Ello, me pretteh kittens. More plots? Just a spoon-full?

It creeps up on me. Quiet. Sneaky. A ghost through the wall. And it jerks me from reality, or too reality maybe. Scares me so suddenly and violently that all I can do is curl in on myself and pray to every spirit, every ancestor I have that it will stop.

It doesn't stop though.

Perhaps I should be glad for it, elated and proud that this is happening. But somewhere between the pain and the backlog of emotion it turns into something ugly and twisted and…and I just want it to stop.

Maybe because it is my first time, I think it's a ruse for nothing more than my death.

Blood pain fear

I've never had the discussion necessary for this moment. Because it never came and when it never came the talk it would have evoked faded away into obscurity and left me with a hole where hope should be. But now it's here. It's here and I'm scared. So scared in fact, that I locked the bathroom door when I was still capable of controlling my trembling limbs and when my legs were able to hold up my dead wait.

Hayley would know what to do.

That thought alone breeches a restraint and I curl further in on myself. This has got to stop.

It's been a day since Klaus asked me to stay. A day imbued with so much heart-felt reassurance that the thought of Hayley should not make this moment worse. But it does. And I assume that's just part of this terrifyingly wonderful or wonderfully terrifying moment.

But in actuality having Hayley here would make it easier. Less frightening. I would love to say having mom here would be nice too, but the miles between us are almost as cold as those that separate me from Hayley. Like all the thoughts before this one, it makes the situation worse.

I'm alone.

I know this is not necessarily true, yet I can't help but believe it. Klaus had an errand to run – I did not see him when returning from the Grill – and for some unfathomable reason, despite what happened between us the previous morning, I can't help but think he'll never come back. In my mind I characterise him sneaking away, slinking off into the darkness where I'll never find him and I'll be alone. Again. Like always.

My heart seems to break prematurely and I bite into the soft skin of my thumb to keep from doing anything drastic – like shriek. Sob. Be the cry baby I'm certainly turning into.

I stare absently at the edge of the shower-door, trying and failing to will my body to relax. The waves of pain make it impossible. It feels as if Jane is standing over me, but instead of allowing her ability to wash over me and consume me, she's concentrating on making my bones ache, my muscles scream in unlived tension. If I didn't know better I'd assume I pinched some nerve in my spine, or someone was trying to tear my body apart from the inside out.

The second theory would explain the blood.

Distantly a door opens, there's a muted pause in which I sniff, breathing in a ragged breath. Then suddenly the door snaps closed and not even a second passes before there's banging on the bathroom door.

"Leah!"

I stare over at the wood, wondering why I'm suddenly angry at Klaus, angry at the concern in his voice, angry at him for an imagined abandonment. There's no logical answer, but that doesn't keep me from scowling through the pain. He's too loud. Too forceful. Doesn't he understand personal boundaries? I'm in the bathroom for goodness sake. I could be on the toilet right now and he's trying to – or is on the verge of – bursting through the door.

When I speak my voice sounds like the aftermath of a rock concert, "Go away."

He hears despite how lowly I mutter the words and for a moment the banging stops before it starts up again. "Are you okay? What happened? I smell blood-"

"Leave me alone," it sounds no better than a whimper and I can practically feel the concern twisting into fury a few feet away.

"Leah," his voice is low in warning and it would be sexy if I didn't feel the sudden compulsion to strangle him. "If you do not assure me that you are unharmed within the next ten seconds I am breaking down this door, no matter how inappropriate you may be… Ten."

I duck my head down against my chest, wanting nothing more than to just lie there, in the shower, on the floor, being pummelled by boiling hot water for the rest of my life. Responsibilities and cares be damned.

"Nine. Eight. Seven."

I peek at the door, an unnatural amount of hope and fury and sorrow tearing at my rupturing intestines.

"Six. Five…" he grates, and I can image his teeth bared, eyes alive with ferocity.

Dragging in a harsh breath.

"Four…"

"I…"

"Three."

"I need Hayley." The words tumble from my lips like a catholic at confession, the sting of tears behind my eyes bursts to life and for the hundredth time in too short a period I'm an emotional wreck. Klaus does not continue his counting and I can feel his silence like a physical entity settling over my wet skin. "I need Hayley."

The wood groans, but I interpret the sound of his clothes rustling as he leans against the door. "I know. I know, but… what can I do? What…"

I try to scrub my face of tears but they're so wet from the onslaught of water that it accomplishes nothing. "I don't know," I sniff into the space between us. Maybe the pain would leave if he held me in his arms.

"Leah…" It's a plea and it serves to make me wail louder.

Not like this. He can't see me like this. "I-I just, I need Hayley."

"Are you hurt? Did someone-"

"No," I drag in gasping breaths. "I'm… c-can you get Elena? Or…or…" I can't think of any other female companion, friend or acquaintance. God, this would be easier if Hayley were alive. "Please."

Movement and the rush of a breath. "Okay," A pause. "I will be right back. Leah…"

I wait, trying to control the rush in my chest, the pain consuming my body, the throbbing in my head. It shouldn't hurt this much. It shouldn't. Elena will know.

"I will be right back." He repeats and this time when silence comes I know he's not behind that door.

Not alone. Not alone. I squeeze my eyes shut. I'm not alone, damnit.

Elena is a godsend.

Somehow she knows even before she wrestles her way into the bathroom.

She knows. And with infinite compassion and tenderness she helps me from my soaked clothes. Wraps a towel around my shoulders and another around my hair. She traces soothing circles against my back that do nothing for the pain but help me stop crying.

She leaves and returns. Snapping something at Klaus before joining me in the bathroom once more, she has a fresh pair of my pyjamas and a small packet from a pharmacy.

