September 27th 2003 Loughborough

Alex had hated the train journey to Loughborough, traveling across London was shit. He was in for a physical, meeting with the nutritionist and the team psychiatrist over the weekend as well as the training sessions. He was not the youngest team member, but he was still only sixteen and a complete unknown as he had not previously made it to the national championships.

The national sports centre pool was 50m and ten lanes. Alex went through his usual warm up and then did four lengths each of each stroke for the two coaches and the sports scientists. His performance was videoed for review. There were no other Paralympians there this weekend. Alex had to fit his training with his study schedules. Alex's nearest 50m pool was in Guildford, a 40 minute train ride from home. Loughborough was an hour and a half away.

Alex sat with his bag on his lap looking over the interview table. "You swim well, Alex, but there is plenty of room for improvement. You broke the S8 record at the Southern championships."

"Yes" Alex did not roll his eyes nor add the cheeky comment on the tip of his tongue.

"Now that is quite unusual." Nigel Collingwood rechecked the paperwork. The kid had been at an able bodied swim meet. "We normally spot talent at schools level. So which school do you swim for?"

"I don't. I didn't really do sports at school. I used to sit on the side or swim laps on my own. According to Mr. Carlton cripples aren't winners." Brookland was now a memory, Alex had chosen to take A Levels with Becka at Lambeth Further Education College.

Nigel inwardly cringed at that comment. "So, you swim for South London?"

"Third reserve purely on the fact I never missed a practice for over a year. So, if four swimmers drop out I go. In fact, the southern championships were the first time I made the team. I train with Mark Lumbly sometimes, he's a C5, he came fifth in the nationals last year." Alex put his bag on the floor. This interview was dragging on. Alex thought it would be a straight you're on the team, great, good job.

"So you've had no real professional training or coaching."

"Bill Tavner corrects me sometimes, improved my turns a lot. But he's not a full time coach, just an helper, retired cop. The real coaches spend their time with the better swimmers. I like just training, doing laps."

"Right, OK." Nigel wondered how this kid had slipped through the net, surely someone should have noted the kid's talent and dedication. The team shrink would have to get the kid to realise he was world class. But the kid already just swam his own race. Something some swimmers never got. You could only swim as well as you could. It was all you're own game plan. "So what are your goals in the future?"

"For swimming S8 100m freestyle European record in April at the Nationals is do-able, Paralympic qualifying time definitely. Maybe try for 400m free or 200m individual medley." Alex then shrugged, "I don't know of my times are good enough for that though."

"What about Relay?" Team tactics might make Alex a bit more of a team player.

"You do relays?". That had caught Alex out.

"Its a bit different from the Olympics but yes we do relay both IM and Free. We will concentrate on those during the training weeks. We try different combinations of swimmers, different levels of abilities. So Bill mentioned you have a letter from your doctor?"

"Doctors. One from my Shrink, Rick and one from my GP regarding my dietary restrictions."

"Which are?"

"No dairy, no chocolate, I prefer not to eat red meat."

"Right. Are your parents vegan?"

"No just weirdos." Alex smiled at this after 18 months of Tom continually complaining at what Alex ate.

Nigel smiled at that. "What other training do you do?"

"Cycling. Both road and in the gym, pilates and weigh training. I was a real shrimp last year." Nigel was surprised not many double amputees cycled. He looked at this athletic, muscled and tall young man and could not imagine and a short underweight and scrawny kid. Alex then continued "I lost a lot of weight after my accident. I was ill on and off for the next year. I then really only shot up and put on muscle since my sixteenth birthday. I eat more meat and fish now. I really like sushi, ramen and tempura at the moment."

"Good, good. That will please the nutritionist. We won't have to wean you off eating crap."

"Yeah I had to give up coca cola though. I love that stuff and coffee."

"So you see a psychiatrist?"

"Twice a week." Alex took a deep breath. "Rick explains it all in the letter in nice clinical terms, but I was adopted when I was 14. Before that my uncle brought me up, badly. Neglect, abuse. I'm pretty self reliant and independent. I tend not to react to adult supervision very well. I get to talk about that lots with Rick. Some things I don't want to discuss with the shrink here. He only needs to deal with racing. Period. All other stuff is Ricks domain." Alex was shifting on his seat and looking at the door.

"OK Alex." Nigel noted the boys slight agitation. "So you're doing A'Levels."

"Yeah I did really well in my GCSE's, better than I thought I'd do. A* in Maths, ICT, Russian and Double English and A's in History, Double Science, French and Spanish, B in German and a C in citizenship.

"12 GCSE's."

"Yeah after missing six months of school in Years 9 and 10, not bad. I'd like to do my A Levels this year. Its possible. I already did two terms of course work at Brookland last year."

"So, clubs or other activities."

"No. I don't do clubs. I took part in the school theatre production last year. Didn't go back to drama club after christmas."

"Are you bullied?" Nigel asked as it was a fairly standard problem with kids coming through the school system.

"No more than anyone else." Alex shrugged again.

"Nicknames?"

"Psycho." Thank God, the Druggie nickname was a thing of the past though Alex.

