Her mind has been running for a few days now. Days, nights, during car rides, quiet moments. It snags at her heartstrings everytime he wraps his nimble around her stomach to pull her into him. He plays her like a violin. He knows right where to play her to get the reaction he wants. It kills her.
And this stakeout is definitely going to be the death of her. He's talking and mumbling and she doesn't know half of what he's saying. But he just keeps talking, as if he can sense that she's tense. He doesn't want to push her.
Yet, he does want to push her. But he wants to push her the right way. He wants to push her to be a better person and push her to take responsibility for her own happiness. He doesn't want to push her to tell him anything she's not ready to tell him.
This is definitely not something she's ready to tell him. How do you drop something like that on a person? Something so big, something that she could so very easily suppress. She just has to believe that she doesn't want it. She didn't want it not long ago. Why can't it be so simple?
She knows he wants it too. And so if she tells him that she wants it, its going to happen. She can't take it back. Once she says that she wants this, her wish is his command.
She wants to unwant it.
But she can't. Because she really really does want it. And its not gonna change.
There's so many variables, risks. And for once, she's looked past those risks to see the beauty that would inevitably come along with it.
She wants to be the mother of his child. Damn, she wants it so badly.
His rambling continues, "and Monty was just so worn out from his walk, but he smelled so bad that I just had to give him a bath…" and she was just SO DONE with the incessant babble.
Her desire rumbles deep within her, and wish her frustration with him and her want in the front of her mind, she blurts out the sentence she's been trying so hard not to say.
"I want a baby."
His rant stops pretty immediately, and his head turns from the door he's been watching and his eyes fall upon her.
"Stakeout, Deeks. Watch it."
"You can't say that to me and then expect me to just keep staring at that door that's not going to open."
She looks away from him, back to the door their supposed to be watching. "I'm not sure why it's a surprise to you, Deeks. We've been married for like, a year."
"Because you're notorious for shooting me down when I bring up kids."
"We'd only been married for three months!" she exclaimed.
"It was a wake-up call," he said quietly.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't ready."
"So are you saying that you're ready now?"
She sighs. "No, I don't think I'll ever be ready."
He squints, signaling that she'd not making any sense.
"I may never be ready. But I want it. I want it with you."
"So…"
"I want a baby. Let's do it."
He rolls his head back, slamming it against the headrest of his seat. In her peripheral vision, she sees his smile. It lights up his face. He wanted this for so long. She's giving him something he really wants. Something you want.
And suddenly, the door flings open. A large man busts out the door, holding a gun to another man's head, and the pair jump into action.
"Lets go shoot some bad guys," he says, as they quickly make their way out of the car and to the scene. Of course, they save the day, the bad guy goes to prison, and all is well. Baby, it never gets old .
That night, she pushes the key into the lock and she walks into their home. She kicks her shoes off by the door, and Monty is sent to the backyard to do his business. She takes a moment to stare at the fridge. Its her turn to 'cook dinner'. Although, she never quite ends up cooking dinner, because well, she'd Kensi. She doesn't cook dinner.
He comes home just 20 minutes later, he'd dropped her off at home before running to the grocery store. When he walks in, she shouts, "What do you want for dinner, babe?"
He walks into the kitchen, pulls her into him and kisses her hard.
"Are you 100% sure you want a baby?"
She looks at him a little crookedly. "Yeah, I want a baby," she says, so coolly that she surprises herself even.
He pulls his grocery bag up off of the counter. "Then I've got dinner."
She gingerly opens the bag, which has tons of little baby food jars.
"The little old lady in the aisle said that the blueberry kind tasted the best."
She giggled. "We're gonna eat baby food?"
He giggled back. "Well, yeah. We have to get in the spirit."
"You realize babies don't pop out of the womb eating this stuff, right?"
He rolls his eyes. "Duh. But seriously, the little old lady said these taste good. Plus we'll have to know which ones to feed the little ninja."
"So we're really gonna do this right now?"
"Oh yeah," he said, reaching into the bag and pulled out tiny spoons. "Here's your spoon, Wonder Woman."
She takes the spoon. "I call the blueberry one."
"Don't worry, I got two of them."
She can feel his eyes on her as they dig into the jars. "So you know, at some point, we're actually gonna have to make the baby at some point right?" she asks sarcastically.
"You ready to get pregnant?"
"I don't quite think it works that way."
"Gotta start somewhere."
"Gotta start sometime."
"So after we finish these to jars?" he asks, holding up his jar and pointing to hers.
She sticks her lip up and nods, scooping up another bite and licking it off of the spoon. She takes to more bites before she's just done. She sets the half empty jar down on the table.
"Or now," she shrugs.
He sets his jar down, more like slams it down, and agrees. "Ya, no, now totally works."