Author's note: In the upcoming chapter after this, there will be a NSFW scene, and as such, I will be changing the rating of this story in the near future, so do take note of that. In the meantime, hope you enjoy this one.

"Oh, I'm a mess right now, inside out

Searching for a sweet surrender but this is not the end

I can't work it out, how

Going through the motions, going through us

And oh, I've known it for the longest time

And all of my hopes, all of my words

Are all over written on the signs

When you're on my road, walking me home

Home, home, home, home

See the flames inside my eyes

It burns so bright I wanna feel your love, no

And easy baby, maybe I'm a liar

Before tonight I wanna fall in love

And put your faith in my stomach."

~Ed Sheeran~

Chapter 15 – I'm A Mess

It was the final song on their first set and considering that she was expecting to see a surprise marriage proposal from Oz, the sight of Spike singing and looking directly at her caught her extremely off guard. A panic attack was fast approaching as she started to realize the intent of his performance.

While he had been playful and sexy the first time he had sung to her at The Venice Bar, this instance had a completely different vibe, other than the sexy part, which Buffy suspected was more likely a case of just Spike being himself.

It almost felt like a fairytale moment to her and while the crowd they were amongst might've thought it was an act, Buffy knew that this was the real deal. This intense and serious version of Spike was him apologizing and confessing his deepest emotions to her and the realization of it both moved and terrified her at the same time.

As Spike sang the first few verses of the song, he never took his eyes off hers. Even from a distance, he could see her hazel green eyes grow wide with surprise at first, and then something close to panic and fear set in as it dawned on her that she was the subject of it. He watched her turn to Willow, and saw a few words being exchanged. He couldn't tell what was being said but then she turned to him again, and he dreaded that she was about to bolt out the door.

If she did run now, he knew he would never get another chance to tell her again and he couldn't let that happen. He hadn't planned on it but desperation made him walk off the stage and on his way to her as he sang the next two verses.

"I messed up this time, late last week
Drinking to suppress devotion, with fingers intertwined
I can't shake this feeling, now
We're going through the motions, hoping you'd stop

And though I've only caused you pain, I know
But all of my words will always be low
Of all, all the love we spoke
When I'm on your road, driving you home
Home, home, home, home"

In a state of disbelief, she turned to her best friend, who looked just as shocked as her.

"Will, this can't be real. Tell me I'm hallucinating!" she gasped.

"Uh, I hate to say this, but I don't think you're dreaming."

"I don't believe you. Pinch me."

Willow gave Buffy a hard pinch on the arm.

"Holy crap, this isn't a dream!" she winced in pain, feeling a mild panic attack coming on, her heart was beating a thousand times faster as he started to make his way down the stage while still singing and looking straight at her.

She gulped, "You know that fight or flight response we have when faced with a dangerous situation?"

"What about it?"

"Well, my brain is telling me that flight might be a good idea right about now."

Willow made a stern expression and gave her friend a mild squeeze on the same arm she had pinched earlier, "Oh no you don't, Buffy. See my resolve face?"

Buffy nodded in reply.

"You're a tough cookie, and we both know that you're not running away from this."

Knowing Willow was right, a wordless, strangled cry escaped her as she stood rooted to the spot.

"Take a few deep breaths and calm yourself down," Willow said.

"But Will, I can't imagine, I mean, what could I possibly say to him now…"

"No buts, missy! I won't have you being mopey anymore and obviously he's been trying very hard to talk to you these past weeks."

"Oh, so this is my fault?" Buffy's eye widened.

"I never said it's anyone's fault, but this is definitely something you both need to sort out."

"Right, let's sing about our feelings in front of a hundred strangers. That's not crazy at all."

"Well, it's not like you gave him any other options."

Buffy glared at Willow, "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"And I am!"

"Why am I not convinced?"

"Buffy, sometimes the only mode of transportation left is a leap of faith." The red head grinned.

He watched the dread in her mounting as he approached and for a split second was seriously considering chasing her down the streets just in case she ran out the door. But then, just as it looked like she was about to bolt, Willow intervened and talked her into staying. Thankfully, whatever Willow said seemed to calm Buffy down and when she turned back to face him, he could tell that even though she was afraid, she was at least prepared to face him now.

He would've sighed in relief if he wasn't singing and made a mental note to thank Red later. Even though he was still scared shitless on the inside, he made his way towards her steadily, keeping his focus on her as everything else around them slowly faded to black and it seemed like there was nothing else in that space but the two of them and the music.

