Disclaimer: Anything familiar to you, I don't own. This is a work of fanfiction for personal amusement, fulfillment and a bit of self-therapy. I make nothing from any of it.
Notes: This is not the last note of the series (sorry, I know I can be a windbag) but it is the last outright warning like this. From this point on, we are in the home stretch. Chickens are coming home to roost. One of them might be a little controversial but it's not even one of the ones which are pretty ugly. From this point on, expect any and all warnings in the story's tags to be fair game for a chapter. I know that I have now decided to upload one per day, but I recommend anyone who feels that the themes of this story (in fairly rapid succession) might upset them, take some time, take the reading easy. Thanks all.
Chapter Fifty-One: Marathon
February 11th, 2012 8:40 PM
The Valentine's Day party was in full swing. The blaring music seemed to pulse in the air of the gymnasium, which only came to life in snapshots, flashes of light birthing a world of people and places that were otherwise darkness. The long unused basketball court was occupied by what Max marked to be nearing a hundred and fifty people. For her part, Max had spent most of her time since the party started at seven sitting near the door and watching the room steadily fill with person after person, some she knew, most she did not. Many purchased a beer as soon as they arrived. Skipping on the drink herself, Max still occasionally went off with Chloe or Rachel to dance or Chloe took off to have a smoke with one person or another, but for the most part, she and Rachel took turns playing guard by the door.
Ostensibly they were being very dutiful in making sure that the first party they had ever helped to plan went off without a hitch. Realistically, though, when sitting by the door Max's eyes rarely strayed far from where Nathan sat, only a couple of feet apart from Victoria on the bleachers alongside one edge of the room. The two seemed to be trying to patch things up but every time Victoria looked away from Nathan, Max was certain she saw frustration blooming anew on his face. It looked, from where she sat, as if his attempts at reparations were failing, and miserably. Max had considered approaching and intervening, but she did not think she would be particularly welcome and at least this way she could keep an eye on Nathan while he tried to distract Victoria from Taylor, Courtney and their drinks.
As for other problems, there had been a handful of spills here and there and at one point a couple arguing out in the hallway that Rachel, Dana and Chloe had had to break up but otherwise all was well. In fact, Max thought as Rachel approached from the crowd with Chloe in tow, red faced and sweating, the party was going very well. Max figured she would be able to feel a little bit of pride once she was off Nathan-Watching duty for the night. As the girls approached, Chloe tried to yell something to her, but it was swallowed up by a bass drop which made Max's chair buzz beneath her and Chloe's face faded from view as the lights around the gym dimmed. Eventually, the taller girl was standing right over her, yelling practically into her ear.
"Go, get out there!" Max looked up, confused at Chloe, who rolled her eyes with a slow emphasis and then took hold of Max with her spindly fingers and pulled her to her feet. Max attempted to ask precisely what in the hell Chloe was talking about, but the music fell like a veil over her words. After a moment she was pushed, stumbling, toward Rachel, who had been standing with her arms crossed watching the two of them try and fail to talk. Those arms uncrossed and reached out to steady Max. It was her turn to roll her eyes at Chloe as the artist took her seat and gestured for Max and Rachel to go off. I guess it has been about a half hour. I should stretch my legs.
They were surprisingly more comfortable this time with pushing through the crowd of dancers, looking to disappear into the mass and from sight of most people who were not, themselves, dancing. Max focused on the feeling of Rachel's hand in hers. When they had found just enough space for their bodies and were again face to face, she looked pointedly into the blonde's eyes as Rachel first took her other hand and then began to 'lead' as much as one could be led in this manner of dance. Sometimes, in situations like this, Rachel just got inexplicably giddy. It was rather on the extreme side and Max saw signs of this emotional state forming in the girl's eyes when she looked for it. It wasn't that it was necessarily a bad thing, it was just unusual. Max wondered if it was a sign that maybe, just maybe, Rachel kept more emotions bottled up than she thought she did.
As if she could read Max's mind, the blonde released her hip, reached up and pinched the end of Max's nose briefly, trying to pull her out of her reverie. It succeeded, of course and Max rubbed angrily at her nose for a moment before forcing herself to pay attention to the moment and to Rachel. It wasn't particularly hard to be aware of the thespian's hands, her slowly widening grin which was already approaching 'goofy' or the way in which she moved almost as if to her own music and yet did not stick out too much. I'm never going to get the hang of this, Max thought. She simply did not know how to dance. And Rachel's just going to have to accept that. In the interim, though, even failing at learning how to dance had its benefits.
