I could still feel something inside me stir with the sound of her voice as the earth pulled me down. In the back of my mind, I knew that giving in to her would mean my death.

Wake up.

Her smile was sad under the sunlight. Or was it the sun? And if it was, had it always been so bright, and so close, and―

I drifted.

You must wake up.

Why bother?

Why bother if death had a face like that?

I opened my eyes, instantly alert. The darkness was so thick it didn't make any difference. Assessing the situation I was in, a few things became clear. The first and most overwhelming was that I was still alive and apparently uninjured. As soon as I realized that, I started testing my muscles. Everything felt fine and I wasn't restrained.

I was also alone.

Getting up from the single bed I was laid on was easy. I tried to ready myself for whatever would happen next, feeling the walls and looking for a light-switch. When the lights were flicked on, the implications of being captured hit me.

The place I was in was small. There wasn't much furniture besides the bed. It was like a bomb shelter with no windows and a military-issued door that could only be opened from the outside (nevertheless, I spent a lot of time and energy trying to force my way out). There were a small bathroom and a fridge with some food and water. I didn't drink or eat anything, even though I was starving. There were no cameras. My clothes were different from the ones I was wearing that night, and it made me wonder how long it took for the compulsion to wear off so I could wake up.

Why hadn't she killed me?

It seemed like she had put a lot of effort into finding a place to keep me. However, I couldn't find a logical reason for being kept captive. If she had wanted me dead, she didn't even have to break a sweat. If she had wanted me turned, she could also have done that already.

I shivered. I couldn't give in to hopelessness. I hadn't failed, not yet.

There wasn't much to do so I waited by the door for her return, without turning the lights off. With her superior senses, I would be the only one affected by the darkness.

Would she come back here? Probably. Unless making me wait in a cage was her twisted way of finishing me off, leaving me alone to descend into madness.

I didn't know how long it took for that door to open. Rose used to say I could win a staring contest against a statue. It surely had felt like it while I waited by the door, without moving or thinking too much.

When she came in, I didn't allow myself some time to acknowledge her identity. I couldn't repeat the same mistake twice, so I made my move, going for her legs in the hopes of destabilizing her. She blocked me easily, though, and closed the door in lightning speed. I couldn't see anything outside. She fought with grace, like my attacks were nothing, seeming to predict my every move. Her style was a bit off, and she surprised me more than once with moves I hadn't taught her; it made me wonder what else she had learned so far. Unlike every other young Strigoi I've battled before, she was cautious and kept her ground better than me, even if I wasn't letting myself be ruled by my feelings this time. Nothing could make me hold back.

"Dimitri," she breathed against my chest after trying to pin me down on the bed. I didn't answer, looking for a way to turn her over, but she didn't waste a second throwing me back on the mattress with an exasperated sigh, and holding me in a way that made it impossible to move. She beat me so easily it seemed like she had been humoring me the whole time and then got sick of playing games.

"Dimitri! Comrade," a chill ran down my spine as I heard the nickname rolling off of her tongue, "It's over. Don't hurt yourself," she mocked as I continued struggling, even if the rational part of my brain knew that she was right. There was no escaping her grip, "if I have to restrain you, I will. It's your choice, really. I like the idea of you tied to the bed." The hunger in her voice surprised me, an abrupt change in her stance, and I finally looked at her face – a glutton for punishment, needing to find something there that didn't exist anymore.

I let myself notice her chiseled features, her pale skin, her dark hair showering over my shoulders as she looked into my eyes with an expression I had never seen her wear before. I wondered if it was wishful thinking, but if I looked long enough into her eyes I could see something stirring underneath, something nameless and dangerous that called for me.

We were both breathless, and I couldn't tell whether it was from the battle or the proximity. Even if I knew this was wrong, I couldn't be more aware of how our bodies were intertwined, touching almost everywhere possible. How many times had we found ourselves in this position? How many times had I broken the tension between us, denying myself any kind of intimate thought or touch? I could do this, I could look away. I had a thousand new reasons to do so, adding on top of an already long list.

As I turned my head to the side, looking for fresh air, I heard her sigh, and the familiarity of it all made me want to punch something.

"Do you remember, back at the Academy," she said after a while, and I could hear a smile in her voice. I was looking anywhere but her face, "when the darkness took me over and I tried to kill Jesse? You stopped me and told me that I didn't have a choice, but if I behaved you would let me go."

I scoffed, and she sounded pleased with herself for getting a reaction out of me.

"You can't get out of here, I'm sure you know that by now. If you promise me to stop fighting, I'll let you go."

After a while, I nodded, because I needed space to think clearly about whatever the hell was going on right now. I could think of a way to escape later, taking her with me. She made good with her side of the bargain, letting me breathe and sitting on the floor, just beside the bed. I sat down as well, massaging my limbs to activate the blood circulation, staring at a point just above her head, and waiting for something to happen.

