WARNING: MORE ANGST! This is dedicated to a fellow Homestuck fan. :) DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA

That was totally not my idea to sing the f**king song. Thank goodness the Antonio bastard left. He not only made me mad but so d*mn confused!

"Fratello," Feliciano came to me at bedtime with tears in his eyes. "Did you sing that...were you trying to express something to Nonno?"

I stopped flossing my teeth.

Why the heck is he so smart?!

"Maybe..." That wasn't exactly a lie, but in my heart I knew I was also reprimanding Antonio(?).

"But why, fratello?!" Sheesh, the song must've hit him a little too close to home.

I threw my dental floss in a near by wastebasket and picked up my toothbrush. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes!"

"The jerk bastard makes my f**king life so hard! And he doesn't seem to notice!"

"Don't call grandpa a bastard, fratello!"

"I don't care what you say! Just go away and leave me in peace!"

Feliciano pouted but left without a struggle. Why is he so...alert at times when he's a d*mb*ss at others? Now I had to think. Did I sing it for grandpa or for Antonio?

Well, the parts about fighting all the time reflected over our family relationship. But the rest...that was all for Antonio. F**k, why?! I couldn't be falling I'm love with a guy nine or more years older than me! I just met him and he's Feliciano's teacher for goodness sake! And how the heck could he ever like me back? He could probably get any girl he ever wanted! He's handsome and funny...

I spit my toothpaste all over the mirror in my anger. F**k! Why did this always happen to me?! I was never into girls but when I do fall in love it's with a f**king old man! I grabbed a washcloth and dosed the mirror in water.

When I looked back at the mirror, what I saw terrified me.

Was that me in it's reflection?Sh*t I was as ugly as heck, with that disgustingly stringy auburn hair, those amber eyes, the olive skin. If I was ever to find a boyfriend, I would never snag him with my looks. Maybe my personality would be enough...But what was to like about it?! Except if the guy likes a "bad*ss" boyfriend that has an insecure heart and slices up his arms all the time. Antonio didn't need someone he had to take care of. I'd like to think that I could take care of myself, but I can't.

That's the harsh truth.

SHIT, That did it for me.

I grabbed the medical tape from the bathroom cupboard.(I would need it in a few minutes.) And then, after walking slowly to my room, I found the knife under the mattress. "Why," I whispered through tears, "why does it always turn out like this?" I held the knife tightly, so tightly my fingers turned white.

Time seemed to slow as I grazed my skin the blade ...deep...deeper...deep...

"What the hell are you doing, fratello?" I didn't notice that Feliciano had entered, and boy, he looked furious.

"None of your business." I said bitterly.

"I knew you were up to something!" He shrieked and tried to grab the knife but I easily held it away from him. "F**k you, fratello! What are you thinking? Are you mad just because your confused on whether you like Antonio or not?!"

I was shocked. I had never seen Feliciano act this way. My cheeks burned. "I never said I liked him!"

"It's obvious! Your eyes! Look in a mirror! Your eyes held a passion around him! A passion too strong to be fake!"

Was it really that obvious that even the little bastard could tell? "That doesn't mean I like Anton..."

"Stop it, Lovino," Feliciano begged. "I don't want to lose family to this."

I avoided his eyes, trying to punish him for...for what? Being a ditz?

"Fratello, you're a lovely, attractive boy. You don't have to worry about it."

How the heck did that end up in the conversation? "I refuse to believe that from you." I reasoned, "You're my brother, not..."

"You're right, I'm not Antonio."

"SHUT UP!" Why was he embarrassing me like this?

"The point is, don't hurt yourself!" Feliciano pleaded.

"Your not my mother." I retorted.

"I'm not your mother, but I can still tell anyone I want to!"

I froze. Oh god, help me. "Please don't tell Nonno..." The last thing I needed was Feliciano telling on me.

"I will if I want to!" With that, he left.

I was dead.

"F**k you." I whispered as I threw the knife at the window. I crawled into bed, forgetting to wrap my arm. I looked up at the skylight on my ceiling.

When I was younger, I saw a special star that I could always see from my bed. Before I figured out it was a planet, not a star, I had named it "Alessandro" after an old pet duck of mine. I smiled, just thinking about little "Alessandro" up in the sky made me happy.

"Goodnight, Alessandro." I said softly. Then I fell asleep.

Okay...WELCOME THE ANGST XD I'M SORRY GUYS. The anime duo will find out soon enough, don't worry! :)

The star thing...Don't ask me what that's about, i came up with the idea long ago. XD DX

Again, I have no experience personally with cutting, just my friends

I'd like to thank all my reviewers, especially ZodiacWriter :) Please keep it up, 'cause it makes me very happy :)