Thoughts of Prescotts, Chases and even the party in general took a back seat. It wasn't that she forgot about the reason they joined the Vortex Club to begin with, but she did do her best to let Chloe worry about Nathan. Max did not fall into whatever intoxicating trance held Rachel, but she did at least enjoy the music and being close with her girlfriend was never precisely unwelcome. Quickly, she came to accept that even if this was a keep an eye on Nathan night, it was alright that she had some fun. Maybe that should have been obvious, but Max's predilection for overthinking typically fought to rob her of her fun during times of stress.
Whenever she was close to straying off of the path and losing focus on where they were or what they were doing, Rachel would bring her back to the moment. Typically she did so in a far more gentle manner than before: her hand would shift up from Max's hip to her shoulder or around to her back, or perhaps she would simply pull a step away from Max and force the girl to lift her head more to match eyes with her. Simple gestures worked wonders in capturing Max's attention. Perhaps it was a symptom of hypervigilance as Rachel so often suggested. She had certainly been on edge even a couple of minutes ago when Chloe and Rachel had last pushed their way out of the crowd and approached her. At one point, Rachel physically lifted Max's head a bit, this simple act enough to pull Max into the moment. That she took advantage of the moment to steal a quick peck from the blonde was of no consequence.
By the time that Max began to consider that they ought to take a break, the girl opposite of her was practically laughing at nothing. It was both a little bizarre and endearing. Max couldn't wipe the smile off of her own face. Very notable, though, was the fact that Rachel's hazel eyes were being dominated by pupils the size of dinner plates. As with last time, Max would have had little trouble believing that Rachel was high as a kite. She wondered if Rachel was warm again, the kind of warm that in the past had signaled the potential for a fire. It took a moment for her to communicate her intent to leave the 'dance floor' through facial expressions and hand signals, but eventually, giving her a poor imitation of a pout because Rachel could not keep a straight face, the blonde helped her shoulder a path through the crowd.
The full weight of the night and their reason for being in it hit Max as they emerged from the crowd and saw what was going on. By the doors to the room, Chloe was sitting not in the chair she had just been in, but on her butt in the middle of the floor, looking a little surprised. Nathan stood in front of the doors to the gym with one hand extended as if he had just physically pushed her aside. Pressed up against him with one arm around his shoulders was someone who could only have been Victoria Chase. Her head was bowed toward the ground beneath her, her right arm not visible from where they were standing. The picture the moment painted in Max's mind was dire enough that she pulled her hand from Rachel's and ran quickly across the floor, dodging at least two people who were similarly gaping at the scene in front of them and doing her damndest not to trip over the wiring taped to the floor.
Nathan and Victoria passed through the doors out into the hall and from the group immediately around it, Taylor and Courtney emerged. While Courtney stopped with her arms crossed over her chest, Taylor reached down to help Chloe back to her feet, only backing off when the girl batted once at the air between them, dismissively and more than a little aggressive. For Max's part, she didn't reach Chloe in time to help her up, but she did immediately take a moment to put herself between Chloe and Taylor so that she could check the girl's face for signs of any serious pain. Instead, the girl just looked pissed and once Chloe realized who it was who had her by the shoulders and had quickly shoved their face into hers, the artist gestured once, insistently toward the doors and the retreating forms of Nathan Prescott and Victoria Chase.
"Are you okay?" Max yelled at Chloe, more concerned with her health than with someone she could chase down in a rewind. Chloe's response was again to gesture toward the door in silence. Glancing to her left, Max saw that Rachel had reached them and knew that she was running out of excuses not to confront what was happening. This is it. This is the moment. Max released Chloe and turned to Taylor. As loudly as she could raise her voice over the music, she called out a question. "Where are they going?"
"Victoria got too drunk. He's taking her back to her room." Victoria Chase got too drunk in an hour and some change? Victoria, who only drinks like, a beer at these parties. Yeah, no. Max stepped away from all four of the girls around her and out into the hallway. There was no immediate sign of the couple who had just left but, a boy standing near the door seemed to notice her looking for them. His eyes widened slightly, as if to indicate that he suspected the importance of the moment and then he tilted his head toward the center of the school and gestured with the phone in his hand. Max shook her head and hurried as directed. This is it. I can't believe it's Victoria. If Max simply stopped running and let the boy get away, Nathan would make his move. Why it had been Victoria, she did not know. Maybe he saw her betrayal as great and had needed to take back his power from her? That seemed to be how he thought, in terms of his own power.
