Hey! I am finally back! A nice, long chapter by my standards to make up for the wait.
I don't own Harry Potter. I hope you know this by now.
The first week at Hogwarts passed with remarkable normality. The mini Marauders had played a few minor pranks (Such as teaching Peeves annoying muggle songs, charming tiny replicas of the four house mascots to prowl the school and somehow managing to change all the common room passwords to 'Dumbolddork'). Dumbledore really hadn't been impressed by the last one. The four new first years had, of course, been breezing through all their classes, especially the Potter-Blacks. However, the time had finally come for them to reconvene to discuss 'the take down' as they'd been calling it. It was time to prank Dumbledore and become prankster legend.
The whole group had been in fits of laughter over the half-suspicious, half-terrified looks they'd been receiving from the Hogwarts staff. The longer they went without pulling a major prank, the jumpier the professors became. They'd been counting on Sev passing on their reputation, not only to sew the seeds of fear, but also to give the group more of a challenge. After all, they didn't want to make things too easy. So, On Friday night, Harry and Draco prepared to once again sneak out after curfew only for a voice to stop them in their tracks.
"Whatever you're doing, I want in."
The two boys whirled around to find Teddy Nott standing by his bed with a determined look on his face. Realising who it was, both of them relaxed. Out of all their year-mates, Teddy was the one they liked the best so far. They had actually been planning to bring up his possible involvement that very night. Harry broke the tense silence at last.
"Alright Teddy, you can come, as long as you understand that this is a pranksters board meeting to discuss a major prank. If you come, you'll have to help."
Harry's voice was the most serious Teddy had ever heard him; he drew in a shaky breath while he considered the best way to respond. Finally, he was ready.
"You are my friends, I know that you live and breathe pranks so I always knew I'd be dragged in eventually and to be honest I like that idea. You guys never go too far unless the person's a bully. I can already tell that much at least. I just want to be trusted fully by my friends, which seems to involve my willingness to help with mischief even if it's just by providing an alibi."
Once he'd finished his speech he was pounced on and introduced to the full concept of the groups' love of physical contact. He actually thought it was wonderful. Most pureblood children were brought up to be cold and heartless which left no room for affection. This was one of the things that had cemented Draco's loyalty to the group so quickly. These people easily provided the affection and comfort he'd never known but craved for years. With the hugging safely out of the way, the group finally set off for their meeting in the Room of Requirement. Due to their delay, they were the last to arrive. Upon entering, Harry immediately announced to the room,
"Teddy's kindly agreed to join our noble order of mischief. First order of business will be to choose his prankster name."
Noises of appreciation and acceptance were heard on all sides so the three boys sat down as Fred started the introductions.
"Ea at your service," He proclaimed with an elaborate bow, grinning madly the whole time. Teddy nodded politely while focusing on George,
"They call me Kincaid. Caid for short," He muttered, waving vaguely while yawning widely. Next came Neville and Draco, who seemed to have been practicing twin speak,
"This tall gentleman would be the indomitable Artek."
"While this tiny delicate thing is Gaothaire."
Teddy couldn't contain his laughter at that and he wasn't the only one. The whole table dissolved into giggles for several minutes before finishing with Harry,
"Tom's Raonull and I'm Dour. Do you have ideas for a name or should we choose?"
Teddy blushed under the suddenly focused attention and managed to get out a quiet, "Could you guys choose?"
Harry simply nodded before spinning in his chair to face Draco.
"Gaothaire, you're up! You've known him the longest."
Draco jumped at this before settling down with a thoughtful look on his face. Finally, he broke the silence by pronouncing triumphantly,
"Leal. It means loyal in ancient Saxon English. I think Teddy's like me and would have gone to Hufflepuff if it wasn't a practical death sentence to go anywhere other than Slytherin."
This sobered the mood even further. Everyone's faces taking on a decidedly grim look. It was Fred that spoke what the original group of five was thinking.
"Looks like we have another pureblood to free from their destructive family influence."
The other four nodded their agreement while the other two were left gaping. Draco hesitantly spoke up to say,
"I don't think my dad's that bad really. He definitely regrets the Dark Mark. It's Narcissa; she didn't escape the famous Black madness and runs the house as her own private tyrannical kingdom. I think she might even be cursing dad into obeying her wishes."
If possible, the atmosphere became even heavier. The other boys' expressions becoming murderous in their intensity.
"Mum'll be able to do something."
Tom stated with such confidence that everyone was instantly appeased. The mood finally lightened and moved on to happier, safer topics for a while until George clapped his hands together and announced,
"Okay! Who wants to put forward a name for joining our hallowed Order of Mischief? I would like to start off the proceedings by offering Fred and I's old friend Lee Jordan. He has helped our endeavours in the past and can be relied upon. He's in Gryffindor."
"As you know him so well and he has helped in the past, you can approach him," Harry decreed after everyone had nodded in his direction.