"It's okay," she tells me, voice radiating comfort and hands kind as they help me dress.

My body continues to tremble.

"The pain goes away." Elena says, "I didn't have terrible pains but Bonnie and Caroline did." She flinches and catches a stray breath. "Sorry, I keep forgetting. This whole thing with Tyler and Klaus, Caroline, you…" She shakes her head, purses her lips. "It's generally only the first day that's this bad, or at least it was for them. Well, everyone's different, but, yeah, you'll be okay. I'd offer you some pain medication but I'm not sure if it'll work on you?"

I shake my head, unless it's morphine or something equally strong it's going to have little to no effect on my body. My digestive system's too fast and my core temperature too high, it works through pharmaceutical prescriptions as if I'm ingesting sugar instead.

"In that case, all I can do is go through the motions of making you comfortable. There are a few things we can try. They dull the ache, make it…bearable."

Elena leads me to my room, somehow managing to avoid Klaus intercepting us with a barrage of 'what is wrong'.

I was right in assuming she'd know what to do.

The vampire talks me out of my residual panic. Coaxes the nerves away with chocolate. She gives me two warm bags, one for my abdomen and one for my lower back, which helps the tension in my muscles ease into a false relaxation. It's the best I've felt all day.

"I cried when I had my first period." Elena admits with laughter in her voice. "It scared me witless. Not to mention Jeremey pestering me to know what's wrong – that was awkward – and mom insistently going on and on about 'my baby is turning into a woman'." She stops, face loosing it's amusement.

She's sitting next to where I've curled up on the bed; her attention turns to the play of light on the window sill. "I haven't done something like this in…ages." She flickers her gaze to me and I watch her silently, willing her to continue the words so clearly itching the tip of her tongue. "I mean, I haven't been a vampire that long, but it feels like forever. I honestly haven't thought about it for a while, you tend to do that when you stop experiencing it."

Our gazes clash and she smiles, the expression doesn't reach her eyes.

"I'm jealous." She says and utters a laugh. "I remember that talk we had…what was it? A month ago?"

I nod and reach out to touch her hand.

Elena sighs and grips my fingers. "We hope, and normally we don't see the results. But you, you're just breaking all the rules of the universe. I'm jealous, I'd give a lot to experience this again, you know? Put in a word for me with the big guy, He clearly likes you."

"Elena," I start, feeling all kinds of terrible but she shushes me with a squeeze of my fingers and jumps off the bed.

"Don't pity me." Her voice is strong, her eyes determined. "I'll get my chance again, but for now I'm giving you my hope, okay? If this means anything, it means you get that chance of happiness and I'm holding out for you. You can have kids, Leah." She breathes and when she smiles this time it is real. "You get the chance to have children, and I'm jealous as all get out, but I'm sure you'll make a great mother."

With a parting nod she leaves.

I stay staring at the door for a good minute before Klaus appears. He hesitates in the doorway. I wriggle on the bed and pat the spot next to me. Pushing away the lingering sense of unease from earlier – the emotions have somewhat managed to simmer down and I'm grateful.

Silly, it was so silly.

When he settles down beside me, his hand automatically comes up to push hair from my face. I lean into it, glad, oh so glad to be able to enjoy his presence. His hand rests on my cheek. "Are you hurt?"

I'm thankful he's oblivious, uninformed, unaware. If he was not I don't know how I'd act, how he'd act. "No," It seems silly, even as I lean toward him and he wraps his arms around my torso...

I was dead-on. His hold does make it easier.

My head fits under his chin and my body melds against his. It feels right. It feels like home.

I sigh. I press further against him until we're verging on being one person. The wolf inside me approves of this, she makes me feel proud, cared for and hopelessly needy. The urge to mark Klaus as mine, to seal whatever bond has formed between us has me biting down on the warring sensations.

As great as the situation may seem it can't be allowed to control me, or Klaus. I worked damn hard to get to this moment and I was not going to surrender if for hormones.

Time ticks by and his hands comb my hair, the sensation raises bumps on my forearms.

I cling to his shirt. It's a strange feeling. I'm not small and Klaus is by no means much taller than I am, yet his hold makes me feel tiny, protected in the cavern of his arms. Finally I move from him slightly to assess his face. It's hauntingly stunning, still plagued by the grief of Hayley's absence but it no longer holds the skeletal deadness that he'd had before. He's beautiful and with a pounding heart I know I'm lucky. Whatever his stance on today, just having him like this is enough.

Slowly, deliberately I tell him what happened. I hypothesise that the injuries Jane inflicted on me this second time, caused whatever fault was present in my reproductive system to heal – much like how I removed Sam's scar and the skin grew back smooth. Somehow my body has recognised the ability it never had before. I was experiencing my first menstrual period.

And although I hasten to reassure Klaus that I don't expect him to want me that way, that I don't expect him to help me have the children I so long to have. He presses thousands of reassuring kisses to my face and hands, whispering at how happy he is for me.

"You need to help Elena," I tell him, "Even if you don't find whatever she's looking for,"

Klaus's deft fingers wipe the frown from my face. He'll consider it, his look is not one of promise, but it is enough.

Hours pass with his arms around me, his voice a combination of vibrations against my cheek and sweetness in my ears. The words aren't important. He tells me of childhood, his happier memories, and I tell him of mine.

And I cry against his shoulder, accepting the comfort of his embrace when we think back on Hayley. What she lost. What we lost.

She'd be happy for me too, he says. And I don't doubt him for a second.

This story is almost done… I can hardly believe it X'D... Seriously though.

(OMTribble, I'm going to be an aunty sooooooon! JBSaklsfbaeilurglqak I'm so excited!)

Until next chapter, kittens, behave and be merry ;)