I slowly open my eyes and I'm instantly confused when I don't see the ceiling of my apartment. It felt like I had only just closed my eyes. I try to move my head to the side to see where I am but find I can't move it at all. I move my eyes to the side and see that my head is strapped in to a head brace. A face appears directly above me and it takes me a while to realise that it's the paramedic from before.
"Hello Ana, welcome back." She says as she proceeds to shine a torch over my eyes. "How are you feeling." She asks.
"Okay, I think." I answer though I'm feeling very confused. I don't remember getting up from my apartment floor and now I don't even know where I am.
"Good, that's good. We're still in the ambulance at the moment, we're about five minutes away from the hospital." She says as though she can read my mind. Though being a paramedic she probably has a lot of experience with people passing out and waking up confused. She moves out of my line of sight and I can only guess that she's taken a seat beside me. As I lay there staring at the roof of the ambulance I'm suddenly aware that someone is holding my hand, not just holding it grasping on to it as though I might disappear somehow. At first I think it's the paramedic holding my hand but quickly dismiss that idea as the person holding my hand isn't wearing any gloves. The only other person it could be is Christian though I didn't think he'd want to ride in the ambulance with me.
"Christian?" I say his name as a question unsure of what else to say.
"Yea Ana, I'm here," he answers and squeezes my hand as though to emphasise that point. I really don't know what I'm suppose to say so I remain silent hoping that the fact that I'm in pain is a good excuse for my silence.
As I arrive at the hospital I'm wheeled straight through to a trauma room where I am poked, prodded and examined before being told there's nothing wrong with my neck or back and I can finally remove the ridiculous head brace and have my bed propped up, it's a relief to be able to look around the room and not have to stare at the ceiling any longer. They have confirmed my shoulder is dislocated and I am currently waiting for a doctor to come in to pop it back into place, in the meantime I have been allowed to have a small cocktail of painkillers which have left me feeling slightly hazy. Christian is currently sat at my bedside tapping away on his blackberry. He has refused to leave the room since we arrived.
"You don't have to stay you know." His head snaps up and his eyes meet mine as I say this. "I don't want to be keeping you from anything" I say as I glance down at his phone before looking back at him.
"I know I don't have to stay." He replies as he slides his phone into his jacket pocket. "I want to be here. And don't worry you're not keeping me from anything important, nothing is more important than making sure you're safe." I smile at his response before shaking my head to try an remove the haze the painkillers are causing.
"Why do you say stuff like that, you know it's very confusing to know where I stand with you when your all kind and caring not too long after revealing you hate my guts." I rush out, feeling slightly confident with the high the painkillers are causing.
"Ana, I don't hate you, why…" Before he can finish his sentence the door swings open and in walks an older man.
"Hello Mrs Grey, I'm the orthopaedist on call this evening, I'm Dr Fielding. How are you doing so far, have you been given any thing for the pain?" He asks whilst holding what I assume are my X-Ray's up to the light.
"It's Ana please, and yes I've been given some very good painkillers." I reply with a smile.
"Excellent, well from looking at your X-rays I can see it's a straight forward dislocation and hopefully shouldn't take to much manipulating before it pops into place. After that we'll X-ray it again to make sure it's in place and all being well you should be on your way home in no time. Do you have any questions for me?" I shake my head in answer. I know how this goes from previous experience although last time it wasn't done by a doctor and I had zero pain relief, this should be a breeze compared to last time.
"Right, now I'm going to need you to sit up nice and straight for me." I sit forward and try to ignore the wave of nausea that sitting up caused and try and focus on what the doctors doing. He starts to undo the support strap that's holding my arm to my chest before bringing my arm to rest at my side. "You're more than welcome to hold your husbands hand while I do this." He says whilst looking between me and Christian.
"Oh, that's…" I start to say that it's okay and he doesn't need to hold my hand but Christian is already at my side holding my right hand between his two.
"Don't worry about squeezing to hard." He says with a grin on his face. I return his smile and find myself gripping onto his hand as the doctor starts to move my arm in circles. He brings my arm round and as it reaches out just in front of me I feel my arm pop back into the shoulder joint. The pain of the joint popping back into place causes me to turn towards Christian and bury my face into his chest whilst gripping his hand with all I have. Eventually the pain starts to subside and as I start to relax a bit more I find myself sagging into Christian more and more. I stupidly inhale his scent and feel a pang in my chest as I smell his familiar scent, he smells like Christian and expensive body wash. At some point one of Christian's hands has found its way to the back of my head and his fingers are woven into my hair as though he's holding me in place.