"See the flames inside my eyes

It burns so bright I wanna feel your love, no

And easy baby, maybe I'm a liar

Before tonight I wanna fall in love

And put your faith in my stomach

And for how long I love my lover
For how long I love my lover
And now, now, for how long, long I love my lover
Now, now, for how long, long I love my lover

And I feel love, I feel it all over now, now
And I feel love, I feel it all over now, now."

There was more to the song, but he stopped when he finally came face to face with her.

As the music played on, they stared at each other, each searching the other's gaze. While Spike's were filled with uncertainty and desire, hers were a mix of fear and something he presumed that was close to hope. He held his breath and inched closer towards her. Silently praying that she would forgive the hurt he caused her with his carelessness. He swept his thumb across her cheek, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck tentatively. Seeing that she didn't flinch or run from him, he tilted his head forward in a rush to kiss her, sweeping the rest of her into his arms.

Buffy could hear the crowd around them gasp in shock and she knew it was wrong. Whatever it was between them was probably going to be a big mistake. She knew she should've turned and run the other way, away from him as far as possible.

But despite how guarded she had become with her heart, there was just something about him that saw beyond her walls and barriers and it was making her throw caution to the wind. The soft feel of his lips were light on hers and the kiss itself started off tender and chaste. She felt his tongue gently probing her, seeking permission to taste and she responded in kind.

After a minute of stunned silence, the crowd burst into cheers, hoots, and applause. Buffy broke away from the kiss first and blushed in embarrassment. The music ended and they smiled at each other before she pulled him close to her again.

Tucking her head in the crook between his neck and shoulder, she tried to hide her face from the crowd. She had never before felt so self-conscious, mortified and happy all at the same time.

"That was one helluva first kiss." she giggled, feeling rather lightheaded.

Wrapping her tightly in his arms, he whispered in her ear, "I cannot tell you how relieved I am that you didn't run away from me this time."

"I figured an apology that dramatic deserves to be heard out."

Spike chuckled while still holding onto her, "I'm sorry for being such an idiot, luv."

She let the words sink for a moment and sighed, "No, you're not an idiot, Spike."

"Are you sure?" he grinned, "Because I do admit that I've said some pretty stupid things to you."

She pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes as he stared back at her, "Well, okay, maybe you are just a little bit of an idiot, but I know I have my issues too."

"Buffy, it doesn't matter as long as you're willing and ready to talk to me."

"Oz sent you over first, huh?" Buffy asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

Spike would've pulled her in for another kiss if Willow wasn't there, so instead he replied, "Yeah, he insisted I come over first while the rest of the boys finish up packing."

"I think you deserve it after that spectacle of a performance," Willow remarked, "and boy, wasn't that something else. That was a top quality movie magic production."

He beamed at Willow and winked, "Couldn't have done it without you though, I saw how you helped keep her steady, so thanks for that, Red."

"Nah, don't need to thank me. I just want our Buff happy is all." She shrugged casually. "That being said, if you do hurt her, I will hunt you down and gut you like a fish, is that clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good." Willow nodded with a smile before finishing her drink. Placing the empty glass back on the table, she slid off her chair and addressed both blondes, "I'm gonna go look for Oz backstage and give you two a little privacy, but you kids behave yourselves, okay?"

As she watched Willow make her way past the dance floor of crowded bodies swaying to the rhythmic, pounding beats, Buffy caught a few dirty looks as she scanned the crowd ahead of them. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Gosh, with the exception of Will, I think just about every girl and even a couple of the boys here want to murder me now."

"Let them try then." Spike gave an amused look and scoffed, "I doubt they're any match for you."

"Yeah right, all the kung fu skills in the world wouldn't be any match against a whole horde of raging hormonal scorned and bitter fans."

To her ire, Spike broke into a laugh.

"Oh, you think it's real funny, do you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "Well, buddy, you aren't gonna be laughing later when Big Bertha there decides to come over and flatten me like a pancake once your back is turned." She discreetly pointed at a particularly stocky female fan sitting two tables away. Buffy had caught the girl repeatedly glowering at her ever since Spike kissed her.

"None of us are going to let that happen, pet. And even though I undoubtedly know that you won't need my help, I want you to know that I'll always try to be there for you."

