Rey woke up abruptly, painting and all sweaty.

She has had a nightmare, one of many after the Luke Skywalker's death. She turned around in her cot, a sort of hammock made by knot, and she looked around her. Under her bed there was Rose who was sleeping, and with her the other Resistance's women, all asleep. There was even Leia Organa, sitting uncomfortably on a chair. Her expression seemed grieving during her sleep as well.

Rey felt fragile, weak both in body and mind. It was like the Force has suddenly abandoned her: her training weren't no more successful like months ago, her concentration was precarious and things in the Resistance went from bad to worse. Their hope got more and more labile; by contrast, the First Order, thanks to his new, young and powerful Supreme Leader, was becoming simply unstoppable. Kylo Ren didn't care about anything: he took part in every battle, he scared everyone with his only presence, he won and then he expanded his empire.

…And he refused to see Rey again, by the way.

After he confessed her his love, Kylo just disappeared and the girl ended up thinking that the lack of the Force in her body was caused by him and his distance. Rey sensed no more his presence around her, and she felt weird, annoyed at it. Kylo Ren was like an unfinished business, an upset thing in her mind which demanded attention every single hour of the day.

Kylo Ren, she couldn't stop thinking about Kylo Ren. At first because she saw him too often, now because she saw him too rarely. At first because he tried to kill her, now because he tried to kiss her.

"Tried"… It wasn't an attempt, by the way, it was a real kiss she shared with him without rebelling.

"I was paralyzed, he tied me up with his power" she repeated in her mind, as if she wanted to justify herself "I couldn't do anything but kiss him"

But the problem was that she couldn't persuade herself as well…

However, Rey decided to get up, kept laying and worrying couldn't be useful at all. She got dressed quickly - she didn't love being naked, not since when the Supreme Leader could show up in a second in front of her- and got to the chipped piece of glass used by all as a mirror. She looked herself less quickly than usual and stared at her bare face. As a girl, Rey felt herself quite insignificant. She didn't know why Kylo Ren was attracted by her, an elegant and good looking man like him was supposed to be interested in another type of girls, not in a scavenger like her… Rey blushed, looked quickly away from her reflection and started styling her hair.

-BB-8?- she exclaimed to the round droid, which rolled toward her -Would you like to go for a walk?-

The droid beeped affirmatively and went outside, with the melancholy girl.

Another melancholy boy, at two thousand light-years away from her, was looking at his fingertips,.

-Supreme Leader Ren?- exclaimed an old commander, bowing in front of Ren like a servant. Kylo looked at him, without changing his expression.

-Speak, commander-

-Supreme Leader, I have some good news to say. We have finally localized the Resistance's base, they're in the Mid Rim, a few light-years away from here- he said, fierce and proud -It takes only two weeks of travel through hyperspace lanes, less or more, my lord-

It was a good notice apparently, nevertheless Ren wasn't glad to hear it. He secretly felt upset, scare, but he looked straight at his subordinate, tough and intimidating, hiding his personal turmoil.

-Well done- he lied with his dark and deep voice, stiff.

-Thank you, my lord. May I give the order for the hyperspace jump?-

Kylo paused and noticed Hux and the elderly First Order's officers who stared at him with hubris. Their expectations made him feel pressured and proud at the same time, and Ren was quite proud, the last thing he wanted was to show them weakness.

-Of course, Commander, give the order- Kylo answered hardly, challenge all of them with his gaze -And be sure that the Star Destroyer's apparatus were all functioning at full capacity. I wanna see that planet exploding-

Hux and the others smirked, malicious.

Rey had been walking for an hour.

It was early in the morning and this planet, chosen as a new, secret base of the Resistance, was still asleep. The silence was quite peaceful, she could hear only the watercourses and the rustling breeze, she felt like she was in haven.

-I might stay here forever, BB-8- Rey exclaimed to the droid -It's a good place to live in-

The droid beeped happily, Rey smiled at it and sighed deeply. The wild nature was beautiful indeed, but she felt alone, and that sad sensation increased every day more.

-I think we can go back, now, can't we?- she asked to the droid, but it didn't answer anymore -BB-8? Are you still there?-

And then, suddenly, something in the air changed. Rey sensed a sort of powerful current, an electric wind which brought a sense of lightness opposite of the gravity force, giving the impression to levitate up in the air…

The Force

Rey opened her eyes, looking at him. Kylo Ren, with his black uniform but without his mask, was staring at her with her same, surprised expression. Like her, he wasn't used to their sudden meetings. They looked at each others, stiff.

-I thought I've never seen you again- Rey started with a sad tone, breaking the ice -Not in this way, I mean-

-In fact, I didn't mean to see you- he answered, bitter. He looked afflicted more than usual.

-So, why didn't you resist to the Force?- asked Rey, tiredly.