Their backs were visible as Nathan turned them toward the hall that, at the end of it, would spit them out closest to the dormitories. Just do nothing and it will happen. The story will get out. Jefferson will find out what's going on. They'll start working together and then next time, bam, you shut them down. It's all over and no one else will have to get hurt. All Max had to do was turn away and pretend to assume the same thing Taylor and Courtney were assuming: that Nathan would take good care of Victoria, who had overindulged. All she had to do was look away from them. If she could just let this happen they would be able to put an end to all of this. Jefferson and Nathan would go down the next time they stepped out of line and she would rewind as many times as it took to make sure of it.
That had been the plan all along. Yet, as Max turned around and saw her own regret, her own discomfort, her own shame reflected on the faces of Chloe and Rachel, she knew that it was already decided. The rage and guilt that arose from that moment, that understanding would have been dangerous if Rachel were feeling it, Max would later think. Thought in the moment consisted only of how many steps it would take to catch up to Nathan and Victoria and put an end to this before it was too late. Not a single one of them had ever been able to embrace this plan and that should have been the first sign that it was never going to be a case of sacrificing someone for 'the greater good'. If, as every one of them had pointed out at one point or another, someone else got hurt because they intervened tonight, then they would have to deal with that. God damn it!
Some level of courtesy existed among the people out in the halls: while the walls were lined with couples or groups of friends not feeling the all encompassing din of the music, the middle of the hall was clear. With Victoria seemingly having difficulty walking, Max made two assumptions: the first that she could catch the two of them even if she chose to stroll leisurely (which she was not) and the second being that Nathan had fucked up his dosing. Ideally, Max thought as she reached Nathan, she would present him with an alternative that he could not turn down while keeping his cover, like telling him to let her help Victoria. The thing was, that might just set someone else in his path. She needed to anger and embarrass him, she needed Nathan to leave with eyes on his back, knowing that he would be watched closely if he came back. There were still some couples nearby, sitting along the walls when Max reached the pair.
"Nathan," Max called. "You don't have to do this. Just let her go." For a moment it looked like he was going to ignore her, so Max took two quick steps and reached out for Victoria's arm. The waiflike blonde seemed to want to make some scathing rebuttal in her direction, but she was so high in the moment that all Max heard was a confused query as to who Max was. Nathan cursed, loudly, looking up at Max as she moved to stand in front of them. His marred features were sharp, angry and red. Good, he's embarrassed. Max hoped some of the people around them were watching and taking note.
"Fuck off, dyke," Nathan told her, insistently. The two continued toward the door and Max slowly backed up to keep space between herself and the pair. "This has nothing to do with you." Over their shoulders, she saw Chloe and Rachel approaching. Taylor and Courtney were not far behind her.
"If you walk away with Victoria, this is all going to go really bad for you. Just like the fall before last." At that, Nathan stopped moving. "It's going to be the same thing all over again. Don't you get it, Nathan? You're not all-powerful and untouchable. We're not playthings. We're our own people and we're not sent here just for you to use. None of us."
"You don't know what you're talking about," he hissed. "You're just like all of the rest. You think you know everything, but you're just a nosy bitch, sticking your nose in everyone else's business." This was normal fare for Nathan when he was angry, but there was something new. Mentioning the first and last time that Max had been in Nathan's room had put the boy on edge. His voice shook. His face was almost the color of a stop sign. This time, when Max looked around, people were watching.
"Who yuh think yar?" Victoria asked, though she was not looking at Max as she said this. Instead, the blonde was glaring at the ground about five feet ahead of Max. She can't even lift her fucking head. Is this what I was like? Or is this some new drug? To hear Rachel tell the story, Max had been barely conscious at all when Rachel found her.
"Nathan, look, everyone can see what's happening. You slipped her something. She's high off her ass. If anything happened to her, they'd remember this. Look, I can get you your meds. We can get you help. You just need to want to get help. We can get you help, Nathan. Let her go and you and I could go right now and find someone, anyone who could help you. Anyone you want." Confusion took his features. The sound of the people around them began to disappear under what Max thought at first was a particularly powerful, rapid bassdrop from the gym but quickly realized was her own heartbeat. That doesn't sound right. "Nathan, please, let me get you help. It's what Kristine would want. You don't have to be like your father." Apparently appealing to his thoughts of his sister had been a big mistake. Or maybe mentioning Sean?
