Disclaimer: Anything familiar to you, I do not own. This is entirely a work of fan fiction for personal amusement and fulfillment. I make nothing from this and own none of it.
Chapter Thirteen: Hermes Rustling Cattle
She felt silly at how big the smile on her face got when Chloe came walking through the cafeteria door. Up in the line for the breakfast buffet, Max took no notice. She is ravenous in the mornings, Rachel thought and then not much care was given for Max or anyone else in the cafeteria. Her fairy queen was more than aware that Rachel's eyes were on her and only her. There was something different and familiar about the way Chloe walked. In one way, the last couple of days Chloe had been quite like herself when the first started hanging out but there were differences, still. She walked more confidently than Rachel had ever seen from her and it was both adorable and flattering, considering what seemed to have set this off.
The memory of their stolen early morning, only a couple days ago might still make Chloe flush when she was reminded of it, a fact Rachel had taken advantage of once or twice. Still, some sort of realization had clearly been at work. Within a couple of hours Chloe was talking about 'making plans and acting on them' as she felt they had been given a fair amount of shit lately and not taken revenge. Rachel had to say that she agreed. And that's why I've been thinking. For just a moment, Steph waylaid Chloe by calling her over to their table. That's fine, Steph. Get a load of my girl. Rachel made a face at Chloe when she glanced back at her and her conversation with Steph and Mikey wrapped up quickly.
Even she was momentarily taken aback when, so publicly, Chloe approached, leaned across the table and pressed her lips to Rachel's cheek. She's feeling confident. Rachel shifted in her seat, face warming slightly. With a twinge of regret she watched Chloe notice it. In response, Chloe got up and moved around to sit beside her, taking her hand, watching her close. Alright, alright, Rachel wanted to tell her. Instead, she tried to fix an impassive face on the girl. There was no backing Chloe down at the moment, apparently.
"I've seen you embarrassed before but never quite this quickly. I could get used to that," Chloe teased. For just a second she was tempted to do something to return the favor to Chloe but they were in an awfully public place. Instead, it was time to change the subject.
"We have problems," Rachel told her. Chloe chuckled.
"You're telling me."
"No, I mean, we have problems and you were right, it's time to do something about them." That changed Chloe's face. She sat up straighter in her seat, turning to face Rachel, but Rachel had to note, she didn't let go of her hand. I'm fine with that, Rachel thought, shifting it so as to interlace their fingers. "It's time to face them and for that we're going to need someone who is both smart and creative. Kind of like you." Chloe pretended for a moment to preen slightly. "Stop me if I'm wrong, but there's only one Chloe, right?" The taller girl ran her free hand through her hair.
"Save that kind of talk for your dirty dreams, young lady," Chloe told her. Rachel shoved her lightly in response.
"Anyway," Rachel told her as the third person joined the table. Max sat down, tray loaded with toast and eggs. Oh that sounds good, Rachel thought, stomach roaring. "Since there's only one Chloe Price, we need the only other person I know who's as good on her feet. So, I recruited Max."
"She recruited Max," Max confirmed briefly, before tearing open the miniature carton of orange juice as if she hadn't had anything to drink in days. Rachel chuckled. Chloe, on the other hand, quietly asked a question.
"Um," Chloe started. "Does that mean you told her about-"
"About my friend being some sort of hella wicked dream mage?" Max asked, after she swallowed. "Nope, haven't heard a thing about it." The photographer pulled a face.
"Someone's in a mood this morning," Chloe said. Then somewhat quieter, she continued, "Does that… you know, weird you out that your friend's some kind of freak?" The question was asked with some levity but Rachel knew better. Rachel knew that under all the rest of Chloe's new confidence, there was some concern about what this experience (and theoretically, others) meant about her. Rachel expected Max to take on a serious and reassuring tone, the kind she always responded to Chloe's insecurities with. Instead, Max literally spittook.
