I'm back! I've been having to re-write my dissertation which is why things have been so bitty lately but it's been handed in so it's all over! Yay! It's on Achilles from Greek mythology in case you were wondering. I was having to read The Iliad for it …shudders…. And one of my favourite books, The Moon Riders! You should all go read it.

Someone recently commented about how they wanted me to expand into different worlds/adventures with Paradox. Good news guys, I already have about three ideas about this. Now, let me know what you want me to cover first;

The Jack Sparrow Incident

The Hobbit Debacle

Or…

The Chase for Hannibal Lecter.

And now, the moment I've been waiting for with this story… Diana's backstory revealed!

Paradox was ready to punch something. Sirius had reverted to being a toddler and was whining about having to help 'that ponce, Malfoy'. Paradox had hoped he'd grown past this sort of behaviour, but apparently not. Maybe it was just Malfoy that caused him to revert to his old ways? She could dream. Either way, they were expected at Malfoy manor in ten minutes and Sirius was still sulking and Paradox had reached her limit.

"Sirius," She growled out, her power leaching into her voice enough to get Sirius to shut up and sit up, "Draco is Harry's friend and has asked for our help. Do you really want both me and the twins angry with you over this? I am basically the goddess of pranks, you don't want me as your enemy."

Sirius gulped, finally realising that he'd managed to push a god too far and he was in serious trouble. He hurriedly nodded his head as he leapt to his feet and straightened out his robes.

Paradox smirked victoriously and almost purred her next words, "Good. Now, into the floo before I lose all patience with your childish tantrums."

Sirius almost ran over to the fire before throwing the powder into the grate and stepping in with a shout of, "Malfoy Manor!"

No sooner had he arrived than Paradox had appeared behind him looking spotlessly elegant in her flowing burgundy dress and black cloak. Sirius had almost fainted when he first saw the twins playing the perfect purebloods that they absolutely weren't. It was bloody terrifying!

Almost before he could collect himself and pull up his own masks, the two Malfoys were sweeping towards them, their own cool masks firmly planted on their faces. Greetings were exchanged before Sirius informed Narcissa that he had Black family business to discuss with her and the party split with Paradox following Lucius into the drawing room and being offered tea. The moment they were both sitting, she dropped all masks, lent forward and informed the poor man, "Draco asked us to interfere. Sirius is just about to dissolve your marriage to Narcissa before casting her out of the Black family swiftly. Afterwards he'll be acknowledging Draco as both a Malfoy and a Black. You will need to be ready to claim Draco as your heir as soon as Sirius reappears."

Lucius was left in a state of complete shock. This woman was sitting here, telling him that he would soon be free from the vicious harpy he'd been bound to for so long. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It was all too much to believe. Paradox saw this and kept talking to allow him time to recover, voice calm and reassuring.

"My twins, Harry and Tom, befriended Draco and he already means a lot to them both, particularly Harry as they share a house. I visited them all at the school recently and was asked by Harry to rescue not only Draco, but also their mutual friend Teddy Nott. I go by the philosophy that any close friend of my sons is family to me and are to be protected in any way possible."

This last statement seemed to be the tipping point and the tears came, mortifying Lucius. He was crying in front of a practical stranger! This wasn't how he should be acting but he just couldn't stop. This woman had basically just claimed him as family. True family. The next thing he knew, she was beside him and holding him close while he rocked slightly. Not knowing what else to do, he lent into the comfort she was offering and sobbed freely for the first time in years.

On her part, Paradox was in a state of shock. She'd expected Lucius to be a proud, stuck up pureblood she could mess with, the only reason she was going to save him being because Draco asked. Now she found herself comforting a clearly emotionally overloaded man who needed her and she felt her saving people thing kicking in with a vengeance. Lucius was now hers to protect and care for and no one would be allowed to hurt him ever again.

Almost in answer to her thoughts, Sirius walked in, Narcissa in the doorway. Before anyone had time to think, Narcissa had flown forward, screaming manically, wand pointed at her ex-husband, "How dare you! I'll kill you for this! You can't just get rid of me like that! I created who you are today!"

