I kept replaying that little voice saying, 'Oops,' over and over in my head in order that I would not lose my temper. I liked things organized. I liked things neat. I liked things in control, though none of which had been ever since Sookie had walked into my life. Oh, I do know it is of no fault of her own; as soon as she was introduced or discovered by my kind, her fate was unfortunately sealed in a way. No, I just could not comprehend why I did not see that with a younger version of Sookie, the trend of trouble finding her would continue.

"What happened?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even when Pam appeared next to me in the doorway. My child was no help, she took one look at the mess that was my kitchen and my Sookie, and then burst into laughter. Pam was completely aware that though I had no real use for a kitchen, I did prefer to keep it and all my other things clean and neat. It was presently the opposite of clean and neat, which Pam understood drove me insane.

That was something she took obvious delight in.

I watched while confusion started to cross Sookie's face when she took in Pam's reaction. She looked back to mine, and the confusion of our vastly different reactions started to increase on her face. The confusion did not last for long, however. Soon Sookie had broken into laughter following Pam's lead. Even I had to admit the scene was pretty hilarious; a small child who had two vampires wrapped around her little finger, even if she did not know it, stood in a kitchen that looked as if the abominable snowman had blown up.

My poor kitchen…

"I wanted to make you pancakes," Sookie told me, once the laughing had finally subsided. Her voice did not do a good job at concealing how close to tears she still was. It pained me to know that I was the cause. She had cried so much, too much over me, and that was something I was determined to have to end. I was immediately filled with fear of what might have happened if Sookie had actually tried to cook said pancakes. My fear was not for my kitchen, not for Pam, or me, but for Sookie. She could have been hurt, all because of my oversight to not ensure she had adequate supervision.

"I wasn't going to use the stove," she continued quickly. "That's a no-no without an adult. I was just going to make the mix but then it 'ploded'," she explained.

It came as no surprise to me that with Jason Stackhouse as her brother she knew the term 'exploded' at such a young age. The way that she said the term 'ploded,' made me understand how close to tears she still was. Even in this little child form, I hated the fact that she was so frightened of me.

So in my best, gentlest voice, I told her it was OK, because that was the truth. My kitchen was filthy, but it was nothing that I could not clean up in seconds. What counted was that the little girl staring up at me was still alive for me to work on changing her back into the woman that I had come to love.

I did not think my words did what they intended; not with the look on Sookie's face, she was still quite upset and that was most likely due to the angry look I was sure was on mine. I suddenly found myself covered in the white flour as well as the white powder ball, formerly known as Sookie Stackhouse, launched herself into my arms. "I'm sorry. I'll clean it up."

I could see then what Sookie meant when she said it 'ploded. There was another explosion. The force that she used to leap into my chest caused the powder to jump off of her and land on me. Of course, Pam then ran it through my hair which did not help things. I could feel the little powder granules of flour running over my scalp as she did so.

"My child, Pam, will be happy to help you," I told Sookie, causing Pam's hand to grip onto to my hair tightly. She did not like my words. "I bet with Pam helping you, it will be clean in no time," I told Sookie.

Pam would need to be careful, but she would use her speed to help clean the mess in the kitchen. Sookie did not seem to remember that we were vampires. I was not sure how much longer I would be able to keep that from her, seeing as her inquisitive mind was a strong character trait. Sookie was very accepting of the supernatural world, possibly because of her own supernatural ability. But as a child, it could be terrifying for her.

I left Pam and Sookie cleaning up the kitchen while I made a few phone calls. I would have to meet Madden; there was no escape from that one, but I still had to get a few other things out tonight. Thalia was not pleased, but she agreed, and Felicia would review the paperwork of vampires who wanted to move into the Area. After that, I returned to the kitchen to see what progress had been made. The kitchen was put back to rights, and yet there was still one more thing in it that needed to be cleaned.

Sookie.

I took Sookie into the bathroom as I knew that she needed to wash all the remaining flour off of her. Being aware of how Sookie usually was with nudity, I had to admit that I expected her to not want to change with me in the room, and was fully prepared to have to get Pam. With what happened in my kitchen during the day, I was not risking any more chances. A bathtub full of water could be very dangerous.

It was not my bathroom I was worried about in our little scenario.

I had learned my lesson. I never should have left her alone during the day; it was too risky and I was just grateful that Sookie would live to tell the tale as I was almost positive that was the expression humans use.

However, this little Sookie did not seem to share Sookie's fear of nudity. I admit that it took me a few seconds to realize what she wanted when she held her hands straight up in the air, and then looked at me expectedly. When I did figure it out, I took the bottom of the shirt in my hands and slowly started to lift it. I was surprised at her ease, but I would not deny that I hoped it was due to that fact that on some level she knew me, she remembered me.

