Trigger warning: mention of miscarriage
The tango had been… interesting to say the least. Draco truly was sex when he tangoed and Hermione was on board. She pressed her hips toward him with each turn, she gripped his hand tightly, she locked her eyes into his with each spin. He resisted her at every chance. Except the last 5 minutes. The last 5 minutes were foreplay as far as she was concerned.
When they pulled away, Madame Baile had deemed them sufficient for the day. She had given them homework of course to dance every day, which Hermione knew would never happen, but she agreed none the less. Draco tried to escape, but Narcissa was quicker.
"Draco, darling. I don't believe Hermione has had the chance to spend much time with Columba. A winged horse as majestic as that will start to pine for its companion. Do escort her to the stables dear." Narcissa kissed his cheek after giving her subtle order.
"Of course mother, right this way Miss Granger."
Hermione scoffed. That was rich coming from the man that felt up her bum while they were dancing. Surely that deserves a first name address.
The night was breezy and Draco reluctantly cast a warming charm on them while they walked. He very pointedly did not look in her direction. He didn't want to fight with her, especially not when she was wearing that, and not wearing anything else.
"Draco, are you going to ignore me the rest of the night?" Hermione brazenly asked.
"I'm trying to," Draco responded without looking at her.
"Are you succeeding?" She stopped on the path underneath a willow tree.
"Hermione, I told you I needed time. You can't force me to get over this. You love someone else." He crossed his arms.
"Draco, we really need to talk about Theo but I won't force it on you. All I can say is that Theo is my past, and you are my future. I want a future with you. Can't you see that."
"If the marriage law wasn't in place, you'd be with him."
"No. I wouldn't be with Theo, I wasn't with him the past 4 years. I'm yours to take Draco, you're just too stubborn to take me."
"You don't think I want to take you?" He uncrossed his arms and shouted at her "how can I take you, when you belong to someone else. How can I make love to you and know that your heart is with someone else? How can I fall for you when I KNOW it's not me you want?" His face was pained as he looked at her.
"I can't do this Hermione! The rest of our lives I will never believe that you're mine."
"I HAD A MISCARRIAGE YOU AWFUL SOD!" Hermione was bawling now. But she was resigned. She choked back her tears and carried on.
"We went on holiday, he was going to propose, and I was going to say yes. I found out I was pregnant earlier in the week. One drunken night we forgot the potion, but I was thrilled. I thought he would be too. Everything was falling into place and my life was going to be perfect. Then I found the will."
"Ahh, Theo's father was quite the Bastard wasn't he. What did he say, marry a muggleborn and no more money?"
"It was a blood will."
"What?" Draco was shocked, "not even Lucius would have done that! Not that mother would have ever let him, but I guess Theo didn't have a mother to look after his interests like that."
"No he didn't. Well, I freaked out. I paced around the estate for hours trying to figure out what to do. I had a few panic attacks. Theo sent me an owl saying that the paperwork was taking a lot longer than normal and that he would have to take a portkey in the morning. I took it as a sign. I packed my bags and I left. I apparated into town, it was raining. I was stupid, and it was all my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going, and all I remember is seeing the motorcycle headlights before it crashed into me." She paused.
"Hermione," Draco said with more softness in his voice. "It wasn't your fault."
"No it was, you don't understand! I was selfish. I wanted Theo more than I wanted the baby. I was punished for thinking that way. I never could have gone through with an abortive potion, but the fates took the baby anyways."
Draco was stunned into silence.
"I woke up in a muggle hospital, 3 broken ribs, broken leg, shattered right arm. I wouldn't tell them my name, and I wouldn't go to St. Mungos. They tried to save the baby but, the trauma was too much. I was only 6 weeks along, but I realized afterwards how much I loved it. The baby."
"Why didn't you go back to Theo afterwards and tell him everything. Marry him, adopt with him."
"The accident broke what Theo and I had. I thought I wanted Theo more than the baby, but I didn't. I blamed Theo for the curse, and I blamed him for not telling me about the will. I would have been more careful if I would have known the true consequences.
I can't forgive him for not telling me about the will. I'll never forgive him for that. That's why I didn't go back to him. I was selfish the way I ended things, I was a bitch that didn't give him an explanation, but I couldn't face him. I still loved him, but I also hated him. I hated myself. Everything I ever wanted was within my grasp and it shattered just like my arm in the crash.
I went to Ron's flat and stayed for months. I didn't tell anyone I was home. I wouldn't talk to him and I forbade him from telling anyone I was home. I made him make a wizard's oath. I just mourned the baby, and Theo, over and over again for months."
Draco closed the distance and engulfed her in a hug. But because Draco couldn't help himself he asked her, "what song did you play?"
"What?" Hermione asked through her tears.
"What song did you play for three months that Ron hated so much?"
