Pardon the way that I stare
There's nothing else to compare
The sight of you makes me weak
There are no words left to speak

But if you feel like I feel
Please let me know that it's real
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you

~ Frankie Valli as sung by Muse ~

Chapter 19 – Can't Take My Eyes Off You

Buffy and Dawn watched from the second floor of The Bronze as Spike and the rest of the band were performing a rocked out version of a classic Frankie Valli track.

The blond lead singer looked up at his girl on the balcony and gave a surreptitious wink when he sang the line, "You'd be like heaven to touch."

Catching the secret exchange between the couple, Dawn gushed like a giddy schoolgirl as she fidgeted beside her older sister, "Oh Buffy, I can't tell you how happy I am now that you and Spike are finally official! You two are like the cutest couple I've ever seen!"

"Uh huh," Buffy replied skeptically, while still keeping her eyes on the stage. "And that's opposed to you and Xander?"

Dawn's smile turned into a frown at the mention of her own love life.

She snorted in disappointment, "We would never win that award because Xander is, to be completely frank, too socially awkward to be considered cute."

A moment later, she added with a shrug, "Besides, sometimes I'm not convinced that we're an actual couple."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, one kiss doesn't automatically make you a couple, right?"

The older sister frowned, "What are you saying?"

Dawn sighed, "I'm saying, both Parker and Xander have asked me to be their date at the SSU Ball and at this point, I'm not sure who I want to go with."

That comment tore her gaze away from the stage. Buffy turned to her sister in alarm, "Dawnie, you're not actually attracted to Parker, are you? Please tell me you're not seriously thinking of going with him instead of Xander."

"I don't know, really. Other than being overly forward and maybe a bit handsy at times, I actually think Parker's an okay guy. Unlike Xander who…is nice, but gosh, sometimes I can't tell whether or not if he really likes me. I just feel that sometimes he treats me more like a kid sister rather than object of affection."

The older Summers rolled her eyes, "Trust me, it just means that Xander respects and genuinely cares for you, which is tons better than having a guy like Parker who's just another typical randy horn dog who wants to get in your pants and then toss you aside the next day as if you're yesterday's newspaper."

Red flags started waving around in Dawn's head. The details were way too specific to be just a cautionary warning and she suspiciously narrowed her eyes at her sister, "Okay, now what exactly aren't you telling me about Parker?"

Replying too quickly, Buffy turned her attention back to the stage, "Nothing."

"That was plenty of something, alright. Buffy, why does the mention of him always get you so riled up?"

"Because he's an asshole of the highest order and you'll just have to trust me when I say he's bad news."

"I trust you, but please talk to me. What did he do?"

Before her sister could reply, Willow returned with their drinks, leaving Dawn's question unanswered for the time being.

At the parking lot of The Bronze, Oz and Spike were packing in the last of their equipment into Oz's van.

"Seems like Buffy and you are in a good place now," Oz said, as he lifted one of the guitar cases off the ground.

"Yeah, it sure does." Spike grinned from genuine happiness at the mention of Buffy's name.

"I'm assuming you two are way beyond the three dates Xander stipulated in the agreement?"

Seeing where the conversation was heading, Spike's grin faded. "Couldn't believe it myself when it happened. But somewhere along the line, I suppose I've really fallen for the bint – hook, line and sinker. I reckon she makes me a lot happier than Dru ever did, even in all of our best years put together."

"So you're going to call off the plan?"

"What? Are you kidding me?" Spike laughed, as he moved the last of their gear into the van. Despite also considering that it might've been better to put a stop to it himself, he let his ego and overconfidence get the better of him once more.

"Seriously, mate, I may be falling deep into the pit of love, but that doesn't mean 'm a soddin' idiot. I still want that guitar and bloody rightfully so, especially after all the hoops I've been made to jump for her! And before you go on guilt-trippin' me for being unscrupulous, I say why the hell should I feel the least bit wrong 'bout it? I'm supposed to be the Big Bad for cryin' out loud!"

"Was that speech for me or you?"

"Hey, don't be cheeky with me, Daniel."

Oz remained silent but Spike caught the look of disapproval in his friend's eyes.