"Don't you dare fucking mock me!" Nathan went off as if he were a bomb. For a second she did not understand why his muscles were tensing and then he shoved Victoria to the side. She hit the wall fairly hard, but someone, and Max did not think she knew who it was, caught the girl before she could fall to the ground. Rachel moved up behind Nathan as he made as if to lunge at Max and placed one hand down on his shoulder. The boy jerked around as if to shove her away and, standing so close to Rachel Amber for the first time in a year and some change, he recoiled. Max would have enjoyed the look of pleasure on Rachel's face were it not for the sound of Victoria crying out, confused and demanding to know why Nathan pushed her. The boy jerked free of Rachel's grasp, took one step toward Victoria who, barely standing, could not lift her face to look him in the eye.
"It's what you get for siding with that mouthy bitch," Nathan told her, leaning forward and down to try to force himself to her eye level. "I should have known you were like all the rest of them."
"Start walking," Rachel told the boy. Max watched she and Chloe approach. Nathan seemed to come to his senses at the threat inherent in this behavior and realize that he was surrounded. There were something like nine people in the hallway and at least four of them were slowly approaching him. One of these was the stranger who had tipped Max off as to which way the two of them had gone to begin with. It was gratifying to watch the Prescott heir storm off like a petulant child again, but did nothing to quiet the voice in her head that warned her that this action would have consequences. Grave consequences. Different phrasing, please, brain. Max approached yet another set of strangers who were trying to help keep Victoria on her feet as she tried to fight them away.
"Victoria," Max called, loudly and emphatically. The girl shook her head once, as if in denial and then looked in roughly her direction. It looked like it took a herculean effort, but Victoria did eventually match her eyes. "You're safe, okay?" The blonde was too lost to even look confused. Behind her, Nathan disappeared around the corner as if he was going back toward the gymnasium. The idea made Max's stomach churn but when forced to choose between making sure Victoria got out of there alright and putting an end to Nathan's bullshit, Max thought she had already made the choice. There was no regret, precisely, but she did feel some guilt as she matched eyes with the blonde.
"Max?" Victoria asked.
"Yeah," Max promised her, "It's Max." When there was no great outroar, she took Victoria's right hand and slowly threw her arm over her shoulders. "You need to get to bed, okay?" The blonde's head moved but it was neither a nod nor a shake of denial. Max couldn't be assed to try to interpret it. For her size, Victoria was surprisingly heavy when she was half deadweight. She looked once toward Chloe and Rachel, the latter of which was already following Nathan from the hallway determinedly.
"Go take Victoria somewhere safe," Chloe told Max. For her part, Max did not look at Taylor or Courtney behind the bluenette. She was not sure she would be able to keep her cool if she did. "Then come find us, alright?"
"Alright," Max promised and, talking Victoria through each and every step, Max led the way from the school. Why and how there was a clear path to the dormitories, she did not know. All she knew was that while Victoria had calmed down upon seeing her earlier, with every step they got toward the dormitories, she seemed to be getting more and more confused and more and more upset. When Victoria had asked where they were going for the thirteenth time, Max gave her the same answer. "I'm dropping you off at your room, remember? It's okay."
It was not, as it turned out, okay.
"Why-doIfeel so-weird?"
"Victoria, I think Nathan slipped you something." She did not have much trouble getting the front door to the Prescott Dormitories open. What looked like it was going to be difficult was the act of climbing the stairs up to the second floor because at Max's answer, the blonde insistently began to dig her heels into the ground instead of go anywhere.
"He-wouldn't."
"Okay," Max told her. She wasn't entirely sure that Victoria would remember this or anything in the morning. Arguing with her seemed like a waste of energy for both of them, especially considering she was either going to need to search Victoria for her keys or coach her through unlocking her room in short order.
"Oh god," the wealthy blonde murmured, and then, heart wrenchingly, sobbed once. Max was faced as she watched Victoria grapple with what was happening around her, with the morality of calling the cops on Nathan. It all comes down to proof and again, I don't have a scrap of it. The only proof I've got is that they were sitting together at the party. That's nothing. There was one more thing to consider, Max told herself as she all but hauled Victoria up the stairs and she questioned why, why he would do that. The other consideration was Victoria's desires. Nathan had tried to rob her of her agency once, of bodily autonomy, of free will. Did Max want to make decisions for her? Did she want to rob Victoria of her free will? She had not wanted Rachel to take her to the hospital when her time had come because she knew what happened if the girl did. In Victoria's shoes, though, Max rather thought her decision would have been the same even without the echoes of a fire in the emergency room, of gunshots and Nathan Prescott screaming in pain.