-Because I wanted to know if you have thought about us- he strived to be honest -You've to tell me, Rey. It's my right-

-I thought about it- Rey answered, taking a deep breathe. "I thought about it every second of every day" she spoke to herself.

-But there's no future if you keep acting like this- she pointed his black uniform -I fight for the Resistance and you're the Supreme Leader, how can it work if you…-

-If I'm a monster?- he anticipated her, coldly.

-I didn't mean it-

-Don't worry. I get it- Kylo said, quickly -Sorry for the kiss-

Rey got speechless, she didn't expect a reaction so marked and negative,

-Kylo Ren!- she called him, stunned -It's not for a kiss you have to be sorry!-

-But it's the only thing I regret- he lied, in order to redeem his ego.

-Ok, do as you please- she concluded, blushing -But get out of this forest-

-Gladly. I don't wanna stay in this swamp one more second-

-Well- she hissed

-Well!- he hissed too, louder.

They turned back to back, both angry and wayward, but their spiteful bond didn't break.

Rey stared at the nothing, her arms crossed, but she sensed clearly the Kylo Ren's presence still behind her back. The Supreme Leader tried to focus strongly on the bond, he clenched his fists for breaking this inappropriate link, but in vain.

-The Force doesn't want to tear us apart!- he snapped, turning to her -I can't leave this…- he looked around, perplexed -What kind of planet is this?-

-This is the planet Ta…- But Rey stopped talking, biting her tongue -I will not tell you the name of the Resistance's base, Supreme Leader!-

Kylo Ren smiled inadvertently. Rey looked him with surprise, his smile was incredibly similar to that of Han Solo, no doubt.

-I tried my luck- he admitted.

-You're trying to do too many things, recently-

-But at least I give myself the benefit of the doubt- Kylo provoked her -And, Rey, one last thing. Have a shower, you smell like a wild cat-

The girl got deeply ashamed, her proud blooded for humiliation -I'm not elegant or fragrant like you- she said, indeed - But I still have the courage to look in a mirror-

The Kylo's grim faded away.

-I presume you're right- he agreed with Rey -I'm sorry again for that unfortunate incident. I just wanted to know what does it feel like- he confessed, -I've never tried it before-

The confession made Rey feel lost -Really?-

-Do you think I'm pathetic?-

-No! Of course, not- she answered, too quickly.

-Thank you, because I do-

Her heart skipped a beat, her stomach was tighter than a knot.

-Kylo Ren!?- Rey called him agitate, couldn't hold her tongue -I've never tried it before, too. Do you think I'm pathetic?-

For the second time, he smiled -No- he answered -Thank you-

-You're welcome- she whispered, holding her breathe and looking at him with another type of gaze, less unfriendly and contemptuous. He stepped closer to her.

-Aren't you curious to try?-

-To try what?-

He smirked and raised an eyebrow, she blushed.

-I simply don't think about it- she spoke quickly, embarrassed -And it's not your concern, by the way-

-You're right, but…- he clenched his fists and plucked up the courage - If you want to try some… New experience, just ask-

-Ask you?- she said, with a smile of disbelief -Sure, ehr… Thanks for your generous proposal, Supreme Leader, but no, I'm fine-

-Why not?- he blurted out, bursting like a bomb -I'm a man, you're a woman, we are adult, we can use this fold in any way we want, and if you want…-

-That's enough, Ren!- she stopped him, shaking her head -This conversation never happened, ok!?-

-I see. Nevermind- he spoke contrite, needing desperately something to kill or destroy -I think the contact is snapping, isn't it?- he added, for changing the subject.

-Yes, it is. I feel it too- Rey, unlikely Kylo, was looking into his eyes. There was a part of him incredibly fragile and tender, and the more she knew him, the more it got clear.

-See you soon-

-In a battlefield- she added

-In a battlefield, of course-

When Ren was totally disappeared and the bond got broken, BB-8 restarted working and beeped nervously for the unexpected blackout, but Rey totally ignored it: she was too busy staring at the point where Kylo has just vanished.

"To all the Jedi masters" she prayed "Please, help me"

Meanwhile, in the Resistance base the atmosphere got more and more heavy. The Resistance's heroes were running short for supplies and the planet, where they momentarily lived, could offer them only roots, sourish fruits and not always eatable. The marine fauna was composed above all by small amphibians and there weren't no other form of life, excepted for enormous, poisonous birds.

Rey got into the central room with a silly smile in the face, while people were arguing. Finn quickly called her.

-Hi, Finn- she whispered, still with her head in the clouds -What's going on?-

-The usual. They're arguing because if we stay here, then we'll starve to death; but if we leave this planet, the Frist Order'll trace us and we'll die anyway- answered Finn, like it were nothing -General Organa tried to find a solution-

-Easy- joked Rey, and then looked at Leia. She was a laudable woman, the strongest and bravest Rey's ever known. And she was his mother…

-And you, Rey? Did you sleep in?- Finn asked with a friendly smile, chewing a sort of brown root.