Once she recovered from the moment, Max didn't pull herself together. Instead, she bent over her tray and started to laugh. It was a little infectious, enough that Rachel half smiled though she was concerned by Chloe's lack of response to the laughter. It took a moment for Max to calm down. This long, deep belly laugh was confusing but at least everyone was happy, right? Rachel shook her head until the laughter died down. Chloe shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
"No, no, listen," Max started, apparently sensing her discomfort. "You don't know what "freak" is yet," she said. "But yeah, I'm in. I'm doing a little research. Also, don't go thinking this changes fuckall between us, Chloe." Rachel nodded. "Now, the research. I'm not done yet, sorry," Max told them. "I sort of passed out early last night? Long day." The room was beginning to fill a little. Rachel's growling stomach was pulling her toward the line, but she needed to make her point to Chloe first, especially as Chloe seemed to visibly relax.
"We used to do things about problems," Rachel said. "Murderous father? We turn him in." Chloe gave her a quick searching look, as if she wasn't sure that Rachel was entirely alright. I'm not entirely alright, though, she told herself, waving her arm slightly so that the sleeve on her left arm slid farther down against the early morning cool. "It's time to get back to that."
"I'm down," Chloe said, though it sounded like some of her will had dimmed, like she wasn't sure about Max knowing about the dreams. It made Rachel regret the unilateral decision to fill the photographer in slightly. We need a reset on the conversation, to get it going right. Also, she added, eyes shooting toward the shrinking buffet line. I'm hungry. Rachel stood up, not letting go of Chloe's hand as she tugged toward the line.
"Food first, revenge plans later," Rachel told them. Max raised the half empty carton as if in toast. Chloe laughed, the sound very natural. "Lots of food, then lots of revenge."
"Alright, alright," Chloe said. "Breakfast. Before you-" she grew quiet, face going blank.
"Before what?"
"Just nevermind," Chloe replied. "Let's go." This time she took the lead and Rachel was forced to shoot the back of her head a confused look. Some people, she thought, make no sense in the mornings. Then all thought of serious matters died away, well, matters more serious than the most important meal of the day. She was forced to release Chloe's hand when they each grabbed a tray. As they waited and retrieved breakfast (her, eggs and bacon and Chloe, biscuits drenched in gravy that Rachel personally found lacking) they were forced to talk about these less serious matters.
"So does the new Chloe still like playing tabletop and acting in the play?"
"You know it, honey," Chloe shot back, quickly, ladling a tiny bit more gravy on top. You can do that all you want, but it's still gonna suck. "Not only am I gonna be the best damn fairy queen in Arcadia Bay history-" Rachel cut across her.
"Uh, hello," Rachel said, pointing to herself. "Literally Titania." Chloe didn't stop.
"I'm also going to play the skull-shatteringist Barbarian the western kingdoms will ever know." Rachel rolled her eyes. If she admitted too openly or too often that the boisterous Chloe had something of an effect on her, she would never win an argument again.
"Yeah, yeah, scourge of the north. Let's go." Max was taking turns going at her eggs or looking through recent photos when they returned to the table. Rachel was disturbed to find that Chloe looked eager to tear into the subpar breakfast in front of her. Then again, the bacon on my tray's soft and the scrambled eggs were probably made in really, really large batches. She let the table eat in peace for a minute or so.
"Alright," Rachel said after finishing a piece of bacon and a couple of forks worth in eggs. "Now, onto business. Let's think about the problems we've been ignoring.." She held up her left pointer finger. "One, David is a douchebag." Rachel looked across the cafeteria to the rather wide man leaning against the wall beside the only exit out into the rest of the school. He matched eyes with her and did not react. "Chloe can't sneak into the dorms every time he acts like a huge troll. We need to handle that."
"Oh, don't worry about that one," Chloe said and the edged tone of her voice made Rachel look away from the security head and back to her girlfriend. Yeah, face it, the word is 'girlfriend.' "I'm not going to be running from his ass so often anymore." Rachel saw Max looking up, concerned and trying to hide it. "Also, the other night I found a fairly secluded spot to park. I imagine I could get away with it on rare occasions. If I pull far enough off the drive."
