SONYA'S BACK! I'll leave it at that! Enjoy :-)

43. Blue House, Blue Eyes

(Sonya POV)

If what I'd seen through Mikhail's eyes was true, the convicted murderer Rose Hathaway and some hulking Guardian named Dimitri were coming to find me.

Crap.

I'd killed a couple of Guardians before but that was a long time ago and I was seriously out of practice. Ever since I'd stopped running from the memories of Mikhail I'd made an effort to settle down – I hardly needed to leave the house now I had a regular human feeder, and most of my time was spent reading and drawing in the day and tending to my gardens at night. Apart from poor Annie, my last kill was three months ago and I was worried I might have become too rusty to take on a pair of fully trained Guardians at once.

A tiny part of me considered giving myself up – I'd never wanted this life in the first place and a quick stake to the heart seemed like a better way to go than watching my own skin melt off as I fried in the sun – but that was the old me talking. Moments later my Strigoi instincts kicked in and I realised I wasn't ready to die yet. I'd worked hard to set this life up for myself and I wasn't hurting anybody (well anybody that mattered). Nobody had the right to take what was mine away from me.

My eyes flicked over to check the clock on the wall. The journey from Court to Paris would take at least seven hours but as far as I knew Rose and Dimitri had no idea where I was staying. Donovan and his cronies at the tattoo parlour were the only people who knew where I lived, and if Misha hadn't managed to find me in over two years I figured I was pretty safe staying put. Even so, I decided it might be best not to go hunting for a new feeder tonight just as a precaution – better to be safe than sorry.

After a few days passed uneventfully I began to relax again. I took the chance to dispose of Annie's body then accidentally fell off the wagon again, draining a pair of college boys who'd slowed their car down to shout something rude at me as I walked down the main street of town – at least they wouldn't be bothering any other women in the future. I headed home feeling pleased with myself for performing a vital community service, and was so full from my frat-boy feast that I could barely bend over to water the plants in my garden. When the first hint of dawn played on the eastern horizon I went inside, settling into a comfy armchair and reaching for my copy of Wuthering Heights.

It was around midday and I'd nearly finished my book when I thought I smelt something familiar. Seconds later there was a soft thud and I realised I wasn't alone. Springing up from my chair, I ranged through the house and discovered that a pair of intruders were closing in from the backyard. There were two of them – definitely Dhampirs, one male and one female.

Damnit. I didn't have any desire to hurt Rose, but seeing as she was here to kill me I had no qualms about snapping her pretty neck.

The patio door suddenly exploded into a million tiny shards and I dropped to a crouch in the darkest corner of the living-room, shielding my eyes as the block-out curtains parted and a blinding shaft of light spilled across the floor. Seconds later Rose and Dimitri stepped into the room and I knew I had to make my move before they got the upper hand. I lunged at the bigger threat first, snarling menacingly as the massive Dhampir dodged my attack and swung around to strike me in the shoulder with something long and heavy.

I can't believe the big bastard just hit me with my own shovel!

I screeched angrily in reply, taking a moment to analyse my opponent's strengths and weaknesses. Sure he was big, but I was stronger and without a stake he had no chance of defeating me.

Wait a second. I suddenly felt confused and annoyed. There's a stake sticking out of his belt – why the fuck did he just hit me with a shovel?

In that split-second of hesitation I'd forgotten that there was another threat in the room, barely registering a flurry of movement off to my left before Rose charged at me. Acting on instinct, I swiftly blocked her attack and threw her to the floor. Nice try, kid, I thought, returning my attention back to the giant.

Dimitri flashed a glance across to check that Rose was alright and that's when I saw my chance. Feinting left to put him off-guard, I swooped around from the right and knocked the shovel from his hands, gripping him tightly by the throat and pinning him against the wall.

That wasn't too hard, I congratulated myself as the man struggled to prise my fingers from around his neck. I'll just finish this guy off and then I can deal with the little feisty one.

A searing pain burst through my right shoulder and I screamed out in anger and shock – Rose's silver stake was biting into my skin and I had to remove it immediately. Releasing Dimitri momentarily to dislodge the weapon, I lashed out blindly at my other attacker, pushing Rose away with such force that she stumbled backwards and cracked her head against the edge of my coffee table.

Stupid move, Sonya, I realised through the haze of pain as Dimitri leapt into action and smashed me to the ground, pinning me down with his knees and pressing Rose's stake against my throat.

'Get Sydney,' he grunted breathlessly as I flailed against his grasp, his words nearly drowned out by my strangled screams as the point of the stake sent fresh waves of pain through my entire body. 'The chain…'

Rose disappeared briefly then returned with another woman, and I spat at the newcomer as she drew nearer and I saw the golden lily tattooed on her cheek.

