Warning from the Author: This chapter is one of the reasons for this story's M rating. The character introduced herein is intentionally vulgar, for reasons that will be explained in due time.
~Chapter Four: Who Raids the Raiders~
Despite the fact that the road from Megaton to GNR would take more than a day, the Lone Wanderer insisted on making some side trips along the way.
"Why are we stopping here?" I asked; a hint of disappointment in my voice.
"Moira asked me to," Kim replied. "She wants me to scout for places that are good for scavenging food and water."
I smirked as she threw the doors open. "You know this place is a Raider stronghold, right?" I asked. She immediately slammed the doors shut. "No," she admitted meekly. I knew that was going to be funny.
"Fine," I sighed. "We can go in, but we take it slow. Make sure you find some cover before we get discovered."
Kim was a bit more reluctant to enter, so I forged ahead. I found cover behind a cashier's counter, and after checking the cash register (which was empty), I pulled my .44 and used the scope to look around. There were a couple of raiders on the shelves. Lookouts, I assumed.
"Okay, I'm hidden," Kim told me in a quiet tone, but one loud enough to attract attention, regardless.
"What was that!" one of the scouts shouted, which forced me to facepalm at the antics of the Lone Wanderer.
"Aw, fuck," I heard a Raider in the bathroom curse. I pocketed the magnum and listened hard. Judging from the sound of footfall on the other side of the shelves, the Raiders had guessed that they were not alone and were planning to divide and conquer. Judging by the shuffling in the bathroom, one of them had a large weapon. But since I've never seen a Raider with patience enough to use a big gun before, I should have guessed that the Toilet Raider was somebody else.
"I ALWAYS GOT SOMETHING FOR THE BITCHES!" the Toilet Raider shouted as 5mm streams rained out the bathroom horizontally at the gathering raiders at the far end of the room. Pattering of bullet versus leather, ripping and tearing of flesh and bone, and assorted screams told the tale of the SDM Raiders' last stand. For every death, the Toilet Raider took a step forward, eventually revealing his shoulder-length blonde hair and his pitch-black Combat Armor, as well as the Minigun he was using at the moment. The white, chalky Talon Company logo on the breastplate was a dead giveaway to his identity, or so I had thought at first. Good thing I was wrong.
"Come on, bitch! Come on, BITCH!" the WC merc taunted as Raider after Raider fell to his display of pissing away ammo. From the sound, I guessed that his minigun hit wall as often as it hit Raider.
Before long, though, he dropped his minigun and put it away, positively beaming at his vainglorious victory. He noticed me at pretty much the same time as my .44 came back out.
"Are you Talon Company?" I asked loudly, making the magnum in my hands visible enough to give him pause.
"Fuck, no," he retorted articulately. "You?"
"You're the one wearing their armor," I pointed out.
"Tch. Protects better than the shit you got on!" he jeered. As I've never worn Talon armor, I had no idea if he was right or not.
"You'd be surprised," I said, putting the magnum away, but only half sheathing it, in case dropping my guard was a mistake. "What brings you out here?"
"Stabbing bitches, mostly," he chuckled. "Easy to live in the wastes when there's plenty of faggots to kill and shit to snatch. So, what? Decided to bring your girlfriend to a raiding party, huh? How cyoot."
"Why does everybody assume that?" Kim huffed. While it was refreshing to know that she was wondering that as well, my mind was elsewhere.
"So, what?" I asked, mimicking his tone. "You make a living by ending the lives of others?"
"Fuck, no," he spat. "I just raid the Raiders. Somebody's gotta put their dicks in the dirt."
"Amen to that," Kim scoffed understandably.
"How long were you hiding in the bathroom?" I asked. Didn't mean to make fun of him for that, I was just curious.
"Long enough to pick the place clean before you ran in here with your cock in the air screaming 'Here I am, come bust my nuts with a sawed-off'," he ambled.
"I'm not the one who shouted 'Okay, I'm hidden'," I smirked; my back turned to the Lone Wanderer.
"I wasn't shouting," she grumbled in response.
"Yo, you gonna introduce me or what?" he smirked finally, proving that none of us were much for manners.
"Kim," she blurted.
"Matthew," I added, extending my hand.