"There are plenty of places like that around here," Max muttered, then relaxed.
"I don't like it, but it'll do in a pinch," Rachel replied. "We need to keep thinking on that."
"Well, in a real emergency I could probably afford to get Chloe a motel room for a couple of nights," Max said, and then she speared some egg on the end of her fork.
"How?" Chloe asked.
"I've got some money of my own saved up."
"How?" Chloe asked, again. Max stabbed more and then more egg and, looking Chloe dead in the eye, stuffed it into her mouth as much as to say she wasn't going to answer. Rachel laughed and took control of the conversation again.
"For problem two, Max you're sitting it out." For a moment, the girl tried to talk through far too many eggs. This resulted in a failure of getting any point across, but it did seem to make Chloe forget about her curiosity, as she smiled at Max's struggles. Rachel waited as the brunette reached for a drink and tried to choke it down.
"Why's that?" Max finally asked, sounding mildly affronted.
"Because you're still trying to get chummy with Nathan Prescott and I'm not about to be as big a dick as to ask you to help me fuck with him."
"Look," Max said, her voice lowering. "I think he's lonely. I tried to talk to him for a while. Now I'm just trying to stay neutral." Rachel opened her mouth to say she understood but Max held up a fork-grasping hand. This didn't matter to Chloe.
"And I say he's fuckin' nuts," Chloe told her.
"If he fucked with my friends, though" Max continued, talking slightly louder and looking pointedly at Chloe. "He needs to pay." Without breaking her matched gaze with Chloe, she added, "Eliot too." Rachel grinned.
"Damn right," Rachel told her, feeling both relieved and impressed as she sat back for a moment, crossing her arms across herself.
"But I'll sit it out anyway," Max added, "because I've got shit to do later."
"Like what?" Chloe asked.
"After classes, I'm going into town to meet up with Frank," Max admitted. Rachel had not thought of the man since May. She knew Chloe had seen him at least once since everything went down, but Rachel had never particularly gone to him before.
"Why's that?"
"Why do you think?" Rachel and Max asked her in unison. They matched each others' rolling eyes.
"Right, so before this becomes the 'Chloe's being silly' routine, go on." Rachel was surprised at the slight irritation in Chloe's voice. It was something she needed to investigate but for the moment she just decided to be a little less teasing.
"So, first off," Rachel said, calling the conversation back. She shot her eyes across the room to the table where Eliot, Victoria and a girl she didn't know were sitting, mostly ignoring each other. "Eliot." Chloe returned to paying close attention. "It's time he knows how much it sucks when someone ruins something you care about." Chloe grinned.
"That's my girl," she said. For just a moment, that was enough to make Rachel shiver. Damn you. Chloe's new attitude toward her could definitely get to her, in the most amazing ways. "And Nathan," Chloe continued. "People have seen him writing that shit about you everywhere. Now not only is he talking shit about Rachel Amber, but he's stomping on my territory. I don't go to high society douche parties and douche all over people." At this point, Max muttered something about how much she 'hoped not."
"Then what's the plan for Nathan?" Max asked them.
"Simple," Rachel beamed. "We do exactly what he's always accusing everyone of trying to do." She gave them a minute to come to it themselves or ask and no one else spoke. "We're going to embarrass him in a very public way." Chloe whistled lowly, raising a hand. Rachel accepted the high five.
"Wait," Chloe interjected, suddenly looking concerned. "This won't fuck with the play will it?"
"No, my little thespian," Rachel teased. "It won't."
They were done planning long before the warning bell rang. It was a miniature signal of sorts. Max put away her camera and a photo of Chloe and Rachel plotting. When Rachel asked about it, Max said she was going to call it, Sweet Revenge. Rachel found it fitting enough. For the first time Rachel was slightly disappointed when the three of them had to split apart that morning. With Max onboard, their first plan would be so much easier to pull off with three sets of hands instead of two.