Sirius backed hurriedly away from the brewing storm. He knew the look on Paradox's face as the one she got when she found someone else to save. And he had to admit, that seeing Malfoy so undone and frightened was affecting him almost as much. Meanwhile, Paradox was furious, this… bitch was about to hurt her Lucius. That would never happen.

With movements similar to those of a shark, she shot forwards and sent Narcissa Nobody flying with a well-placed punch before wandlessly throwing a stunner at the crumpled figure. The threat dealt with, she stalked back over to Lucius who was clearly going into shock and was shaking badly. Upon reaching him, she dropped to her knees and cradled his face in her hands,

"Lucy? Luc? You're coming to live with me and my brother for a while until I think you're fully recovered. Come on, snap out of it. She can't hurt you anymore."

Eventually, Lucius shook off his shock and fear and focused on the woman in front of him and whispered out, "What did you just call me?"

This startled a laugh from Paradox, "Lucy. I give everyone in the family nicknames. I call Severus 'Sevvy'."

Lucius grinned wryly before croaking, "I bet he just loves that."

Sirius and Paradox both laughed at that. Paradox's eyes were sparkling like mad as she answered, "Oh you have no idea. Especially when Harry and Tom started calling him it."

Suddenly she snapped back to being deadly serious upon catching sight of Narcissa's motionless form.

"Sirius," She barked out, "Call the Aurors and explain what happened. I'm getting Lucy out of here."

Before Sirius could respond, she'd helped Lucius to his feet and had swept out of the room and towards the floo. Sirius sighed. That was so like her. Give her someone needing her help and protection and she became a dictator. It was ridiculously adorable. Sighing and shaking his thoughts off, he moved towards the floo. Today was going to be a very long day…

Meanwhile, Paradox was helping Lucius into a chair in her cosy little sitting room with the mismatched squashy armchairs and sofa, patchwork carpet, bookshelves and a roaring fire. As soon as he was seated, she summoned a mound of blankets that Lucius soon found himself buried under with a mug of steaming hot chocolate pressed into his hands.

"Now, you will stay right there and drink every drop while I sort out sleeping arrangements," Paradox said, voice laced with concern before turning and shouting up the stairs, "Brother dearest! Get your butt down here!"

That done, she whirled around and smiled sweetly at a stunned Lucius while crashes and swearing was heard from upstairs before a very bedraggled looking Death appeared, Glaring at his twin.

"What?" He snarled, "I was sleeping! In case you've forgotten, we were up late last night planning my rescue of Teddy."

Paradox's smile only got wider in the face of her twin's foul mood.

"Aw, my poor baby," She cooed, patting his cheek, "Did the little one not get enough sleepybys?"

Death's glare increased to homicidal levels before he gave up and collapsed into the nearest chair. Rubbing his face tiredly, he sighed out, "So what did you want?"

He'd already settled into looking resigned to whatever mischief Paradox was up to this time.

"Oh, it's quite simple." Paradox chirped, looking far too happy for Death's peace of mind. He knew she was up to something he wouldn't like. This was confirmed in the next few sentences.

"Narcissa tried to kill Lucy here after the disillusionment of their marriage so he's staying here. Now, we don't have time today to expand enough to add another room. Barty's still living here, so that only leaves my room, yours and the twins' room. So, just for tonight, I'd like you to move into the twins' room."

Paradox finished, beaming down at her clearly unimpressed brother.

"You want me to stay in the twins' room?" Death finally hissed out.

"Yep," Paradox sang out, bobbing her head cheerfully.

"Are you insane?!" Death yelped, struggling to his feet, "Do you know how many booby traps and failed experiments are in that room? It's a death trap!"

Death honestly seemed frightened while Paradox remained unbothered.

"You'll fit right in then, won't you? Now, off you go, I need to care for our guest."

"Rrrnugha!" Death half growled, half yelled, before stomping back up the stairs to sulk.

Completely ignoring this, Paradox span back around to face Lucius grinning madly.

