Week 9: Spiff And Span
Starring: Boomer, Bubbles & Buttercup
Location: Utonium Household, Townsville, CA
Bubbles and Boomer were just relaxing in their home one Sunday afternoon, drinking juice and dusting dirty pictures... when something suddenly happens in the kitchen with Boomer...
"Hey Bubbles, where's the mop?" Boomer shouted from inside the kitchen, anxiety in his voice. "I may have caused an accident."
"We don't have a mop, honey... and what did you do?"
"I spilled grape juice on the brand new rug! Oh, what good does it do us whether or not we got a mop! There's only one thing in this world capable of removing the stain!" Bubbles dropped the picture of her and the Professor and ran as fast as she could into Boomer's waiting arms, where she leaned into his shoulder and cried. "Why, oh why the new rug? It tied the room together, so well!" Boomer started sobbing as well, squeezing his girlfriend tighter.
"If only there was something that could've prevented this from happening!"
"Fear not, my fellow potential customers!" A random voice bellowed out of absolute nowhere. The couple turned away from their anguish in surprise. "I have the very answer to your very problem!"
"Wh-who are you? What do you want from us?" Bubbles panicked and started questioning the voice. Suddenly, the glass from the sliding patio door exploded from the frame and scattered across the living room carpet floor, and an eccentric brunette came skipping through the empty doorway. Her green, collared shirt had a name tag which only read "BC". She suddenly whipped her hand up from her side and pointed straight into Boomer's soul. Her hellish smile gave Bruce the shark a run for his money. The couple remained standing, petrified by the spectacle. She started to shout excitedly in rhyme.
"Does your house have stains in black, yellow, or even white? Well, I have something that'll make it all spotless by tonight!-
Burns from cooking, firewood, or even hot cheese? I've got you a product that's guaranteed to please!
Hi, I'm Buttercup, and there's something in this world that can remove the hardest stain from any surface at any time!-
Don't wait for them to disappear on their own! A clean house equals a happy home!" Buttercup ran over to the shattered door and pulled in a Swiffer with a "P" Sharpied on top of the "W".
"What the hell is tha-"
"Why it's the Spiffer, if you must oh-so know! It certainly doesn't suck, and it certainly doesn't blow!-
It has four layers of disinfectant, a military-grade stance! Why, those damn spots and stains don't even stand a chance!-
It has excellent maneuverability, with much charm and grace! Now, watch what happens when I use it on your face!" Buttercup leapt into the kitchen and aimed at Boomer's head as though she were preparing to heave a javelin. Boomer braced for impact as the Spiffer touched his chin.
BC rubbed it all over, almost without care. Bubbles was worried, and the sight she could not bear.
When the Spiffer was removed from his face, just in time for Halloween, Boomer came to the realization, that his face was sparkly clean.
He ran his fingers, through his sanitation-soaked mop. He thought that if it could do such wonders to his face, then what about a tabletop?"
"How do you feel, good sir?"
"Boy, do I feel great! How much is it?"
"$7.99... with payments numbering eight."
"Well, that seems a bit much, for a cleaning tool to buy. Can you by chance lower the price?"
"Nope, goodbye!" And with that, Buttercup sprinted through the window with Spiffer in hand, jumping straight through even more glass. She then ran down the street, laughing her lungs out, like a freakin' jackass.
Boomer turned to his girlfriend, who somehow felt disgraced. But she recuperated swiftly, and smiled at his face.
"Well honey, I'm gonna go into town, and search for some turpentine."
"You know, if there's one good thing that from this... it's that I now know how to rhyme."