Still, when the three said goodbyes, sharing eager looks between them just outside of the cafeteria-with David Madsen looking over their shoulders-Rachel did not change her pace and did not let herself calm down. This was going to be good for her and Chloe both. Speaking of, she thought, stepping closer to Chloe, whose arm rose almost instantly to rest on her shoulders. Maybe this brave new Chloe has more than one benefit. Rachel looked up at Chloe. Chloe didn't turn to look down at her, or back at David or even at Max as they split up.
Rachel was amused to see the determination on her face as they milled about, walking toward the theater classroom at roughly the speed of growing moss. To be fair, it left Rachel time to think. Even if Chloe wasn't feeling too terribly talkative, that was fine: she was still warm against Rachel's side and when it came time for them to try out their hand at acting in front of Mr. Keaton, Chloe was going to be at her side more figuratively if not physically. Bit by bit the rest of the entire, small elective class entered the classroom after them: Hayden and Juliet came first, followed by Steph and then Dana.
Mr. Keaton came in, predictably, a minute before the bell rang, clutching his cup of coffee. From her own desk, Rachel looked side-eyed at Chloe who smiled wickedly once at Mr. Keaton's retreating back. To be entirely fair, Rachel didn't pay a lot of attention as he spoke. At one point he instructed them all to write down ideas for an improvisation scene and she did so mechanically. She contemplated the curiosity on Chloe's face as she thought for a moment and then slid a slip of paper into a cap being passed around.
"You were thinking about that one a while," she whispered at Chloe.
"I couldn't come up with anything," Chloe responded, looking a little pink in the cheeks. "Strangely enough," she lowered her voice further, "I'm distracted right now. "
"Hey," Rachel shot back. "Save that kind of talk for your dirty dreams." Chloe shut up and sat up straight, but she did not stop smiling. Around that point the bell rang, signaling that the class was finally going to actually begin. Rachel waved once and it was enough to get Chloe's attention. That was another thing that she had to feel good about under different circumstances but this was serious time. Lowering her hand to her waist she signaled with five fingers. Chloe didn't speak or even nod, but the look in her eyes was enough to get the message across: she would be ready.
The morning light came in pretty well through the couple of windows at one side of the room. A small, weak stage at the front held a chair from which Mr. Keaton lectured unless he was teaching something from a historical bent. In that case, he typically used an old chalkboard set on wheels off to the side. All in all, it was a fairly calm morning for the first few minutes. Rachel tried her best not to appear to be focused on the clock and to that end when she saw three minutes pass, she started to count the remaining seconds.
Up at the foot of the stage, Keaton was talking to Dana about something that even a moment ago Rachel would have remembered. The fact was she had no care for the class, but she had to appear attentive. Rachel locked her eyes on Keaton's face as if she were absorbing his every word and continued to count. 60-59-58… At some point Mr. Keaton asked a question and Juliet, Hayden and Steph each raised their hands. I haven't got a clue. 47-46-45… Juliet gave an answer and judging by the look on Keaton's face he was pleased with it. At that point he approached a spare desk made for a student, where the hat bearing their scene ideas was waiting. 17-16-15… fuck if he calls my name or Chloe's it all goes to shit.
Well, Rachel thought, this is an improv class. With a few seconds still to go, she leaned forward, eyes closing and then, exhaling loudly, she collapsed sideways. For a moment pain actually shot through her arm as she collided with the ground. There was a surprising amount of silence, before a chair pushed back from a desk beside her. Faithful and reactive, Chloe came out of her seat to kneel beside her. Juliet expressed genuine concern from the front, and, most kindly, Keaton didn't call Steph out when she exclaimed, 'Oh, shit!' Mission start, Rachel thought, trying not to smile.
