Richard looked at Alex and told him "I want something different. Intense. Show me your soul Alex."
Alex thought long and hard and then recalled back to those few moments of delicious adrenaline rushes and others of pure orgasmic bliss. Alex sat back on the bed and began to stroke his cock as Richard watched. He would show him everything. Alex teased his nipples and balls while his orgasm slowly built. Alex lost himself to his ministrations. The act heightened by the fact he was being scrutinized under the artist's intense gaze.
Alex dozed, leaving his cum cooling on his stomach, chest and hand. Alex woke to Richard washing him down. "Of all the things I never expected you to do that."
"So are you completely straight then?" Alex asked.
"Ahhh. In my youth, before my marriage, I had a few male lovers."
Alex smile and stated "Well Richard. I like a nice cock."
"Do you now? You have a very nice cock, Alex."
"Does that mean you fancy me?" Alex looked at Richard's blue eyes and kissed him.
Richard lay next to Alex and groaned.
Alex laughed "What are you complaining about old man. You fuck wonderfully."
"You might have broken me. I haven't done that for years." Richard croaked after getting his breath back.
"I guessed that with the comment about using condoms. AIDs and HIV just passed you by. Getting tested sucks."
Richard pushed himself upon his elbows to look at his lover "You've been tested?"
"Yeah, when I was 14, I was very sexually active. When Tony and Jon adopted me there was a chance I was HIV. For once in my misbegotten life I was lucky. So safe sex from now on."
Alex grew a beard over the next couple of weeks. The bits of auburn were a bit of a shock. It made him look almost scandinavian. Alex sat by the pool as Richard slept. He was wearing the old bloke out with his insatiable sexual appetite. For a man who'd be celibate for more than six years, Richard wasn't doing bad.
Life was a dream, something would shatter the illusion of perfection for Alex. At some point the outside world would intrude. Richard spoke of love affairs and life partners. Some lovers lasted, others were of a moment in time. You just had to recognise the difference. Losing your life partner was not the end just another beginning. Alex hoped Tony had found someone to love.
Yassen Gregorovich looked at the highly classified interpol report filed about little Alex. 17 and from the photo a handsome young man. John's son had disappeared. A strange possessive feeling stirred in Yassen's gut.
It was the last week in November, cold and stormy. Alex's stumps throbbed with pain, God he hated when he could feel intense pins and needles in the feet that were no longer there. Richard and Alex had retreated into Richard's bedroom with its view of the sea. The morning was still cool and the storm had abated. Alex lay on his stomach, Richard had his fingers pressed in Alex's arse. Alex gasped as his prostate was stroked. Wonderful torture.
"Look at you. A wanton whore waiting for my cock to fill you." Richard whispered into Alex's ear.
Alex screwed his eyes shut and hissed, riding the waves of pleasure "Fuck me, now!. Oh God, Richard I need you. No more teasing."
Richard was achingly slow. Death by slow fucking. Richard had commented on tying Alex up to stop him touching himself. He moved his hands to feel Richards erect penis as it slid in and out of him. The artist responded with "You little tease. Touching me as I fill you up."
To that Alex clenched his arse hard around Richard and demanded "More. Harder. Faster. I want to be lost in the sensation of you."
Those moments of utter bliss were the few times Alex did not have to be reminded what a complete fuck up his life was. Even here, the edges of black depression were pressing in. He missed his easy home life. Alex was not a child. All his dread of growing up had come true in the worst way possible. There was no mysterious Ash to find and connect with. Tony was off being the great thespian. Jon was dead. Jack had walked out of his life with a disquieting ease. Alex had followed the promise of gold to Loughborough and Athens and lost contact with Tom and Becks in the process. Life sucked. Alex kissed Richard with hard desperation, as he came. As the older artist pulled out and lay on the bed, Alex looked at him. Richard had closed his eyes. Alex slipped out of bed and slid along the floor to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror Alex for once giving in to the self hatred of his crippled self.
Richard stood in the doorway "Thinking too much?"
"I wish I could tell you everything Richard. You get half truths and one word answers. After three years I'm sick of it. At what point do you draw a line under all the hurt and disappointment and just get on with things."
"I thought you were getting on with things?" genuine concern filled Richard's face
"I suppose." Alex looked down at the floor, unsure that he had got on with things. Life had been more like hiding, wallowing and denying. Out of the blue Alex stated "When I was sixteen, after I'd taken my ICT exams I did a bit of hacking."
"Anywhere interesting?"
"MI6 files."
Richard was genuinely shocked. "Jesus! Are you running from those bastards?"
"I...I hacked my birth father's file. He worked for them as a field agent. Under cover with terrorists." Alex then looked at Richard before continuing "When I was 14, I met an assassin. My father had trained him. I thought this killer was sexy, beautiful and terrifying. When I spent time with him, I was always on the knife edge that he'd kill me. My shrink told me that the fact he didn't is significant as I got a total psychopath to empathise with me. You look at me with the same intensity as Yassen. I still live in terror that he'll catch up with me." Alex continued to look at Richard, searching and hoping for understanding.
"Were you ... are in love with this Yassen?" Richard had moved closer to Alex and was almost touching him.
Alex closed his eyes "I don't know what love is. No, thats a lie. My feelings for Yassen are complicated. I know one thing now. I love you Richard. Its kind of crept up on me. Open, free and easy. Not possession and obsession. Just being comfortable. Letting everything settle in one place." Alex smiled a genuine smile. "I think my life makes sense because of you." Alex looked at the shocked expression on Richard's face. "I know its here and now. I'm not pressuring you into anything." Alex knew it was a beautiful moment in time. "I think we'll be friends after I leave."
"I think we'll remain friends as well". Richard paused and then re-asked his earlier question "So are you running from MI6?"
"No, running from myself mostly. I'll go back to England next year and try to be normal. I might reinvent myself so I can get away from all the lies I have to tell." Alex tried to convince himself his emotional baggage would not intrude on life as a student.