16. Nothing Left to Hide

(Sonya POV)

'This way, quickly,' was all Guardian Tanner said to me as he took me by the elbow, steering me deftly through the crowd of mourners until we were free of the throng. I felt numb, like I was in shock, and didn't resist as Mikhail directed me towards the lake at the far end of the grounds and led me to a private seat at the heart of the memorial gardens.

'Where is Madam Kirova?' I asked weakly when I was seated on the bench, feelings of confusion and anxiety coursing through me like a drug.

Mikhail ignored my question, taking several paces in each direction to survey the area carefully before coming to sit beside me, apparently satisfied we hadn't been followed.

'Are you alright Sonya? Can you tell me what happened?' His words were a request, but the tone of his voice made it feel more like a command. 'You looked so frightened I had to intervene. Did the prince threaten you?' He picked up my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

'I'm fine now,' I said, removing my hand from his in a show of independence, but I wasn't fine and we both knew it.

I knotted my fingers together in a tight ball, secretly panicking as I tried to come to terms with the situation. I needed to leave The Academy, maybe the state. I needed to get as far from Victor Dashkov as I could – somewhere so far away that he would never be able to find me.

'Sonya,' Mikhail's voice broke through my frantic thoughts and my eyes snapped back to meet his. He looked at me intensely, as if he was trying to understand what I was thinking. 'I'm a guardian, Sonya. It's my job to protect you. Please tell me what's going on. You need to trust me.'

'You're not my personal guard,' I replied, looking away to hide the fear that lurked in my eyes. 'You don't have to care about me.'

'But I do care about you, Sonechka,' he declared softly, reaching out with one finger and turning my head so I couldn't avoid him any longer. 'I care about you more than you could know.'

My eyes widened in surprise to hear him call me by my pet-name and my breaths became shallower as the true meaning of his words finally began to sink in. Even if I'd doubted what he was saying, the proof was written across his aura. This man didn't just care about me the way a guardian felt responsible for his charge – it was far more personal than that, more intimate. As I took in Mikhail's worried expression I realised the true depth of his affection, and my heart raced as a surge of vulnerability and desire coursed through me. I wanted to sink into those piercing blue eyes and give myself over to him - but I couldn't do this right now. This was the worst possible timing. I was ready to bolt and I couldn't let him ruin his career by getting involved with me.

'You can't,' I said simply, my heart sinking. 'I'd only cause you trouble. I'm leaving anyway, as soon as I can get out of here.' My fingers flew unconsciously to my face and I began to scratch nervously at my temples.

He grabbed both of my wrists gently but firmly and brought them to his chest.

'Stop it! I'm not letting you slip away from me,' he exclaimed. 'What does Prince Dashkov hold over you? What have done that's so bad you have to run away?'

I pulled my arms away roughly and stood up to face him. 'You don't understand!' I cried, waving my hands erratically, my thin thread of control suddenly snapping. 'It's not something I have done. It's what I can do. It's who I am.'

'What can you do?' he pleaded urgently. 'Whatever it is, it's okay with me. I'm here for you no matter what. Just help me understand.'

Fine, I thought. Let's see what you think when you know the truth.

I looked around and my eyes came to rest on a row of cherry blossom trees that led through the garden. It was already mid-March, but last winter had been a cold one and the tiny buds were still tightly closed. I walked up and placed my hand on the trunk of closest tree, closing my eyes and breathing gently. A moment later the buds swelled and lengthened, bursting into sprays of delicate white blossoms that set the branches waving gently under their weight.

'Good God!' I heard Mikhail whisper a prayer of wonder, and I turned to see him looking blankly at the tree, overwhelmed by what he had seen. The man slowly thawed into life. 'But this is amazing, Sonya,' he advanced towards me. 'You have such a beautiful gift.'

'It's not beautiful – it's unnatural. I'm a freak.' I was already trembling from the exertion of using my magic, huddling into myself as I waited for the burnout to take its full force.

'You're an angel,' he breathed, reaching out a hand to stroke my cheek, his jacket sleeve pulling up slightly to reveal the edge of a bandage on his wrist.

'You don't understand. There's more,' I cried, swatting his hand away before he could touch me.

There was only one way he was going to comprehend how bad the situation really was. I would have to show him. If he couldn't handle it I was leaving anyway. I could find a new place to live where nobody knew me, where nobody knew about my powers. I summoned all of the courage I had left within me and looked up at him, struggling to hold back tears as he gazed back at me with love and hurt in his eyes.