"Rachel?" Chloe said, her voice tentative. Rachel stayed limp as Chloe shook her once, then twice. My other arm is going to bruise, she thought. "Rachel? Come on." Slowly, Rachel opened her eyes, and glanced about the room. Most of the faces in the room were concerned or, in Chloe's case, seemed to be. Steph was staring at her through narrowed eyes. Damn you, Rachel thought. Don't you say a word. She committed to the performance. "There you are."
"What happened?" Rachel asked, keeping her voice quiet. Keaton approached and with some difficulty, knelt down. Chloe "helped" her to sit up.
"You fainted or something," Chloe told her. "You alright?"
"I'm dizzy," she lied, frowning. "I think I need to go to the nurse's office."
"Of course, my dear," Mr. Keaton told her. He steadied himself against a desk and rose back to his feet. "It might just be dehydration, make sure to get some water after she's had a look at you."
"Uh, Mr. Keaton?" Chloe asked. "If she falls while trying to get to the office she could hit her head." Rachel pretended to be too out of it to really speak as Chloe helped her up and did not release her arm.
"We wouldn't want that, I don't fancy breaking in a new Titania," Mr. Keaton chortled to himself. Rachel resisted the urge to roll her eyes and thought that maybe Chloe had rubbed off on her in some unfortunate ways when it came to dealing with people being over the top. "Ms. Price, escort Ms. Amber to the office, quick as you like." Step one: Damsel in Distress, complete. She let Chloe lead her out, muttering to her, asking if her head hurt.
"No," Rachel responded as they finally left the room. The door shut behind them and Rachel kept her head down as Chloe looked about.
"Clear," she said. Rachel relaxed and lifted her head. "Alright, so what's step one of your big master plan?"
"That was step one," Rachel replied in an undertone as she started down the hall for the nearest exist. "Step two is getting to the dormitories without being seen by your Step Douche." Chloe nodded.
"Then let me take a lead, if David sees me you can probably get away, he'll be drooling to give me shit right now." Rachel did step behind her. "By the way, that was impressive."
"Works every time," Rachel told her. She stayed one or two steps behind Chloe but things happened fairly quickly from that point onward. Maybe it was the small uptick in adrenaline and the big effects that could have or maybe it was just hurrying to keep up with Chloe, who was a bit quicker than her, but either way they were at closest exit quicker than Rachel expected. Chloe pushed a door open and stuck her head out comically, it was like a scene from a cartoon. She looked twice in each direction and then pulled Rachel out onto the campus.
"Run?" Chloe asked her.
"Run," she answered, knowing full well there were plenty of windows that they could theoretically be seen by and only so many trees to hide behind. Not to mention David could see us at any point if he's watching.
They made it to the second floor of the dormitories without seeing another living soul. Chloe, it seemed, was finally beginning to relax enough to have questions but was biting her tongue. Rachel appreciated that. It was a lot more fun, in her mind, to imagine Chloe's face as her evil plan began to unfold itself naturally. She pushed the door to her dorm room open and once they were both inside, gestured to a plastic bag in the corner. Chloe crossed the room and after a moment of fiddling with the plastic, was forced to tear the bag open. The first thing she pulled out was a full keyring of keys.
"That part was Max's idea," Rachel clarified. "I told her we'd need to get into locked rooms today and she suggested that Samuel isn't very attentive with his keys." Chloe smiled sideways ."Apparently she's swiped them once already."
"Me too," Chloe said, as if feeling slightly wistful. "God damn, I hope Max likes her birthday party, we kinda owe her on this one." Rachel nodded and gestured for her to go on. Boasting about her plan was fun and all but if Chloe didn't make it back to class in short order people might start asking questions. "What's 'Nair'?" Chloe asked as she fished out a small bottle.
"Hair removal cream," Rachel responded automatically and then she turned the knob to her door. She didn't wait for Chloe to respond. Even still, there was a sharp intake of breath followed by 'Oooh' behind her. Rachel smiled down the empty hall. It took them very little time to get into the first floor dorm hallway but Rachel froze shortly after entering to listen for the sound of a student who might be skipping class or someone doing a room check. Chloe stopped uncomfortably close to her. Or maybe too comfortably, she thought, feeling Chloe's breath against the back of her neck. Her breath began to come heavier. We need to move now.