We stayed in silence for a long while, though, a charged stillness that made me much more aware of her eyes sweeping over me.

"What do you want from me?" I questioned finally, and my tone was much less accusatory than I thought it would be. I was curious, enticed by her every action – even if I would never admit it to anyone but myself. When I spoke, she closed her eyes.

"I wanted for you to keep away from me," she declared, smiling, still not showing her teeth. For the first time, I noticed how off that smile was. Even though it could pass as amused or sad, it was empty. "But you didn't respect my wishes, so now both of us need to deal with the consequences." I waited. Her tone was pointed and ironic as she continued, "You see, Comrade, life's been good, but when it comes to you everything is messy and unclear."

I almost laughed humorlessly to that, because I could relate to some extension. "I knew you were after me with a bunch of other guys. When I imagined being hunted down you were always alone, like the broody antisocial god you are, so you can think of my surprise when I heard there were at least five other dhampirs with you. I had to do something quickly before you got hurt by messing with the wrong people. Capturing you gives me time." She shrugged. All these words stringed together resembled something Rose would say, but her tone, too, was off, lacking something that was essentially her.

"You could also let me go," I said bluntly.

"Not an option," it was like she was trying to sound playful, but hearing her voice still felt like swallowing cement. "You came here for something, Dimitri, and I'll give you something, even if it's not what you expected."

That sentenced cleared some things out. "You're not keeping me here to kill me."

Her eyes bore into mine. "Why would I capture you before killing you? That's downright stupid."

"Where are we, exactly?"

"Far from your friends," she mocked. "Also, now that I mentioned it, who are they? Were you so afraid of me you couldn't act alone and had to bring a SWAT team with you?"

I could have kept quiet. I didn't want to answer her questions. I was aware of the fact that she could force me to tell her the truth, though, and it was better to be able to control the information I gave her than letting her take whatever she wanted from me.

"I didn't know where you were, so I needed help tracking you down. Torturing a Strigoi alone is pretty difficult." It wasn't a lie as much as it was an omission.

"I guess you are not invincible after all."

I looked down, trying to hide how much her words had affected me.

"I never said I was."

"I know, but that didn't stop me from thinking you were. You could do no wrong in my eyes." Her tone was wistful. She didn't have to say anything else. We were quiet for some time after that, and I kept swallowing words until it was hard to breathe.

I knew I wasn't invincible. If I was, she would be alive.

"Why did you come here?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Because I had nowhere else to go," she stated without elaborating.

"The Strigoi that… turned you, is he here?"

"Yes. He offered me an opportunity and now we work for the same boss. Her name is Galina. I take it you know her."

I almost gasped. Could it be my old mentor? I had heard about her turning a while ago and tried to follow Court's reports about her, but they had lost track for a while now. This has to be a fucking joke.

"She's a pain in the ass," Rose continued, unaware of my reaction, "but she won't be in charge for too long." She looked at me then, seeming a little… hesitant? Maybe. I had no idea what to think of that, "You could be by my side when I rise to power, Comrade. Can you imagine what we could do together?"

I could, and thinking about it made me get up and head for the door in a silly attempt to do something, anything, to escape from this place. She intercepted me in two steps, holding my arms. "Be reasonable," her words sounded like a warning.

She wants to turn you. She didn't do it yet, but she wants to. I had to get the hell out of here. There was no escaping her iron grip, though.

"Are you afraid of fighting me?" I tried to use her old temper against her. It made her unpredictable but also much more reckless.

"Being Awakened gives everything a new perspective, Dimitri. It's like being inside one of Tarantino's movies: bloodshed, great dialogues," she was still trying to make jokes, but her voice was much colder than before.

"I would rather die. The Rose I knew would, too. The Rose I knew would never rejoice in killing someone. The Rose I knew would never take her enemies down using compulsion," I said it like it was a bad word, still trying to work with her anger.

I could see she was starting to get pissed. It wasn't endearing, as it used to be when we were back at the Academy. It was frightening. "The Rose you knew is right in front of you, and wants really badly to punch you in the face but thinks it's a shame to damage such beauty. She's willing to break a bone or two to prove a point, though."

I scoffed again, ignoring the neon billboard in my mind warning me to back off. "The Rose I knew is dead."

She snapped and launched herself at me, throwing me to the floor so fast I couldn't process her movements. Soon enough everything hurt and I was pinned down again, but there was no sign of the early playfulness in her eyes as she looked down on me, "I'm myself but free, which is good, because I was pretty tired of living the way everyone expected me to. Even you, with your morals, always denying yourself to me because it was 'the right thing to do'. We both were nothing but unaware slaves, Dimitri, putting ourselves second to protect people who don't deserve our sacrifice."