-No, I went out for a walking-

-Hm, did it clear your ideas?-

-No, I got more confuse-

Finn laughed a little -Great! What's the matter?-

Rey waited before talking, she was really conflicted. Could she trust Finn? Could she trust anyone in the whole, damn galaxy? The boy almost guessed her thoughts.

-Rey, please, talk with me. I know there's something you're worried about, but if you don't talk to anyone…-

Rey looked down -Finn, have you ever been in love?-

Finn flinched and blushed -What!? Wow, that's unexpected… But, don't… Don't tell me he's Dameron, because…-

Rey laughed embarrassed -What the hell, no! No! It's only a question, I'm just curious-

-Curious? Wait a moment- added Finn, his face got suddenly serious. She looked at his frown, alarmed -I get what you're hiding!-

Rey held her breathe, her look became a mask of terror.

-Finn- she called as she wanted to calm him -Please, let me explain-

-It's Chewbacca!- he joked, giggling like a child. She closed her eyes and took a small breathe of relief -Come on, Rey, admit it! You have a thing for hirsute Wookiees!-

-You're such a moron!- she forced a smile, even if she felt on embers. Surely, she found, have an affair with Chewie would be less shameful and unthinkable than a love story with the Supreme Leader.

-Anyway, love is a concept too relative for being taught- Finn continued -And I'm not an expert, but if you start thinking more often about him than yourself, it's probably that you're in love-

Rey thought about that and nodded a little. Did she think more often about Kylo Ren than herself? Absolutely and disastrously yes.

-Rey? To love someone is not a crime- Finn said, watching her worried face -Just go and say it to him-

-No, I'm not that kind of girl who fall in love- she answered, blushing -Really, I'm not interested-

-Sure… We're all secure about it. But then we're attracted to love like droids are attracted to magnets-

Kylo Ren has never been more uncomfortable.

"I'm such an idiot! A pathetic, aroused, ugly idiot!" he snarled to himself "What will she think of me now? And what was I thinking about!? That she would have sex with me? Really? How much moron am I? She neither took my hand…"

He felt so week and desperate, but he tried not to blow off steam against his throne room: his hand has been blooding enough. Rey will never love him, it was clearly obvious. She was so perfect, so pretty and good like an angel, she could never be interested in an ugly, evil, big noised man with a scar. And she had never thought he was handsome, by the way. He had just lied.

"Fuck!" he thought "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! … Her" he stopped to breathe, it made his skin crawl. Fuck her, yes. Totally, beautifully yes. It would be like a dream, and he would be gentle with her, he would stroke her, lick her, made her moan and cry, until she beg him to go harder… Kylo closed his eyes and start to imagine clearly her naked body, her small breast and her legs spread apart for him, for the first time for him…

-NOT AGAIN!- Rey appeared abruptly, her pretty legs half naked -I can't even have a shower in peace, that you…- but as soon as she saw his erection, she stopped yelling. Her face got purple.

-Sorry- he said, putting quickly a robe over his thighs -I think it's my fault. I'm so sorry-

-Uhm… Don't worry- she answered, embarrassed to the death.

-Please, could you stop looking at me?-

-Yes, sure- Rey answered, looking away from his pelvis. She gave him her back. She didn't wear a pants, he noticed, only a long shirt she was trying to push desperately down.

-So… How are you?- Rey asked, trying to distract herself from that awkward situation.

-Do I really have to answer?-

-No, you don't- Rey said, feeling stupid -It's just for talking-

-I don't wanna talk. Guess what I'd like to do-

Rey closed her eyes, gasping -Stop talking about it and stop thinking of me in that way, thanks. It sucks-

Her words were like a stab in his sternum.

-I wasn't thinking about you- he lied, became worried -I was thinking about women, and sex. Can I?-

She rolled her eyes and turned to look at him with disapproval.

-What? I'm a man and I like women- he justified himself -There's nothing wrong with me-

-Good to know, but I didn't ask for explanation-

-And you? Do you never think about men?- he asked impulsively. He had nothing more to lose, by now.

-Find a girlfriend, Ren- she said, rattled and exhausted, looking at him like he was a beetle.

-Come on, do you like, I don't know, blond, tanned boys with blue eyes or maybe dark, ugly men with a scar?-

In spite of everything, he made her smile -It's none of your business and…Ugly?- she asked, amused -Aren't you supposed to be handsome?-

-I wasn't talking about me- he joked.

