Realised, I've made our darling wolf a little softer than she should be. I've been too nice to Leah recently…Here's more trouble, discovered my ability to mess everything up :) (Oh and happy…ah…Valentines? Forever alone day?)
I probably should have seen it coming. Not that I knew enough about Klaus to actually know anything just yet, but it seemed pretty obvious that I should have suspected this.
"Hi," I grumble and cringe. It's a pleasant surprise because Klaus has been ignoring me since the fire in the study, but I didn't picture myself in this state of undress when we finally started talking again. I'd somewhat vainly hoped he'd be off doing God only knows what when I got back from my wild dash through the forest at one in the morning.
Klaus just stands there with a quirked eyebrow, his face as beautifully mocking as always. "New fashion, I presume, Clearwater?" If he wasn't so damn vampirey-sexy I might have considered smashing his face in.
My lips harden and I narrow my eyes, he is so not funny. I keep quiet, refusing to answer to his ply for amusement. He can laugh at me all night - um, morning - if he wants to, but I'm not giving him the fuel for it. I was partially tired and the freaky Klaus-vision along with seeing Daimon making out with Elena…yeah, I needed some sleep.
"The silent treatment? How adult," he mocks and I have to fight the urge to stick my tongue out, it would only prove him right.
"It's called 'Wolf couture'," I grumble sarcastically and Klaus' lips twitch into a smug smirk. If I wasn't as miffed at him at that moment, I might have prided myself in that expression.
"I see," he steps forward and I struggle to keep still as he walks around me, I feel like a damn carnival show. What, was he going to mark his territory or something? "Let yourself go in the woods, then?" he delicately picks a leaf from my hair and I sigh in exasperation. "You should be careful," he sniffs the air so softly that I hardly notice it until he comments, "That scent is unmistakable."
I'm not sure what's more disturbing about this situation: that I'm half naked or that Klaus didn't seem to care one bit about giving me personal space. Perhaps both coupled together, Klaus close by while I'm virtually naked. Disturbing might not have been the right word for it actually.
I hear a soft chuckle and turn to find Hayley standing on the stairs a hand pressed over her mouth in an attempt to block out her laughter, I glower as best I can under the circumstances. My relationship with the hybrid since our chat hasn't really improved much. Granted, Hayley wasn't deliberate in her attacks anymore; our…relationship was less hostile, but just as prickly as before. There were many things we disagreed on, and more than half of them concerned Klaus. Naturally. A very clear conflict of interests, of course.
For some reason, seeing her standing there with that stupid smirk made me feel like I was waging an attention war with a sister over a brother's affections and it might just disturb me a little – a lot – that this so called 'brother' was incredibly good-looking. I purse my lips rather than offer a childish display of sticking out my tongue. I might have been the less appropriately dressed sister, but by damn I would be more mature! Even if such an act cost me my sanity.
"Hayley," I growl my greeting, with less finesse than I wished to accomplish, unfortunately.
She answers with a snicker and a once over that leaves me feeling completely bare. If Klaus hadn't been standing between us in that moment, I might have tried my hand at Hybrid murder.
But as it is, it makes me think of another snarky wolf I know and without preamble my lips start to tremble. Jake would have done the exact same thing and Seth would have grinned at it too. I hadn't allowed myself to dwell on those thoughts for quite some time, but it came back with a vengeance, taking advantage of my slip up.
Faces of my pack – my old pack – came bursting back into my mind, some faces I didn't like and other's I hardly spent the time getting to know in order to dislike. It hardly mattered though, it all hurt the same. And suddenly it was as if my heart had been ripped out all over again.
Seth…What was he doing? Was the dorky brat safe? Was he alone at that very moment? Or was he being used as vampire fodder? Was Jacob letting him spent so much time with the blood suckers as he had before I left? Was Jake looking after Billy all right? Did Embry still refuse to take off night shifts? Was Sam being as overbearing as usual?
I blinked slowly, Klaus and Hayley melting back into a jumbled scene of those stupid wolves scoffing down my carefully prepared lunch in a sparkling clean kitchen that at some point I had called my own. Were they eating properly? My fingers curled into fists and I shook my head slightly, the tremble of my lips worsening. They probably were; Emily would look after them, she was good like that. They didn't need me anymore. Emily was there, she was a good cook. Jacob was fastest after me; they shouldn't have any speed problems. I'm sure Seth was all the Clearwater they needed in their lives anyway.
Especially Sam, he didn't need me. None of them did. So why did I suddenly feel so lonely? It was the silence, I guessed and my throat began to ache. Where at the start I had revelled in the peace and quiet, even during my run, now I felt hollow.