So they brought an Alchemist to do their dirty work for them – that's just cheating. I didn't know exactly what this Sydney woman planned to do to me, but from all the stories I'd heard about her kind, it wasn't going to be pleasant. I put new energy into my fight, bucking wildly to free myself as they shifted me onto the armchair. The silver stake never left my throat as Dimitri pinned my arms to my sides and Rose set to work binding me to the chair with a length of industrial strength chain.

Why don't they just stake me and get it over with – the bastards.

And that's when the interrogation began.

I couldn't understand why they were asking me so many questions. Do you know about another Dragomir? Are you related to the mother? Where are the mother and child? Each time I refused to answer, one of them would graze their stake across my skin, and I cried out in agony and rage, hissing threats and curses as the torture continued. After a while I realised that they needed me alive to answer their questions and I sank silence, my face fixed with seething hatred as I waited for it all to be over. Either they were going to give up and kill me, or they would tire and I would kill them. One way or another, this was going to end eventually.

After about an hour Dimitri insisted that Rose take a rest, and she begrudgingly let her Alchemist friend Sydney usher her off to tend to the head-wound she'd sustained during our fight. I thought I might get a chance to escape now there was only one person left to guard me but it was pointless trying to break through the chains with a stake at my neck. Diligent to a fault, Dimitri refused to leave my side and an uneasy silence fell between us until we were disturbed by an unexpected movement at the door and as elderly men entered the room. Clearly this was an unexpected visit and I sensed Dimitri's tension increase as he registered that the newcomers were a threat.

That was when I looked more closely and discovered to my outrage that one of the pair was Victor Dashkov. He carried himself with the same arrogant air I remembered but seemed so much frailer now – obviously his time in prison had taken its toll. The second man – Dashkov's brother I assumed – was staring at me and I returned his gaze coldly, wondering how I might use their arrival as a distraction to escape.

Before I could devise my escape plan, an alarm clock sounded from the bedroom and Rose emerged with a strange almost-guilty look on her face.

'So,' the young Guardian greeted the newcomers icily. 'You managed to find us.'

She invited them? What was going on?

There was a snarky exchange of conversation that I couldn't follow before I heard my name and realised they were talking about me.

'Sonya Karp,' Victor crooned sweetly like we were old friends. 'You've changed since I last saw you.'

'I'm going to kill you all,' I snarled in reply, following up with a string of passionate threats explaining exactly how I meant to destroy them.

My outburst didn't seem to bother anybody and Victor turned his attention elsewhere, temporarily distracted by the presence of Rose's 'pet Alchemist'. Eventually it was Rose who brought everybody's focus back on the issue at hand.

'Look. If you don't have anything useful to offer, then get out of here and let us wait until hunger weakens Sonya,' the girl announced.

How sweet.

'We can help,' said Victor. He touched his brother lightly on the arm. Robert flinched, jerking his eyes from Sonya to Victor. 'Your methods were destined to fail. If you want answers, there's only one way to…'

Enough of this pointless talking – it was time for me to get out of here.

With Dimitri distracted by the Dashkovs I took my chance and jerked up swiftly, breaking through the chain. I was still trying to shake myself free of my bonds when Dimitri and Rose both hurled themselves at my body in an attempt to pin me back against the chair. Rose didn't have a stake with her but Dimitri used his to excellent effect, making me screech out in fury as he raked it along my skin.

But I didn't care about the pain now – I knew I was stronger than anyone in the room. If I could just tire the Dhampirs out then I'd finally be free to show them what I was really capable of.

Then something completely unexpected happened. Victor's brother, even older and frailer than Victor himself, rushed towards me with a silver stake in his hand.

'No!' Rose shrieked, seeing him raise the weapon in both hands. 'Don't kill her!'

So this was it. I thought bitterly. I was going to be killed by an old man while two Dhampirs held me down and Victor Dashkov watched on with morbid fascination. Life was so unfair.

There was a spike of pain as the stake plunged into my chest and I let out a blood-curdling scream as I felt the cold metal sink through my flesh millimetre by millimetre until the tip pierced my heart. A blinding flash of light ripped across the room and a powerful force threw me backwards into the cushions before I passed out.

When I opened my eyes seconds later something felt different and it took me a moment to figure out that all of my pain had gone. A silver stake rested on my lap and when I reached out to touch it my eyes widened in shock and confusion – it should have burned me but it didn't. I was vaguely aware of a movement nearby and blinked up to see Victor rush to help his brother who lay prostrate on the floor. Dimitri was scrambling to his feet, but Rose and the Alchemist were just staring at me disbelief.

