I got out of my room, heading for the meeting robotically. My mind wandered back to yesterday without my permission and it was like I could see Rose by my side, walking with fire in her eyes, ready to take down her enemies or just scream at everyone, and all of a sudden it was hard to breathe again. Get a grip. As I walked through the door, everyone looked up. I could see lots of bruises and all sorts of injuries, and even though we couldn't afford to falter yet, sadness and grief filled the room.

I felt Janine's eyes on me but couldn't make myself look back at her. Alberta called for attention. She had seemed tired and sad, but as soon as she started speaking, the detached mask of a guardian fell into place.

"We lost many people yesterday," she said "and even though the goal was accomplished and we were able to bring back every prisoner that was still alive, this is not the time for celebration. We have a debt to those who fought with us and perished in those caves. We have to go back for them." There was a long pause of absolute silence.

"Five guardians and…" she hesitated, her face contorting with sorrow for the briefest moment "one novice were lost in battle. It's probable that the Strigoi are already gone, but we can't take any chances. I'm taking twenty volunteers with me and we are leaving right after the matter is settled, and you can rest after we come back. Please, raise your hands if you want to be part of the group."

My hand shot up immediately, as did Janine's. Alberta had to choose between volunteers since everyone wanted to help. When she said my name, our eyes met and I knew she knew I had to be there.

We left then. I could feel the eyes of the students and the staff following us as we made our way to the gates. I saw the reflex of her blond hair from the corner of my eye just a second before she started speaking directly to me.

"Guardian Belikov, you have to take me with you," said Lissa, pleading. Every guardian in our group stopped to hear what she had to say. "You know I can help, I can bring her back. I did it once and I know I can do it again. Please, I have to save her. I have to save Rose."

Her expression was half crazed, and she was crying. I didn't know if it had anything to do with Spirit's darkness or if it was simply grief. I didn't know what to say. For a moment, I entertained the thought of bringing Princess Vasilisa with us, even though I knew I shouldn't. Could she really bring Rose back from the dead? My treacherous mind lit up at the thought.

"The bond is gone" Lissa declared, breaking my trance, her eyes full of tears "I didn't know I could feel it until it disappeared. She needs me, Dimitri. Please."

It wasn't until I heard those words that I realized something. I was denying to myself that a small part of me was hoping that, against every odd, Rose had overcome her enemies or was forgotten by them. In fantasies trapped on the back of my mind, she would be hurt, badly, but still alive. I hadn't acknowledged that because I knew I couldn't afford hope. It would be the death of me. And I was right, because if the bond was gone, so was Rose.

"When?" I asked, my voice hoarse, either from lack of use or despair, I couldn't know. I didn't have to elaborate my question. Lissa understood. "Yesterday," she said, "Right before the survivors came back to the school."

I felt like my legs couldn't support my weight anymore. I forced myself to keep going though I knew that saying the next words would be like swallowing acid. "It's too late, Princess" my eyes burned and my chest ached "She's been dead for too long."

"I have to try!" Lissa was almost screaming at that point. "Don't you love her? Don't you want her back?"

Alberta stepped up then, taking Lissa by the arm and shaking her gently "We can't take you with us, Princess. It's too dangerous. There might be Strigoi in the caves. Rose would want you to be safe. She would want you to stay here."

Christian seemed to appear out of thin air then, hugging the Princess and murmuring something in her ears. He must have been by her side all along, but I was too distracted to notice. She didn't seem to be listening. Her eyes were on me, pleading. I couldn't say a word even if I tried. I couldn't help anyone; my own grief was too strong.

Janine was by my side then "We need to get to the caves as soon as possible, Princess" she said, her eyes full of unshed tears, her voice breaking "Only then we can learn whatever happened to Rose and the others. You have to let us go, but you can wait by the gates for our return if you want."

A few seconds later, Lissa nodded. We began to walk again and she was with us, Christian by her side. When the group reached the gates, I saw her seating down on the grass to wait for our return. Her eyes locked with mine, and I simply nodded.

The walk took forever, but we finally reached the caves. The smell of decay was overwhelming, and I fought the nauseous feeling that hit me. Bodies filled the ground and an Alchemist, the same one that helped up cleaning the bodies after the first battle, reached for the first Strigoi, dripping the chemicals that would dissolve the creature's body, as we started looking for familiar faces.

The first we found was Yuri's, but soon enough others started to appear. Still, none of those people were the one I needed to see, so I kept looking until there were no more bodies other than the ones laid on stretchers we had to carry back to the Academy. Janine seemed to come to the same conclusion I had, and I was almost surprised when she collapsed on her knees and started crying. She was nothing like the fierce guardian I knew in that moment. She was… like a mom that had lost her only child. Alberta went to her, trying to get her to calm down, but barely holding her own tears.

I was shaking. I could hear an odd cry, much like the one of a hurt animal, and it took me some time to figure that it was coming from me. My brain was going through the same piece of logic again and again. Rose was dead but her body wasn't here. She had died right after we left the cave, so there was no way they would have dragged her with them because Strigoi didn't carry corpses around. There was only one option.

She wasn't dead. It was worse, much worse than that.

She was turned.

Author's Note

Hey people

I really hope I am doing at least a decent job heheh This chapter was smaller than the last because they were supposed to be the same. Let me know what you think about my story and if you feel like I should continue writing it. Also, I'm a little lost (newbie) so if anyone wishes to be my beta, I would be really grateful. Thank you for your time.

Gaya x