Because Steven had kept Harry from actually hitting the ground, instead of keeping him over the weekend, Madam Pomfrey only kept him overnight. Harry was grateful; he'd always hated sitting in a hospital bed, especially when he had things to do.
The headmaster undoubtedly was too busy to teach Harry what he needed to know. Harry suspected that even if he did have time he wouldn't want Harry mucking around with advanced magics.
He'd approach Lupin first; if he refused then he'd go to Flitwick and then McGonagall. If he had to he'd have Hermione find the spell and he'd learn it on his own. He couldn't depend on adults to protect him; he had to learn to protect himself.
To his surprise, Steven was in Lupin's office when he arrived. Lupin looked ill. He was gaunt and he looked as though he hadn't slept in three days. His eyes kept flicking toward the window, even though it was still early morning and there was nothing to see outside.
Maybe he just wanted to smell the rain.
"I wanted to speak to you about the dementors," Harry said.
Lupin looked at him for a moment. "I heard about what happened. I'm sorry. I suppose they are the reason you fell."
Harry nodded. "I don't know why they affect me like that...why am I so..."
"It has nothing to do with weakness," Lupin said. "The dementors affect you worse than others because there are horrors in your past that others don't share."
"Steven's lived through horrors," Harry objected. "He's been through a war, lost people...even seen people killed. Why doesn't it affect him?"
"It does," Steven said somberly. He stared down at his hands. "Every time I get around those things I relive all the worst moments of my life."
"You don't pass out."
"Dementors drain hope and happiness out of the air around them," Lupin said. "If it's left to feed long enough it'll drain every good feeling and every happy memory out of you...you'll be left with only the worst experiences of your life."
"My life...my old life was nothing but happiness before the war," Steven said. "I've got enough good memories from my dad and Connie and the gems to sustain me for a long time."
It struck Harry suddenly why he was so susceptible. Steven had a lifetime of good memories, but Harry's hadn't begun until he'd come to Hogwarts. Even those had been interspersed with moments of terror and classes with Snape.
His good memories could fit into a thimble.
It was humiliating that even Malfoy had enough good memories to keep him from passing out, but Harry was left to scramble to find any at all.
"When they get near me.." Harry stared at the floor. "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum."
Lupin's hands tightened.
"Why did they have to come to the match anyway?" Harry asked.
"They're getting hungry," Lupin said. He glanced at the sky outside again and said "Dumbledore isn't letting them feed. The large crowd on the Quidditch field, the excitement...it must have tasted like fear to them and drawn them like moths to a flame."
"It's going to keep happening," Harry said. "And sooner or later they're going to get to me."
It sounded a little paranoid the moment he said it, but Harry knew in his bones that it was true. Fortunately, Lupin didn't look as skeptical as Harry had feared.
"I need a way to defend myself," Harry said. "Before there's a Quidditch game where Steven isn't already on a broom and I break my neck."
"Me too," Steven said. He clenched his fists. "I need to be able to protect my friends, and these things don't seem like the kind of things you can just punch until they give up."
"I'm no expert on fighting dementors," Lupin protested. He lifted his hands.
"You were able to drive the dementor from the train," Harry said.
"That was one dementor," Lupin said. "There are defenses you can use, but they become more difficult the more dementors you are facing."
"The headmaster drove a hundred of them away," Steven said.
"He's the most powerful wizard in the world," Lupin said. "Arguably"
"Still...any defense against them would be better than none."
Lupin stared at them both for a moment then nodded. "It'll have to wait until next term; this is a bad time to have taken ill and I'm behind in my work."
Harry nodded. He glanced at Steven and they shared a look. It would have to do.
The thought of finally being able to protect himself from Dementors and never having to hear his mother being murdered again kept Harry's spirits up over the next six weeks.
Steven had an unlucky break and the Ravenclaws managed to beat the Hufflepuffs when their seeker had spotted the snitch behind another player and had been willing to plow into that player to get it. Steven had probably been worrying about hurting the player.
