Skyfall
Chapter Forty-One
Rebecca pushed the button on her phone, becoming anxious as it started to ring.
"What's wrong?" Donna's voice came through on the other end.
"Why do you think something is wrong?" She asked.
"Because it is Saturday." Donna laughed. "You are in Boston and you are supposed to be having fun with Harvey and the kids. But instead you are calling me. So what's wrong?"
"I don't know how to say it, other than just straight out." She sighed. "Marcus is dead."
"What?" Donna gasped. "How?"
"He killed himself last night at the rehab center." She explained.
"Oh my God."
"Yeah."
"How is Harvey doing?" Donna asked after a moment.
"He is devastated." She explained. "I've never seen him like this. It's much worse than when Katie died."
"How are you doing?"
"I'm…I don't know anymore." She admitted. "I just wanted to let you know what was going on so you could let everyone know I won't be back on Monday like I planned. Most of the meetings I have on Monday can be rescheduled and I don't have court until later in the week so…"
"You take as much time as you need." Donna interrupted her. "I'll make sure everything here is covered."
"Thank you." She smiled, even though Donna couldn't see it. "I'm setting up the memorial to be on Monday. So I will probably be back on Wednesday."
"You don't have to rush back."
"I know." She conceded. "But I have to figure out a new place for us to live because we are bringing Ethan and Olivia to live with us. And I need to find schools for them…I just have a long list of things to do."
"If you need any help with it, just let me know."
"Thanks Donna."
"And if you need to talk, you know where to find me."
"I appreciate it."
"You know, once I tell everyone what happened, they are going to want to come for the memorial." Donna warned her.
"It's just going to be a small gathering at the same funeral home that handled Katie's death at 1 pm." She explained. "Marcus apparently wrote in his note that he didn't want a big funeral like Katie so we aren't having it at the church. While I appreciate that they would want to come, I don't think it is a good idea."
"Ok." Donna said. "I'll let everyone know."
"Thank you." She replied.
"Please don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." Donna told her.
"I appreciate it."
"Take care and tell Harvey…well tell him I'm sorry."
"I will." She said before ending the call.
That night after dinner, Harvey went outside with a beer and sat on the top step of the deck. He looked out at the backyard and sighed. This whole thing was his fault. He should have known that Marcus wasn't strong enough to deal with the fact that Katie was pregnant when she died. It was the whole reason why none of them told him after Katie's death. They all knew it would devastate him.
But he had to go and rub it in Marcus' face while also telling him that he was a screw up. He should have insisted that he be let into the rehab place so that he could make things right with Marcus. But instead he believed that they would talk things through once he completed rehab. That was a huge mistake. He shouldn't have let Marcus go so long thinking that he was mad at him.
He really wasn't. He just got mad at the time and frustrated. By the next day most of his anger was gone but the damage had been done. And now there was no way to let his brother know how sorry he was. Now there was only a mountain of guilt and regret.
"Uncle Harvey?"
He looked over to see Olivia standing next to him. "Yes, sweetie?"
"Can you please put me to bed tonight?" She asked.
He sighed and nodded. "Of course." He took a big gulp of his beer and then got up. After placing the rest of the beer on the table, he walked over and picked Olivia up, gathering her in his arms.
"Thanks Uncle Harvey." She smiled.
"You're welcome, kiddo." He said, forcing a smile her way. Once he got to her room he placed her gently on the bed and watched as she slid under the covers.
"Uncle Harvey?"
"Yes?" He looked over at her.
"Are you sad like me?" She asked.
He sat down next to her on the bed and sighed. "Actually…yes. I am incredibly sad. Your dad was my brother and I miss him."
"I'd be really sad too if Ethan was in Heaven." She told him before chuckled. "Except when he is mean to me. I wouldn't miss that."
He forced another small smile.
"What was my daddy like as a kid?" She asked with a huge smile on her face.
He sighed, not wanting to get into childhood memories. But he couldn't find a way to say no to his niece, especially since this was the first time he had seen her smile today since they told her about Marcus' death.
"He was…well see our father was on the road a lot when we were growing up. So it was normal for us to go a week without seeing him because he was traveling around and playing music. Since I was older than your dad, I was usually left in charge of him. It seemed like he was always getting into trouble and I was always trying to fix things."
He remembered an incident from the past. "One time, when your dad was your age…"
Harvey walked down the stairs. He was in charge of Marcus while their mom when to the grocery. As he got to the final step, he heard a loud crash from the living room and hurried over. "What happened?" He asked, stopping in the doorway when he saw a vase on the floor right next to Marcus' basketball. "Mom is going to kill you when she gets home."
"She will also be mad at you because you let me play ball in the house." Marcus pointed out.
"I was upstairs for two minutes." He argued. "That doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want and then blame it on me."
"Look, I just wanted to try spinning the basketball on my finger. It looks so cool when the other kids at school do it."
"Well then try it outside. Not in the living room!" Harvey yelled.
"Ok. But how are we going to fix this?"
"Get me the superglue."
A few moments later, Marcus came back with the glue and placed it in Harvey's hand.
"I don't think this is going to work." Harvey sighed, looking at the pieces.
"We have to try." Marcus encouraged him.
"Sometimes you can't put broken pieces back together again."
"So what happened?" Olivia asked.
