"Day after day, I will walk and I will play
But the day after today, I will stop and I will start
Why can't I get just one kiss?
Why can't I get just one kiss?
There may be some things that I wouldn't miss
But I look at your pants and I need a kiss
Why can't I get just one screw?
Why can't I get just one screw?
Believe me, I know what to do
But something won't let me make love to you"
~Violent Femmes~
Chapter 10 – Add It Up
Just when Spike was about to launch into the next verse, he got distracted by the sight of someone coming down the stairs. Stopping abruptly, the rest of the band followed suit, until everyone was staring at the figure lumbering down noisily.
Realizing he was the cause of the sudden quiet, Xander smiled at the four musicians in mild embarrassment, "Uh, hey guys. How's everyone doing?"
After a beat of stunned silence, Oz announced, "Okay people, let's take a break. I think Willow's ordered us a Hawaiian pizza and buffalo wings, so feel free to help yourselves." While Chester and Sam headed up and out of the basement, Spike and Oz stayed behind, waiting for Xander to join them.
"Nice place you got here, Oz."
"Thanks." The red head shrugged. "My aunt actually left me this place when she passed."
"Oh. I'm so sorry." He cringed apologetically, feeling like a jerk.
"It's okay, it happened a few years ago."
Attempting to change the subject, he said, "And sorry if I interrupted your rehearsal, guys. Willow let me in and told me to come down here."
"No worries. I'm guessing this is about the status of your mission and not an inspection of my home decorating skills," Oz replied, taking a seat at one end of the couch by the wall.
"So it went well?" Spike asked this time.
"Yeah, it actually did. The first phase of the plan worked out great in fact. I think Dawn and I had an awesome time." Xander smiled at the memory.
"Awesome time had better also mean it was productive, too." Spike walked over to the couch as well, taking the other end of it. "So, what did you find out?"
Xander took a deep breath and chuckled nervously, "Gee, where do I start?"
He paced about the room for a while before speaking again, "I'm not sure if there's anything you can really do differently unless you know how to ice-skate, have a fridge full of cheese, or own a collection of cute little stuffed pigs."
"Excuse me?" asked Spike incredulously.
"Oh, and let's not forget her love of martial arts! She's been learning kung fu for the past two years."
"Not really seeing the point here, but okay." Spike folded his arms, his patience wearing thin.
"See, according to Dawn, Buffy's a huge fan of the Ice Capades, likes anything with cheese, and she has this stuffed pig called Mr. Gordo, that apparently gets more hugs from Buffy than Dawn herself. And yeah, it seems that she's genuinely qualified to kick ass like Bruce Lee, so I wouldn't take her threats of physical harm lightly if I were you." He ended the statement in nervous laughter.
"Right, and do you have anything that I could actually use?"
"Umm…apparently she is a fan of your music, even though she didn't come right out and say it. Dawn said Buffy was humming In the Summertime while she was doing the dishes yesterday."
Spike broke into a small grin and arched his scarred eyebrow in amusement.
"So yeah, not all hope is lost, I guess." Xander nodded. "I'd say you actually have a fair chance if you keep at it."
Oz and Spike exchanged a look.
"I think you know what you have to do." Oz simply stated.
"Yeah, I only hope it isn't going to backfire and make me look like a bloody poof though."
Buffy came home that evening to the bizarre sight of Spike sitting by the kitchen island right beside her mother. There they were talking and laughing like they were the best of friends, sipping on their respective cups of hot chocolate with marshmallows. They were enjoying each other's company so much that they didn't even see her standing in the doorway.
What the heck is going on? Buffy wondered, the scene before her not making any logical sense in her brain. She strongly hoped that he wasn't here to ask her mother's permission for a date with her or anything embarrassing like that.
"Is it me or did I just step into some freaky alternate reality?" she interrupted.
They both looked up in surprise and her mother broke into a wide smile, "Hello, honey! Glad to see you're finally home. Your friend, Spike, was so nice to help Dawn get home today after she sprained her ankle. The very least I could do to thank him was get him to stay for a cup of hot chocolate."
Spiked smiled affectionately at her mother, "Oh Joyce, I love your hot chocolate and marshmallows but you didn't have to thank me. The Little Bit's like my own sister. Goes without saying, I'd help her if she needs it."
"Is she okay? Where is she?" Buffy asked with concern.