-Of course- she smiled again. He smiled too, and his heart was about to burst. She smiled twice…

-Rey?-

-Yes?-

-I lied. I was actually thinking about you-

-I know- she lowered her eyes.

-And?-

-What? What I have to add?-

-I don't know, just… Just give me a chance-

-Give you a chance? Give a chance to the First Order's Supreme Leader? To the man who tried to kill me, my friends and who killed a lot of innocent people?- she said, serious and resolute -I might forgive you and put up with you, even be your friend, but I could never love you. I'm sorry-

If words could kill… Kylo Ren looked at her and suddenly the anger started to take him.

-How can you know it in advance?- he asked, rough -You know nothing about me-

-I know too much of you, all I need for being secure that I will never love you- she insisted, losing her temper -Neither if you were the last man on the whole galaxy. Get it!?-

-Get it, but tell me, who is the lucky bastard do you think of when you touch yourself?- he asked, thinking about his lightsaber -Just to know-

-I DON'T… OH, STOP IT!- she snarled, turned look at him with rage -WE ARE ENEMIES! Is that clear in your damaged, pervert brain?-

-Stop yelling at me- he hissed, on the edge of tolerance.

-I yell at you how much I want!- she screamed -I don't love you, Kylo Ren, do you get it!? I will never love you, so stop to be such an asshole or I'll kill you!-

Then, the Kylo Ren's fury exploded. He assaulted her, taking violently her hips and thrust her against the wall like she was a feather. As always, she tried to fight back but he was too strong for her to reject, because the force involved was another kind of force, the brutal and worldly one, owned above all by men. He pushed her to the ground, standing her bold kicks and scratches with his muscular, massive body.

For the second time, they started to combat, but in a different way… They both love fighting, if that wasn't clear.

She bit him in the neck and in every part she could, she pulled his hair and scratched aggressively his scar, made it blood and burn painfully, but it wasn't enough. His hard pelvis kept push against her legs and she felt his organ so clearly that a strange, adrenalized excitement made her feel wet.

-So, is the fucking black traitor the man you think of, scavenger? Because I'm gonna kill him definitely-

-Go to hell!-

He tried to block her arms and to fight her rebel, naked legs with his own body, loving above the pain the feeling of her closeness and her biting, wet mouth on his skin.

-Leave me!- she shouted, biting his chin and fighting against his big hands.

-Don't move!- Kylo snarled, but she kept struggling and biting like a snake -Don't move, I said!-

"Kick him in the balls!" Rey said to herself, but for an unteachable reason, she didn't. Probably for the same reason which drove Kylo not to paralyzed her with his mental Force.

-I'll kill you, bastard!- she shouted, rabid. She wasn't afraid of him, she was just full of the excitement of fighting and sensing his right hand near her lady parts.

-Want me to touch you?-

-Try it and I swear I'll kill you in the worse way I can-

-You little, lousy scavenger- he smiled with a wild look, his face close to hers -Come on, kill me if you can, little pretty Jedi. Do you remember? I can take whatever I want and if I want to fuck you now, I'll just fuck you now-

-Go to hell, monster- she hissed, leaning her purple, angry face forward him.

They looked at each others, one above the others, both full of hate and rage, of grudge and… of desire, bestial, sexual desire. Kylo Ren rudely kissed her grumpy lips, she bit him but she stroke his tongue with hers as well. They kissed and bit at the same time and almost without realizing it, Rey spread her legs and gave him the chance to push his pelvis between them. She flinched and exhaled deeply, it was unexpectedly wonderful. He did it again, and Rey felt her body spasm for pleasure, just like his.

-I think I could die- she heard him cry -Thank you-

Her bites got more infrequent, her moving, rebel legs got calm around his hips, until she stopped fighting and started to indulge her own urge. He thrusted again and again, blinded by pleasure just like he was making love with her for real, and even if they were both dressed, they came to their happy end. He collapsed on her with a heavy breathe and she sensed clearly when his trousers got soaked.

Rey laid under him for some minutes, stiff and cooled, her eyes were wide open to the shiny celling of the First Order.

-What we've done- she whispered a few minutes later, angsty -Oh, my…-

-It's my fault. I'm sorry, I basically raped you-

-No, you didn't-

-I did. I'm so desperately sorry-

-Stop blame yourself, we did it together- she insisted, with a sinful tone -And I enjoyed it. Is this the dark side?- she asked worried, looking at his watery eyes.

-No. It's just sex. But do you really enjoy it? Want me to do it again?-

-Shut up- she said, roughly.

"… And yes, do it again" she thought.

Notes

Rey, Rey, Rey… In Italy there's an old saying that sounds like this: "Chi disprezza, compra". It means "who despises it, ends up buying it anyway". If you know what I mean... ;)

Let me know if you like the chapter and if it's still suitable for a rater T, I think yes but I'm not secure... thanks!