He sighed, "Look, let me reiterate my point, I may be love's bitch, but that doesn't mean I've also lost all my marbles, mind you. Haven't forgotten how valuable that guitar is and you should know by now that I'm also a practical man."

Unconvinced by his friend's bravado, Oz warned, "Well, whatever you do, just remember that the last thing you'd ever want is to hurt her."

"You know that I would never ever, Oz," Spike said, even as the remorse of his intentions weighed heavy in his heart.

After Spike dropped the sisters back at the Summers household, Buffy decided that it was time for her to come clean for the sake of her sister and hastily pulled Dawn into the kitchen before she could change her own mind.

"Let's have some hot chocolate before bed," she said in a falsely cheery voice as she pulled out the necessary ingredients.

"Buffy, I don't feel…"

"I'm already making them, Dawn, just take a seat and make yourself comfy!" Making the fastest two cups of instant hot chocolate she'd ever made in her life, Buffy took an anxious deep breath as she poured the hot water into the cups.

Dawn took a seat at one of the bar stools, folding her arms and staring expectantly at Buffy.

"Okay…" Buffy started, bringing the hot chocolate with her as she took the seat beside her sister. "Judging from the looks you kept giving me after that conversation we had about Parker versus Xander, I think we need to talk."

Taking the cup nearer to her, Dawn replied, "Yeah, more like you need to talk. What exactly are you hiding from me, Buffy?"

Buffy sighed and rubbed her temple, closing her eyes momentarily. She hadn't exactly planned on how she was going to share this deeply humiliating secret with her sister.

Taking another deep breath, she replied, "Basically, Parker isn't the dream boat that you think he is."

"And you would know that because…?"

"What I said earlier, about being used and tossed aside…he…" Buffy took a big gulp of her hot chocolate, wishing it was something stronger. "He did that to me a long time ago when we first moved here and I was just a freshman."

She stopped for a moment, the look in her sister's eyes was too much and she lowered her gaze to stare at the cup in her hands.

Gathering all the courage she could muster, she continued on, "He…was one of the first people who made an effort to get to know me. And I thought he really liked me because it seemed like we really connected, so I agreed to go out on a few dates with him and everything was just perfect. So I really thought we had something special between us."

She took another sip of her hot chocolate, preparing herself for the hardest part, "But after we slept together, he stopped making an effort to talk to me….I even tried calling and texting but he never replied either. In fact, he wasn't even around the next morning when I woke up in his bed."

She paused briefly to wipe a tear that ran down her cheek, before concluding, "The next time I saw him, he was already with another girl, acting as if nothing had happened between us. When I tried to talk to him about it, he basically brushed me off and told me not to embarrass myself in the presence of others."

Dawn's eyes widened in surprise, a mix of emotions swelling inside her as she tried to process everything her sister had just said. In her calmest voice possible, she asked, "Why have you never told me this before?"

"Because we're not allowed to even date, remember?"

"Buffy, I am your sister and I don't buy that horse crap for one second. You know I wouldn't have ratted out on you."

They stared at each other for a moment and Dawn added, "You know, I'm really getting pissed off now. I'm upset that you don't even think that you can trust me enough to tell me when something bad has happened to you."

"Dawnie, believe me, it's not like that!" Buffy pleaded.

"Oh really? Then what is it then, Buffy?" Dawn asked skeptically. "Please, enlighten me as to why you think I'm not good enough to be privy to such important information."

Buffy felt her eyes begin to water again, "Because I'd never felt more foolish and humiliated in my whole life than at that moment when I realized that he was simply just using me. I mean, I should've known better, you know? I should've seen that coming from a mile away, instead of letting my stupid naivety cloud my judgment."

Dawn sighed, the anger slowly ebbing away from her at the sight of her sister's rare moment of vulnerability. Now that she finally knew the truth, this revelation actually explained a lot of things about Buffy's behavior since their move to Sunnydale.

Feeling the tears begin to well in her own eyes, she pulled Buffy towards her for a hug. She stroked the back of her sister's head and mumbled, "Great, now I feel like the biggest self-absorbed jerk and worst sister on earth for being mad at you. And you know you can't blame yourself for what happened. You couldn't have known that he was such a tool at the time."

