"I saw your ghost tonight

It fucking hurt like hell

I felt you here tonight

But dreams can't all be real."

Ghost on the dance floor - Blink 182.

Piper and Alex are 12 and 13 respectively, blissfully forgetting all about school, as it is the first day of summer vacation. They're both clad in swimsuits, heading to Piper's pool.

Alex, as the reckless child she is, runs all the way to the pool and drops herself on the cold water.

"Boooomb!" She yells while in the air, between the ground and the water, legs tucked safely under her arms. She splashes water everywhere, effectively splattering little amounts of water on Piper.

"Alex!" She fakes disgust, hands into fists, "Cold!"

"If you actually entered the water, that wouldn't be an issue, Pipes." and swims closer to her friend, who is now sitting down on the edge of the pool, sinking slowly her feet and shuddering all over.

All Alex could see was Piper's body reacting to the cold water, how her arms and legs covered in goose pimples. She wanted to kiss her then.

"I'm actually excited about summer homework, you know? Because that's my perfect escape from family dinners and stuff. But, I know, of course, that if I actually put effort in it, I'll finish it in a week, and that's not what I want -"

"What?"

"Nothing, Pipes, just keep talking"

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like that!"

The next thing Piper knew was that Alex was too close to her and that was a big mistake, because she grabbed her hands and forcefully pulled her down to the cold water.

As soon as her head comes out of the water, she breathes deeply through her mouth, trying to get some air on her lungs, before yelling at her friend: "You're dead, Vause!"

That day, was the first time that Alex gave her best friend a letter. It was sweet and she thanked Piper for her friendship and all the regular stuff best friends wrote about. From there on, she insisted on Piper never mentioning it again, because it made her feel vulnerable.

Piper knew back then how sensitive Alex was and how tough she acted, just to never feel bullied again. She never mentioned that letter again, but she always kept it and she did one herself, but never gave it to Alex, because she knew that the brunette would feel uncomfortable.

There would be a day when she would give it to her, even if they weren't friends anymore, Piper thought.

It's frantic hopelessness that feeling she gets. Sheer, terrified agony roaming freely through her whole self. Alex's mind doesn't function properly and she can't seem to concentrate on anything but the matter that brought her here.

She feels her heart insolently beating on her ears. It's really a contradiction, because she feels dead inside. A hole has replaced her midsection and by now, it's eating her whole. Adrenaline is pumping rapidly through her veins and a monster is threatening to eat her alive.

Her heart beating so frantically feels like a betrayal. It's such a traitorous little shit, beating so furiously when Alex feels completely dead. Out of this world. This has got to be a fucking dream. Yeah… a horrible nightmare, because watching her with her eyes closed, so peacefully far away from here, Alex is sure that none of this is happening.

Her eyes are closed and her expression is that of someone on a distant dream. She's lying down and her chest is no longer breathing. Her hospital gown has been replaced by a beautiful sky-blue dress in which she looks fucking stunning.

Piper's hands are holding a folded, worn out piece of paper that Alex recognizes immediately and that makes her eyes cloud with unshed tears. Her heart swells painfully inside her chest at the sight. It hurts beyond words to look at her like this.

She didn't deserve any of this to happen to her and Alex knew, from there on, she would no longer be able to survive. The pain isn't bearable; it's unimaginable. Nothing has ever felt like this. No amount of pain and suffering could compare to what she is feeling as she watches Piper's lifeless body lying peacefully on her casket. The most dreaded moment had finally arrived.

-Flashback-

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, Pipes…" Alex sobs loudly, no longer caring about what Carol would say or think. She grabs Piper's hand on her own and kisses it slowly, carefully.

"I know" comes the muffled response from her, too weak to move to bring Alex closer.

Carol is watching the interaction closely, sobbing quietly as she sees life abandon her daughter. She regrets the moment she made Alex go away from her life because it was then when Piper gave up. She didn't like the fact that her daughter was in love with another woman, but she was dying, so she put that aside, just to let Piper be happy whatever time she had left.

The way Alex was suffering was a really good indicator of the love she had for her daughter and it broke her heart that she got in the way of true love, as hard as it was to find. She herself knew how that felt. It was long ago, but she knew what love felt like and she deprived her daughter of it when she most needed it.

"I love you, Pipes. So fucking much." Alex whispered and stood up from the chair beside Piper's hospital bed to wrap her arms around the blonde.

"I love you, too, asshole." she barely exhaled. "I was just waiting for you -"

The monitor attached to her body stopped making the little beeps that indicated Piper's beating heart to make room for a shrill,sharp continuous beep.

Alex's own heart felt the exact moment Piper's heart stopped beating, for hers stopped too. At least for a couple seconds before resuming frantically.

"NO! Piper!" she put her hands on Piper's face and began stroking it tenderly. "PIPER! NO! YOU CAN'T-"

It feels completely surreal, to be here, burying her lover. It was a totally different kind of pain of that one she felt when she had to witness the same ritual for her own mother.

That experience was etched in her mind forever. With time, it stopped being unbearable and became a strong pain that was beyond herself. She couldn't do anything to stop it, but it was nothing now, compared to the moment it happened. It's not like she had forgotten her mother, but it was now a painful memory.

But now, looking how those men pulled Piper down to the hole in the ground, made Alex realize that this time, she wasn't going to make it. She didn't want to live in a world where Piper didn't exist.

The Chapman family were beside her, all of them were crying, especially Cal and Carol and it broke her. She couldn't contain the strangled sob that came out of her mouth, followed by sobs that racked her body. She was having a hard time breathing; the air didn't seem to enter her lungs and her vision became blurry.

Suddenly, everything she could see was the beautiful blue sky and Piper's cerulean eyes behind her eyelids as she closed them, tired of trying to breathe.

Diane was by her side, holding her hand and caressing her forehead.

Alex gasped, opening her eyes