Rachel started to lead the way, muttering the name of her first target. After a second, Chloe pulled ahead of her and began to literally pull her down the hall. The boys' hall was messier, any signs or posters covered in the crudest graffiti, including a truly freudian number of dick drawings. With Chloe in the lead, Rachel had little else to do but roll her eyes after she counted her 23rd dick drawn across various surfaces of the hall. Jesus Christ, do the words overcompensation mean anything to any of these people?
"Bingo," Chloe said as they reached a door. The slate next to it labeled it as belonging to "Smeliot." Rachel marked it down as the closest thing to wit anyone on the floor was capable of, Rachel watched Chloe try the doorknob. It was, mercilessly, locked. Flipping through keys on a separate ring that seemed to relate to the dormitories, she eventually found one labeled correctly, with the number of the dorm and pushed it open. This pig's room is a wreck. Eliot's room was strewn with clothing: over the dresser, over the back of a chair, across a desk. Rachel shook her head and it hit her that there was one little hitch left in her plan.
"So," Rachel asked as Chloe eased the door shut behind them. "This is where you come in. What does Eliot hold dear?" Chloe responded without a moment of hesitation.
"He has some book of poetry about a gi-" Chloe's voice caught and Rachel turned a raised eyebrow on her. "About me. Um," she started. "Is- is this a bit too mean?"
"Fuck no," Rachel told her. "He's behind the shit that happened in my locker and I feel some kind of way about that." Chloe contemplated for a moment and gestured toward the desk. It took them both carefully shifting clothes, paper and laptop aside, turning up a worn notebook that Chloe pointed at immediately. Rachel took a second to flip through the pages. Every page was full, which was enough for Rachel. She shoved the notebook under her arm and turned away from the desk. Feeling petty, she took his pillow from his bed. Chloe looked amused and Rachel didn't blame her. It was simple petty annoyance compared to the rest of her plan which was probably because it was off the cuff.
From the absolute chaos of Eliot's room to the strangely meticulous organization of Nathan's it was like a matter of night and day. Nathan's room was dark, in many different senses of the word. Enlarged photos, most of which suggestive of some type of sensuality paired with restraint, hung from the walls. A fairly decent printer sat on the desk beside Nathan's laptop. The kind that could probably handle paper for good photographs. She took a moment to covet the dark, thick rug in the center of the floor though. Nathan had a sense of style. She liked most of that style, actually, but she figured if she tried to make off with the rug it would be discovered eventually. Bastard. Then again, the shed in the junkyard…. Rachel filed the idea away for if they absolutely needed another plan for revenge. She pointed toward the mini fridge under the desk.
"Get me one or two of any drink in there that isn't water," Rachel asked. The first thing she did was shove Eliot's pillow under Nathan's bed. Makes absolutely no sense, but at least it will annoy the piss out of them both, maybe even confuse them. Chloe opened the fridge and at that point Rachel was already digging through Nathan's closet. Careful not to expose any skeletons she might not want to see, Rachel avoided anything that looked like a magazine or a photo album. On a shelf at the top of the closet (she had to reach harder than she wanted to) she found a bottle of shampoo that looked to be about half empty. Grinning, Rachel held out her hand.
"Nair," she said, turning back toward Chloe. Chloe had come up from the fridge with a half gallon of chocolate milk and a can of coke. Oh fuck yeah, that's my girl. Rachel grinned.
"Oh, right," Chloe said, pulling the small bottle from her pocket. "Think that's enough?" Rachel nodded, removing the cap from one bottle and then the other.
"What are you thinking?" Rachel asked her, giving the freshly spiked bottle of shampoo a hard shake.
"That no one should ever mess with Rachel Amber."