It took Max so long to convince Victoria to look for her keys that she very nearly did it herself. Eventually, though, Victoria gestured at her right front pocket and after one or two failed attempts to reach into it, Max apologized to her and freed the keys herself. That was no small task while trying to balance the slightly taller girl against her shoulder, but eventually the job was done and she pushed open the door to Victoria's room. Max did not take any time to take the sight in. For all she knew, some kind of drama could be going down at the school at that very moment. She hated it, but she had to leave Victoria and get back. Besides, she wouldn't want me here when she woke up, but I know who she would want. There was a very brief struggle as Max tried to convince Victoria to lay down, and eventually was forced to leave the girl sitting on her bed.
Victoria did not say anything when Max released her. She had been wanting, just a second or two ago, to be let go of. Max expected some relief. Instead, it was as if the girl thought she was alone already. Sitting, hunched forward, Victoria Chase stared, blankly at the floor in front of her. Her brief spat with tears seemed to be over for the moment. Now, while stopping short of having gone completely flat affect, she was clearly still out of it. I don't know what the hell he gave her, but it's some fucked up shit. Whatever the case, Max did not feel right leaving Victoria without saying anything.
"Victoria," Max called, softly.
"Go away," this was the clearest, most 'Victoria' thing Victoria had said to Max all night, even if ti came out at a mumble. "Leave me alone."
"Victoria," she tried again. "I'm going to send Taylor and Courtney, okay? You need to stay here where it's safe."
"He was safe," Victoria answered. "I thought he was."
"Everyone did," Max lied. The momentary cognizance faded and Victoria again seemed to forget Max was there. Satisfied (if it could be called satisfaction) that Victoria was not going to leave the room, Max stepped out into the hall and shut the door behind her, Victoria's keys still clutched in her palm. Her phone buzzing in her pocket was all that kept Max from standing there, spaced out herself. While she was glad that Victoria was safe, there were a lot of other feelings in competition for Max's limited attention span and energy reserves.
Hayden
Juliet and I are w/ a few people in science lab. Chloe and Rachel brought Courtney and Taylor. They want you to meet us.
Eventually Max did make it back to the school and even to the science lab. No one paid her any special attention as she turned the knob. No one, it seemed, who had been watching the spectacle that was Nathan Prescott, was still in the halls. Maybe they had not felt safe at the school and had gone home or maybe, intent on drowning out the unpleasantness, everyone had gone for a drink and loud music. Max did not know. She did not care. What she wanted to know was why Rachel and Chloe wanted her to meet them there and what had happened when they chased after Nathan.
There was a certain air of relief in the room when the group looked up. Once more, a series of small lanterns whose source Max still did not know lit a small section of the science lab. More than one face seemed to settle into a more relaxed state upon seeing her, but Taylor and Courtney's did not. She took a moment as Dana softly called out her name to look the group over. Chloe and Rachel sat to Taylor's left. Hayden, Juliet, Dana, Steph and, strangely, Warren Graham were also present. What the fuck is he doing here? Perhaps he had been part of the smoke circle which they must all have been intruding upon? Warren was a bit of a mystery that Max had not really thought about for a few months. I think it might be smart to do so, soon.
"Max," Dana said again as she approached and settled down onto a stool beside Chloe, who instantly reached out to take hold of Max's knee, squeezing it reassuringly. Max looked up at Chloe instead of Dana and saw a grim smile settle into place. She lowered her head again. Max was aware that she had dashed all of their admittedly tenuous plans that night. She knew damn well she had done so unilaterally, too. The question remained as to whether or not Chloe or Rachel were upset with her for it. "Max, Chloe, Rachel and Taylor say you just accused Nathan of drugging Victoria." Now, Max looked again at Chloe and saw guilt on her face. "I'd really like to know why you think that?" Dana's voice was soft, coaxing. It made Max shiver on the stool.
"Where's Victoria?" Taylor suddenly asked from the other side of Rachel. Max still had not been able to meet the thespian's eyes.
"She's in her room," Max promised. "There's not even a bump from where he dropped her." Max reached out with her right hand, which had been clutching Victoria's keys so hard that she would not be surprised if she had pierced the skin of her palm with them. "I know from experience that she might need someone with her." Max passed the keys to Chloe, who sent them sideways to Rachel. At this, Max dared to look at the blonde two seats down from her and found the girl's face stoney. It took one or two swallows to find her voice again. "She'll be a little confused and scared, but most likely she'll sleep it off and not remember much of it. You should go." Dana's question remained unanswered. Max did not think she could look at the group at large.