Looking down at myself, I wondered why I was chained up then gasped as it all came flooding back at once. I chose to become a Strigoi. I'd killed so many people – turned away from everything I once held sacred. The faces of every victim I'd drained were etched in my memory as though their deaths had just happened and a scream built up in my chest when I felt the depth of remorse over what I'd done. I struggled weakly against the chains, trying to escape from the ghosts in my memories. I'd let myself become a monster and what I'd done was unforgivable.

A pair of strong hands reached out to me and I shied back fearfully, expecting another round of torture, but instead Dimitri loosened my bonds and gathered me up in his arms like a child. Once I realised the Dhampir wasn't going to hurt me I collapsed against his chest, sobbing uncontrollably as he whispered soothing assurances in a soft Russian accent that reminded me of my grandmother.

Snatches of conversation filtered through my anguish;

'Don't release her,' a woman cried out.

'She's not Strigoi. Look at her. She's Moroi,' someone else warned.

There were a few more exchanges and then an angry male voice cut across the room. 'You need answers from Sonya Karp? Go get them. They've certainly come at a high price.'

No more questions, please. I begged silently, trying to block everything out by focusing on the comforting warmth of the arms that encircled me.

'She's in no condition to answer anything! She's in shock. Leave her alone,' my protector growled, and I felt the room swim as he stood suddenly, lifting me effortlessly in his arms.

Some of the others protested but Dimitri held his ground. 'She needs to rest,' he overruled them harshly before whisking me away to safety.

The next thing I knew, Dimitri was placing me gently on my bed. He pulled the floral quilt over my chest and sat close beside me, stroking my hair until I fell into a fitful sleep. At some point in the night I think he left, but when I woke in the morning he was leaning against the dresser beside my bed, watching over me with a troubled expression.

'Dimitri?' I asked, feeling self-conscious at the sight of a strange man in my bedroom. I sat up quickly and did my best to make myself vaguely presentable. My mind felt much clearer now I'd had a sleep, but the disturbing images of my Strigoi past were quickly filtering back into my mind and I felt the heaviness of guilt weigh down upon me.

'Welcome to a new day, Sonya,' he replied with a small smile. He was younger than me by at least five years, but he looked at me like a worried father.

I wriggled out from under the quilt and crossed my legs, buying myself some time as I tried to come to grips with what had happened. Yesterday I was a Strigoi, sucking the life out of two college boys, and now I was Moroi again. It just didn't seem possible.

'What happened?' I frowned deeply, still struggling to understand. 'What was that light? It felt like it burnt my soul.'

He walked over to the bed and raised his eyebrows, asking permission to sit. I nodded and he lowered himself onto the mattress, the springs squeaking loudly under his weight. It was hard to believe that only a few hours ago I'd been locked in a death-battle with this Dhampir and now he was sitting on the end of my bed for a quiet chat.

'That light was Spirit magic, Sonya. It restored you – healed your soul so completely that it allowed you to transform back to your original Moroi state.'

'But I still remember what I was,' I choked out as the realisation dawned on me. 'I still feel lost. I can't erase the horrible memories. I killed people – innocent people. I cut so many lives short. Why didn't you just kill me? How can I live with what I've done?' I begged for an answer.

'I know what you're going through…,' Dimitri began, running his fingers through his shoulder-length hair, but I cut him off.

'You couldn't possibly understand,' I declared, looking away darkly, unable to hide the anger in my voice. 'You were never a Strigoi. You never lost control like me.'

I felt a hand brush against my arm. 'It happened to me too, Sonya,' Dimitri's voice was hushed and desperately sad.

My eyes snapped back to his in shock and I could see from the raw pain in his expression that he was telling the truth.

'How?...' I asked uneasily. I didn't know it was even possible to return from being Strigoi, yet here was someone else who had experienced the same thing as me. I felt like I was drowning in the sins of my past but maybe, just maybe, this man could help me. 'How do you go on?'

'I lost everything when I was turned,' Dimitri dropped his gaze to study his hands as he answered. 'I killed hundreds of innocent people – humans, Dhampirs, Moroi – and plenty of people who deserved it too.' He glanced up at me and I knew he meant Strigoi. 'But worst of all I terrorised the person I loved most in the world; I imprisoned her, drank her blood against her will until she was addicted to my bite, tried to turn her,' his words trailed off as the memories became too hard to bear and silence settled over the room.

When Dimitri looked up again I could see his struggles written clearly across his face, and I reached out instinctively to cover his hand in mine. He blinked in surprise at the gesture of friendship and squeezed my hand lightly as he continued to speak.

'The truth is, you never completely forget what you've done, but the first step to healing is remembering who you were before – remembering you have something worth living for. Think of the one thing that you value most, just one beautiful thing and cling to it.'

At the moment I could barely think of anything beyond the troubles of my past, but I promised myself I would consider Dimitri's advice and try to follow it.

