A/N: Well, dear readers, here we have it. This is a double update and will conclude this story. I hope the ending will be satisfying to you all. This was the first multi-chapter fic I ever attempted so it is a special moment for me to be finally marking it complete.
Thank you all so much for reading and commenting and encouraging me along the way. You are all precious and I am so happy to have been able to write something for you.
As always, thanks a million to Jenn for reading and editing and just being awesome in general. You are too good to me.
"Emma?" Regina felt odd knocking on her own bedroom door but she didn't want to walk in on the blonde if she wasn't dressed.
"Yeah?" The voice was muffled and Regina knew the other woman must still be in the bathroom.
"Can I come in?" She took a deep breath and a part of her hoped that Emma would say no so she could go back downstairs.
But no such luck. "Um… sure. I'm still in the bathroom but I've got my clothes in here."
Regina turned the knob and entered the room. Her bed was still unmade, which made her feel uncomfortable. She never left her bed unmade. Not the important thing to focus on right now Regina. Looking around the room, strategizing, she wondered where she should sit.
If she sat on the bed, there would be more room for Emma to sit by her for a talk, but it might be too intimate for them to sit on the end of the rumpled bed. The chaise was probably a better choice but it wasn't very large so Emma might feel uncomfortable sitting so close. Regina sighed. She knew she was freaking out and overthinking but this wasn't a conversation she really wanted to have.
She opted for the chaise and tightened her robe as she sat. She wondered absently if she should also dress before Emma came out of the bathroom, but decided against it when the door opened and a waft of steam billowed out.
"You have maybe the hottest water I have ever had in a shower before. It was… amazing. If I had a bathroom like that I'd look like a prune for the rest of my life." Emma smiled, stepping into the room. She was wearing her jeans and tank from the previous night although her feet were bare, her face clean of make-up and her hair wet. She toweled the ends shuffling across the room toward the door. "I'll get out of your way so you can get ready for your day."
"Emma?" Regina's voice cracked and she cleared her throat. She could do this. With a little more confidence she tried again. "I'd actually like you to stay a moment. There's something I'd like to discuss with you."
Emma eyed the woman skeptically for a moment before taking her hand from the door and facing her fully.
"I brought you a coffee." Regina smiled, holding the cup out.
Still Emma toweled the ends of her hair, scrunching it into the natural curls that would be there as soon as it dried. Regina patted the end of the chaise, inviting her to sit. The blonde stepped into the bathroom and hung up the wet towel before taking the coffee cup and sitting by her.
Regina looked at the floor rather than make eye contact. She wasn't really sure how to begin. Before she could begin, she noticed Emma's feet. They looked soft and small out of the boots she always wore. And her toenails were painted a purple so deep it bordered on black. Regina felt a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. This was the first time she could recall ever seeing Emma Swan's naked feet.
"So… what's up? Is everything ok?" Emma blew across the surface of the coffee and took a small sip. She moaned at the taste. "God. Is everything just better here? This is a great cup o' joe. And just like I like it." Emma took another larger sip and waited for Regina to speak.
"Well, I'm not sure everything is better here, and by here I assume you mean in my home, but I do buy rather expensive coffee for home brewing. Granny's is fine in a pinch but I prefer… well… something richer, smoother." Regina smiled and tried to push her nerves back. She knew she was wasting time talking about coffee and she knew Henry was right. She needed to finish this. But it was hard.
Regina watched for another moment as Emma sipped from the cup. She knew in a moment things would be different. In a moment, Emma would remember everything. She'd recall that the awful life she'd lived in foster care and on the streets had been a direct result of Regina's actions. She'd remember that she was without her family for twenty-eight years because of her. She'd remember the way they had fought and struggled and tried to keep Henry away from each other. She'd remember that Regina was someone she barely like, let alone loved and whether it was True Love or not, she wouldn't want her.
Regina swallowed a lump in her throat. What if she wasn't her True Love at all? She and Henry were making a huge leap assuming that was the case. Poetic or not, just because Regina loved her didn't mean it was True Love. And so what if Emma felt something for her? Did that mean anything concrete? No. It didn't. This whole thing was a risk. But Henry seemed sure.
And if Regina was honest with herself… she was sure too. As sure as she had ever been about anything in her life. Not even with Daniel had she felt just the way she felt now, sitting on the chaise in her robe, watching Emma sip coffee in the morning light. Yes, this was True Love. But it wouldn't matter in a moment. Because in a moment, Emma would remember.
And then she would reject her.
"So…" Emma seemed to be growing uncomfortable with the silence as Regina continued to stall.
"Sorry. I…" Regina drank in every inch of Emma, memorizing the light in her eyes she was sure would go dim as soon as she knew—really knew—what was going on. "I have something to say and I need you to listen and not interrupt me. Can you do that?"
A deep furrow appeared between Emma's brows as she studied the other woman. "Yeah, I can… you know, listen. What's going on? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry about getting drunk last night. I know we—"
Regina placed a hand on Emma's arm and squeezed gently, silencing her. "No, Emma. You haven't done anything… but I have." Regina took the near empty coffee cup from the woman and placed it on the side table to her right.