"Did you see something, Max?" Dana repeated, just as softly. "Is there something you saw that tipped you off that Nathan was up to no good?" Dana did not doubt her, she was looking for warning signs, for evidence, something that Max wished she could give. Instead, looking down at her own hands and, no longer matching anyone's eyes, Max decided to ask something, herself.
"Please don't make me say it. I'm not trying to make trouble for anyone. Not for the Vortex Club. Not for Victoria. I just wanted to help. Please don't make me say it." That's not what you're upset about. That's not why you feel like throwing up. You know why. She did. She knew exactly why Dana's question made her shiver and why her empty stomach was churning. The only answer she could possibly give the girl was based on first-hand experience. That meant admitting something that she had not told anyone else. Rachel, Chloe and Steph knew because of their involvement in that night, but Max had not told anyone else, not even Kate, who might have been her closest friend at Blackwell outside of the other three girls.
"Max?" Dana asked, quietly. The hand on Max's knee squeezed.
"You don't have to," Chloe told her, speaking up loudly enough that she could be heard by the room at large. A second hand, larger but soft, came down on Max's left shoulder and it was this that made her look up and follow it to its source. Hayden had reached out to her and was shaking his head, as if to say that Chloe was right and the choice was hers. She had kept this secret for over a year, scared of her parents finding out and demanding she leave Blackwell, scared of being smeared all over town, scared of Nathan's revenge. Scared, scared, scared. Like a fucking bitch.
Every set of eyes on her was connected to a person that Max had some kind of feelings about. Hayden had been injured in an attack meant for her and subsequently helped her get dirt on the friend who had tried to hurt her. Dana cared strongly when she was not wrapped up in her own problems, most of which came from a bit too much of a desire not to fall behind anyone else at Blackwell. Juliet was always watching, always listening to the school around her but seemed to have the good sense not to repeat half of what she heard. Warren, jesus, he was a whole bundle of questionable, one who had taken her by surprise with his behavior when she had first come to Blackwell, seeming to be almost the opposite of the caring, attentive boy the Other Max remembered from her school days, Taylor and Courtney were so much more than the roles they played for Victoria, but neither of them seemed willing to accept it. Then there were Steph, Rachel and Chloe. If there were three people anywhere near as important to her in Arcadia Bay, Max couldn't imagine them. The things she had been through with any of the three of them were enough to instill innate trust in the bonds between them.
Max exhaled. She had kept this secret for far, far too long.
"He did it to me when I first got here. The night of the Midsummer Night's Dream performance." Max lifted her eyes to them again, in part because of the fact that both Hayden and Chloe had simultaneously given her one sharp, bracing squeeze that was probably a bit harder than either intended. Dana and Juliet were sharing a sort of knowing look that Max wanted to understand. Courtney looked dubious. Chloe, upon seeing this, looked enraged. As for the fire in Rachel's eyes, only time could tell what form it would take. Warren looked down at his hands. Steph's pride hurt to look at.
"We- I remember you two going off together," Dana finally told Max. "You were really out of it, but I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know who you were, then and I'm so sorry I didn't say anything to anyone, Max." Max shook her head. She could feel her eyes beginning to sting.
"I don't think I'm the first. I think he knew just what he was doing, but I wasn't-" she gave one heaving sigh and continued. "I thought I could do the smart and safe thing, say nothing, keep my head down, let it happen again." Looking up at Chloe and Rachel, she tried to convey the honesty of the words to them. "But I couldn't. I can't."
"And we couldn't, either," Rachel promised her. "Why do you think we told them what happened? You did the right thing, Max. You made the right choice." Max's stool rocked forward as she slumped down. There were no more voices for a moment, but she could hear upset and frustration in the breathing around her. Then, after several seconds, the familiar flick of a lighter met her ears and she smelled smoke. She wasn't sure where the blunt came from, but eventually Hayden passed it to her. Max almost laughed. It had been a while since she had been in enough supply to keep up with her own anxiety, much less everything else. She took a long draw from the joint which was almost interrupted as grief grew up inside of her at the feeling of Rachel, who had just climbed down from her own stool, wrapping her arms around Max's middle from behind.
"Max stopped it before anything happened to Victoria," Rachel muttered, and then stopped in her next breath, following Max's eyeline toward a lost looking Courtney, who was looking to Taylor for answers and did not seem to understand why Taylor looked pissed off. "Look, if you don't believe her you're welcome to fuck off, but if you've got half a brain in that head of yours, you're not going to leave any drinks out around Nathan." Max offered the joint to Chloe on her right and when neither Rachel nor Courtney spoke, interrupted the tense moment. She had trouble feeling much empathy for either of them in the moment. In fact, she had trouble feeling much of anything.
