Skyfall

Chapter Forty-Seven

Rebecca came to a stop at the red light in her rental car and released a deep sigh. She got up early this morning to get on a plane to Boston and she was already tired. Taking a look at the clock on the rental car, she saw that it was only 9:46 am. At least she was going to keep her word to Ethan. She was going to be there before noon just like she promised. She was only a few minutes away from the house. As the light turned green, she thought about what Harvey's reaction might be about her sudden appearance.

She knew what she hoped his reaction would be. She hoped he would be thrilled to see her and she hoped they would be able to fix the issues they seemed to be having. But she wasn't naïve. She realized that surprising him wasn't going to magically solve all of their problems. Maybe it could help a little though.

She pulled into the driveway and hesitated for a moment before getting out of the car. She hoped that he wouldn't be upset at her sudden appearance. But she had to be prepared for him to be angry at her coming. She got out of the car and took her bag with her as she went to the front door. She used the key she had and let herself in.

It was quiet inside and she set her bag down by the door. Then she went into the living room and found Olivia watching TV. "Hey."

Olivia looked over and smiled. "Aunt Becca!" She got up from the couch and ran over to give her a hug. "I didn't know you were coming!"

"It was a surprise." She smiled, hugging Olivia back. Then she pulled away and knelt down to her level. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good." Olivia replied. "Ethan showed me the pictures of the new house. It looks so cool. I've already figured out what one I want for my bedroom and I know exactly how I want to decorate it!"

"I'm glad you like the new place and I would love to hear all about how you want to decorate it. But first I have to go find Uncle Harvey." She smiled. "Do you know where he is?"

"I think he is in the kitchen."

"Thanks."

"Will you also play a game with me later?" Olivia asked.

"Absolutely! Just name the game and I'll be happy to play it with you." She promised, giving the girl one more hug before heading into the kitchen. She went in and saw Harvey sitting at the island drinking coffee. He was just staring out into space and she wondered what he was thinking about. "I really miss your coffee. I wish I could have some right now."

He looked over at her and she could see the confusion on his face.

"I wasn't expecting you. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I thought I would surprise you." She laughed.

"It definitely is a surprise."

"Good surprise or bad surprise?"

"You have to ask?" He chuckled.

"Yeah. I kind of do at this point." She admitted, sitting next to him at the counter.

He sighed in a way that he didn't used to sigh at her. It was the same kind of sigh he used when Louis would come in and annoy him. She tried not to read too much into it because it was just a sigh, aware that she could be overthinking things.

"It's always a good surprise."

She leaned in and kissed him. He pulled away a little too quickly, which left her disappointed.

"Would you like some tea?" He offered, getting up and already heading to where the tea was.

"Sure." She nodded, watching him move around the kitchen to make her tea. She wasn't sure what to say anymore so she stayed quiet. After a few minutes he placed the cup in front of her. "Thank you." She gave him a small smile.

"Is there something wrong though?" He asked. "I didn't think you would come back so soon. You were just here a couple of days ago."

"Ethan asked me last night if I was going to come up for the weekend." She explained. "I wasn't sure how to say no, so here I am."

"That must be why he was happier this morning." He pointed out. "I think you are his favorite."

"I don't know about that." She shook her head. "I think it's more like I understand what it is like to lose both your parents. Besides, if we are talking about favorites, Olivia seems to like you a little more."

"It is certainly possible." He smirked.

She was going to say something else when Ethan came in to the kitchen. "Hey!"

"Aunt Becca!" Ethan rushed over and gave her a hug.

"So since you are here and can watch the kids, I think I'm going to go back over to the house for a bit and continue packing." Harvey said, standing up.

She looked over at her husband and frowned. Part of the reason she came was also to spend time with him. Now he just wanted to leave.

"I'll be back later." He told them, turning to leave.

She sighed, watching him leave the kitchen. Then she turned to Ethan. "Excuse me for a moment." She hurried after Harvey, finding him outside. "Harvey!"

"Yeah?" He turned to face her.

"Why are you leaving?" She asked. "I thought that we could spend some time together."