When they pulled apart, Buffy wiped her tears away and said, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Dawn."

"It's okay. Next time I see Parker, I'll be punching him in the nose, or maybe I'll knee him in the nuts. Hmm, or maybe I'll do both! Yes, that sounds like a great idea."

Even through her waterworks, the older Summers laughed, "Normally I would be against my little sister using physical violence to make a point, but in this case, make sure you hit him hard and fast. Make it really count, okay?"

Dawn grinned, "I will…And hey, on the bright side, at least you're with Spike now, right? He's like the coolest guy I've ever met and we can all see that he's definitely nuts about you."

Buffy gave a small smile, "Maybe, I don't know. Everything seems too good to be true and all the ones before him, they've all left me one way or another…Who's to say things won't end in the same way again?"

"Geez, Buffy, that's extremely optimistic of you."

"You do know that my dating Spike is technically prone to a lot more heartache than all the other exes before him, right?"

Dawn rolled her eyes, "That would be stereotyping just because he's a rock star slash sex symbol with more than half the women in Sunnydale wanting to shag him."

"Dawnie!" Buffy gasped, "Language, please!"

Ignoring her sister's outrage, she continued, "I mean, as long as he loves you loyally, I don't see the problem, really. You'll see though. Everything's going to turn out okay in the end."

Buffy wasn't feeling as confident, but she hoped her sister words would prove her own wrong.

"Pet, I wouldn't worry if I were you." Spike kissed the top of her head as she nestled closer towards him. They were curled up on his living room couch watching an old episode rerun of his favorite soap opera, Passions. Though Buffy was only half concentrating on the show as she was also reading through the final round of edits made for her Sonnet paper.

"Easy for you to say, you're about as English as fish and chips," she muttered worriedly.

Spike chuckled, "Oh ye of little faith. I'm sure you'll do just fine."

"I certainly hope so. There are a lot of applicants for the program this year so I'm just hoping for the best but preparing for the worst."

"Well, that's the right attitude, then. Mind if I ask which country you've picked?"

"Mmm, based on the courses I wanted, it was down to a choice between the universities in Venice or Kyoto. And since I probably have a better chance at speaking broken but passable Italian, rather than Japanese, I figured I'd better go with Italy."

"Good choice. And here's a fun fact, did you know some of Shakespeare's plays are based in various parts of Italy? Like in your case, The Merchant of Venice would be a good example."

Buffy moved just far back enough to look him in the eye, and with a wide grin, she said, "Gosh, you're so super cute when you get all English and dorky."

"Oi! Stop that!" Pouted Spike, "I'm neither cute nor dorky, mind you."

"Yes, you are. Not to mention you're also good at poetry."

"No 'm not, and bloody hell, can't you just be happy that I helped you with the soddin' paper and end it at that?"

With the smile still stuck on her, she shook her head.

"And just so you know, you silly bint, you didn't have to offer a trade for that paper. I would've gladly done all I can to help you anyway. All you had to do was ask nicely."

Giggling, Buffy leaned over to kiss him, and soon enough, Spike's grumpiness relented and he kissed her back. She yelped when he pushed her flat on her back. As his kisses grew harder and more urgent, she moaned in response, letting the papers fall out of her hands as she wrapped her arms around him.

When their lips broke apart momentarily, she said, "And just so you know, I would've gone to the SSU Ball with you if you'd just ask nicely too. You really didn't have to use Xander and Dawn as an excuse."

Spike growled, "Blimey, pet! For the last bloody time, I did not use them as an excuse!"

Finding it difficult to argue with her in his lust induced haze, he could barely contain himself when she started wriggling underneath him with her hands wandering all over. Biting his lower lip, he added, "Now if you're done being silly, can we please get back to the more important matter at hand?"

"Hmm, speaking of hands…" She grinned, letting her own wander lower between them, until she found the large bulge in his jeans, giving it a bit of a squeeze.

Spike groaned in torturous pain and Buffy never felt happier.

Chapter summary:

This chapter's song is not only fitting of the theme but also, once again, a shoutout to the awesome movie, 10 Things I Hate About You! The wonderful original version of this song sung by Frankie Valli. The version that Spike is singing though is more like the one done by Muse - go find it on youtube!