Before she could reply, he placed both hands on her waist and yanked her towards him. This time, he went for a full on French kiss and she moaned in response as he held her body firmly against his. His hands roamed all over her, one finding its way to her breast as he squeezed it just hard enough to make her gasp, and the other palmed her ass possessively. She started to feel a certain part of his lower region press hard against her as they continued to kiss.

"Spike," Buffy breathed between kisses, "this is very…very bad, we shouldn't…"

"Yes, we should, pet." he growled in reply, not stopping a beat.

"Supposed to….behave…" she attempted, but the rest of the words were lost on her as she gave in to the pleasurable sensations he was triggering. She would've blushed if she wasn't so distracted with his tongue teasing and probing her, and she couldn't help but respond with a tiny moan as he did so. She balled his shirt up tightly in her fists, and panted as his kisses started to travel down to her neck and shoulder. She arched forward and held onto his shirt for dear life. She thought it was a miracle that all the buttons still managed to hold.

Just as she was about to suggest that they continue this at a more private place, Spike pulled away and gave her a wicked grin, leaving her out of breath and wanting more. Feeling her own lower region hot and tingling with desire while her panties were getting damp, she inwardly cursed at the effect he was having on her.

"Oh, you sick son of a bitch!" she fumed. "This is cruelty, you know that?"

He gave a chuckle and bit his lower lip playfully. "You want me so bad," he teased.

"And you are going to pay for this, very dearly!" She huffed, her words dripping with venom.

With a hand on her back, he leaned in close to her ear and in a low tone whispered seductively, "That's exactly what I'm counting on, pet."

She felt goose bumps rise on the skin of her forearms and probably would've also melted in his arms if it were actually possible. He drew away with a straight face and stood next to her, putting an arm around her waist casually and looked on ahead of them.

She frowned in confusion until she followed his line of sight. Up ahead, she caught the rest of the band and Willow coming their way.

She chanced a glance back at him and he gave her a haughty smile.

"Ugh, you smug bastard." she rolled her eyes at him.

"And isn't that just one of the many things you adore about me?" he waggled his eyebrows at her.

Buffy wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss or kill him, so instead she looked back at their approaching friends and gave them her best smile.

After the first round of drinks was done, Buffy went ahead to the bar to order more beer for everyone. As she waited for her order, someone beside her asked, "Just how did you get him to fall for you?"

Not recognizing the voice, Buffy turned to face the girl. Based on the overkill of black eyeliner that was applied around her eyes and the extra tight black tee shirt that spelt DINGOES across her ample chest, she had a vague recollection of where she had seen the girl.

A look down at the red mini skirt and ugly fishnet stockings confirmed her guess and she couldn't hide her look of disdain as she looked back up to the girl's face. It was the Goth trollop who had blatantly threw herself at Spike earlier just before the band performed.

"Why do you want to know?" Buffy asked.

"No offense, but you're not his type so I guess you must've done something really special for him to actually be taken by the likes of you."

As opposed to the likes of you, I presume? Buffy marveled, while shaking her head. Paying no further attention to the girl, she took the pitcher of beer the bartender had placed on the counter and handed him the cash.

"Thanks a lot, Brian."

The bartender nodded in acknowledgement and went over to the other side of the counter.

Seeing that Buffy was ignoring her, the Goth girl blocked her path when she tried to head back. They stared at each other for a second before Goth Girl said, "I'm not done talking to you."

"Why should I bother with this meaningless conversation when you already have your preconceived assumptions?"

"Listen up Blondie, I don't know how you managed to scam him, but there's no way that Spike would ever fall for a girl like you. I guarantee you this won't last since everyone knows he likes his girls dark, deep and mysterious. So why don't you take my advice and save yourself some pain? Stay the hell away from him if you know what's good for you!" Goth Girl threatened.

Goth Girl was quickly unravelling into Psycho Bitch and yet despite the hostile warning, Buffy couldn't help her curiosity, "And how exactly do you know what he likes?"

"Well, duh. Unlike you, I actually did my homework, you bimbotic whore. His ex was like the perfect Dark princess and he was her Dark Prince until she broke his heart into a million pieces. Poor sweet Spike, that whole ordeal must have made him go temporarily insane. That's the only logical explanation for him being even remotely attracted to someone like you." She frowned sadly at that last sentence.

Buffy's eyes widened in shock and anger, "Excuse me, but what the hell did you just call me?"