It was a weird feeling, doing something that I had done countless times before, remembering doing times before, but, for all intents and purposes having done it for the first time. I was not sure if I was ever going to be able to wrap my head around this.

I helped her into the tub and stood back while I wondered what to do next. The Sookie that I was used to was fiercely independent, with me at least. I knew that she was fully capable of taking care of herself, but that did not mean that I did not wish to be able to take care of her myself.

Sookie grabbed onto me for balance when she got into the tub. She quickly submerged herself before she came back up for air. When she did so, she looked at me, and I looked at her, and neither of us seemed quite sure what to do next. When I had my thoughts about bathing Sookie, this was certainly not what I imagined.

I was about to say something, though I was not sure what exactly when she asked, "Will we play games like with Uncle Bartlett?" in a voice that broke my heart. It was still innocent, but a bit edgy, as if even at this young age she was starting to see how wrong he was.

This was the only time I was angry that he was already dead. I would have enjoyed doing the deed myself.

I did not hesitate in telling her no. "I will not be playing those games with you," I told her.

"Can we play other games?" she asked, her voice hopeful while I turned away to get some shampoo. That was my mistake.

"What other games?" I asked her as I turned back around, right in time to get a face full of water.

I had no words. For the first time as a vampire, I did not even have thoughts. All I knew was that my face was wet, and I had a little girl staring back at me, waiting to see how I would react. I knew that I had one chance to get this right, especially with my reaction in the kitchen.

If it had been anyone else, my reaction would have been swift and probably deadly. That was not about to happen. So, doing the only other thing that popped into my head, I put my own hand in the water, and gently splashed her back.

By her excited squeal, I thought I had made the right decision, and my reward for having done so, another splash to the face, but her laughter was very much worth the water dripping down my face. Before I could retaliate by splashing her, she went under the water again. Given my large bathtub, she was actually able to swim again, and I made a mental note to not fill the tub that high the next time.

She came up for air, but immediately went back under the water. The next time she came up for air, I was ready and caught her by her arms.

I should have expected the stream of water she spit in my face.

"I'm a fishy," she said, more like yelled out in the bathroom.

"A fishy?" I asked, and she nodded and sucked in her lips from the corners. I was not sure I would ever understand humans. "Well, I think that we need to make you a clean fishy," I told her.

Pretty soon, I did have a clean fishy and even better, a clean, dressed fishy. She was all ready for bed, in theory at least, dressed in another one of my shirts. I would have to get her clothes that actually were her size soon, but I also did not want her to need them for much longer.

The moment came where I could no longer put off the call to Madden. With his ten phone calls so far that evening, I had already pushed my luck. I would have tried even further if I had thought it would be more productive; I would have been even happier at never seeing his face again, but at that moment, I felt as if my hands were tied. Add in the complication of Sookie's predicament and I simply could not afford to rock the boat.

I bent down to Sookie's level and let her know that I had to leave. The look on her face told me she did not approve. "Can't you stay?" she asked, pulling her top lip under her bottom in a pout.

"You have no idea how much I would I want that," I told her, and I knew those words were the truth, even if there was no magic working on Sookie, she would have no idea how much I wished I could be with her every night.

Her phone message proved that.

"Pam will stay with you though."

She wrinkled her nose at that. "She seems grumpy."

I managed to hold in my laugh but just barely. "She seems grumpy, but she is as cuddly as a teddy bear," I told her. "She would probably love to play dress up with you." With that, I seemed to be forgotten as Sookie looked hopefully to Pam.

Yet when I was just about out of the room Sookie asked, "Can I make you a picture while you're gone?"

"I would love that," I told her before she asked for some paper and something to color with. Paper, I had a great deal of paper that she could color on and I got her a few pieces from my printer, thinking that plain sheets would be the best for drawing. When it came to the actual coloring implements, I found that I was terribly lacking. I had black pens and one lone red pen to offer her. I apologized, told her I would get her more tonight, and she would have plenty to color with tomorrow.

As soon as I could determine what a little girl should color with…

"Will you color with me tomorrow?" she asked, and I found it impossible to tell her no, much the same as when it came to adult Sookie.

"I would be more than happy to do so tomorrow night," I told her, and her face scrunched up, much like it does when she tends to be trying to figure things out in her head.

"Why not during the day?" she asked while she looked away and started to draw some lines on the paper.

With that question, it seemed as if she had no recognition of me. I was more upset with that thought than I cared to admit. I knew it was something I should have expected with her actions thus far, but I had hoped there would be something like when she sang the songs.

