Hi again! Welcome to chapter 4 :3 This particular chapter is dedicated to a fellow Panda fan. Go pandas! :3 Of course, this has nothing to do with Pandas :( DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia.

Dinner was ravioli to celebrate Feliciano's first day of high school(that was not my idea...sheesh, the little bastard even gets to celebrate while I feel like heck.) No one, thankfully, mentioned what had happened to me today but I still could read Grandpa's vibes: he was not pleased.

I wrapped my pasta around my fork and brought it to my lips. This was just the kind of home I hated, living in fear of rebuke. I loved my grandfather, I really did, but I missed the old him. When he would smile and ruffle my hair if I made some smart-aleck idiotic remark. When he would give me guitar lessons every night after school. After mother died, he changed to what he was now: more reserved, harsher, less tolerant. Every day was depressing nowadays. Too much...

"Nonno! Lovino!" Feliciano suddenly piped up, "I met my Homeroom teacher today! He's very nice."

I rolled my eyes at this. Leave it to Feliciano to be the fucking teacher's pet.

"That's nice," Grandpa replied, obviously not paying attention to what Feliciano was saying. He was also picking at his food in the same manner as I was.

"He's so cool! He's from Spain and speaks Spanish fluently! Everyone in my class loves him, and oh! Grandpa..."

I was barely listening, feigning interest, nodding and saying "Yeah, go on." every few seconds. What was wrong with him? Couldn't he read the mood and tell something was wrong? No, I reminded myself, he couldn't. Feli wasn't like that.

"...And then, guess what he said?! He told..."

"FELICIANO, WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" I snarled, surprising even myself. I didn't think I could speak so loudly after what had happened earlier.

"But Lovino..." "NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PIECE OF SHIT TEACHER, OKAY? NO ONE DOES. SO JUST STOP! STOP IT!" I was, much to my embarrassment, near tears. My outburst was so sudden, even Feliciano was speechless.

Grandfather stood up from his chair, his face red. From annoyance or anger? I don't know which. " LOVINO..."

"Stop...I don't want to hear it..." I sobbed, cursing myself. "I'm just...sick of this." The cut on my arm was starting to sting painfully. Was it a coincidence?

"Fratello...!" Feliciano protested, looking genuinely concerned.

"Maybe if you controlled yourself, this wouldn't be happening." Grandpa interrupted us, his tone as cold as the forgotten pasta on the table in front of us.

"What wouldn't be happening?" Feliciano asked, clueless as always.

"You wouldn't understand." I muttered, avoiding his eyes. God help me, I begged, glancing at the ceiling.

"Lovino, go to your room." For once I was glad of the punishment.

"Fratello, wait! What's wrong?!" Feliciano asked, his annoyingly happy look gone from his face.

"Feliciano, I asked him to leave. Don't ask him unwanted questions."

I had never heard grandpa talk to Feliciano like that. It made me mad. How could he even treat his favorite grandson like that? But I didn't argue, I wanted to leave.

I turned and fled.

When I was finally alone in my room, hugged Katerina, and cried. It was childish, I know, but even grownups cry when they're stressed out. Maybe even Mrs. Karpusi and Mr. Bielschmidt...well...probably not Mr. Bielschmidt. But my point is, there's nothing wrong with crying.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

************************************************************************************************************************************** "Fratello?" Feliciano's voice interrupted my deep void of sleep.

I opened one of my eyes. Oh...why him of all the people in world that could've come? Panicking, I shoved my cut arm under the soft covers. Silly of me. It was dark, Feliciano couldn't see. Unfortunately, I couldn't either for various reasons. One thing I could see easily was Feli's green, fluffy, footsie pajamas. He usually wore these during the cold seasons. I have matching red ones but I've never worn them. Usually I only wear a tank top and shorts, nothing fancy. But now this only made me feel bad about not wearing them. "What the heck do you want? Hurry up 'cause I want to go back to sleep." I grumbled, yawning and rubbing my arms.

"I want to know what's going on."

"It's none of your business." I replied, sleepy.

"Why are you cutting?" He sounded so serious. To be honest, it scared me. Oh sh*t.

"Who said I was cutting?"

"It's obvious, Fratello! Your arm...It's all bandaged!" He practically yelped. " and it wasn't like that when I gave you your homework! You're always at scratching it! And..."

Damn, I forgot that my cutting caused a huge family problem when I was younger.

"Why are you so worried about me?" I snapped. "Why would you care?! You're Nonno's favorite and he loves you to pieces. And don't talk so loudly, you're going to wake grandpa up."

Feliciano's eyes filled with tears. "You're my fratello. I care more about you than almost anything." He said, more quietly this time, thank god.

I care more about you than almost...anything? I felt like such a bad brother. But he's the one making me look bad...Right?

"Go to sleep, Feli."

"But..." He protested.

"I said, go to sleep." I muttered.

"O-okay..." Feliciano left me in the darkness of my room. I hate to admit it but I'm slightly scared of the dark. But, somehow...I managed to fall asleep again.

I dreamt of falling into that deep black void of obscurity.

I'M SO SORRY LOVI DX

Apologies, I can't write angry grownups very well. And yes, I know I'm taking the story too fast. Sorry. Anyways, Feli isn't as clueless in my world as he is normally. Yes, he may act clueless but he's actually a very intelligent, awareofeverything-type person. Lovino's lucky to have such a good brother :3

I believe Antonio shows up in the next chapter :) So enjoy!