Day of Birth
... ... ...
McCoy regained his consciousness slowly, blinking to get used to the light inside the room. He looked around, and two his left he saw probably the best picture in the entire world. Spock was sitting in the chair next to him, holding the sleeping baby in his arms. McCoy sat up, which caught Spock's attention. He handed the baby to him, carefully.
McCoy grinned down at the little bundle of life in his arms. She was warm, and more Vulcan than he had thought. He traced her tiny pointed ears with his fingers, and noticed the green tinge that her ears and cheeks had. It was strange to see that she still had bits of him in her as well. She had his lips, his slight frown, and who knew what else. Her ears and other Vulcany traits were no doubt from Spock. What bothered him a little, though, was that she was born about two weeks early. He looked up to asked M'Benga, but he wasn't there so he turned to Spock.
"Were there any complications? Is she in good health?" He asked quietly, and Spock nodded.
"The operation went well, and despite her slightly premature birth, she is in very good health." He answered, and McCoy smiled again. He something on his finger, and when he looked down he saw her tiny green hand wrapping around it. His smile broadened immensely, and he was filled with joy. After everything they had gone through, this moment made it all worth it.
But then his smile dropped, and he looked up at Spock. "We don't have anything. Oh my god, we don't have ANYTHING. I can't believe it, how could I have been so stupid! We don't even have diapers... or.. or..." He panicked, but Spock put a hand on his arm.
"Leonard, calm down. She can feel what you feel." Spock said quietly, and McCoy looked down at the baby, who was now awake and looking up at him. She definitely had Spock's eyes. "Jim had planned a 'baby shower' to be taken place yesterday, but he had postponed it given the circumstances. He said that he was not going to hold one originally, but he knew that you had probably forgotten that- and I quote- 'babies need things.' The party will be taking place today, in our quarters." He explained, and McCoy nodded.
"Is that why you didn't worry about getting anything?" He asked, and Spock nodded.
"Jim had assured me that the baby shower would provide everything that we would need- at least for a certain amount of time." Spock said as he looked down at the baby. "For now, Sickbay has provided diapers, bottles, and several other things that I have already moved to our quarters."
"Damn, Spock, you're really on it." McCoy chuckled, and Spock gave him his Vulcan Glare. "Sorry, profanity." He muttered, looking down at his baby. She was still looking up at him silently. He frowned at her in thought. "Has she cried at all?"
"She did cry upon birth, however it did not take long for her to stop." Spock replied, and McCoy nodded.
"Hmm, that's good I suppose." He said, caressing her hand. They still needed to come up with a name, though.
McCoy swaddled her up and used a blanket to create a little nest on the bed for her. He set her down in it, and when he was satisfied that she'd be safe and wouldn't wake up any time soon right there, he left to go look at the stuff that Spock had brought over. In the living room there was a box of good quality diapers, and some nice little medical grade bottles. What else could you expect from a sickbay? He never really appreciated the fact that they had all this in stock, but now he realized how much of a lifesaver it was.
He flopped down on the couch, crossing his arms over his slightly baggy sweatshirt. His belly was a lot smaller, but it was still not nearly as flat as it used to be. With women, it usually took months before their post-baby belly shrunk down, but that was because the uterus needed to go back to its original size. With male pregnancies, they took all of that stuff out during the operation, so it wouldn't take too long before his stomach was like it used to be. As long as he got back onto a proper gym regime, things would be nice and swell in time.
Spock sat down close to him, asking, "Have you given any thought to a name yet?"
"Yeah, I actually thought of one that I'm really fond and proud of." McCoy said with a small smile, turning towards Spock. "If you're okay with it, I'd really like to name her Amanda." He could see Spock stop breathing, and for a moment he was worried that it was a bad idea.
"I had thought that we would not name her after someone." Spock said quietly, and McCoy shrugged.
"Yeah, so that she won't be living in the shadow of that person. But really, what harm will come out of being named after someone who only ever endeavored to spread joy to those that she loved?" McCoy asked, and Spock's mouth twitched. "If you don't like it-"
"No. It is... perfect." Spock said, and McCoy grinned. He knew how much Vulcans hated the word 'perfect,' because they thought that nothing was ever perfect in the world. Spock looked into his eyes, and McCoy smiled back at him. He really hoped that the man was happy with the name despite it being a completely human one.
Spock leaned forward, and McCoy was expecting a hug, since they had done so the night before. But when Spock's hand came to cup his cheek and his face was only inches from his, McCoy pushed him back. "Whoa whoa whoa. Are you... I'm not... If that.. I wasn't trying to..." He stammered, shaking his head. Spock dropped his hand and opened his mouth to speak, but the door chimed. McCoy got up and welcomed the guests in.
Jim tackled him into a hug, but pulled away when McCoy winced. "Oh, sorry Bones. Forgot you just had a baby and all. Speaking of, we're here for your baby shower!" He said with a grin, looking around. "Where's Spock?" McCoy turned around to see the empty couch, but he heard the bathroom door.