Perhaps Seth would have been happy for my imprint, Jake would have teased me mercilessly, Sam…he probably wouldn't notice or care. Just like Klaus.
This is exactly the same. I gritted my teeth and tried to fight back a cry as I pushed past Klaus and hurtled up the stairs, hardly giving Hayley the time of day. This was the same…Klaus didn't need me, that strange dream I'd had was proof of it. I was an imposter here, just as I had been with Sam and Emily, an unwanted burden. I'm not sure how I managed to convince myself otherwise.
"Leah?" Hayley called, but her voice faded behind the slam of the bedroom door.
Klaus had Hayley to protect and care for, even if the hybrid said otherwise for their relationship. That hallucination from before highlighted my standing here... Granted it was painful, but I think it hurt more to realise I was reliving everything I'd done in Forks. Next I'd become bitter again, push everyone away, and then I'd do something stupid that almost gets me killed.
And I'll have to leave.
With nowhere to go this time.
No conveniently situated Cullens to nurse away my sorrows, or radical half-vampire memory magic to make me feel whole again.
I'm not entirely sure how long I sat curled up at the end of my bed – no, not my bed, nothing here was mine, not even my soul mate – and cried silent tears against my knees. After I was spent and realised I was still dressed in tattered clothing I made a somewhat conscious effort to stand and drag myself to my suitcase, albeit not too enthusiastically. I had no qualms about staying locked in the room with only scraps to cover my less than pleasing body. Only then did it occur to me that I had yet to unpack my things.
I stared at the case for a long while, frozen with my eyes focused on the jumble of fabric. Clothes that didn't belong to me anymore than the bag they were in, the room the bag was in or the town we happened to inhabit. None of it was mine, and I never thought I'd miss having something to myself as I did then. I tried to think of a single thing here that I could call my own, a ring or locket that I could have brought with, but I didn't wear jewellery. Not even a picture of Seth to ease the loneliness.
I wasn't sentimental.
Until now.
Perhaps I had known from the very beginning that this was how things would turn out. Hayley had said so herself on that first day: You'll be staying here, for now…Don't get too comfortable.
I was stupid, I got comfortable, and it made me crazy with fury.
For now, I repeat internally and suddenly my hands reach for the stupid suitcase. I grip it as tight as I can and with a ferocious snarl I twist my torso, littering clothes across the room as the bag flies and makes a crashing impact with the wall.
My body begins to vibrate in my rage, my incompetence, my willingness to fall into the same trap so many times. I kick at the fallen clothing, twist and smash my fists against the wall, plaster dusts around my fingers, but I don't care. I repeat it a few times, but it doesn't abet my restless energy. My breaths are coming too fast and the room spins wildly, or maybe that's me, I'm not sure. I feel alienated, trapped. The run should have eased off the tension earlier, but it hadn't, it had made it worse if possible.
They were memories, I assumed, that came with wanting to escape. That's what running did for me, escape, but there were already so many unpleasant memories linked to it…nothing could take it away.
No matter the guestimation*, my body couldn't handle the stress. With a low yowl I stumbled toward the door, my mouth already bursting and aching with teeth not meant for such a wide jaw. I burst out the room with as much grace as falling on a cactus could have been, still wearing the tattered clothing from before. No longer caring.
The beast inside me lunged to be set free and oddly it wanted to sink its jaws into Klaus. At the moment I wasn't entirely against the act. Ripping a hole into Klaus might just be what I needed and I couldn't formulate a good reason not to make him suffer. Although what was left of my sane mind protested and reminded that none of this was Klaus' fault, I really wanted to believe that it was his fault. That somehow letting him feel pain would allow mine to ebb away.
Perhaps he was too like Sam; bossy, uncaring, asshole Sam and perhaps he'd leave me and use me just as Sam had done. I have to stop him before he can hurt me, something crazed urged at the back of my head and I felt my spine bend as I staggered to the stairs.
I'm not too sure when I went from mostly human to complete wolf, but all I knew as I was bounding halfway down the steps was that I was on four legs instead of two and I could smell Klaus like a juicy steak waiting to be devoured. I snarled into the air and I knew without a doubt that my canines were flashing bright under the lights. My claws scrapped across the immaculately tiled floor, leaving behind scratches and emitting an ear slitting sound that made my ears sink further back against my head.
Before I can reach the last step Klaus is suddenly there at the bottom, his brows raised placidly but his eyes almost burning yellow, even as his lips part to release a soft breath. He looks ferocious. He looks like the terrifying creature I knew from vampire stories. He looked worthy of tearing apart. And, man, did I want to sink my parted canines past that pale flesh.