"I work at night so I sleep during the day," I told her, and just as I usually hated it, I hated not telling Sookie the complete truth.

She scrunched up her face again, only this time she looked much more as if she was trying to read my mind. I knew that finding the nothing that Sookie recognized as my brain would be even more confusing to her, and I was just waiting for her to ask a question as that was what I was used to, but she did not. Instead, she just wished me good night, asked me what my favorite flower and animal was, and started on her picture, her picture that I hoped she was really drawing for me.

I left her that way and pulled Pam into the next room with me. "Amelia," I said simply knowing that she would understand my unasked question.

"Should arrive before sunrise. She was unaware of what she will find upon her arrival. I did not want to discuss it over the phone." I nodded to her, showing my approval of her decision.

"Is she enough?" Pam asked, and voiced my own concern. I kept quiet, I had no answer. Staying here, protected by the secrecy of my safe house, yes, Amelia should be enough to ensure Sookie's safety. I just didn't know if 'should be' was enough security for me when it came to Sookie. I did not know if there would ever be enough security for me when it came to Sookie.

The problem with that was I also did not want to make her condition known. Everyone who found out posed a danger to her, merely by knowing of the situation. The less who knew the better, but I did need to make sure she was adequately protected during the day. "Call Dawson, or have the witch call him," I finally said to Pam. "Ask him if he can spare any Weres during the day."

I would not be happy with the dog smell they brought into my house but if it kept Sookie safe, I could stomach it.

Hopefully.

"She seems much better with us tonight," Pam said.

I had thought the same thing. "Children are adaptable," I said, using that as an excuse.

"And a thousand-year-old vampire?"

"Needs to adapt or he will never make it to a thousand years."

I knew what she was hinting. I could not say that if anyone told me that I would have spent a portion of the night playing 'fishy' in the bathroom; I would have inquired if they had caught Sino-aids.

Yet that was exactly how I had spent a portion of my evening.

"What's going on, Eric?" she asked me and I knew that she did not expect me to have an answer; she was simply looking for comfort. Unfortunately, I had nothing to offer her at that time as I felt as if I kept getting further and further away from any answers, and that was a comforting thought to no one. "Do you think it was one of our enemies?"

Yet another question I did not know the answer to, but one I would have to trust my judgment on if we were to try to narrow down the possibilities of what could have happened. "No. I do not think it was one of our enemies. If it was, I have no doubt they would have made it known by now," I sighed and continued, answering her first question. "I do not know what is going on, Pam. I think she knows us. She may not remember us, but I think somewhere she knows who we are and knows that we are her…" There were many words that I wanted to end that sentence with, and yet none of them seemed enough to explain her true worth to me.

"Friends," I finally finished, and the look Pam gave me told me that she felt like I did about my choice of word. It did not have her approval.

"She doesn't seem to know us," Pam told me gently.

"She does not seem to know much," I thought back to when I found her in the woods. She thought that she would be at her parents who had been dead for years. She thought she would see her Gran whose death was much more recent, but something I knew Sookie would never forget. "Yet she seems to know much," I added, thinking about her singing the songs in the car.

"I may not be sure what happened to her, Pam," I said to my child. That was certainly an understatement. "I have to think that her memories are still there; that whatever the magic did to her, it could not take that away."

She stayed silent at that, both of us knowing that we had to think like that; to think anything other than that was just too difficult. I knew how I felt in losing my memories, and then gaining most of them back; then all of them back. Lost did not even start to cover it, but if it helped me to help her, I would have done it all again.

I took one more peek in at her before I took my leave to meet with Victor. I hoped that I could make it through the meeting without finally killing him. That would be on the menu at some point, but all other contingencies would have to be well planned and well thought out.

I made it to my club, which was where Victor always chose to meet. It would seem odd him wanting to meet on my territory, but I knew what he was trying to accomplish. He wanted to show me that he had complete control, even in and over what was mine. That was something I allowed him to believe though it was also something that I hoped would help me bring his downfall.

Just before I opened my office door, certain to find Madden behind it seated in my chair, my phone went off, and when I saw it was a message from Pam, I opened it immediately. Pam had sent me a picture of Sookie's drawing. She had used the red pen, I had told her red was my favorite color, to draw me what initially looked like a blob on the page. Upon closer inspection, I saw the telltale mane of a lion, my favorite animal.

I smiled quickly before I wiped it off my face and opened my door. I walked into my office hoping that the picture Sookie drew me would get me through this fucking meeting.

It just may have been my only hope.

And Eric probably needs many hopes to get through a meeting with Madden. I do hope you've enjoyed this chapter. Many thanks to the editing skills of MsBuffy.