"There is a lot of stuff that needs to be done at Marcus' house." He explained.

"I know. But there is a lot of stuff to that needs to be done here too." She argued.

"Rebecca…"

"Why are you avoiding me?" She asked.

"I'm not…"

"Yes you are!" She scoffed. "Ever since Marcus died you have been looking for ways to avoid me. You've been distant and dismissive."

"I've just had a lot on my mind."

"And I haven't? Both of our lives have been turned upside down!"

"Look, we can talk about this later." He sighed.

"No, Harvey…we need to talk about this now. Stop avoiding things." She didn't want to be so confrontational, but at this point she didn't feel like she had a choice.

"No, we'll talk about it later and that's final." He insisted, turning his back to her and getting in the car.

She crossed her arms over her chest, watching him drive away. She had a feeling that when they talked about things tonight it was going to end in an argument. But maybe that was what had to happen in order for them to move forward. She turned around to go back inside and saw Ethan standing in the doorway.

"How long were you standing there?" She asked nervously, hoping he hadn't seen that whole exchange.

"Long enough to know you and Uncle Harvey are fighting and it seems serious." Ethan replied before going back inside.

She released a heavy sigh. She didn't want Ethan to know that she and Harvey were having problems and felt bad that now he was aware of it.

Harvey sat in the driveway, willing himself to go inside. He knew that Rebecca was angry because he went to Marcus's house instead of spending time with her and the kids. And she would be even more upset that he stayed away all day. It was dark now and he knew the kids would be in bed already. He somehow knew that Rebecca wouldn't be asleep yet though.

But that wasn't the only reason she was mad. He could tell that she was getting frustrated with him because he was avoiding her. She was right about that. It didn't start off as something he did on purpose. But being around her was painful because he had to constantly keep secrets from her.

He couldn't tell her everything about Marcus. He was too embarrassed and ashamed. The Marcus from his dreams kept telling him that Rebecca wouldn't understand what happened, she would blame him for Marcus' death and then he would end up alone. While he wanted to believe it was simply his imagination working overtime, he couldn't help but wonder if she would ever be able to understand and if dream Marcus was right. Maybe the Specter men were doomed to be alone. Maybe he just needed to stop fighting it.

Either way, he knew he needed to go inside. They were going to have to have a talk. He wanted to tell her everything, but he was scared. He sighed as he got out of the car and entered the house. He didn't find her in the living room or the kitchen but saw that the back door was open so he figured she was outside. Sure enough, she was sitting on the back step with her back towards him.

"Hey." He said, sitting down next to her.

"You're finally back." She sighed.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"You were gone all day."

"I know."

"You didn't check in or let me know when you would be home." She stated.

"No, I didn't." He admitted. He probably should have though. It wasn't fair of him not to. "I'm sorry."

"There are leftovers in the fridge if you are hungry. I made your favorite because I thought you would be home for dinner." She said, standing up and turning to finally look at him.

"Ok." He nodded, feeling extra guilty about not coming back sooner. "Thanks."

"Our real estate agent called. She said that escrow will be closing on Tuesday. I'll need you to come down to sign the papers while the kids are in school."

He sighed. "Do I really have to?"

"Yeah, you really have to." She scoffed. "You know, I haven't asked you for much about this…I didn't ask you to go through the tons of real estate that has flooded the market to find a place for us to live. I didn't ask you to go look at all of the places to see how they measured up to their pictures. I didn't ask you to figure out where the best place for us to live would be so the kids would have good schools to go to. All I asked is that you take a look at the one I wanted to buy and to come sign some papers so we can have a new home. I realize that spending several hours in an airport while the kids are at school to sign papers is annoying and inconvenient, but there's no other way around it if we want to be able to move in next weekend."

She started to walk up the stairs. He assumed she was going inside so he jumped up and beat her to the door, blocking it. "I'm sorry. I'll be there on Tuesday. I'll sign whatever papers you need me to sign and I'll do it without an attitude." He apologized. "What's this about next weekend though?"

"Since the place is already vacant, we can move in next weekend." She told him, shaking her head and walking away from him, going down the stairs and moving deeper into the backyard. "I told you that yesterday."