"Okay, well this looks good so far, I'll get a nurse to come and put a sling on and I'll see you again when you've been for your other X-ray." I bring my head up and away from Christian's chest and his hand drops from the back of my head. I lean back on the bed and rest my head on the pillows closing my eyes. I suddenly feel exhausted, as though the day's events have just caught up. I open my eyes and look over at Christian, he's still standing beside my bed holding my hand. He's staring straight ahead looking at nothing in particular on the wall. I give his hand a small squeeze and his eyes snap over to mine.
"Thanks. For being here." I say and he smiles down at me but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.
"It's my pleasure Ana." He says with that same sad smile as he squeezes my hand in response. The nurse chooses that moment to walk in, smiling at the both of us before walking towards me with a sling in her hand. Christian gives my hand one last squeeze before going to sit in the chair beside my bed. The nurse places the sling over my head and settles my arm inside, she then adjusts the straps making sure my arm rests comfortably inside it.
"Okay Mrs Grey I'm just going to get a wheelchair and then I'll take you down to X-ray." I nod in acknowledgement and she rushes out the room. I'm guessing that now I don't have suspected neck and back injuries I don't get the perks of having to use the portable X-ray. The nurse comes back into the room and places the wheelchair at the foot of the bed. She starts to make her way round to me but Christian beats her to it and before I can register what's happening he's picking me up bridal style and placing me in the wheelchair with such ease and gentleness that had I not had my eyes open I wouldn't even know I'd moved. I let out a giggle as he goes to straighten up.
"I could have gotten myself in the chair you know?" I say as I look up at him. He looks down at me with a genuine smile on his face and I get the feeling he feels better feeling useful for something. The nurse starts to push me out the room and Christian goes to follow.
"Mr Grey there's really no need for you to come, you can wait here. Mrs Grey shouldn't be too long." I can see his face drop and I know the last thing he wants to be doing is sitting here feeling useless yet again. I instantly have an idea that I know will keep him busy.
"Hey." I say looking up at him. I wait for him to stop giving the poor nurse a death glare before I continue. "I'm feeling rather hungry, I haven't eaten since this morning and it must be getting late, do you think you could find out if I'm allowed to eat anything when I get back from X-ray." I look at him with sad pleading eyes hoping that he'll buy it. The truth is I'm not really hungry, whatever pain medication they have me on is causing my stomach to do summersaults. Christian looks down at me and a crease forms between his eyebrows.
"Why didn't you tell me you were hungry before, I would have gotten you something to eat." I shrug my good shoulder in answer. "I'll go and speak with a nurse and see what I can get you." He says and he walks past us like a man on a mission.
"Right lets get you down to X-ray Mrs Grey." The nurse says politely, I had forgotten she was standing there for a moment.
As the nurse pushes me back into the room I'm currently occupying my mouth falls open at the sight that greets me.
"I take it I'm allowed to eat then." I say in a half laugh causing Christian to look up from his phone. I look over to the bed where what can only be described as a feast is laid out. There are a bunch of food containers set out on two of the portable tables normally found in hospital rooms plus more food on a small silver tray normally used for medical equipment.
"Hey." Christian says as he pockets his phone and starts to make his way over to me. He leans down and once again picks me up and walks over to the bed before placing me on the side of the bed. I decide against climbing into the bed properly and just settle on leaving my feet dangling over the side, the bed is set high up that my feet don't reach the floor. "So the doctor said you're okay to eat tonight. Regardless of what comes back on your X-rays you won't be having surgery tonight." I feel a lead weight drop in the pit of my stomach as he finishes talking.
"Surgery?" I question, my voice wavering slightly. "I need to have surgery? But the doctor said I could go home, he never mentioned surgery." I'm starting to panic. I can't afford to have surgery, I don't have insurance or the money to cover that, hell I can't even pay for the two X-rays I just had.
"Hey it's ok, calm down." Christian says stepping closer to me. "There's a good chance you won't need surgery, the doctor just said that sometimes when a shoulder is dislocated, the tissue in the joint can become damaged and if it's not repaired the joint could just keep dislocating."
"Okay, that's okay I guess." I say looking down at my feet, I come to the conclusion that if it's not an urgent surgery I can always refuse to have it done. My stomach decides to choose this one and only time that it's been silent to make its self heard, I'm sure it can smell the delicious aroma that is currently cancelling out the usual hospital smell. I wrap my good arm around my stomach as if that will some how mute the sound of the rumbling, and look up at Christian with a grin on my face. Christian wheels one of the tables in front of me and unwraps a set of cutlery.