"Make yourself at home while I make a start on some lunch. Just ask if you need anything," She bubbled hyperactively before bouncing from the room. Lucius could only lean back in his chair and sip his hot chocolate in a daze. This woman had just waltzed in, saved him from his miserable excuse for a marriage and was now caring for him in a way no had before in his life. He got the distinct impression that he'd just walked into a madhouse, but at that moment he couldn't care less. For the first time in decades, Lucius Malfoy was truly happy. And it was all thanks to the strange woman he could hear singing in the kitchen.

"No, no, no. Narcissa Nobody was the one who attacked Lord Malfoy. Her ex-husband. My cousin defended him. Get it through your thick skull," Sirius shouted at the incompetent imbecile masquerading as an Auror.

He was seriously losing his patience when the fire flared green and Amelia Bones immerged from the grate. Sirius sagged in relief, "Amelia, thank goodness. I was about to strangle this idiot."

The stern woman's mouth twitched minutely as she gestured for the Auror to leave before returning her full attention to Sirius.

"Explain what happened here, Lord Black," Amelia barked out, her professional, no nonsense voice sounding like music to Sirius' ears. Drawing himself up, Sirius easily slipped into his pureblood persona as he replied, voice cool and elegant.

"I arrived here with my cousin Pandora Wild-Black on official House business. Heir Malfoy had informed us that Narcissa Nobody was abusing her position as Lady Malfoy and making life a living hell for her husband. I questioned Narcissa while invoking the Black Family magical truth clauses. I discovered that Narcissa had been effectively abusing her husband for years, even using the Unforgivables on him. That is actually how he came to bear the Dark Mark, a mixture of spells placed by both Narcissa and the previous Lord Malfoy."

Sirius had to take a moment to compose himself at this point and even Madam Bones was clearly appalled. This had been going on under all their noses.

Pulling himself together, Sirius continued, voice quiet, "After hearing this, I wasted no time in dissolving the marriage, being careful to declare Draco as a member of both House Black and House Malfoy before casting Narcissa out of the family. Upon returning to the drawing room where we'd left Ms Wild-Black and Lord Malfoy it was clear that Pandora had explained our reasons for coming here and it had been too much for Lord Malfoy as he was in tears being comforted by my cousin. Narcissa saw this and flew forwards screaming insults and had her wand directed at Lord Malfoy. Pandora became enraged and incapacitated Narcissa before returning to her home with Lord Malfoy to give him time to recover."

At the end of his speech, Amelia could only nod her acceptance as she was too stunned to do much else. Lord Malfoy had been forced to do so many things by this woman who had clearly been unable to escape the madness that had affected her sister so badly. She felt it was a mark against her abilities as Head of Magical Law Enforcement that she hadn't seen what was wrong sooner. Eventually, she found her voice but it was still shaky with suppressed emotion, "Where can I find Ms Wild-Black? I will need to question Lord Malfoy as soon as possible."

Sirius barked out a laugh at that, eyes sparkling with suppressed mirth, "I doubt you'll manage that before tomorrow," he choked out, still laughing.

"And why is that?" Amelia questioned, lips pursed in annoyance.

Sirius sobered slightly upon realising this, but his voice was still strained with suppressed mirth, "Simple. Pandora has taken Lucius in as one of her strange, muddled family and will now act like a mother bear in defence of what's best for him. Lucius will be mothered to within an inch of his life before she's content to let anyone question him."

Amelia grimaced at that. She had come across the female Wild-Black before and she could easily picture what Sirius was describing and she highly doubted that she could win against Pandora while she was in that mood. Oh well, at least Lord Malfoy would be well cared for. With that in mind, she ordered her Aurors to leave and put Narcissa Nobody in the holding cells while they gathered evidence for a trial before the Wizengamot. It was going to be a very long day, she could feel it.

Soon only Sirius was left, before he too stepped into the grate. He had a werewolf waiting to hear about everything that had happened. He had an awful lot more to tell than he thought he would. Maybe he would even end up liking the ponce! Anything was possible with Paradox around.

And with that, another member was added to Paradox's patchwork family.

Yay! It's all done! What did you think? Oh, and anyone who likes this should have a look at 'An Intervention Occurs' as Paradox and Death actually make an appearance in that too.