"Dawn's in her room taking a nap. Don't worry Buffy, she'll be fine. Thank goodness it's only a minor sprain. Nothing too drastic," Joyce assured her.
"What happened?" It was odd that Dawn hadn't called her first if she needed help getting home.
As though he had read Buffy's mind, Spike replied, "She joined this dance club recently and I guess she got a little too carried away with one of the numbers. She knew you were busy working on your paper so she called Will instead, but since she was stuck in class herself, she asked if either Oz or I would be free to help. And yeah, that's how I ended up here."
"Huh," Buffy mused. Oddly enough, now that she knew the reason of his being there wasn't because of her, she was actually a little disappointed about it.
"I'm going to check on Dawn in a minute, but Spike if you'd like, you're welcome to stay with us for dinner. I've got a garden salad, mashed potatoes, and a heavenly pot roast in the oven. I guarantee you'll love it."
"If the smell in this kitchen is any indication, I'm sure I would. But that's okay Joyce, I really don't want to impose."
Joyce scoffed, "Don't be silly, we have enough food for one more person. You certainly won't be imposing."
Spike was about to protest further, but Buffy came over on the other side of the island to face him. She leaned forward and looked into his eyes, "Yeah, why don't you stay, Spike? We'd love the company."
There was something about the way she was grinning at him that made him a little nervous. He cleared his throat before replying, "I've got to head over to Oz's later for our weekly rehearsal, but yeah, sure. Dinner would be nice, I guess."
"There, that settles it then. I'll go check on our not-so-little twinkle toes now. Buffy, could you set the table in a couple of minutes?"
Buffy nodded as Joyce left the kitchen, leaving her and Spike alone.
They smiled and looked at each other uneasily. The plan was working so far, but Spike felt like kicking himself for suddenly turning into such a poof in her presence. Where had all his charm and smooth talking gone? He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand and forced himself to stick to the mission. "So, how's that paper going? The one about the, uh… analysis of Shakespeare's plays or something like that?"
She sighed, coming over to take the seat her mother had vacated a moment ago. "I don't know. I'm almost finished with it but I've got no idea if it's any good."
"When's it due?"
"We're supposed to hand it in this Saturday, which totally sucks since it's the weekend and I wish I had more time to work on it." She frowned.
"If you'd like, I'd be happy to read it through for you and give you some pointers before you turn it in. Then you'll have a little over a day to improve on it."
Buffy recalled his informative comment at the library and grinned at him. She crowed playfully, "Hah! I knew it!"
"What?"
"You're totally a fan of Shakespeare!" She poked his shoulder and giggled.
Spike scowled at her, "Am not! I just used to read a lot when I was much younger, alright? Doesn't mean I like his soddin' plays or poems."
"Oh my God, you actually read Shakespeare when you were a kid? That is so…English of you." Buffy crinkled her nose adorably and Spike found himself wanting to grab and kiss her until she was weak in the knees.
He chided himself for thinking like a love sick school boy and shoved the thought aside. "Fine, I'll admit that I wasn't always this cool and sexy but if you tell anyone, and I mean, any bloody one, you will pay dearly for it. Understood, sunshine?"
Buffy leaned towards him as she burst into laughter and clutched her abdomen. When she finally managed to stop, she wiped at her tears and shook her head, "You're just a sweet little puppy dog under all that black leather and tight pants, aren't you?"
Spike's eyes darkened at the mention of his pants and in a low tone that sounded like a growl, he whispered, "Trust me, Buffy, there's nothing little underneath all this."
He swore he could see her pupils dilate as her eyes widened. The smile on her face was gone, and her tongue darted out to wet her lips. She chanced a quick glance at his crotch before looking back up at him. Seeing her reaction, he leered at her and chuckled, "And wouldn't you like to find that out for yourself."
She took a shaky breath and looked like she was about to say something, but the words never came.
Mercifully, he ended the tension by changing the subject. "You can show me your paper later, pet. Let's start getting the table set for dinner." He got up first and held a hand out to her. Buffy nodded and took it tentatively, letting him pull her up. Despite the urge to shove him against the wall and have her way with him, she managed to calmly get the plates and utensils out while Spike laid the food out on the dinner table.
They moved about in silence, occasionally stealing glances at each other. They didn't speak again until Joyce and Dawn joined them for dinner.
When it was over, Joyce insisted on clearing the table herself and made the rest of them go out into the living room. Dawn took a seat on the couch and started channel surfing while Buffy ran up to her room to get a copy of her paper printed out for Spike.