"I wasn't sure what you'd want to eat so I got a bit of everything." Christian says as he takes a seat in the chair.
"I can see that."I say whilst lifting the lid on one of the containers in front of me. Inside I find a large amount of pasta in a creamy white sauce. The smell that erupts along with the steam is mouthwatering. "You know I would have been okay with a sandwich from the cafeteria." I say looking at him with a look I hope says I appreciate this but it's a bit much.
"I know you would have but this isn't just for you, I haven't eaten today either." He remarks as he pulls one of the tables towards him as if to make a point. "And don't worry about wasting any, I saw a few nurses eyeing the food containers on the way in, I'm sure they'd be happy to take any leftovers off our hands." He smiles at me as he says this.
"Where did all this come from anyway?" I ask just before I place some pasta in my mouth. The taste is heavenly, the sauce taste like mushroom with a hint of garlic and I'm sure a bit of white wine. Christian takes this as his cue to begin eating his food as he starts to open some of the containers as he answers.
"I sent Taylor across the street to an Italian restaurant, I'm not particularly keen on hospital food."
"Huh, I didn't even know Taylor was here." I say before delving back into the pasta.
An hour and three containers of food later I am stuffed and exhausted. Christian has moved the table of food to the foot of the bed and I am now lay back down resting my head on the pillows. Whilst we were eating Christian filled me in on what's been happening at my apartment. Shortly after we left in the ambulance the police arrived to take statements. Taylor stayed behind to tell them briefly what had happened. They apparently checked the apartment but found nothing incriminating and said they would need a statement from me but the likely hood of catching the guy are pretty slim. I can't say this shocks me, the area I live in the police are too concerned with petty crimes like burglary, the likelihood is it was just a junkie looking for something to sell to buy his next fix. I tell Christian everything that happened, from coming home to find my door open to finding the man in the bedroom. I tell him how stupid I feel for forgetting to check that my door was locked but he tells me that's not important, the worse thing I did was go into the apartment and further still remain in the apartment after I'd realised someone had been in there. I try to argue that I had listened and it sounded like the apartment was empty, even when I was stood in the living room I couldn't hear him moving around the bedroom. He tells me I should have rang the police and waited. I don't bother to try and tell him that I would have been waiting all night for the police to arrive for a suspected burglary in my neighbourhood. Instead I just nod and tell him that I'll do that if it ever happens again. We fell into silence after that which is why I decided to lay back on the bed. It feel like a lifetime has passed before the doctor walks into the room.
"Hello again Mrs Grey, hows the pain?" He asks looking over to my shoulder.
"Nothing more than a dull ache." I answer as I sit forward in the bed. I wouldn't necessarily say it was a dull ache but it's not the worst pain I've felt and at the moment I'll say anything if it'll get me out of the hospital quicker.
"Good, that good. Now I'm happy to say your X-rays look fine, there's some minor swelling around the joint but that's to be expected after this type of injury. Now I'd like you to keep your arm rested in the sling for two to three weeks, avoid using your arm as much as possible in this time to allow the soft tissue around the joint to heal. I'll be sending you home with a leaflet with some exercises on that I'd like you to start doing after three weeks, these exercises are important to help relieve muscle stiffness and strengthen the joint. For pain relief I recommend paracetamol and ibuprofen, also an ice pack applied for about ten minutes tends to take the edge off. Okay that's about it, do you have any questions for me." I shake my head, it all seems pretty much straight forward, don't use the arm and it will get better. "Ok I'll go and get your discharge papers and we can get you on your way." He turns and leaves the room, from the corner of my eye I see Christian stand from his chair.
"I'll be back in a moment." He says without looking at me and walks out the room closing the door behind him. I try to see where he's going but he disappears down the corridor and out of sight. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit and wait for either Christian or the doctor to come back. It's Christian who arrives back first pushing a wheelchair with a playful grin on his face. "Ok that's the paperwork sorted, apparently hospital policy states that you have to leave the hospital in a wheelchair so I kindly offered to push you out."
"No." I say "No way, you just made that up. There's no way I'm letting you push me out of here in that." I look over at the wheelchair in disgust.
"It's hospital policy Ana, plus with the strength of those painkillers you've been given I doubt you're fit to walk."
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm fine." I say and as to prove my point I jump down off the bed. As soon as my feet hit the floor I realise what a bad idea that was, not only does pain shoot through my shoulder but I instantly get a major head rush from moving too fast. I sway on the spot and Christian reaches out to grab me, I clasp on to his arm tight and shut my eyes as I wait for the room to stop spinning.