"Because?"

"I'm a nutcase." Alex smiled. "I was the only kid in school in regular therapy."

"Police record?"

"Two arrests. No convictions."

"Really?"

"It was just after Ian died, my uncle. I was in the system and did not like it. I settled down when I was adopted. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"I might have been questioned about some alleged hacking." Alex stated. They could not prove it was him so everyone in the Computer Science class had been told off. Jon had complimented Alex on his technique for hacking into John Rider's file at SIS. It have given all the chaps at encryption a good work out. Alex had been made to apologize to the whole of the encryption and computer maintenance department and had to tell them exactly how he had got around their firewall and security encryption.

"Is this likely to happen again?"

"No. I'm not allowed computer access unsupervised at college or at home now." SIS was also monitored his home computer and phone full time and probably the college ones as well.

"I'll make sure it extends to here then."

"Just to let you know I'm good at breaking passwords and I can also pick most locks." Alex then smiled.

"Right, go and see Mary our nutritionist. I'm afraid its twenty questions again."

"Super."

Nigel thought about the new team member, an orphan who had been in foster care, in trouble with the police and proud of his criminal abilities. He then read the letter from Richard Montrose, which was detailed and long. PTSD, depression, violent outbursts. Therapy and Anger management had dealt with most of those. Alex had physically attacked a fellow pupil after bullying incident at Brookland in Year 11. Confrontations with teachers. Internal exclusion on two occasions. Alex still unsure of sex and sexuality, at some point he would approach others regarding this. Montrose had put down Alex isprobably bisexual. Be aware Alex is susceptible to sexual abuse. Alex had been groomed from an early age to expect to be used sexually. Nigel put his head in his hands and then went to talk to Andy the shrink. This kid was a potential nightmare.

Andy spoke with Richard Montrose, Andy knew that Montrose worked out of Great Ormond Street and St. Dominic's. He specialised in the treatment of children who had undergone torture and children sold as slaves and groomed for prostitution. His talk with his colleague had only added to Andy's questions rather than answered then. Alex had already told Rick what could be discussed, very little in fact. Alex obviously had an open and very good relationship with Rick, which was healthy, but Alex was obviously in need of therapy.

Andy sat down and waited for Alex to arrive. Andy already had a file started for Alex.

Alex knew Andy must have already talked to Rick. Goody, Andy would want to know everything. Alex smiled like a cheshire cat and said hello. Play time.

"So Andy, just to let you know I have been in therapy since my accident. Intensive every day for two months then twice a week since then. My accident happened on the 24th July 2001, two boats collided on holiday in Cuba, my then foster parents were killed. Swimming has been part of my physical therapy since then."

"Do you like winning?"

"I have very little experience of winning. I have never swum with swimmers in my classification. So I normally come last."

"Does that bother you?"

"No, I generally improve my times. I can only swim as fast as I swim. I'm normally unable to beat my able bodied team mates, so why worry about it. The few times I have beaten guys at London, they got very upset about it. In fact, Derek physically assaulted me when I beat him, so winning is sometimes not a good thing."

"Was he banned?"

"No he changed clubs. He didn't want to train with a cripple." Alex noted that that statement caused Andy to scribble a short note.

"What sports did you do before your accident?"

"Running, cycling, swimming, football and karate. I was a 1st dan black belt at Karate and a scout from Chelsea had already tried to get me to apprentice there, my uncle turned them down."

"So you were always sporty?"

"Very. I always did physical activities on holiday with my uncle. Diving, water skiing, mountain climbing, kayaking and such."

"Sounds like fun."

"Yeah you'd think so. Ian also taught me lots of other useful things." Alex did not add 'How to pick locks, how to steal, how to drive a car, how to suck cock'.

Andy looked at Alex, guessing he was onto something, "How do you feel about Ian?"

Alex closed his eyes as that loaded question was asked. "I'm glad the bastard's dead." Alex did not add that he had met his uncles murderer and had sex with him. Alex still thought he was a sick little fuck for doing that. Maybe it was all revenge against Ian. Alex could not say he had not enjoyed sex. Yassen had been rough, brutal unforgiving. Everything Alex had needed to forever expunge Ian from the physical act if not from his nightmares. Funny he hated Ian, but his feelings for Yassen were much more confusing. Alex stared at the shrink and frostily stated "I don't want to talk about Ian. I get enough questions about that relationship from Rick. I still can't believe I used to hero worship that twisted fucker." Yeah Alex you still hero worship Yassen Gregorovich and that is so much more healthy. Alex knew there were tears in his eyes, before he reigning everything in and abruptly standing up. "I think were done here".

Alex went for a walk around the modern university campus. Fuck he'd probably just fucked everything up here. No way he'd make the team as he was too much of a fucking headcase. He phoned Rick. Calming, understanding Rick.

Alex then went back in and swam, swimming cleared his head. Nigel and Andy watched Alex Fletcher-Smith swim laps. Boy the kid knew how to push himself without instruction or encouragement. The boy by willpower alone had got himself up to international standard. All they had to do was guide him and keep him calm. Nigel thought maybe meditation and yoga might help.