Chapter 15
Ponyboy's POV
I stepped into the bright light. It was very bright, but I didn't have to shield my eyes. I walked forward a bit, and saw some figures. They got closer, and I recognized the face of Johnny and Dallas. They were both smiling but Johnny had tears of joy running down his face.
"Hey Pone." He said, and hugged me. I smiled and tears ran down my face as well. "I missed you so much Johnny!" I cried, and hugged him tighter.
He didn't have any burns or scars or nothing. He didn't have that scared look in his eye. He looked like nothing bad had ever happened to him.
After a while, we stopped hugging, and I looked up at Dallas. "Hey kid." He said and smirked.
"I missed you Dally!" I said. I ran up to him and gave him a hug. To my surprise, he hugged me back. "It's great to see you Pone." He said.
More figures were coming. They got closer, and I realized that it was my mom and dad. I let go of Dally and looked at them. It had been so long since I had last seen them...
"Mom! Dad!" I yelled and ran over to them. My mom was crying and engulfed me in a big hug. My dad joined it.
"I missed you baby." My mom said. "I missed you too mom!" I cried and hugged her tighter. I looked at my dad, and his eyes were watery. He ruffled my hair then rubbed my back, something he used to do to comfort my brothers and me.
"I missed you dad!" I yelled and hugged him after mom.
"We missed you too Pony." My dad said.
My mom looked at me again. "I'm sorry this had to happen Pony. Y- You didn't deserve to die baby. You had a future ahead of you."
I looked at her again and more tears ran down my face. "I'm glad I'm here though. I missed you guys so much!" I hugged her again and she hugged me back.
The five of us started walking. I didn't know where we were going, but they did. My mom had her arm around me as we walked. She was just how I remember her before the car wreck.
We continued walking, and my dad said to me, "I want to show you something." I nodded, and him and I started walking. I didn't realize it at first, but we started walking through a forest. It was beautiful though. There were flowers of different colors, there were a whole bunch of trees, and we were walking along side a little creek. That creek slowly ended up turning into a small river as we continued walking.
The river wasn't moving very fast, and it went into a pond. My dad took me up to the pond. "What do you see?" He asked.
I looked over the edge and saw my reflection starring back at me. I saw my dad's too. "I only see my reflection." I told him as I looked up at him. He shook his head at me and smiled. "Look a bit harder."
I did, and the area where I was looking slowly started transforming. I didn't know what was happening though. As I continued to watch the pond, everything around me started to turn white, until I couldn't see anything. Everything, even the pond, was white. Completely white. White was the only thing I could see. That white slowly transformed into my room.
I was so confused... Why was I back? My dad wasn't here either. I didn't know where he went. I was back at my house, but I was still a ghost. I don't know why he sent me back here.
I heard crying and knew where it was coming from. It was coming from Soda's room. I went in there and saw Soda. He was just sitting there, crying. He cried and cried and cried. My eyes watered, knowing I couldn't do anything to help him. So, I just sat down next to him. I saw that he was holding a note, and it was his handwriting. He wrote it.
It said,
Dear Pony,
I hate myself for what I did to you. I don't like who I am. There's nothing good about me anymore. I'm sick of wasting my time, and I'm tired of living. Everyday is just a struggle. I eat the same demons everyday when I wake up and I'm so tired. I don't know what happened to me, or where I went wrong. I miss you, so much that it hurts. Will this pain ever go away?
I'm trying not to think about it all but no matter how hard I try to distract myself, nothing makes me feel better. Imagining that your with me, and what you would say... Sometimes, its almost like I can feel you. I don't want this to be over because when this is over, I have to admit that your gone. Forever. I'm not ready. I never was.
I read through it a few times. He was still crying, and I saw that he had a pencil in his hand, and I could tell that he had just wrote this not too long ago, and that he wasn't done yet. That's when the front door opened. "Soda, I'm home!" Darry yelled.
Soda didn't answer, but just cried harder. Darry must have heard, because he came into the room. He sat down by Soda and just hugged him, trying to calm him down.
"What's wrong little buddy?" Darry asked calmly, although he already knew.
Soda quickly broke away from the hug, and a bit of anger flashed through his eyes, but he was still crying. "Everything I have ever cared about... Is gone!... Ruined! Turned to crap! Dead! I have never been more alone! I have... nothing! No one, alright?! It's all gone!" Soda just starred at Darry after the outburst, and started crying again.
Darry looked back at Sodapop. "I need you to calm down." He said quietly.
"No, No, No! I can't! I can't! I can't! I... I can't! I can't! It hurts! It hurts! Just make it stop, please make it stop, it hurts!"
My eyes widened a tiny bit as I remember saying those exact same words when I was squirming around on the ground the day I got stabbed.
"I can't move on! I can't do this, I can't! I can't handle him being gone! If that makes me weak then fine, I'm weak but... I can't handle feeling like this anymore!"
"You're not weak Sodapop." Darry said.
"Then why does it hurt so much?!" Soda asked.
Darry's eyes got watery. "Because it was real."