"Ana are you ok?" I want to nod my head but I'm afraid it will set the dizziness off again.
"Yeah," I whisper. "Just a bit of head rush, I've been sat down to long." I slowly open my eyes and look up to see Christians staring at me with a look of worry on his face, I offer him a small smile to show that I'm okay and he instantly returns it.
"So, do you still want to walk out of the hospital then?" He says condescendingly as he reaches over and grabs my coat from the back of the chair.
"Have I not been humiliated enough for one day?" I ask him as I put my one good arm in my coat and let Christian loosely drape the other side over my shoulder.
"Apparently not, now sit." He nods in the direction of the wheelchair whilst he shrugs his own coat on. I begrudgingly lower myself carefully into the chair. I watch as Christian glances round the room making sure he hasn't forgotten anything. "Right that's everything," he says as he comes to stand behind the chair. "Let's go."
"Wait." I shout out. "I haven't signed my discharge papers."
"Don't worry I took care of it, it's all sorted, you're good to go." I try to turn round and face him but I can't rotate enough in the chair to see his face.
"What do you mean you took care of it, what about my aftercare leaflets and what about the costs? Christian I haven't even told them my address."
"Taylor has all the paperwork including your aftercare leaflets, he's waiting for us in the car."
"But what.."
"Come on, we can't keep Taylor waiting, he's parked in the drop off zone." He says whilst pushing me through the doorway and into the hallway, effectively ending the conversation.
After Christian has helped me get into the car and fastened my seatbelt we finally pull out of the hospital grounds. I instantly feel relieved, I can't stand hospitals, everything from the smell to the overly cheerful nurses makes my skin crawl. I stare out the window and watch the scenery go by, it's only when we pull onto a freeway that I realise we're going in the wrong direction to my apartment.
"Christian, where are we going? My apartments back that way." I say looking over at him, he meets my gaze and his expression is neutral.
"You're not going back to your apartment Anastasia." I stare at him waiting for him to offer some form of explanation but he just continues to stare me down.
"And why may I ask am I not going back to my apartment." I say putting emphasis on the my.
"Ana your apartment was just burgled, you were attacked in your own home, it's not safe for you to go back there, plus it's a crime scene now, you have to wait for the police to finish their investigation."
"Bullshit!" I exclaim. "You told me back at the hospital that there was nothing more the police could do."
"It's not safe for you to go back there Ana, why can't you grasp that."
"Oh don't be so dramatic, homes get broken into everyday in even the nicest of neighbourhoods. I'm fine and it's fine for me to go back to my apartment."
"What if he had had a gun, Anastasia or a knife." I watch as his eyes cloud with horror as he pictures all the different outcomes that could have happened. "What if after he'd knocked you down he didn't just leave the apartment but came back to take advantage of the defenceless woman lying on the floor." His voice shakes and he turns away from me to stare out of his window.
"Christian." I start to reach out to touch him but think better of it, I'm not sure what to say to him at the moment.
"I can't let you go back there Ana, I just, do you know what it was like to walk into your apartment and see you like that, I thought you were dead, I thought I'd lost you again, and I can't lose you, I just found you, I can't lose you again." He looks over at me and there are tears streaming down his face. My heart breaks at the sight of him and all I want to do is to stop his pain. I undo my seatbelt and slide closer to him. I reach up and touch the side of his face and rub some of his tears away with my thumb. He closes his eyes and presses his face into my hand.
"Christian it's okay, I'm right here, you're not gunna lose me." He reaches up and gently places his hand over my hand. "Hey look at me." I demand, he's eyes shoot open and he searches my face. "I'm fine Christian, I'm right here." I say as I look into his eyes, he lets go of my hand and leans forwards pulling me into a hug, burying his face into my neck. I feel his body heaving with quiet sobs. I hadn't even stopped to think about what this must have been like for him, he hid it so well in the hospital that I thought he was fine. It must have been terrifying to walk into my apartment to find it ransacked and find me passed out on the floor. After his body has stopped shaking with sobs he pulls back to look at me.
"Come and stay with me, whilst your shoulder is healing. I can take care of you Ana."
"Christian I."
"Please Ana, you can't stay on your own with your shoulder like that, I can look after you, just until you're better, please Ana say yes." He pleads. I can list a million reasons why it would be a bad idea to go and stay with Christian but against my better judgement I find my self nodding in answer to his question.