In any case, this put Gryffindor back in the running to win the house cup. While nobody begrudged the Hufflepuffs their recent wins, nobody wanted them to win the cup for the third year running. The Slytherins had even been known to say that it hurt the school's reputation.
They noticeably didn't say it when a Hufflepuff was around. The Hufflepuffs had gotten noticeably braver since Steven had joined. Whether it was because they believed he would be there to protect them, or simply because they'd regained their house pride nobody knew.
Incidents of bullying Hufflepuffs had dropped noticeably even since Harry was a first year. There were occasionally Slytherins who tried it, but rarely more than once.
Two weeks before the end of the semester the others were allowed to go to Hogsmeade, which Harry was not excited about. Being the only third year left behind was less than exciting.
Steven, however agreed to stay behind with him.
"I can go anytime," he said. "Besides, I've been helping Professor Lupin to grade papers and he's caught up."
"You mean he's ready to teach us?" Harry asked, excited.
Steven nodded. "I've been talking to him. He gets stressed out sometimes around the end of the month and he likes it if I play music for him."
Harry could hardly keep his excitement under control. He and Steven slipped past the Weasely twins and headed straight for Lupin's office.
"What's that?" Harry asked.
Lupin was hauling a large box which he placed on his desk.
"Another boggart," he said.
Steven took an involuntary step back.
"Don't worry," Lupin said. "I've spent a lot of time studying what happened with you and the boggart, and there is a spell I can use to make you invisible to it."
"So it won't turn into Jasper or...anyone else," Steven said.
Lupin nodded. "I tried it on myself and I actually got to see what the boggart looked like when nobody is around. Also, with most of the students away at Hogsmeade, it should minimize the damage if anything does go wrong."
"What's does the boggart look like when it's alone?" Harry asked.
Lupin shook his head. "It's actually hard to describe; maybe I'll show you sometime when we have the time."
"So..." Harry began.
"What I'm going to teach the both of you is advanced magic...beyond OWL level...it's called a patronus charm."
"How does it work?" Steven asked.
"Well, it kind of conjures up the opposite of a dementor...a patronus that serves as a guardian and a shield between you and the dementor."
"I've always been good at shields," Steven murmured.
"It's a projection created from the kind of things a dementor feeds on...hope, happiness...the will to survive. But it can't feel despair so the dementors can't hurt it. I have to warn you that it might be too advanced for either of you."
"What does it look like?" Harry asked.
He'd been unconscious both times when patronuses had been cast around him, so he had no idea what they were supposed to look like.
"It's individual to the wizard who casts it."
"How does it work?"
"It's an incantation that will work only if you concentrate with all of your might on a single happy memory." Lupin said. "And it's one thing to cast it in the classroom. It's another thing when you're facing a dementor."
"Ok," Harry said. It wasn't going to be easy to find one; certainly nothing in his aunt and uncle's house. Maybe the first time he got on a broom.
"The incantation is this...expecto patronum. Focus on your happiest memory and cast the spell."
He heard Lupin casting a spell on Steven. Harry closed his eyes. The feeling of flight. Being finally free of everything, including gravity.
"Expecto patronum," he said.
White light shot out from his wand. It looked like a silvery gas.
"Something happened!" he said. "Did you see that?"
Steven nodded.
"It's your turn," Lupin said to Steven.
"My first dance with Connie," he heard Steven mutter. "Fusion."
Steven closed his eyes and then opened them. "Expecto patronum!"
The light that came from his wand was brighter than Harry's; considering how much happier he'd always been than Harry it wasn't a surprise.
What was surprising was that it kept getting brighter and brighter, almost blinding so that Harry had to put his hand over his eyes.
Finally it was over.
"That must have been...some memory," Lupin said.
Harry had always tried not to be jealous of Steven. He'd never had a mother and he'd lost his father and all his friends and his entire world. He might never age and might stay a child for the rest of his life.
But he couldn't help but feel a sharp sting of envy; whatever memory had prompted this was apparently so joyful and so happy that it had overshadowed the memory of flying. Harry had always thought that flying was the ultimate in happiness, but now...
He couldn't imagine being that happy, and that made him feel a little bitter.
When would he get to feel that kind of joy?