Some time later there was a knock at the door and a familiar face peeked through the doorway.

'Rose?' I asked softly as the young woman entered the room. She was just a girl when I saw her last but it was clear that the last few years had changed her. Her wild, brazen confidence had been replaced with a quieter form of self-assurance, and the mark of death and sorrow radiated from her aura.

'It's good to see you again,' she said with slightly forced politeness and I looked away quickly, realising she was here to see Dimitri not me.

I tried to give the pair a moment of privacy, shifting my focus to my broader surroundings when I became aware of a powerful presence nearby.

'There's another Spirit user here. I can feel it,' I warned, my anxiety sky-rocketing as I looked between Dimitri and Rose, willing them to understand. 'It's not safe. We're not safe. You shouldn't have us around.'

'Everything's fine,' Dimitri assured in the gentlest voice. 'Don't worry.'

I shook my head vehemently. 'No. You don't understand. We're capable of terrible things – to ourselves, to others. It's why I changed, to stop the madness. And it did, except it was worse, in its way. The things I did...'

Rose was the first to reply. 'It wasn't you. You were controlled by something else.'

I buried her face in my hands. 'But I chose it. Me. I made it happen.'

'That was Spirit,' Rose said. 'It's hard to fight. Like you said, it can make you do terrible things. You weren't thinking clearly. Lissa battles with the same thing all the time.'

'Vasilisa?' I hadn't thought of her since I'd heard about the murder of Queen Tatiana. Hearing her name now, I had a clear picture of the tall, gentle Moroi princess – I'd tried so hard to protect her from her powers and wondered how she was coping now.

Something sparked in Rose's eyes. 'Actually, Lissa could really use your help. We need to know if…'

'No,' Dimitri warned, cutting her off. 'Not yet,' and an awkward silence settled between the two Dhampirs.

I frowned, glancing suspiciously from one to the other as I tried to figure out what they were hiding, but they remained tight-lipped. Losing interest in the argument, my eyes came to rest on the clock on my wall and I realised it was morning. Forgetting everything else, excitement swelled in my chest as I thought about the sunlight – that mysterious wonder I'd been forced to avoid for the last two years.

'Can I see my flowers?' I broke the silence urgently. 'Can I go outside and see my flowers?'

'Of course,' Dimitri replied with a glance at Rose, and we all filed out of my room towards the back door.

When we passed through the living room I froze at the sight of Victor Dashkov and his brother - Robert I think they called him. This was the Spirit user who'd brought me back. You'd think I'd feel grateful but he only made me nervous. I knew the kind of power this man was capable and I didn't want him anywhere near me.

'Up and around already?' Victor asked with one of his sickly-sweet smiles, 'Have we found out what we need yet?'

'Not yet,' came Dimitri's blunt reply, but I ignored them both as I looked around in horror at the damage caused by yesterday's fight.

'You broke my door,' I exclaimed indignantly as I spied the cardboard sheet taped across a gaping hole in the glass.

'Collateral damage,' Rose replied in her old sassy tone, and I nearly smiled as I remembered a time when life had been so much simpler for all of us.

Then I stepped outside and my whole world exploded. Light, colour, sound, smell, the feel of the morning chill on my skin mixed with the sun's gentle warmth. It was almost too much to take in at once.

'It's so beautiful,' I breathed to myself, extending my arms out to greet the sun before rushing down the steps to visit each flower, vine and tree in my Garden of Eden.

When I finally had my fill, I returned to the sit on the patio chair and looked out over the garden with a sense of deep satisfaction and wonder. Was this the beautiful thing Dimitri was talking about when he counselled me to find something to cling to? Surely nothing could be more beautiful than this?

I searched my memories until I came to something I'd forgotten until now – a memory so powerful and so pure that it made this whole garden seem plain and two-dimensional in comparison.

Mikhail.

His love was the most beautiful thing I'd ever known, but I wasn't sure if he could still love me after all the pain I'd caused him. My heart began to race as I thought of seeing Misha again. Would he accept me or had I lost the most beautiful thing in my life? Either way, I couldn't go on a second longer without knowing the truth. Allowing the garden to fade from my vision, I reached within myself to connect with my Spirit magic and set about searching for Misha in his dreams.

Author's Note:

So excited Sonya is back to her Moroi self again!

Clearly there are whole scenes & conversations ripped straight from Final Sacrifice, creatively edited for my own purposes of course. I've made Sonya a bit more mouthy in this chapter - I think you can forgive her language considering she's fighting for her life! I love that Richelle Mead got Dimitri to whack Sonya with a shovel (reminds me of Austin Powers getting angry at Random Task for attacking him with a shoe!)

The main original scene is the conversation between Dimitri & Sonya, which hopefully sums up how Dimitri is dealing with his own change from being a Strigoi.