"I must have forgotten. That soon? Really?" He asked, walking closer to her. He stopped when they were only a couple of feet apart.

"Yeah." She nodded. "Is that a problem? I thought you would want to come back as soon as possible."

She paused and he saw that she was staring intently at his face.

"It is a problem because the truth is you don't really want to come back, do you?"

"What do you mean?" He asked. "Of course I want to come back."

"Ok. Sure you do." She shrugged.

"No, don't ok me and then ignore what you said." He argued as he noticed there was thunder rolling in the distance. He felt it was appropriate since there was a storm brewing in this backyard too. "What did you mean by that?"

She sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Yet you did." He pointed out. "So let's get it out in the open."

"Fine. It feels like you don't care about coming back. It feels like you don't care about anything…or anyone anymore."

"That's not fair." He scoffed.

"I don't think you really want to get into an argument with me about what's fair right now." She scoffed.

He was about to say something when it started to rain. It was slow at first, but then it came down in sheets, surrounding them.

"I've been busting my ass off since Marcus' death to try and make sure that everything is running smoothly—I organized his memorial service, I made sure the kids were taken care of emotionally, I've been finding us a house, finding the kids a new school, arranging for after-school care for them…all while working and trying to take care of both my clients and yours. I've been trying to be strong for your mom and I've been trying to be strong for you. And I've been doing it while wanting to throw up most of the time because I have horrible morning sickness that lasts all day long. But I don't get any help or support from you."

She paused for a moment. "And I know that you are taking care of the kids here and you are trying to get Marcus' stuff taken care of. I know you are doing your own things here and I'm glad that you are taking care of those things. They are important tasks that have to be done. But you're completely detached from me and everyone else who loves you. When was the last time you called your mom?"

"It's been a couple of days." He admitted.

"She misses talking to you but she'll never say it because she doesn't want to upset the tentative relationship you have right now. Did you know she is freaking out because the test results from the study aren't showing significant progress yet?"

"I didn't realize." He had been avoiding his mom because of his guilt, but that wasn't right either. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because it's not my place to." She sighed. "You should be calling your mom and talking to her. Certainly you have to be able to realize that the way you are avoiding things is not healthy. You can't be that dense to not see how far apart we are from each other right now."

"There is a slight distance between us." He acknowledged.

"There's more than a slight distance! It feels like a canyon is forming between us and it feels like you don't even care." She argued. "I just wish you would let me in on what you're going through."

"I can't." He shook his head.

"Then I don't know how to keep doing this." She cried out. "I can't keep trying to push you to tell me what's going on and having you shut me down every damn time. I just can't! I know something major is going on with you and it absolutely kills me that you won't just tell me so that I can help you with it! I see what it is doing to you. I see the toll it's taking on you and I'm worried about you."

"I can't tell you Rebecca!" He yelled back.

"You mean you won't." She shook her head.

"No. I won't." He told her honestly. "I've got to work through this myself."

"And what am I supposed to do in the meantime while you work through it?" She scoffed.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "I know this isn't a fair situation and I'm sorry. I just…I have a lot of stuff swirling around inside my head that I need to figure out how to deal with."

"Fine." She shrugged, pushing past him.

He grabbed on to her arm as she passed him. "Rebecca…"

"What, Harvey?" She sighed.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"Sometimes sorry isn't enough if nothing changes after you say it." She told him, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. "Harvey…I love you more than you could ever know and I'll listen to anything you want to talk about any time…day or night—if you ever decide to let me in. But I can't keep feeling like I'm hitting my head up against a brick wall. I know you are in pain and I know you'd feel better if you share what you're going through. But you don't realize it and I can't do anything about that. So I'm going to give you some space. I'm going to go back to the city tomorrow morning."

"You're leaving me?"

"I'm not leaving you. I'm leaving Boston. There is a difference." She nodded her head. "I spent some good quality time with the kids today while you were gone and it's not like you really need me here for anything anyway."

He let go of her arm like he had somehow been physically burned by her words and watched as she got out of the rain.

Contrary to her belief, he did need her here.