The wolf must still have recognised Klaus as its mate, because its tale twitches and my shoulders buckle, almost forcing me into a position of submission. But I'll have none of that. My jowls part around a venomous snarl, a warning, a threat, one that Klaus doesn't heed as he holds his ground in the face of a crazed female wolf. He doesn't seem surprised my clear anger, my desire to maim or the fact that I was an abnormally large wolf. Perhaps we both wanted to hurt each other, maybe we needed to let out this frustration on each other, yet I knew I would not let him win.
As a woman I was damaged, but as a wolf I was strong, wild and bursting with confidence in my abilities.
No, I wouldn't let him win. This was one fight that required no holding back, even the wolf seemed to agree that damaging our mate wasn't too bad an idea. We needed it. Perhaps he did too.
Without forewarning I lunged forward, jowls parted to snap over his shoulder. He turns to the side, faster than I'd seen him move before. My head swings after him, teeth gnashing in the air. His hand sinks into the fur at the back of my neck and pain shoots down my spine. Instead of yelping as I should have, I bark a malicious hiss and twist my body uncaring of the strains of fur that remains in Klaus' grip when I break lose.
I spin on him, he's fast, but so was I. He leaps back, my teeth ghost over the skin on his forearm. Enough to nick and leave a sting, but not enough to break skin.
Klaus answers my growl with one of his own; it makes my hind legs shake momentarily. We lunge at each other. His fingers are as strong as my claws; they sink below my fur, reach skin, and draw blood. I sink my teeth into the muscle of his leg, bitter blood leaks between my fangs.
We both growl, neither willing to release our hold, but both thrashing wildly in each other's grasps.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Hayley's frantic voice suddenly pierces through the chorus of snarls. When did she get here? I don't care, I keep my hold and so does Klaus.
My jaw aches and for a split second my teeth unlatch enough so that Klaus wrenches his leg from my mouth, the sound of flesh tearing fills my ears and Klaus snarls at the pain, but his hands sink deeper into my fur. I yelp and twist my body, throwing Klaus under me, smashing him into the ground with as much force as I can manage.
His arms slip and I scramble back to all four paws, my body sways, but I turn just as Klaus pushes himself up. Despite the ruby liquid running down his leg and his torn clothing, he looks delectable, a worthy mate. I yap at him angrily, offended that he can manage to look so good during our tousle. He snarls back and his eyes blaze that same bright shade, his fingers coated with my crimson blood.
My ears draw back even father and my canines show under my raised lips. I shove myself into the air, closing the distance rapidly, my eyes intent on my target. But I don't make it to him, two vines curl around my neck and lock, pushing me to the ground. A pained howl chokes out my throat, the arms tightening so far that my head spins and I can't scramble out of it quick enough to escape the unsettling feeling of being secured. The arms, which I vainly identify as Hayley's, draw closer and I feel them squeezing against my windpipe, crushing me.
My legs thrash; my eyes bugging and wild, hoarse yelps try to escape my collapsing throat.
"Leah!" the hybrid snaps and I belatedly realise that it's not a reassuring or calming tone, the hybrid is going to kill me.
Without preamble, I do the only thing I can, my body thrashes in a wild flurry of claws and suddenly Hayley's arms are loser. My breath rasps, but I don't let the second advantage go to waste, I shove my arm back, sending my elbow into the woman's side. As she curses, I buck, shoving her off my back. My fingers slip in Klaus' spilt blood and I slam back into the ground, smashing my chin against the floor. A pathetic cry parts my lips and for a moment my head spins.
It's enough for Hayley to jump on me again. Her fingers curl around my throat and my eyes bulge, because I know the next move is a quick twist to the side and I'm not looking forward to having my neck broken.
I could recover from almost anything, any injury; I'd seen it time and time again. We were durable and our recovery rate was astounding, I knew that already the holes Klaus had clawed in my back would have healed somewhat. But death wasn't something I could survive, I wouldn't be coming back from that.
Uh, Leah, you ruin everything!
Maybe you belong, kid, but your sister doesn't.
I don't care. You'll do as I say, understand?
Echoes of the past drown out my need to struggle against the inevitable. The fight drains out of me and I slump into Hayley's hands, simply waiting for her to do the work. I didn't have a reason to fight, I realised, why did I need to bother with trying to live? There wasn't anyone who needed me, I was alone and tired, I had nothing to call my own.
I felt the surge of energy in Hayley's hands at the back of my neck, closed my eyes and let out a strangled breath. This was okay. Her fingers tightened ever so slightly and I knew it was almost over.
"I'm sorry, Leah," her hands twisted.
Shorter…but for all intents and purposes…got depro Leah back (you may hate me, I do). Review?