"Is he back at the party?"
"No," Rachel promised as she released Max. "We told him to fuck off and he listened. For once." Max looked around the room, where few people were meeting each others' eyes. Courtney accepted the spliff from Chloe. Max wanted to ask them all not to say anything, not to repeat what she had just confessed to them, but did not know how she could do that in good conscience. Hadn't she learned just hours ago that she would do whatever it took to make sure Nathan did not hurt someone else? Growling with frustration, Max pushed herself off her stool and made to walk past Rachel, toward the door. Chloe rose with her. She wanted to kick and scream and yell, shut herself in her room and rage out at the wall but there was a party on and there were entirely too few members of the club there in case something came up.
"Max," Dana started, "I think Rachel's right. You did the right thing. You also helped us throw what was otherwise a kickass party. I think you've done enough for tonight."
"You saved Victoria's ass tonight," Taylor agreed, though her voice was quieter. She was less sure of herself as she watched Max from beneath long, blonde bangs. "You should go back to the dorms if you want to." When Max turned back toward them, it was to look past Chloe and confess a thought she had not even known she was having.
"I don't want to be alone right now."
"You won't," Rachel promised her, taking a step toward her and Chloe, where they stood near the door. "Taylor, Courtney. One of you should get some water and go sit with Victoria. This is probably really fucking scary for her." That seemed to be Rachel's idea of a goodbye and Chloe saw so, too, because she turned away with a quick raised hand as the blonde approached. Max grimaced, looking between them and the others. She did not know who to speak to, but there were words needing said.
"I'm sorry," she told the room at large, unsure exactly what she meant. Dana seemed intent on dissuading Max of the idea that she had something to apologize for, but Max had trouble focusing on her words as Steph, too, broke away from the ring of people passing a smoke about and approached. Rachel and Chloe moved out of the way when they saw who was coming, and allowed the girl to grab Max in a very tight, if brief hug. Max was strangely relieved to have Steph with them as they left the room and, eventually, the building, as if she provided just that last bit of safety that Max needed to willingly step out onto Blackwell grounds. "Did I do what I think I just did?" Max asked them once the doors to the school had shut behind her. Chloe was the first to really react. She dug her hands into the pockets of a soft, dark jacket and, turning to begin to walk backward as they made for the dorms, she spoke.
"Saved someone from Nathan? Hell yeah you did," Chloe told her. Max shook her head.
"I mean, I just told a room full of people what happened. What if it gets around and he comes after me? He's dangerous enough as it is." Self-loathing rose up within her as she realized she felt scared and small. Of course Nathan was going to come after her, he was never not going to after embarrassing him publicly in the middle of his escape with his next victim.
"If Nathan comes after you," Steph said, "he's got a lot of people he's going to have to get through. Besides, Courtney and Taylor are going to tell Victoria what happened tonight." What are the consequences of this? I can't even guess.
"I guess I'm a little nervous," she admitted to the auburn-haired girl, whose lips curled into a frown.
"Max, we get that, that's why we're here," Chloe told her. "It's okay to be scared, but I'm gonna stick around as long as I can and Rachel can stay with you all night." The group as a whole was back in the dorm building and on the second floor shortly, at least, three of them as Steph had said her goodbyes at the door. The hall was still dim when the door at the end of the hall locked itself behind them, putting up one more barrier for any intruder who might come looking for revenge. Calm down, Nathan's not going to try to get up here. Too messy, too obvious. He'll wait. He'll find some way to hurt you that doesn't come back on him.
It was not her door that her eyes went to first. Despite Chloe and Rachel in front of her, Max veered off the path to her own room. Numbly, she approached Victoria's door. Pressing her ear to it just briefly, she could not discern any clear, audible sound from the other side. Taylor and Courtney are coming, Max told herself. They'll take care of her tonight. She had to remind herself of this fact a couple of more times before she let Chloe or Rachel pull her away from the door and toward her own room. The silence of Victoria's bedroom disturbed her.
At some point, Max had given her own keys to Chloe, who let them into her room. It was the damndest thing, though: she could not remember having done so. Chloe and Rachel entered first, as if making a sweep of the room and then coaxed her in with care that she did not think she should have needed to be convinced to enter her own room. Looking once around the room, Max settled down not on her bed or futon but on the floor, back against the western wall. Without a word, and though she was probably disturbed by this, Rachel dropped into a sitting position on one side of her and Chloe on the other. Max sought out their hands without giving it much thought and at the same time considered how best to say any of the things on her mind.
