A/N: hello! thank you for reviewing, favoriting, following, ESPECIALLY REVIEWING, it means a lot to me. :) This is kinda the first real chapter, so enjoy? I just started hating this like an hour ago. Idk whats up with that. I hope it's alright.

"Dick?"

Dick is confused. Baffled. His best friend has just informed him he's quitting being a superhero and moving across the country and he does not understand. That can't be right. "I...what?"

"Did I speed-talk? Sorry, man, I get carried away. Where did I lose y-"

"No, I...I heard everything." Dick's voice sounds unnaturally quiet to his ears. "I just...I don't understand."

Wally's face falls, like Dick's just told him he forgot to bring the food or something, and he sighs. "I figured you wouldn't...take this well."

Dick tilts his head at the boy- man? in front of him who suddenly looks like a stranger. His feet swing back and forth off the mountain's kitchen counter. "You can do part-time while you're in school, you know." Yes, that would be the answer. Wally just forgot, in all his college preparations, that the League has no requirements for hours. A silly mistake.

"Dick, I don't want to." Wally's expression is much too serious for him. It looks out of place. "I told you, I want to live a normal life. Artemis and I both do. I'm not coming back after college."

Not coming back. Leaving and not coming back. Dick is silent for at least a minute, staring at his feet as he processes. This isn't- this really, reallycan'tbehappening.

"You don't want to be with us anymore," is his softly-spoken conclusion. "With...with me."

He tries to hide it, but Dick sees Wally's eyes roll up in exasperation like he's calming down a toddler. "It's got nothing to do with you."

"Why'd I get a special meeting then?" The shake in his voice is poorly veiled by bitterness.

"Because I knew you'd be upset and I wanted you to hear it from me, not through anyone else."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dick knows exactly what it's supposed to mean, and Wally's on the same page, judging by his deliberate glance at Dick's wrists.

Wally sighs. "I didn't want you to have a meltdown over it." He at least has the decency to look ashamed of saying it.

"I'm sorry my meltdowns are such an inconvenience to you," Dick bites back, trying to skew his emotions towards anger so that Wally won't notice he's sort of panicking.

"Dick, please." Wally runs a hand through his hair. "Please don't be like this."

"Like what?"

"Twisting my words. That's not fair. You're not giving me a chance here and you're only thinking about yourself."

Dick slips off the counter and pulls himself into a handstand. He doesn't want to - can't, really - be right-side-up right now. "Someone's gotta."

"You're not doing good, are you?" Wally's voice softens, and Dick's arms start to wobble.

"You wouldn't know." Although, he can't imagine it's difficult to figure out. Unless, of course, someone was completely ignoring him and blowing him off constantly and now ditching him to move across the country- "I guess you've been practicing what it'll be like when you leave?"

"Dick." Wally has his gentle demeanor on and Dick knows he messed up. He can't get Wally mad. No matter how much vitriol he spits at him - stuff he knows is awful, knows is toxic, knows makes him a terrible, terrible friend - Wally always just gets scared and worried and pitying. And then Dick cries, and it's all so exhausting and he doesn't want to do it today. "I'd never, ever not be there for you, okay? I hope you know that. No matter what. This doesn't change that. If you need my help I'll be there."

Dick tries to get his feet back on the floor before he falls to the ground trembling, but he still sort of crumples before steadying himself and standing upright. He thinks the tears might start if he looks at Wally, so he stays turned around, head down, and nods slightly.

"What's scaring you?" He feels a hand on his arm, lightly gripping at first, and then rubbing up and down. "You know I'll visit, right?"

"No, you won't," he mumbles.

"Of course I will."

"You'll quit the team and I'll never fucking see or hear from you again." He sort of has the urge to get his hands on something sharp. The thought of truly losing Wally is terrifying in a way he's never experienced.

Or maybe he has.

Eight years ago. The first time he heard that screaming voice telling him to diediediedie.

The first time he was left alone.

"Why would you think that?" Wally takes his shoulder and twists him around so they're face-to-face, hand lingering there for a few seconds. "We already live far apart. It'll hardly be any different."

"For Wally West, yeah." Dick finds himself glaring a little. "But I don't really see Wally West anymore, I only get to see Kid Flash. Kid Flash isn't gonna be here anymore."