"Isn't that what you are? Just another stupid, greedy bitch who thinks she can worm her wicked way into Spike's life and play with his emotions." Psycho Bitch spat.

"Okay, that's it, I've heard enough," Buffy said in a tone of calm finality, before she hurled the entire contents of the pitcher into Psycho Bitch's face.

Buffy couldn't resist cracking a smile at the sight of the other girl dripping and spluttering in Bud Light from head to toe.

Save for the music in the club, there was yet again another moment of stunned silence for the second time that night from everyone around them, including her friends.

"You stupid cow, I'm gonna kill you for this!" Psycho Bitch screeched and suddenly lunged towards Buffy, causing the wind to get knocked out of her momentarily as the other girl crashed into her and they both fell to the ground. With Psycho Bitch having the advantage of being larger in size than Buffy, she swiftly straddled the blonde, tightly trapping her from the waist down.

She raised her fist back for a punch, but before she could land it, Buffy smashed the empty pitcher into the side of her head.

"Buffy!" Willow yelled from behind, trying to push her way through the crowd that had formed, followed by the rest of the guys.

Psycho Bitch howled in pain but it wasn't enough to knock her out. Grabbing Buffy's neck with her right hand in a chokehold, she leaned downwards and hissed, "If you know what's good for you, you'd get your goddamn claws off him!"

Buffy used her right hand to grab onto Psycho Bitch's wrist, and her left hand to grip the back of her elbow, effectively trapping the other girl's arm in place. Bending her left leg, she swung it outwards to trap Psycho Bitch's right foot beneath her own body to lock it in position as well.

In the following split second, she pushed her own hips up with all her might and used the momentum and gravity to throw Psycho Bitch over onto her back. Gaining the advantage now, Buffy straddled the bigger girl with ease despite the manic struggling underneath her.

When exhaustion overtook her, the dark haired girl stopped trashing. Her body went limp and she stared up at Buffy in shock, unwilling to believe that the tiny blonde could've defeated her.

"Are you done?" the blonde asked.

"This doesn't mean you win." The other girl panted breathlessly, "Spike is mine. You got that, Blondie?"

"Only in your dreams, Psycho Bitch," Buffy replied with a smile, before ending it with a swift punch that knocked the other girl out cold.

Straightening her back upright, she rolled her head back and blew out a tired breath, just as the rest of the gang had managed to make their way over to her.

"What happened?" Spike asked, helping her up on her feet as he did so.

"That." Buffy pointed at the unconscious girl, "Is worst case of fatal attraction I've ever seen."

"Isn't that Raelyn?" Chester asked, taking a closer look at Buffy's attacker. "Or as we like to call her, Spike's numero uno stalker."

"You sure her name's not Psycho Bitch?" Buffy asked.

Chester shook his head, "I would've never pegged her as crazy."

"Are you kidding me?" Buffy sighed, as she tried miserably to fix her disheveled hair, "The girl makes Norman Bates look normal. Juliet here thinks I tried to take away her Romeo and warned me to keep my unworthy hands off him."

Upon hearing the cause of the fight, Spike buried his head in both hands and groaned.

"Yeah, probably might be a good idea for you to get a restraining order against this one." Buffy shrugged.

"Thanks for the suggestion, pet, but I think you'll need it more."

"Nah, I don't think she'll try anything on me for a while, not unless she wants to be shown who the boss is again."

"Admittedly, that smack down was pretty awesome." Oz observed and everyone else nodded in agreement.

"We couldn't be more proud of you, Buff." Sam patted her on the back.

"Yeah, and that badass stunt there where you flipped her over in two seconds was the coolest thing ever." Chester snickered.

"Thanks guys." Buffy cheerfully smiled for a second before looking down at her outfit. Frowning at the sorry sight, she added, "Ugh. And nice to see I've got Bud Light all over my once pretty dress too."

"Yeah, I don't think you can go home in that state." Willow grinned, "Your mom would flip if she knew you got into a good old fashioned bar fight."

"We can go back to my place and clean you up first." Spike offered, taking off his leather jacket and placing it around her. "I'll drive you home after that."

At the prospect of being naked in the shower of Spike's apartment, Buffy felt shivers run down her spine and her legs spontaneously turning to jelly. Outwardly though, she kept her cool and replied nonchalantly, "Yeah, okay."