"I could've told you that the first time we talked," she said, passing the notebook off to the girl before replacing the shampoo bottle. "Last but not least," Rachel quipped, pulling Nathan's small trash can from beside the desk. Chloe tossed the notebook in without hesitating and Rachel took that to be a sign that she wasn't against the idea, after all. In fact, Rachel stepped aside and let Chloe pour both liquids over the notebook and the absurd amount of kleenex in the trash can. He doesn't look like he has a cold, Rachel thought, shuddering. She instantly regretted the thought due to the five or six that followed.
"Just think," Chloe interjected. "It's still first period." Rachel reached out, pushing a strand of blue hair behind Chloe's ear. Chloe shivered and Rachel grinned. It just means that I'll have to wait a while before my sweet sweet revenge comes to fruition. In the meantime.
"So we can both get into some real trouble or we can get you back to class and me to the nurse." Chloe looked red as she turned around to face Rachel. She looked twice at the room around them with some disgust on her face and that was all the answer Rachel needed. "Yeah, you're probably right, let's bounce."
They did.
Rachel was not really riding the high from the sneaking around anymore by the time night had begun to fall. Having just received a text from Max suggesting she was back at the dorms, it felt like the right time for a catching up. It was actually becoming a pretty commonplace part of the evening, to spend the majority of it with Max, either in her room or Rachel's own. Typically it was a matter of conquering shared classwork. Tonight, though, she just wanted some company and since Chloe was doing her 'standing up to David' thing, now, she simply hadn't been able to stick around campus.
"Door's open," Max called from within. Rachel made sure to shut the door behind her fairly quickly.
"Everything go alright with your 'after-school meeting?'" Rachel asked right off the bat. Then she focused her eyes on Max. She was already in a tee and pajama pants, leaning back against the wall as she sat on her bed. A photo album was laying open on top of her closed laptop and to her right was a large, open bag of pretzels. The look of someone who didn't have a care in the world, paired with the snort of amusement at the question was answer enough. "Never mind." Rachel said, shaking her head, though she couldn't help but smile.
"I may have taken the very long, very secluded way back to the dorms," Max told her, grinning. "Like, through the woods."
"And you may have gotten the good stuff," Rachel responded, plopping down on the far end of the bed, reaching out to steal a pretzel. "So," she started, thinking that if there was ever a time to bring this up, this would be it. "How've you been handling things since the school year started?" It's only been a couple of weeks.
"What do you mean?" Max asked, chuckling once. Still, she sat up just slightly and the look of amusement faded from her face. Rachel fought one small war in her head and then continued.
"I mean," Rachel told her. "You're really different now than you were back in May." Max didn't respond, but she did take mini-pretzel and take a bite. Okay, so maybe even high off her ass Max doesn't give straight answers. Rachel wished Chloe was here. No matter how comfortable she and Max had gotten around each other, Chloe had years of experience dealing with her. Oh fuck it, push it. "I mean, honestly, you still get nervous reading lines and I can see that, sometimes I do too but you talk to or at least try to talk to people. You're more decisive, less prone to freaking out and, forgive me for saying, less violent." Max was sitting up straight now, but surprisingly did not look upset.
"You can probably say about all of that about Chloe, too."
"Yeah, but I think we both know it's kind of a bigger change in your case." Rachel watched as Max looked to be considering something and finally the girl patted the bed beside her. Rachel moved back from the edge of the bed, pressing her back against the wall only a few inches from Max, who seemed comforted a little.
"Honestly," Max started, in a voice threatening to be broken by laughter, "I have no fucking clue what's going on with me." This didn't strike Rachel as a lie or obfuscation. "This isn't how people who deal with the shit I was dealing with work. They don't just stop feeling angry or violent. They don't just stop getting worked up around anxiety triggers. That takes work and I was in no shape to put in any work and people? People used to really fuck me up. They kind of still do, but nothing like it used to be." Max sighed a little. "Plus now I can actually think for myself instead of just following directions." This seemed so out of place that Rachel couldn't help but seize onto it and ask.
"Whose directions did you ever follow?" Max raised her head, face conflicted.