"Oh, he just needed to run to the bathroom real quick. Come in, come in." McCoy said, ushering him in. Next came Sulu, Uhura, Scotty, M'Benga, Nurse Chapel, and a few other trusted science officers that he had been friends with since his days at the Academy. Each person had boxes of differing sizes with them, and McCoy was relieved that none of them were wrapped or anything like that. It would have been a mess that nobody wanted to clean up. "Everyone make yourselves at home. Can I get anyone a drink or some food? I have the best replicator around!" He announced, earning some laughs from the crowd who chose places to sit in the living area. He noticed that everyone left the couch empty- probably so that he and Spock could sit there, since it was in the middle of everything.
As everyone requested what they wanted, McCoy gathered the food and beverages and handed them off. Jim helped as well, to which he was thankful. Last- but certainly not least- he ordered himself a nice, frosted mint julep. He sat down on the couch and raised up his glass, toasting, "To my first drink in over eight months!"
"And to the good health of your child!" Jim added in pointedly, causing McCoy to smile and wink at him. Everyone took a drink, and McCoy took a nice big swig of his own. It was smooth, cool, and he felt like it had made up for everything bad that happened during the pregnancy. Oh, and the baby made up for that too. "Speaking of baby..." Jim said, wiggling his eyebrows. McCoy smiled again and nodded, setting down his drink and going over to the bedroom.
He shut the door behind him to see Spock rousing her from sleep. "Hey, Spock, I'm sorry for-"
"There is no need to be sorry, Leonard. I misread the situation." Spock interrupted quietly, and McCoy didn't answer that; it wasn't false.
"They're waiting for you. And her." He said with a small smile, trying to cheer the Vulcan up. "Hey, Spock. Be happy. You have your baby, you have friends, and you have the Enterprise. What more could you want in life?"
"I would appreciate it if you would cease making me feel so many conflicting emotions." Spock said, picking Amanda up from the bed.
"What did I do this time?" McCoy asked, and Spock looked at him pointedly.
"You said that she was my baby. Before only 4.325 months ago, you had been adamant that she was your child. This is the first time that you had ever considered that she be mine and not yours or ours. It is-"
"Okay okay, I get it. We can talk about that later. But for now, everyone in there is waiting on us. So let's go." McCoy said, and Amanda made a happy noise, causing him to smile. "See? She agrees." He added, and walked out of the room, knowing Spock would follow.
"She is so fucking cute!" Jim yelled as soon as Spock entered the room, jumping up and walking over to them. He reached out his arms, saying, "Gimme gimme gimme!" And Spock handed the baby over.
"Language, damn it Jim!" McCoy joked, and Spock elbowed him in the arm. He paid no mind to the Vulcan, opting to go sit on the couch and drink on his mint julep. Mmm, the minty coolness was like high heaven on his palate, cleansing him of sin and evil.
"What'd you name the wee lass?" Scotty asked, palming his glass of scotch.
"Amanda." McCoy answered when Spock stayed silent, and a bunch of 'aw's broke out among the crowd.
"So you let Spock name her?" Jim asked, making faces at Amanda in attempt to make her smile. It didn't seem to be working, but the blond just kept at it.
"Nah, that was all me." McCoy said again when Spock said nothing. The Vulcan's silence was killing him. "So is there a plan to any of this, or...?"
"You can open you guys' presents now." Uhura chuckled, and McCoy nodded. She brought forth her present, explicitly giving it to him rather than Spock, which made McCoy feel even more tense. He opened up the box to reveal a small, thick, hand-sewn blanket. "It was mine when I was a little girl. It's just been sitting around in a box all this time, so I figured I'd actually make use of it through you guys." She explained, smiling. McCoy smiled back at her.
"Thank you so much, Nyota. It's amazing." He said, and she nodded. He handed the blanket over to Spock when Sulu brought his present over, which was a bit bigger.
"It took a while to track some of these things down, so I hope you guys like it." He said, and McCoy opened up the box. He and Spock peered inside to see a bunch of little stuffed animals and toys.
"Wow, Hikaru, it's so much." McCoy said gratefully, looking through them. Some of them were from Earth, but others were from all sorts of other planets. He recognized a ball made from a silicone-like substance that kids on Andoria would play with. He also recognized some of the stuffed animals as creatures from many of the planets that they've visited. Spock picked up one in particular- a bear-looking one with long fangs and a lion tail. "Why'd'you like that one so much? Is it Vulcan?" McCoy asked, looking between it and Spock.
"It is a sehlat. Children often kept them as pets on Vulcan. I had one named I-Chaya." Spock explained, and McCoy nodded. The people around them made noises of appreciation, and McCoy shoved the box onto Spock's lap so he could look through it more. He wanted to open more presents. Get this show on the road so that everyone could leave...
"Thank you, Sulu. You can already tell that we love them." He said, gesturing towards Spock who was still looking at the sehlat. The man smiled and nodded back at him, and Scotty brought his box over.