"Huh?" Wally - sweet, caring, funny, amazing Wally who Dick loves more than anything - looks for all the world like he hasn't noticed any change in their friendship and Dick chokes on a sob. He's been more attached to Wally than Wally is to him at least since the team started - and how could he not be, he thinks bitterly, Wally was the only person besides Bruce and Alfred who knew about both his lives. But it feels like proof now, knowing that while he's been grieving and struggling over losing Wally out of costume, the latter hasn't noticed a thing. They used to never miss a week with their sleepovers or at the very least a movie night or breakfast together if they couldn't manage more time. It hurts like a bitch to think that maybe Wally doesn't remember that, doesn't treasure those memories the way Dick does.

He supposes dates with Artemis are probably more fun.

"Forget it." His composure is slipping and he leans on the counter behind him, trying to ground himself. This is happening. He can't stop it. He always knew it would happen eventually, because Wally is smart and charming and has so much going for him, and it's not like Dick really thought he'd be able to cling to him forever without him getting annoyed.

But he's not ready. Now that it's really happening, he just wants more time. He wants Wally to want more time. More time as DickandWally instead of ArtemisandWally and oh yeah, Dick.

"We've been busy."

"You've been busy. I've been-" Lonely. Feeling bad again. You didn't notice. "-the same."

"I..." Wally must see the devastation in his eyes, because he stops. "I'm sorry, Dick. I guess I just..."

"Forgot me." It comes out as a whimper, not the cold remark he meant it to be, and he knows he has to give this up. Let Wally go.

Wally's certainly already let him go.

"Dick-"

"It's okay." He finally lets the tears spill, trying to smile through them. His voice is so tight it hurts his chest. "It's okay, you can go. Y-you have a girlfriend, and a scholarship, and I'm just holding you back. I understand. You're allowed to forget me." He hiccups, and Wally's face falls to a pitying frown.

"Dick, I could never forget you." He's opening his arms, but if Dick hugs him he'll never be able to stop. He turns around instead.

"You should." His fingernails dig into his palms. "I'm...n-not your burden. And I'll...I'll be fine."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying."

He is. He totally is. He doesn't know how he'll get through this, what he'll do when he's in a bad place, how the hell he'll survive if Wally really does cut him off. "It just really fucks me up getting left alone but I always end up that way so it's fine."

"Dick, I'll...I'll call all the time. Every day, if you want. I'm not leaving you alone, buddy, you know I'd never do that." Dick wants to believe it, really, really wants to. But the hole ripping through his chest says otherwise. His heart just screams. His brain says nope, he hates you, he's never ever coming back, he's one of the only things you have and now he's leaving you all by your fucking self just like before, just like always, this is always how it's going to be...

"You literally are but I just said it's fine, okay?"

Wally sighs, seeming at a loss, before he steps forward and wraps his arms around Dick, leaning his chin on the top of his head. "I love you. I'm not abandoning you. Please, please believe me. I love you so much."

He's only ever said that a handful of times, when one of them was on their deathbed or when they were giggly and delirious after long missions. Never this clearly, this sincerely. It makes Dick cry, hard, and then he gives in to the hurt and turns around to bury his face in Wally's welcoming chest, and cries some more. And when he finally stops, out of breath and energy and tears, Wally leans close to his ear. "Do you want me to stay?"

Dick can't tell whether he's referring to right now, or the whole situation. He knows he wants to say yes yes god yes please stay please dontleavedontleaveme.

But he can't. Because Wally needs to be happy, out in California with his girlfriend and his chemistry classes and his happy, happy life and far away from his broken handful of a best friend, not worrying about saving dozens of lives each day and then coming home just to save Dick's for the hundredth time.

"No," he manages, and it's the hardest word he's ever pushed past his lips. "Can...c-can you let me be alone for a while?"

Get used to it, Grayson.

"You sure?" There's an unspoken conversation between their eyes - I'm scared for you - I won't do anything - Promise? - I promise - and Dick nods.

"Okay. I'll call later, okay? And...this means a lot to me, Dick. Your blessing. Thank you." Wally's lips touch Dick's forehead for a moment, and then he's gone - walking, not running. Kid Flash is over and Wally West is halfway out the door, and Robin is angry, and Dick is alone.

He's alone, and he can't breathe, and there's a knife on the counter, and Bruce stopped rolling up his sleeves months ago.

He's alone, and if a robin breaks a promise on the kitchen floor with no one around to see him, it's not really broken. And neither is he.