In the lifetime contained in the past few months, I saw Rose change constantly. She matured, grieved, loved and hated under my eyes. That fire within her always blazing, but now it was dead, leaving nothing but ashes behind.

"I would never forgive you," I said. "If you turned me, I would hate you forever."

"Love me, hate me, there's no middle ground, Comrade, there never was. You'll either want me or not, but you'll be forever with me. I can live with that."

"What about Lissa?" The question slipped me before I could really think about it. She laughed, unamused.

"Hypocrisy doesn't suit you. If you care so much about her, why did you leave her alone?"

I didn't answer, waiting for something, anything, to wake inside her with the mention of her best friend's name. There was nothing, though, and I knew that if she had no feelings left for the person who saved her life, I was already lost.

"I'm sorry," I said, finally, also without thinking about it first. Her rage seemed to fuel, and she scoffed, guessing the meaning of my apology.

"Of course you are. You are probably feeling guilty as shit for surviving, aren't you? It's just like you, patronizing me after I saved your fucking life. News flash, Comrade, I've known for a while that my actions have consequences and I went back into that cave knowing very well what could happen." She shifted above me, leaning down. I didn't guess her intentions before it was too late.

It began awkwardly, taking me by surprise, but soon enough I was kissing her back. Like with the compulsion, my body responded to her without my permission, my mind going blank with her scent, my hands wanting to roam over her body as soon as her lips touched mine. It was primal, giving in to every hidden desire. As her tongue explored my mouth, my teeth ravaged hers; her hips pushing onto me were the only proof I needed that Heaven existed because this, right now, could only be Hell.

When she broke away from the kiss, her pupils dilated with desire, her every action making my stomach clench with need, the cruelty of the tragedy I was trapped in hit me like a sledgehammer to the head. How can you stop loving someone when they are gone, but right in front of you at the same time? How could I be with her, wanting her so much it was physically painful, and see her as a monster? Damn the differences, damn the promises, how could I get over Rose Hathaway when my world begins and ends at the tip of her tongue?

Even back at the Academy, my self-control was smashed into smithereens every time our lips touched. I would always crumble to her feet when we kissed, and that's why I avoided it at all costs. Back then, it was a mix of desire and love, something primal and sublime. What was it now that made her my gravitating center? It wasn't the same, but it wasn't different either. I didn't know how to save her, but I knew she was still there, somehow.

"Do I look dead to you, Dimitri? Do I feel dead to you?" Her tone was fierce. "You can say you are sorry as much as you want but that doesn't change the fact that I'm here, that I never left."

To some extent, it was true. It was almost like she was deliberately acting like nothing ever happened. What was she trying to prove? "Why haven't you changed me yet?"

"Because I don't need you. I'll do what I have to do and only then I'll make you mine."

"You can try, but when I said I'd rather die I meant it," I tried to calm myself.

"I'll come back here all the time. You won't have enough time to try anything. If you do, that will only make me Awaken you faster, so I suggest you eat and behave. I wasn't kidding about tying you to the bed. I want you to be comfortable, though."

"I'm hardly comfortable," I retorted.

"Oh, is that so?" She ground her hips into mine one more time and grinned maliciously as she felt my body answering. Our early argument was fueling something inside me, and the fact that I could still feel her kiss lingering in my mouth didn't make it any easier. She leaned down again, this time slowly, deliberately, so I could guess her every move and crave for her in anticipation. It was like she was offering me a chance to turn away, but I couldn't, and she knew that.

It got more and more intimate as she covered every inch between us, looking me in the eyes, making it clear that she wanted me and silently promising things that frightened and excited me to no end. She was so close and so distant that I wondered if I would reach for her if my hands weren't trapped.

There was a loud bang on the door that made me jump. She sighed, annoyed.

"Who is that?" I asked her.

"I have to go now, but remember what I told you. I'll bring you some Westerns and soon enough it will feel like home." I gave a sarcastic snort and she got up gracefully. "Goodbye, Comrade."

I was still lying on the floor when she left me alone with my thoughts. It was over as quickly as it had begun, and there were no answers, only more and more questions piling up behind me. Who was the person at the door? Why was Rose so hesitant to turn me?

And more importantly, how the hell would I get out of here, taking her with me?

A.N.: Thanks for the support, it means the world to me! I hope you liked the chapter.

This chapter has two songs, Obstacle 1 by Interpol and Combat lover by Nina Kinert. Also, I made a playlist on Spotify with every song so far and will add more as the fic continues. Check it out, if you'd like.

(user/ohorpheuss/playlist/2hCHyuPUOTV2hEvxOnPgSt)