"You? What are you talking about?" Emma smiled at the absurdity of Regina having done anything wrong.
"Please Emma, let me talk and you just sit and listen, ok?" Regina smoothed out the front of her robe nervously and waited.
"Yeah, ok. Sure. I'm all ears." Emma turned slightly on the end of the chaise and folded one leg under her so she was facing Regina now.
Regina smiled sadly and felt the stinging of tears in her eyes, but she took a deep breath and decided to just dive in and worry about the consequences later.
"You know, when you first appeared on my doorstep—the first time—and you seemed so uncomfortable with the whole situation… I thought you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Even with all that was going on, and my fears about… well, so many things, I had no idea who you were or what your being here meant, but you still made my heart jump in a way it hadn't in so very long—"
"Regina… I—"
"No. You said you wouldn't interrupt. Please?" Emma nodded and mimed locking her mouth and throwing away the key. "I invited you in for a cider and you wanted something stronger. I felt threatened to be honest but mostly I felt terrified by the attraction I was feeling. I had shut off my emotions for so many years for anything other than… well, my son… that I didn't know how to handle this sudden feeling surging to the surface. And I guess when I learned who you really were, all I wanted was for you to get the hell out of my life."
Emma's eyes were confused. She clearly didn't understand the things Regina was saying. The only time she remembered coming to Regina's door with Henry and being offered a drink was just a week ago. But, despite her confusion, she kept her promise to just listen.
"I thought we were making progress until my mother showed up and ruined it. I was so hurt when you didn't believe me. I thought of all the people in this town, you had my back. You would look past all the history and see me. You always seemed to really see… me. But you didn't. You listened to the two idiots and you turned on me and it hurt, Emma. It hurt so much.
When I realized Mother was the cause of it all, the very first thing I wanted to do was bang on your door in the middle of the night and make her tell you that I was innocent. But she did what she did best and manipulated me into waiting. And then it was too late. But I couldn't be mad at you because what did I do? I turned right around and proved that I didn't deserve your trust.
Damn it. I did just what everyone thought I would. But I think it hurt most of all because I was falling in love with you even then and I was letting myself believe it could be different. I guess I wasn't very good at loving and I was confused about my own feelings. It seems so obvious now but—"
"You… you love me? Regina, what—" Again Emma tried to speak, confusion at the other woman's words outweighing her desire to keep her word.
Regina held up a hand to quiet her. "Please, Emma. Just give me a minute and all this will make sense. I promise."
Emma nodded and rubbed her sweating palms against her jeans. She was beginning to wonder if Regina was going nuts. She wondered where Henry was and if he could get out of the house safely if she screamed. Regina was starting to scare her.
"I guess none of that matters now. But that day… at the town line," Regina sniffled and finally lost the battle with her tears. "I wanted nothing more than to tell you how I felt. It wasn't like you'd remember anyway. But I knew that would be selfish. And to be honest, I didn't really know just how deeply my feelings ran until we were apart. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I gave you a gift that meant everything to me. Good memories… my memories with my son before you—"
"Wait. Wait. The town line… I dreamed last night something about… I'm so confused right now. What are you talking about?" Emma's eyes searched Regina's, wanting so to understand.
"You… you dreamed about the town line? Is that why you called out for me this morning?" Regina forgot for a moment to finish what she had started.
"Yeah. I mean, I dreamed…" Emma huffed and raked a hand through her still damp hair. "You know what? It doesn't matter. It was nuts. There was like this green cloud and purple light and…"
Regina shook as Emma trailed off. The blonde was indeed trying to regain her memories though she didn't realize what was happening.
"Emma? Listen to me." Regina gripped the other woman's hands in her own and gazed through her tears into confused green eyes. "I know this sounds crazy right now but I promise you, in a moment it will all make perfect sense."
Emma nodded for her to go on and squeezed the hands in her own.
Tears now marred olive skin as they raced down Regina's face. Her voice was wet with emotion as she spoke. "No matter what happens next… no matter what you think or remember… just know this one thing. There is nothing more important to me than you and Henry. No matter how it seems or what anyone says… I do love you."
Not willing to wait another minute, Regina launched herself forward and crushed her lips against Emma's. The blonde was caught by surprise but made no attempt to retreat and kissed Regina in return. Suddenly a burst of golden light billowed out from them and faded into a rainbow as it spread wider and wider and out of sight.
Regina pulled back and watched green eyes full of confusion suddenly fill with understanding and then… shock and something else Regina couldn't identify. Was it… fear? Emma leapt back and a hand went up immediately to her mouth. She stumbled back from the chaise, muttering quietly, "I… I remember. I remember everything."
Taking in Emma's desire to put distance between them, Regina was sure her worst fears were being realized. Emma was rejecting her. She remembered now and no longer saw Regina with eyes of love as she had just moments ago. Now she saw her as she really was and it obviously frightened her.
With a flourish of her hand, Regina disappeared in a column of purple smoke.