"We both got in trouble." Harvey chuckled. "He was in trouble for playing ball in the house and I was in trouble for not supervising him as much as he apparently needed. So we both got grounded."
"That doesn't seem fair." Olivia complained.
"It taught us a lesson though." He pointed out.
"I guess." She yawned. "Thanks for the story."
"You're welcome. Do you want me to read you a book?"
"No." She shook her head as her eyes started to droop. "I just wanted to hear about my daddy."
He watched as she fell asleep and stayed next to her bed for a moment. Reliving a memory about Marcus was bittersweet. He was glad it was able to make her smile though.
He didn't feel like leaving yet so he adjusted the covers for her and continued to sit on the side of her bed.
Rebecca sighed as she typed into her computer.
"It's getting late. What are you doing?" Lily asked, sitting next to her on the couch.
"I'm trying to find a place for us to live." She sighed. "Since we are taking in Olivia and Ethan, then we need a bigger place and we need schools close by that are good."
"Do you have to do that now?" Lily questioned.
"I already have Marcus' memorial service all planned. Everything is ready and set up." She explained.
"That wasn't the reason I asked. I asked because it's getting late."
"I have to get started on this." She sighed again. "I told Harvey this morning I would take care of it and I want to honor my word."
"Yeah, but…"
"Don't worry." She assured the woman. "I just need to continue working through the long list of things that need taken care of."
"Rebecca, dear, I do appreciate you taking care of the memorial service because I know Harvey and I couldn't do it right now. But you need to slow down. Everything doesn't have to be taken care of immediately."
"I know that." She looked over at Lily.
"Do you?" Lily asked. "You need to take the time to grieve as well."
"I know." She nodded. "I just…I need to get this done. I need to at least narrow it down to the top five places so that when I get back to New York City I can take a look at these places. The sooner I pick something, the sooner we can get the kids moved."
"Is Harvey going to help you pick out a place?"
"No." She shook her head. "I don't think so. He is…preoccupied."
"I know, but he should still help you." Lily pointed out. "This is going to be your home together."
"I don't think he cares right now.' She scoffed.
"He is taking Marcus' death very personally." Lily noted.
"Yes, he is." She agreed. "I don't know how to help him or reach him."
"Just be there for him like you have been. It will be alright." Lily advised. "Are you ok?"
"Of course." She said, trying to give the woman a small smile.
"You don't have to pretend with me." Lily chuckled. "I've gotten a chance to know you pretty well the past month and I know for a fact you aren't fine."
"Ok. I'm not fine. But I will be." She assured her. "I'm devastated about Marcus but I'm more worried about everyone else."
"I know you are." Lily nodded. "I've seen you bouncing around all day trying to make things better for everyone. But you need to take care of yourself too. Have you at least been talking to Harvey about it?"
"No." She shook her head. "He's been too distant."
"I thought maybe he wasn't talking to me because he didn't feel like we had reached that level of closeness in our new and improved relationship. But he isn't talking to you either?"
"Nope." She shook her head.
"I'm sure he is just processing things and will talk to you soon." Lily smiled at her. "In the meantime, do you want to talk to me?"
"No." She shook her head. "I'm not going to burden you with it."
"You aren't burdening me." Lily assured her. "You've been listening to me whine and complain about the treatments for weeks now, and you let me cry on your shoulder for hours last night. I think it's clear at the very least I owe you my shoulder."
"You don't owe me anything."
"Still…we could argue about it all night or you could just talk to me. So spill it."
She hesitated for a moment but then decided to talk. "I just feel horrible because I feel like I should have made more of an effort to reach out to Marcus. I should have gone over there on the weekends and made him talk to me."
"You can't feel bad about that." Lily advised. "I know I am struggling with it too, but we both tried to reach out to him. We both tried to let him know we were there for him. In the end, he is responsible for his own decisions. It's something I am having a hard time accepting too, but that is the reality."
"Yeah." She nodded. Everything she said was making sense.
"None of us knew exactly how troubled he was, but that doesn't necessarily mean we failed him. It just means we didn't communicate well enough. And the lesson we need to take away from that is we need to be telling each other everything." Lily reasoned.
"You're right." She nodded. "Thank you."
"Anytime." Lily replied. "And try not to worry about Harvey too much. Everything will be fine."
"You are right about it getting late." She yawned. "I think I'll just go to bed."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight." She reached over and gave Lily a hug. Then she picked up her laptop and headed upstairs. She saw Harvey come out of Olivia's room and smiled.
"Hey." He greeted quietly.
"Hey." She whispered. "I wondered what happened to you."
"Olivia wanted me to put her to bed and then I just sat there watching her sleep for a while." He explained.
"I'm going to bed." She told him. "Do you want to come with me?"
"Nah." He shook his head. "I'm going to stay up a little while longer."
She was disappointed but tried not to let it show. "Ok. Then I guess I'll say goodnight in case I fall asleep before you come in." She leaned in and gave him a kiss.
Normally he would try to deepen the kiss, or at least wrap his arms around her waist and pull her closer. This time though, he just kept his hands to his sides. She ended the kiss quickly. "Goodnight Harvey."
"Goodnight." He said quietly before walking down the hallway towards the stairs.
She watched him walk away and sighed. Once he was out of her sight she headed towards their room.