*Trigger Warning - descriptions of a suicide attempt/self harm *

Carlisle's POV

Edward hadn't been this happy since the day that Bella had disappeared.

While we had known the Swan family for years before the kids were born, we hadn't been overly close at first… both Esme and my busy schedules had kept us from forming very many close relationships with people. But once we had Emmett, Esme and I realised how much we had isolated ourselves from the town, and we made a conscious effort to get to know other people, especially those with kids the same age as ours.

First was Emmett. Then two years later came Edward, followed ten months later by Alice. Irish twins, born in the same year. One day Esme had been going stir crazy in the house with all three children… Emmett getting into everything, Edward just beginning to explore on his own and Alice clinging to her as a newborn. It was then that she decided to attend a play group run out of Revered Weber's church… it was there that she really began to interact with Renee, who despite having Isabella to contend with herself, had helped to wrangle Emmett – not an easy task for anybody. From that day on, we began to build a solid relationship with both Renee and Charlie, our children growing up together.

Edward and Alice, they had always been close. But it was also no surprise that while Alice and Bella had been best friends, Edward and Bella had been equally as close. I still remember the day when Edward walked in from kindergarten at just five years old, sat down in the big leather chair in my office, and announced that one day he was going to marry Isabella Swan.

I had chuckled in the moment and asked him what he liked about her. He had known every detail about her, and answered every question I had asked him thoroughly… and in the years that would follow, I began to believe that statement. The two of them were like magnets, and I didn't doubt that they would always be close.

The day that Bella was taken, haunted Edward for twelve full years.

It had been Edward's idea to attend the fair… Bella hated big parties, but she loved the fair, and she loved celebrating with Emmett, Alice, and Edward… as well as the two Hale children, Rosalie and Jasper. The six of them were always doing things together and it was natural for us as parents to want to give our children the things that they asked for… and a day at the fair seemed overall reasonable.

At some point during the day however, Bella had gotten annoyed with Edward and they had fought… this wasn't usual for them and Edward was devastated as he allowed her space to go find the girls. This was the decision that Edward would always regret, even now, even with Bella and her own daughter in the safety of Charlie's home… Edward still felt guilty.

But at least he was smiling again.

"Son?" Edward had just gotten back from dropping the girls back off with Charlie, I could practically see the storm cloud hanging over his head. He hated leaving them… he wanted to be there for her, he wanted to never let her out of his sight again. But he also knew that wasn't healthy and it wasn't what they needed right now.

"Thank you Dad," It was rare to see Edward get choked up. He could be moody and brooding, but to see an actual display of raw emotion on his face was rare.

"For what?" I asked as I came further into his room, I rarely came up to the third floor anymore. Although Edward may have still lived in our house, he was an adult now, and we liked to respect his privacy. But tonight I sensed that he needed to talk.

"For not letting me quit." He said quietly, pushing his sleeves up to reveal the scars on his wrists and lower arms. They glistened almost silver in the moonlight and I knew what he was referring to.

"It was because of your support that I never tried again… you kept me alive… you kept me hopeful… you loved me even when I was numb to everything, and you never let me go." His voice cracked and I could see the pain in his eyes. As hard as Bella's captivity had been for her and with realising that nothing could possibly compare, we all acknowledged that we had all gone through our own struggles with it as well.

It was the end of their junior year of high school… Edward and Alice had been home alone on the first day of summer vacation, and none of us had known that Edward was planning it. Oh, we all knew that he had never forgotten and had continued to look for Bella… but we also didn't know the impact that his compulsive searching was having on his mental health.

It was Alice who found him… he was in the bathroom, collapsed on the floor. It was Alice who reacted quickly enough to safe him… wrapping her belt around his upper arm while she applied pressure to the primary wound and immediately calling an ambulance. Seconds later, and we would have lost him.

My relationship with my son had always been strong, but after his suicide attempt, it grew solidly… I became his confidant, and he learned to trust me with his feelings – with the intensity of his grief for Bella's disappearance. He never tried to kill himself again… but it didn't mean that he stopped feeling hopeless and overwhelmed, the emotion hitting him suddenly and crippling him at times. But I had vowed that day in the emergency room, where I saw my son unconscious and barely alive, that I would be there for him throughout it all. And I was. And together he learned to cope better… he learned to live again, and he even smiled. But the smile never reached his eyes.

Until now.