"We're gonna need a new plan," Max finally settled on. "This was never gonna work, and I'm sorry."
"Max, none of us liked this plan. None of us were okay with it. It's alright that you weren't," Chloe answered. "It's not time to talk about what comes next, though, okay? It's time for you to calm down." Max wasn't sure she wanted to calm down. She was not sure exactly who she was going to be when she 'calmed down' and was fairly certain she was not allowed to fall apart. Not yet.
There was no one there to know the disturbing contents of the dream she gladly left behind. Chloe had been gone for hours when Max awoke, not for the first time that night, to feel Rachel's arm tighten around her midsection. When she shifted, it seemed to her to be slight enough as to be almost imperceptible to anyone else. Yet, the owner of that arm certainly noticed that she was awake even though the only thing Rachel must have been able to see was the back of Max's head. Rachel pressed slightly closer against her. Whether it was due to being uncomfortable or just wanting to be closer, Max was unsure until the girl spoke.
"Another nightmare?" Rachel asked her. Max grew still, trying to remember if she had let on either time she woke before that unpleasant dreams had been the culprit. I don't remember saying anything. "You kind of jerked awake just now. Max, you don't have to pretend." She did not pretend. Instead, slowly enough that she would not cause either of them discomfort, Max turned to face the blonde who lay, back toward the wall, watching her with concern and something more in her eyes. Max had to tilt her head so that she was looking into those hazel eyes and not at Rachel's lips and chin, though that was partially down to their height difference and not just the angle at which she had been sleeping moments before. "Hey, you."
"Hey yourself," Max said back as the blonde returned to stretching her arm around Max's waist. She felt somewhat safer at Blackwell with that arm in place. It was as if Rachel was a chain to the world. She was not about to fly off, or fall off of the dormitories, Max thought as she recalled the nightmare. The warmth inherent in pressing up to anyone, much less Rachel of all people, threatened to chase the nightmare clean away and Max did nothing to stop it from doing so. In fact, she reached down and pulled the blanket up farther over her. "Not sleeping?"
"Not really," Rachel told her, honestly. "I'm worried about you." Max closed her eyes. She didn't want to make Rachel worry. She didn't want to make either of them worry, least of all the girl whose emotions tended to bring about some occasionally disastrous effects. At this, Max's mind strayed to the storm Rachel had conjured a few days ago. Though she had fought the panicked side of her mind on that day, she could not deny that there was something if not scary then at least awe inducing about Rachel coming to understand her power to such a degree that she could make the storm. Had it really been a side effect of saving the other Chloe's life that had leveled the other Arcadia Bay or had it been the vengeful spirit of another Rachel Amber? Was her Rachel powerful enough to level a town? She had certainly drenched one and put on an impressive show for it. "Max?"
"I'm okay," Max lied. She was anything but okay. She couldn't fathom what was happening in Victoria's room at that moment. Had she finally fallen asleep? Was she going through the kind of thing Max had gone through a bit over a year ago? I don't want to stay under the same roof as this fucking creep, Max thought, and she felt guilty thinking it. In a way it wasn't entirely Nathan's fault. Then again, he was aware of his mental illness and willfully chose to ignore it and even embrace it. Mentally ill or not, you were responsible for your illness, unless you were simply incapable of being. Nathan was capable of it. Max had seen what Nathan Prescott on medication was like. He was even capable of being reflective. He chose this and now Victoria has to deal with the consequences.
"I think you need to reconsider seeing a therapist," Rachel told her. Max snapped back to the present. A hundred and one protestations rose up like a wall around her, intent on repelling the idea. "Hear me out, Max." It took all of Max's willpower in addition to quite literally biting her tongue for that wall to fall. "You don't have to tell them about everything. Just what you told everyone tonight. You know it's going to come out, sooner or later, right? Even if no one, and I mean Warren here, gossips, everyone is going to hear about what happened with Nathan and start piecing things together." Max swallowed. She had not thought of that in the moment, had not even considered it afterward. Now the very real possibility that the entire school would suspect what Max had admitted to a few people in a moment of stress was scary. "Just tell someone about this, and ask for help. It couldn't hurt anything."
"If I confirm anything to anyone and my parents find out, they'll try to pull me out of the school," Max told her. "You've met my parents. You know they know how to get what they want."
"Unfortunately, that runs in the Caulfield blood," Rachel finished, sighing in defeat. She looked away from Max, as if staring into Max's eyes was a little bit taxing. "Just- just think about it, okay?" Max thought about it.