"So how's the mission going?" Dawn whispered conspiratorially as Spike sat beside her. She hit the volume up button on the television remote control so they wouldn't risk being overheard.
"Okay, I think," he replied, keeping one eye on the stairs for Buffy. "You deserve an Oscar for that performance, Nibblet."
"Maybe I should've joined the Drama club." Dawn chuckled. "But my mad acting skills aside, are you seriously going to help her with that paper?"
Spike took his attention off the stairs for a second to look at the younger Summers. "Well, I'm a man of my word, aren't I? And after all, I am English. So really, how hard can it be? The Bard's practically like my great, great, great granddad."
Dawn rolled her eyes at the exaggeration but before she could comment, Buffy came bounding down the stairs.
Spike and Dawn exchanged a brief look before he got up and moved towards Buffy.
"Here you go. Remember, it's not quite done yet so don't expect too much." She smiled somewhat shyly as she handed him her work.
"I'm sure it's going to be absolutely fine." He assured her.
"I wouldn't be so sure about that, but thank you for doing this."
"No worries, luv." He took his coat and said his goodbyes to Joyce and Dawn before heading for the door, Buffy following close behind.
When they were alone on the porch, the sudden quiet between them seemed peaceful. The awkwardness they'd felt earlier in the kitchen was nowhere to be found.
"Thanks for making me stay for dinner. I had a great time getting to know your mom."
"Thanks for helping Dawn and for looking at my paper." She smiled back. Admittedly, it felt nice to be around him when he wasn't annoying her.
Spike stepped forward and gently placed a hand on her am, "I hope this isn't going to make me sound too pushy, but go out with me, pet. Give me one chance."
Buffy heard the minor plea in his voice and was surprised at how vulnerable and earnest he seemed. She looked deep into his cerulean eyes and wondered if there would be any harm in just one date. As long as she didn't allow herself to fall too deeply into things this time, maybe it would do her some good.
"Cordelia Chase is throwing a party this weekend at her place and she's invited the entire band over. We're allowed to bring a plus one, so I'm hoping you'll come with me."
Buffy gave a lopsided grin, "So our first date's going to be at some wild party filled with college kids and hosted by the infamous Cordy?"
"You know her?"
She shrugged a little. "We were friends a long time ago but you know how it is. People change and we drifted apart. I know she used to date Devon, but I didn't realize she had kept in contact with the rest of the band."
"If you're not comfortable with it, we can always do something else," he suggested, "Whatever tickles your fancy."
"No, it's okay. A party sounds fun, actually." She nodded positively. At least she didn't have to worry about things getting too romantic between them. "Beats the usual boring candle lit dinner and a movie, right?"
"Can't quite tell if you're being serious or sarcastic, pet."
Buffy laughed, "You haven't been to one of her parties before, have you?"
Spike shook his head.
"Well then mister, you should brace yourself because if her standards haven't changed, I'm pretty sure it's going to get pretty wild and freaky. What's the occasion, anyway?"
"I think it's a housewarming. Told Oz she moved to a new mansion or something a couple of weeks ago and it's in need of a proper warming up."
"Ugh, life is so unfair." Buffy rolled her eyes, "I bet she churns out fifteen page papers in her sleep, too."
Spike chuckled. "I'm sure your paper's fine. Let me take a look and I'll meet you at the library tomorrow to run through it."
She nodded and smiled, grateful that he was sincere about helping her with her paper. On impulse, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, blushing slightly as she did so.
Spike's face broke into a wide grin. He didn't know why a simple, chaste kiss on the cheek would make him feel so elated but he was, and Buffy could see it too. She grinned back at him and wished him goodnight before heading back inside.
After she left, Spike headed towards his DeSoto that was parked nearby. The happiness he was feeling subsided as he remorsefully remembered why he was even here in the first place. It lasted for a while before he berated himself for feeling guilty, reminding himself that she probably would've never said yes or even wanted to get to know him if he hadn't been there for Dawn or offered to help with her paper. A nauseating thought occurred and it made him sick in the pit of his stomach. What if the only reason she had said yes was because he was helping Dawn and offering to help with her paper?
Then again, who was he to get upset when his own intentions weren't entirely pure either?
"You're doing this for the money and the guitar, you git. Best remember that," he said to himself as he started up the car. Hitting the gas pedal, he peeled down the street and into the night, wishing that the tiny voice of guilt would leave him be.