Tom offered a possibility next, "How about the Patil twins? We can always do with more twins as they can help create such chaos and confusion."
The two sets of twins present both grinned and instantly agreed to the brilliant suggestion. Everyone else followed along and soon enough Tom was given the job of talking to them. Hermione was briefly discussed and it was instantly accepted that it was their job to help their overeager little friend lose her hero worship of authority figures and join them in the world of pranking. Tom then turned to the Slytherins to jokingly enquire, "Are there any older Slytherins we could sway to our cause?"
He wasn't really expecting an answer to was surprised when Teddy nervously half whispered, "Actually, Adrian Pucey might be a good fit. He's the only member of the Quidditch team to play fair apparently. We can always ask."
Recovering quickly from their shock, the group hastily agreed to get Teddy to approach the older snake. Finally, it was time to hear the news on the potion from Fred and Harry. The two stood at the top of the table grinning like a pair of Cheshire Cats as Harry dramatically pulled a vial of a silvery green potion from his robes while Fred waved his arms around with a flourish while loudly proclaiming, "The finished potion! Tasteless, Odourless, and, once applied, colourless. One dose lasts one day, if continually ingested, the amount of time builds up and increases the potions potency."
The rest of the room's occupants broke into a round of applause with George and Tom going so far as to whoop in delight. Tom shouted over the din, "No time like the present! George! Check the map! Neville, teach Draco and Teddy the invisibility charm you and Fred came up with. Harry and Fred, go over the best way to apply the potion. We leave in ten minutes!"
The room descended into complete chaos for the next few minutes. Harry and Fred were ensconced in one corner, muttering to each other with their arms waving around wildly. George and Tom were at the table pouring over the map eagerly while Neville stood in front of Draco and Teddy, talking softly while the two boys listened intently. Once the ten minutes was up, the group gathered around the table, waiting for George to give out their orders. George was currently pacing in front of the group of fellow pranksters, looking more like a general about to address his troops than a troublemaker.
"Right," he snapped out, "Dumbledore is currently discussing something with McGonagall in her office. We will all perform the invisibility charm and silently make our way to Dumbledore's office. Once there, Teddy, Neville and Draco will wait out in the corridor to keep a look out and provide a distraction if needed. Meanwhile, Tom will be using his considerable power to trick the wards into ignoring the intruders and keep the portraits asleep. I will be guarding him while Harry and Fred enter the office and dose all the lemon drops with their potion. Got that?"
The Mischief makers all chorused out a, "Yes Sir!"
George nodded in satisfaction.
"Good. Now move out!" he barked before casting the invisibility spell.
This spell was different because the caster could choose to allow certain people to see them and not others. This would allow the pranksters to see each other for the mission without anyone else seeing them. It was a work of genius on the parts of Neville and Fred. Neville came up with the idea while Fred engineered it with Neville tweaking it slightly. Once everyone was invisible to outsiders, Harry cast a blanket silencing charm around them and the group moved out towards Dumbledore's office. Once there, the three lookouts spread out along the corridor while Tom and George stood back to back in front of the gargoyle. Tom then raised his arms to send out his magic into the wards, temporarily disabling them while another tendril wound around the portraits to keep them sound asleep. This done, he quickly whispered, "Go, go, go!"
Harry and Fred didn't need telling twice, with the gargoyle being pushed aside by Tom they raced up the spiral staircase and through the door at the top and into Dumbledore's inner sanctum. Knowing they didn't have long, they went straight for the dish of lemon drops on his desk. While Fred doused the lemon drops already out in the potion that swirled around them before sinking into the boiled sweets, Harry searched through the desk drawers. He struck gold when he discovered the unopened packets obviously there to refill the dish when the old coot ran out. He quickly pulled out a syringe specifically procured for this purpose and injecting a liberal amount of potion into each bag. Job complete, the grinning pair jogged back down the stairs and out past the sleeping gargoyle. As soon as they were clear, Tom released his grip on the portraits and wards and sagged back into George who immediately shifted down slightly so that Tom could climb onto his back. Mission now complete, the group split up to head back to their dorms. George stopping only long enough to pass Tom's tired body over to Neville. Soon enough, the pranksters were all safely tucked up in bed and fast asleep. Tomorrow would be an interesting day.
The next day started out depressingly normal, Dumbledore looking the same as ever during breakfast as he obviously was yet to eat a lemon drop. The pranksters were therefore on the edge of their seats until lunch when an obviously fuming Dumbledore interrupted the peace. The whole great hall gaped for a second before descending into helpless laughter. Even the teachers seemed to be struggling not to laugh at the sight Dumbledore made. The famous long silvery hair and beard were startling in their notable absence. Even his eyebrows were missing. That wasn't all though. Dumbledore's skin was now covered in sleek snake scales coloured a vibrant green while his eyes had been changed to a cloudy silver with slitted pupils. The group of seven responsible roared with laughter at the meddling old coot's predicament. Dumbledore looked apoplectic with rage, which just made the green of his scales darken even further. The group's day was made even better when Severus pulled Harry and Fred aside to ask for the antidote only to be cheerfully informed that they hadn't created one.