Hermione laughed at him, breaking up the tension. "Oh Merlin, poor Ron. He put up with a lot during that time. The song was: Killing me softly by the Fugees."
"Oh." Said Draco. "Good song."
—
By the time Hermione got back to her flat, Harry was waiting for her. He took one look at her smudged makeup, wild hair, and her naked dress before declaring, "I can see this is a bad time. I'll come back later."
"Harry James Potter, you will do no such thing. Sit on the couch and I'll be back in a minute. I'm just going to clean myself up."
Harry sat on the couch. He planned on making her beg for forgiveness for trusting Ron over him, he planned on a little groveling, maybe a bit of begging, but all that went out the window now.
She changed into Draco's jersey and some warm yoga pants before washing her face and returning to the living room.
"I take the jersey as a good sign." Harry said as he pulled her into a hug.
"Yes, we finally talked. I told him about Theo."
"Good Hermione. I hope you both can move past this now and figure out your relationship. Was the dress for seduction or revenge?"
"Seduction of course."
"Oh. Bollocks, please tell me you didn't have angry sex for your first time together."
Hermione laughed, "of course not. He's just a poor itty bitty pureblood with old fashioned ideals. We're waiting until marriage."
"Really?" Harry asked, shocked.
"No, that's just what he told our dance instructor Madame inappropriate."
"Ahh. The lessons. How goes it at torture Manor?"
"Harry! That is not funny." She smacked him before pulling out of their hug, "It wasn't that bad, but I was hell bent on getting Draco to talk to me so I didn't pay much mind to Lord Malfoy."
"Another issue for another day. So how awkward are you going to be at the engagement party? Do I need to bring some valium?"
"Tut tut, self medicating is not the answer. I'm not sure, I will be attending with Draco at least." She said with relief.
"I don't know how to face Theo again. It doesn't seem fair to ignore him anymore, especially after Ron opened his big fat mouth."
"Don't pretend you're not grateful to Ron for dropping that bomb on Theo. Now you can have a conversation with him without having to reveal that fact."
"You're probably right. I should floo Ron back. He really did do me a favor."
"I'm sorry I orchestrated that brunch from hell."
"It's okay, I thought it was a great idea at the time, I just should have checked the guest list first. I'm sorry I confided everything to Ron and left you in the dark for years. I would have been furious if you did that to me."
"It's okay. I love you 'Mione."
"Love you too Potter."
—
"I have an idea for you, but you're not going to like it." Ginny told her on the couch that Friday before the engagement party.
"What's your idea?" Hermine responded skeptically.
"Well you need to clear the air with Theo, or rather you think you owe him that much, but you can't bare to be in the same room with him right?"
"Yes, that pretty much covers it." Hermione agreed with a sad frown.
"So why don't you give him the memories and your journal from that year."
"So he can view them in a pensive?"
"Yes. It would give him all the information, you think he has a right to, and it would keep you from having to go through the emotional trauma of reliving it."
"That is a terrible idea. He shouldn't be required to go through all my painful memories, just because I'm too much of a scaredy cat to face him."
"Hermione. I know you, you're not ready to have these frank conversations with him. He needs to know now though, before he marries Luna. You need to do this for Luna at the very least. Have you even spoken to her since she was matched with him?"
"No. I have not."
"Of course not, because you can't handle it right now. All this stress is too much for you. Give him the memories and the journal. I really think it's the best way."
"Merlin, you're right. It does seem like a sensible thing to do."
"You need to give him the memories and journal in person. Tonight, before you change your mind. You'll never get through the party and all the events coming up if you don't."
"Fine. Please come with me."
"Oh no! I don't want any part of that. Not my domain, too emotionally heavy for me."
"Ginny! It was your idea! I can't go alone. Please."
"Fine, but I am sitting by the floo and making a break for it as soon as possible."
Hermione gathered a vial and started to think, pulling out memories as she thought of something relevant. Then she went to fetch her journal. She used her wand to copy the book and placed it on her bed.
"Okay, I'm ready, let's do this before I change my mind."
—
Theo was sitting on his chaise lounge when they arrived. Immediately they locked eyes.
"Hermione? What are you doing here? Why did you bring Ginny?"
"I… I… couldn't face you alone." He stood up to come closer and she put her hand out stopping him. "Look, I'm really not ready to see you, but I can't put this off any longer." She put her vial and journal down on the coffee table.
"Here are my memories from our time together, and my journal. I hope this can offer some closure to you. I'm really sorry Theo." She burst into tears and raced to the floo, calling out for her flat. Leaving a gaping Ginny and a devastated Theo in her wake.
"Ginny," Theo said approaching her. "Is this the only way?"
"Yes Theo, this is the only way," Ginny said sadly as she stepped back in the floo following her friend.