"What?" she remarked, incredulously. Both her voice and her body were now noticeably shaky. Were her ears working correctly or had the s-word actually come out of Malfoy's mouth? She heard the scrape of his chair behind her as he stood. But she remained facing away from him, still filled with unease, poised to dart out the door at the first sign of danger. It was a few moments before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry you think I'd do something like that." Anger like searing heat flared within her. He was sorry she thought he was a scheming little rodent? When he had given her every reason to think he was exactly that way? She was about to lash out when he spoke again. "Can you just, give me a chance to explain?"

She scoffed. Honestly, what sort of game was he playing at? Was whatever plan he had really so important that he would stoop so low simply to assuage her conscience?

Cautiously, she turned back around to look at him, but her gaze fell upon a Draco Malfoy she did not recognize. Gone was his air of superiority. Shoulders hunched and head held low, she was shocked to see what looked like pain reflecting out of glassy grey eyes.

"Please. Will you just…" he paused and closed his eyes, as if to collect himself. "…hear me out?" He motioned to a chair nearby. With great reluctance, she pulled it over and positioned it several comfortable feet away from him. He sat back down, facing her. He drew a short breath and ran a quick hand through his hair, giving it the rare appearance of unruliness, and dropped his gaze.

"I don't even know where to begin."

She sat begrudgingly with her arms crossed and waited for him to speak again, in the meantime hoping that he would give her a good excuse to flee the room. Her heart beat was racing and she felt as though she were sitting on a balloon that would burst any moment.

"These past few years… have been… difficult to say the least. I don't pretend that I've had it all that bad. At least, not when I compare it to what families like the Weasleys have gone through. But I had this idea of what would happen if you-know-who ever returned. He had everything that I wanted- thought I wanted, at least- the power, the respect, the glory…" His eyes darted quickly up to hers and back down again. "It was fun in the beginning- pushing people around, feeling superior, but then the floor just dropped out from underneath me.

"Suddenly power wasn't enough. We were torturing and controlling-" his voice dropped to just above a whisper. "We we're killing people. And I couldn't push myself that far. Everything just became so real for me. One day I turned around and it was like all the light in my life had been snuffed out. I looked around and things were different. My family wasn't who I thought they were. My house wasn't a home anymore. I was living with a monster and surrounded by murders. I felt trapped and alone and… scared.

"And then somehow it got worse. Suddenly I was expected to kill. And if I didn't, then those I loved would die instead." She heard his voice catch in his throat, saw the glassy surface of his eyes tremble. The unmistakable signs of candor were written all across him. "I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just stood there in front of Dumbledore, collapsing in on myself, hoping against all hope that everything would just be done. And then Snape killed him and I watched as he dropped-" His voice broke and he hastily ran a sleeve up to his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Anyways, I find very little comfort in the fact that I haven't killed anyone. But that hasn't stopped me from doing innumerous other horrid things." The silver flecks in his eyes flashed as he looked up, catching her eyes forcefully with his. "I know that it's far too late for this. I know it and yet I need to tell you because I've done so much that I'm not proud of, but none of it compares to the inexcusable way I've treated you."

A stray tear rolled down her cheek. Stabbing pain cut into her forearm as the ghost of a bygone word exploded like a gunshot in her mind. "Mudblood." The word generated electric shockwaves of hurt to echoed endlessly through the cavern of her mind, though she did not let this pain show upon her face. She choked her shame down and hardened her features, trying desperately to keep her emotions from betraying her.

"I'm beyond ashamed. And I know that it's not good enough, but I am so sorry."

Another tear. Her heartbeat, now resolving to pump waves of agony through her veins while anger swelled within her. And now she was shouting all the things she'd ever wanted to tell him silently in her mind. How could he presume that she would ever accept his apology? After the hell he'd put her through?

She looked at the boy in front of her. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to feel violent and dangerous and powerful. She wanted to feel like she could hurt him just like he had hurt her all those many years.

But she couldn't. The malice wouldn't come. There was sincerity and ache in his eyes that told her he was already damaged. Just like her. Just like everyone else who had loved and lost to the war. She swore she could hear a snap as her heart broke and her tears broke away from her control. She looked away.

"I can't do this. Not with you." She was stumbling out of the room. "It's too late."

She tore away from him, from that room, from that word, hysteria climbing its way up her throat, and didn't look back. Not when she darted past a worried-looking Ginny. Not when she missed a step on the grand staircase and collided with the floor. Not when the edge of the forest had swallowed her whole. She ran until the breath in her lungs was afire and her legs felt as if they might fold out from underneath her.

Then, allowing the bruising pressure of the built-up anguish and frustration to finally escape, she threw herself down on the cold leaf-littered floor and screamed.

A/N: So, this chapter is probably too dramatic, but ya know what, that's okay. We could all use more drama and angst in our daily lives right? Sure.

Also, I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news: It's a double upload day! Because I have difficulty making chapters long enough! WOOOHOO! (Though actually, this was intentional. It's a good place to draw the POV alternation line. Bad news at the end of the next chapter.)