"Cool," he said while grabbing my hand and shaking it. "Name's Jaden. So what does bring the two of you out this far?"
"We were on our way to GNR," I explained. "Kim's looking for somebody important to her and thinks the jockey up that way has crossed paths with him. We stopped because she picked up a side errand on the way."
"A junk merchant in Megaton wanted me to scav this place for food and meds," Kim added.
"What, Moira?" Jaden scoffed. "Don't tell me you bought into that Survival Guide bullshit."
"That's the one," Kim sighed.
"I remember that bitch telling me to pick up a bunch of rads for her little 'experiment," he retorted.
"What did you tell her?" I asked, if only to keep the conversation going. Don't ask me why.
His answer was obvious, judging by his vocabulary thus far. "To fuck off."
"Anyway," he continued, "the pharmacy's back that way. I already emptied out the fridges, but I broke the lock on the door over there, and I'm shit for terminals, so the pharmacy's yours if ya want."
"Thanks," she smiled before damn near skipping off to the far end of the room.
"The terminal won't help if the lock is jammed," I sighed. "I'd better help her out."
"Cool," Jaden mumbled to himself as I walked away. "More for me."
I could hear Jaden ripping the armor off of the corpses he made as I headed to the back room. By the time I got there, Kim was hard at work hacking the terminal. She didn't notice me until the first bit of busted Bobby Pin hit the floor.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Making sure the door will open when the computer tells it to," I told her. "He really tore this door to shit trying to get in here."
"Points for effort," she jeered. I chuckled a bit in agreement as I went to work. Together, it didn't take us long to get the door open.
"We're back," echoed across the building. "Somebody open up the FUCKING-"
I almost laughed at the interruption of the intercom as distant screaming mingled with the melody of weapons discharge.
"And who's the bitch, now!" Jaden jeered over the bullets and the death knells. I almost started running over to help out, but the shit storm ended almost as soon as it began.
"Jaden?" I shouted, making sure the right team won.
"What?" he yelled.
"You alright?" I asked loudly.
"Fuck did you expect?" he laughed.
"A little heads-up, maybe?" I shrugged.
"Tell that to them," he retorted. "Oh… wait."
I shook my head and chuckled. For all of his grace with the English language, he wasn't a bad guy. At least he had a sense of humor.
Kimberly returned from the pharmacy before I realized she was even in there. "Got what we need," she said with a smile. "Found some of this weird blue stuff while I was in there. It's in a Nuka-Cola bottle, but…"
"Quantum," I explained. "It's a promotional product that they never perfected. Don't drink any unless you want your toilet to glow in the dark when you're done with it."
"…too late," she admitted meekly.
"What am I going to do with you?" I joked solemnly.
"It tasted really good…" was her response. I shook my head and smirked.
"C'mon," I said finally. "Daddy's waiting."
After taking the Quantum away from Kim before I became another Ronald Lauren, we made our way out, taking notice of the piles of naked corpses as we walked. By the time we got to the entrance, Jaden was stripping the last of the bodies.
"Yo," he called out. "You still headed to GNR?"
"That's the plan," I nodded.
"Takin' on the muties, huh?" he wondered.
"Wouldn't doubt it," I shrugged.
"Mind if I tag along?" he asked. "I could use a challenge."
"Sheesh, you don't mess around!" Kim blurted.
"Damn straight," he retorted proudly. "So how about it?"
"It's up to her," I said as I opened the door.
Bryan Wilks was waiting for us outside. I had no idea who he was at first, and he seemed to have chased away the scavenger that was sitting out here when we arrived. "Please, mister, you gotta help me!"
This can't be good, I scowled mentally. Kim and Jaden stepped outside before I could respond, thankfully. "Talk to the boss," I said, pointing to the pair.
"Wassap, kid?" Jaden asked, stepping ahead of Kim.
"Not you, herp-a-derp," I shot out, not bothering to look at him. "Her."
"Tell that to the raiders whose nuts are decorating the tile," Jaden retorted.
"Me?" Kim asked.
"This is your quest," I answered.
Kim sputtered a bit, apparently not expecting the mantle of leadership. "Uh… w-what's wrong?"
"Those things!" Bryan shouted. "They're burning up my town! You gotta help me!"
"Here we go, again," I sighed.