The best part of the whole prank was that although everyone knew that they were responsible, there was no way to prove it and nobody had any clue as to how they had administered the potion in the first place as Dumbledore's wards had never been triggered. This didn't stop Dumbledore from writing home to Paradox and Molly. Molly's response arrived first as she'd been informed by floo. The howler that arrived the next day was anticipated and immediately hit with a silencing charm before it could say a word. Meanwhile, Paradox finally received Dumbledore's letter.
Death had been having a rather boring but peaceful day before his sister came barrelling into the room and dove through the air to land on Death's stomach. Hard.
"OOF!" Death exclaimed as his breath left him in a rush.
Paradox however was too busy waving the letter she held in her hand around in paroxysms of delight to notice or care.
"They did it! They pranked Dumbledore! They actually did it! Can you believe it? My little babies pranked the lemon drop sucking madman!"
Death finally recovered enough to get out a breathy, "You doubted they would?"
"Oh of course not! Just not so soon and I miss them so much and this just made me so proud!" Paradox rambled on, showing no signs of shutting up any time soon.
Seeing this, Death seized her in a tight embrace while loudly drawling, "We'll just have to go see them then, won't we? I'll admit to being bored without them."
At this, Paradox let out an ear-splitting squeal while bouncing to her feet and dragging Death with her. She was almost incoherent with excitement by this point.
"Come on! It's after curfew and I can feel them meeting somewhere."
"Alright, alright! I'm coming!" Death groaned with a put upon sigh.
And with that, they vanished.
When they reappeared, they were standing in the middle of the Room of Requirement during an Order of Mischief congratulatory meeting. Upon spotting the two adults, Tom and Harry launched themselves across the room, one for Death and one for Paradox with shouts of,
"Mum!" and "Uncle Death!"
Fred, George and Neville watched on with bemused amusement while Draco and Teddy gaped in shock at these two people apparating into Hogwarts. Eventually, the family separated and settled into the provided chairs. Harry spoke first as usual, "Mum! Can we tell our friends the whole truth like you told Severus and Sirius?"
Paradox smiled indulgently down at the two sets of pleading green eyes as her heart melted.
"Alright, you can tell these ones, everyone else gets the edited version."
At this, she received another two hugs from her exuberant boys. Then she turned to face the other children in the room.
"You can't tell anyone this, while I talk, my brother will be building strong enough occlumency shields in your minds to protect this from everyone."
At her obviously deadly serious tone, the group of children nodded their assent. At this, Paradox grinned before launching into her story.
"Me and my brother are, in reality, gods. Our true names being Paradox and Death. My brother's jurisdiction is obvious while mine is impossibilities, time travel (including paradoxes of course) and chaos. Neither of us is particularly liked by our fellow gods so I habitually make trips down to earth to fix things or just interfere and Death always comes with me. I rescued Harry and Tom as soon as I could from the fate previously mapped out for them. If I hadn't done something, Tom would have grown up in an orphanage and become Lord Voldemort while Harry would have lived in an abusive home and been manipulated by Dumbledore into becoming a martyr. I couldn't let that happen. Also, if I hadn't stepped in, Neville's parents would have been tortured into insanity and Barty would have gone to Azkaban along with Sirius."
The group of young people sat in stunned silence for several minutes until George piped up, "That explains so much."
This effectively broke the tension and the whole group laughed before Neville raced over to Paradox and tackled her into a bone-crushing embrace, "Thank you. Thank you for saving them."
His voice sounded suspiciously choked from tears but Paradox ignored that and held him close until he regained his composure and returned to his seat where he was immediately pulled into a hug from Draco. Draco then turned to Paradox while timidly asking,
"Um… Is there any way you could help my dad and I escape Narcissa and Teddy escape his whole family? We need to get away from them. Narcissa's been threatening and attacking dad for years and I don't want the future she has set out for me. She's unstable and changes her mind every hour."
Paradox nodded slowly, a thoughtful look stealing over her face,
"For you, it would be a simple matter of talking to your father then getting Sirius to dissolve the marriage while Lucius claims you his heir and then have Sirius cast Narcissa out of the Black family. Teddy will be trickier but I'll think of something."
Death interrupted suddenly, "Leave Teddy's case to me, I'll adopt him myself if I have to."
It was Teddy and Draco's turn to shoot across the room to hug one of the Wild-Black twins. Death and Paradox laughed at this and settled down to spend the night catching up with their mischief-makers.
Life was good.
There you go! Hope you liked it. Oh, and to answer someone's question about Flitwick recognising Paradox and Death for what they are, if they do ever meet, Flitwick will be able to tell that they're different and powerful due to his Goblin heritage but not exactly what they are