews over the weekend but THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS! Big love x