Week 7: Shopping Pee

Starring: Blossom, Boomer, Brick

Location: Townsville Mall

It was late in the evening in downtown Townsville, and a mother was taking her two young sons to the mall. They were to each get a toy of their choosing due to having excellent behavior at school for the past month with no slip-ups. Blossom, aged 27, walked with her boys (both aged 28, but they're 8 in this skit. They're on their knees during the duration of this performance, so just go with it), Brick and Boomer. The first thing that they do is stop by the fountain in the center.

"Alright, boys. You two stay right here. I'll be right back," Blossom ordered.

"Where you goin', mama?" Boomer asked pleasantly with a giant swirly lollipop in hand and on face.

"I gotta take a quick trip to the restroom."

"Can't we go with you, mommy?" Brick begged, "I don't wanna be left alone with this dunderhead."

"Uh, I can hear you. Ever heard of ears?"

"I know you can hear me, ding dongler. That's the point!"

"Boys, boys! Enough arguing with each other. Just please stay put until I get back," Blossom eagerly pleaded.

"I will not stand for any possible accusations of insubordination, mommy. Take me with you! I can protect you from any unseen dangers!" Brick retorted.

"Honey, you both are too old to go with me into the ladies' room, anymore. Besides, I think you keep forgetting that your mother was a real fighter, back in the day. She can handle herself just fine if something were to rise up out of the blue." She suddenly jolted from the pressure of trying not to wet herself in public. "Oh, now I gotta go real bad! I'll see you both in a few minutes. Stay RIGHT. HERE." With that said, Blossom sprinted down the pathway leading to the food court as the two young boys stood there and watched her peel away. After losing sight of her, they awkwardly turned to each other and stood there in silence as Boomer just slowly continued lapping on his lolli for about two minutes. Out of nowhere, Brick began to quiver as he grabbed the front of his pants and groaned.

"Uh oh. Now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"Then go to the bathroom!" Boomer urged.

"I don't know where it is!"

"Well then, you'd better find it, quick!"

Brick panicked and began to jog in circles, fighting back the strain in his pants. He suddenly paused and glanced at the fountain directly behind the two of them. He cracked a mischievous smile and began pacing towards it.

"Brick, what are you doing? What are you doing, Brick?" Boomer was anxiously asking Brick, who refused to be distracted from his objective. He stood along the edge of it, unzipped his pants, and began streaming into the water, giving off multiple sighs of relief. Boomer cringed and used his lollipop to cover his face so that he wouldn't be recognized. About thirty seconds later, a zipping noise was heard and Brick waddled back over next to his brother with a giant grin on his face. "And you just stand around all day, calling me an idiot?"

"Sure, why not? You are."

"Oh dang, that reeks of asparagus!" Boomer muffled through his shirt that he had pulled up over his nose. "I need to filter that out!"

"So what?"

"Dude, mama is so gonna bust you for this!"

"How? She's not even here! I could just tell her that it was you." Speaking of HIM, Blossom came strutting towards them.

"Alright you two, I'm finished with my business. Let's go get your-" she abruptly paused as she sniffed the air and twitched her eyes. She stared at the fountain and then back down at Brick, who was smiling nervously. "Brick, did you pee in the mall fountain?" Boomer grinned and raised an eyebrow to his brother, who responded hesitantly.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Boomer! How could such a nice boy like you defile a public piece of property as this? You should be ashamed of yourself! Never have I ever in my days seen someone do something as vile as pull his zinger out in a mall and pee into the fountain water! Oh, the humanity!" Blossom suddenly spanked Brick, making his eyes shoot wide open.

"I know it was you, drama queen. You shall not receive a toy for this behavior!" She pinched her son's ear and began dragging him to a nearby bench for more child rearing.

"Now how's that for in-sor-nation?" Boomer laughed and took another lick of his lollipop, walking behind his sucker of a brother, being dragged by his mother.