'Take off your jacket and sit down,' I commanded grimly. He frowned but followed my request when he saw the insistence on my face. I noticed him wince slightly as he shrugged his left arm out of the sleeve but he didn't make a sound. As he turned to drape his jacket over the back of the bench-seat I noticed how his white shirt clung to the tight muscles on his back and my pulse accelerated.

Control yourself, I thought frantically. He won't want you after this. Just get it over and done with and you can leave this place behind you.

When Mikhail was settled I walked over to the bench and sat close beside him. Reaching down, I took his left hand and cradled it in my lap, carefully undoing the button on the cuff of his sleeve and pushing the fabric further up his arm.

'What happened here?' I asked a little more gently, brushing my fingers over the dressing that covered his wrist.

'Nothing. It's fine,' he replied automatically.

'So you have secrets too,' I said sadly, and I felt the sting of tears prickling at the back of my eyes once more.

'It's just a sprain,' he began, but he stopped talking when I started to remove the bandage, unwrapping it one layer at a time until his bare skin rested in my hands. Without thinking, I let my fingers trace up his palm, wrapping around the back of his hand as I lightly stroked his swollen wrist with my thumb.

'It looks sore,' I said, glancing up at him, and immediately wished I hadn't. His eyes were dark with emotion and his chest rose and fell unsteadily. As my eyes lingered on his face he parted his lips to speak but then closed them again, waiting to see what I would do next.

I quickly returned my attention to his injured wrist. Closing both of my hands over the sprain, I shut my eyes and focused on the point of connection; the sensation of my palms on his wrist, the fine hairs on his arm, the twitch of his muscles, the throb of his pulse and the hardness of the bones underneath. I exhaled slowly, visualising our molecules merging, our bodies melting into one, until I felt the warmth of my skin run into his. He gasped and pulled his hand away.

There was a long silence as Mikhail stared down at his arm. He began making slow circles with his wrist, massaging it with his fingers and testing its strength. It was clear that the swelling had disappeared and there was no pain.

I watched Mikhail's expression alternate between confusion and disbelief as he tried to wrap his head around what just happened, but eventually I couldn't bear the silence any more. 'See?' I whispered. 'I'm not normal.'

He looked up at me like he'd forgotten I was there then swiftly gripped my shoulders. 'You are amazing,' he breathed. 'It's a miracle. Imagine what you could do with this power. How many people you could help.'

'No, Mikhail. It's a curse,' I nearly shouted, struggling to stay in control as the magic use began to take its full effect on me. 'Every time I give away some light, a bit of darkness seeps into me. The more I use it, the darker I become. If anybody finds out about my power they will want me to use it over and over again, and I'm not strong enough to do that.'

Suddenly I had an urgent need to confide in this man – to test him and see if he could handle the real me. I grabbed his shirt tightly in my fists, my voice cracking in desperation.

'You have to understand, Misha. I used to be happy – I used to be normal. I didn't know what this magic would do to me. It's already planted a darkness in my soul, and one day that darkness will eat me up until there's nothing left.'

Tears began to roll down my face as I looked into his eyes, frantically searching for any sign that he understood what I was saying. The next thing I knew was the feeling of his arms wrapping around me and he drew me close, pressing me to his chest and holding me tightly until my gasping breaths began to level out into shaky sniffles.

'My Sonechka,' he whispered into my hair. 'I won't let that happen to you. I won't let anything or anyone harm you. We'll figure this out together. I'll share the darkness with you. I'll keep you safe.'

Something about the sincerity of his words triggered a physical reaction in my body, and I felt a growing sense of calm settle upon me. It was like when my healing power went into his wrist, but this time it was his soothing power cleansing my spirit. I raised my head from his chest and looked up at him in quiet wonder as I felt the last tendrils of darkness fade away. Mikhail was right there in front of me, his eyes filled with assurance, acceptance and love.

'I believe you,' I whispered, and that's when he kissed me.

The moment his lips sank into mine, any last reservations fell away and I gave into him, knowing there was nothing left to hide. He'd seen who I really was and he still wanted me. He knew what I was capable of and he still wanted me in his life. Most importantly, I realised that I trusted him and I wanted him as well – more than anything I'd wanted in my life. I let one hand slide up to caress his cheek and pressed my body closer, losing myself in his kiss.

Author's Note:

I'll admit – this is my favourite chapter so far. We get to see Sonya being powerful, vulnerable, magical and sensual (she's good at multi-tasking) :-)

Mikhail finally makes Sonya understand the depth of his feelings for her - swoon. Misha & his Sonechka have started their relationship slow, all of their little smiles and touches finally leading to a real kiss…and I'm happy to tell you, the best things are yet to come! Bring on the steamy scenes!