"Mine nae as sentimental or as heartfelt as the others, but it's still a necessity if you're raisin' a little one." He said, plopping the box on McCoy's lap. He opened it up to see a green baby sling, with a paper inside. "I hear that slings are better than the carriers- somethin' about supportin' the legs or whatever. But there's instructions there on different ways to use it and whatnot." Scotty explained, and McCoy nodded and smiled. He reached in and took out the sling, feeling the soft, smooth fabric between his fingers. It seemed cooling but warming at the same time.
"Thank you, Scotty, I know for a fact that we're gonna be using this a lot." McCoy said gratefully. He knew how tiring it was to be holding a baby for hours on end with nothing else to support it. Scotty nodded back at him with a smile.
"Oh, mine's by the door." Jim said distractedly, still occupied with Amanda. McCoy looked over to see a big box next to the entrance, and he rolled his eyes. Of course Jim had to outdo everyone.
"I'll just go get it then." McCoy said, and Jim didn't seem affected by his words.
"'Kay!" He said, and McCoy rolled his eyes as he went and dragged the box over. Whatever it was, it was heavy. He opened it up to reveal an already assembled crib, with a soft, supportive bottom and sturdy sides. Jim handed Amanda off to Sulu and walked over to show him the perks. "Okay so if you press the button here..." He said, pressing a button on the side of the crib. Nothing happened, though, so he kept pressing it with a frown. "Oh, wait, the lights have to be off." He said, and McCoy brought his palm to his face in shame for his friend. He and Spock shared a glance.
"Lights, 15%." McCoy said, making the lights go down enough to make it dark but still light enough so that they could all see. Jim pressed the button again, and little lights came on inside the crib. They were dim enough not to be blinding or bothersome, but they were still really magnificent.
The inside walls of the crib had little multicolored lights and designs on them to look like stars, planets, nebulas, and galaxies. It was a vast array of pinks, green, blues, and yellows, and it was all really pretty. "And if you take this flap, you can put it over the top of the crib and it lights up with this too. You can choose whether or not to have it all lit up like this, though, obviously. But I just figured, it might be pretty cool." Jim explained, and McCoy smiled and nodded. "Lights 90%." Jim said, and the room was bright again, making the lights of the crib vanish to just a dark blue fabric.
"Wow, Jim, you had to outdo us!" Sulu joked, and Jim shrugged with a sheepish smile. McCoy moved the crib out of the way for the moment.
"We love all of your presents, guys, and we're gonna use all of them. Believe me." McCoy said assuringly, and everyone nodded. Sulu passed Amanda over to Uhura, who smiled joyfully down at her.
The rest of the guests brought over the generic but very much needed presents like diapers, wipes, powders and creams, baby soap, clothes, blankets, and all that good stuff. McCoy didn't know how many thank you's he said in that amount of time. He was really grateful to have such supportive friends around him, and it was nice to know that he could rely on them like this.
After the presents, they all sat around and chatted for a while. McCoy and Spock sat side by side, and Amanda fell asleep on both of their laps. Jim gave McCoy a suspicious look, but when the doctor frowned at him he didn't say or do anything. They all talked about the five year mission so far, possible shore leaves, funny moments with Spock or McCoy, and Amanda. Most if not all of the guests offered up their babysitting services, to which Spock and McCoy both thanked them amicably. Spock began talking more and more again, too, which was good. He was a quiet person in general, but he was actually joining in on the conversation, unlike earlier when he hadn't said a word.
When everyone left, Jim stayed behind for a while to continue talking about things. After he left, Spock and McCoy picked up the boxes and arranged everything. The crib was put next to the couch, and the baby blankets were put in there as well as Amanda. McCoy looked over at one point to see Spock feeling Uhura's blanket that she had given them.
All of a sudden, a spark of something went through him, followed by the thought of 'Does he still have feelings for her?' He recognized the feeling as a mixture of anger and sadness. Jealousy. What was he jealous of? Spock and Uhura's love? No, he was never jealous of a couple's love for each other. Spock's love FOR Uhura? McCoy cast his frown to the floor. McCoy already physically rejected him, so what if he just got back with her? The baby was born, so Spock didn't need to be looking out for his safety anymore. Hell, they didn't even really have to live with each other anymore. McCoy sighed, folding the last article of Amanda's clothing and putting it away.
He went to the bedroom, and crawled into bed to sleep. He was exhausted. He couldn't stop thinking about Spock. More specifically, he couldn't stop thinking about Spock trying to kiss him. Spock wanting to kiss him. Spock moving in to kiss him. The prospect of him and Spock kissing just made his stomach churn. But what kind of churning? At first he thought it was disgust, since he felt like he was going to throw up. But when he actually thought about it, it was more of like... as if he had butterflies trapped in his stomach. Like his heart was in throat. His mouth had gone dry and he felt sweaty. His body felt alert. His body felt... erect.
He turned back around, feeling hot and damp. Now wasn't the time to be getting aroused. There was a baby in the other room! But for all the joy of Christmas he couldn't will himself to become soft again. How had he even become hard? Surely it wasn't by thinking about Spock.
Surely!
He bit down his contempt for himself and turned around again, closing his eyes and ignoring the world. He just needed to shut everything out. Shut it all out, and sleep.