"I-I just meant generally speaking," Rachel tried to take her at her word. "I've still got my issues but they seem totally different. Not as bad, at least, not all the time. I still have trouble sleeping sometimes."
"What issues might that be?" Max responded with a question of her own.
"What do you fear?" Max asked. Rachel was slightly taken aback.
"What do you mean?"
"You know, back when we first met you said something that made it sound like you had some sort of phobia." The comment hung in the air and then Max's face changed. It was simultaneously regret and maybe also Max shutting down a bit. And either way, she still looks calm, not like it would have been back then. Then again, how tense can you get in bright pajamas with cartoon cats on them? Rachel smiled, which did confuse Max.
"The technical term is Nihilophobia."
"The fear of nothingness," Max told her. "Void." Rachel nodded. She didn't say anything more as she wasn't prompted and the consideration of even the phobia made her stomach churn a little. She was so distracted for a moment that she didn't realize Max was building up some kind of strength. "Honestly? This whole school and everyone in it scares the shit out of me sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't, sometimes I know why, sometimes I just don't. Sometimes it's so tempting to stay in this room." Rachel shook her head. Maybe there hasn't been as big of a change after all.
"Why?" Rachel asked her.
"I can't say," Max answered, shaking her head. Rachel was about to ask if she had a guess when a noise came up from the floor below. It was not uncommon for sounds from one floor of the dorm to drift to another, especially when some testosterone-fueled jackasses decided to bare knuckle box. Two such incidents had already occurred. Still, tonight Rachel didn't think anyone was able to avoid the scream, wordless and pure rage, that sounded up from the bottom floor, from just where she might imagine the boys' shower was. Loud voices came and went for almost two minutes. Max and Rachel sat in silence, Max alternating between confused at the ruckus and amused at the look of satisfaction on Rachel's face. And this is real, deep, body buzzing satisfaction.
"What in the hell did you two do?" Max asked her when they had not heard anything for almost a minute.
"Honey," Rachel told her, "You'll know it the minute you see it." Rachel pulled out her phone without clarifying any further.
Me
Mission accomplished 3
Gurer'f gung cuenfr, "ab cyna fheivirf svefg pbagnpg jvgu gur rarzl." Urer, gubhtu, V'z gur rarzl naq, V thrff V jnf nyfb gur cynaare? Abar bs guvf srryf yvxr zr. V'z fgnegvat gb sbetrg jung V nz be jung V jnf? Fbzrgvzrf V guvax V arire jnf. Fbzrgvzrf V guvax vg jnf nyy n ubeevoyr qernz. Vg jbhyq or uneq abg gb frr jul gung jbhyq fgvpx nebhaq: gurfr qernzf tb njnl bayl va ovgf naq cvrprf naq guvatf, cuenfrf ehfu va gb svyy gurz hc. Zl qernzf, zl zrzbevrf. Fbzrgvzrf, zbfgyl whfg srryvatf naq vqrnf. Fbzrgvzrf V ungr zlfrys: V qba'g zvff Ure nalzber - V oneryl erzrzore Ure rkprcg va gur culfvpny. Fpubby vf zl yvsr, gurfr gjb ner zl yvsr, ebyyvat qvpr vf zl yvsr, cubgbtencul vf zl yvsr, svtugvat gur hetr gb guebj hc jnyxvat guebhtu Oynpxjryy vf zl yvsr. Gung jubyr bgure yvsr frrzf yvxr vg orybatf gb fbzrbar ryfr. Vg'f jvfushy guvaxvat. V jvfu V jnfa'g n zbafgre fb V cergraq V'z abg. V oneryl erzrzore Oynve'f snpr nalzber naq zbfg bs gur gvzr V sbetrg ure cnegaref' anzrf. Gubfr crbcyr uryq zr gbtrgure jura V jnf cvrprf. V fubhyq zvff gurz. V fubhyq zvff Ure. Qvqa'g V qb guvf sbe Ure?