Skyfall
Chapter Fifty-Two
"Donna, have you seen Harvey?" Rebecca asked, glancing into his office and seeing it was empty. "I wanted to run something by him on the Mikelson merger."
"Oh. Harvey left about ten minutes ago for a meeting with Scottie about the case they are on." Donna told her. "He should be back in about an hour or so."
"Scottie?" She asked.
Donna laughed. "Yeah."
"Scottie's in town?"
"Yeah." Donna laughed again. "You know that she is town because of the case against Brown Trucking."
"Actually I didn't know that." She shook her head.
"Are you sure Harvey didn't tell you about her?"
"No. He certainly didn't say anything about it to me. I knew there was a case against Brown Trucking brought on by an out of state firm. I had no clue it was Scottie's firm or that she was handling it." She shook her head slowly. "How long has she been in town?"
"Almost a week." Donna answered.
She scoffed. "So Harvey's ex-girlfriend has been here for a week and he didn't think to mention that?"
"I guess not."
""Do you think…he would…with…"
"No." Donna shook her head. "Whatever Harvey possibly felt for her in the past doesn't compare to what he feels for you. And deep down you know that. So don't let your mind go down that path."
"It's too late for that." She sighed. "I've already gone down that rabbit hole."
"Harvey loves you." Donna pointed out. "You know that."
"He may love me." She argued. "But with everything that has happened lately, we haven't been on the same page and it scares me. No matter what I do, I can't reach him anymore. He's become so distant and I don't know how to fix it because he won't talk to me about it."
"It hasn't gotten any better?"
"No." She shook her head. "It's only getting worse."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"He's sleeping in a separate bedroom." She said softly.
"Really? How long has that been going on?"
She nodded. "Three weeks, ever since we moved into the new house. It's getting bad, Donna. Ethan even asked me if we were getting divorced."
"Oh geez…I had no idea things were getting to that point."
"I didn't want to bother you with it." She shrugged.
"It wouldn't have been a bother." Donna told her. "But look, you have nothing to worry about because you know Harvey loves you."
"I don't know anything anymore except that this whole situation sucks and I feel like I'm losing him." She explained. "Especially since now that Scottie is hanging around him."
"You know that Harvey would never cheat on you. He has a moral code that prevents him from doing that."
"I know." She nodded. "But can you honestly say that Scottie has the same moral code? Can you look me in the eyes and tell me that Scottie hasn't cheated on or cheated with someone?" She looked at Donna's face and it told her everything she needed to know. "That's what I thought."
"You don't need to worry about Scottie. Nothing will happen between them. Harvey will make sure of that."
"Sure." She sighed.
"And it's going to get better." Donna repeated herself. "Whatever Harvey's going through…he will eventually work through it and you two will get back on the right track again."
"I wish I could believe that." She sighed. "But right now I just don't have the faith."
"Do you want me to let you know when Harvey gets back?" She asked.
"No." She shook her head and then looked at her watch. "I think I'm going to go home for the day."
"It's only 3." Donna chuckled.
"Don't worry. I'll work on the merger from home." She chuckled.
"That wasn't what I meant."
"I know." She nodded. "I just need to get out of here."
"You mean, away from Harvey so that when he comes back you don't have to see him?"
"Maybe." She nodded sheepishly.
"You know, avoiding him won't solve your problems." Donna pointed out.
"I know." She nodded. "But trying to talk to him isn't solving any problems either."
Harvey strolled right past Donna's desk and into his office. As he sat down, he saw her close the door and stand in front of his desk. "What is it Donna?"
"So how was your meeting with Scottie?"
"I let her know that her crusade against Brown Trucking is over. I've forced her hand and she will have no recourse other than to get her client to drop the suit." He smiled.
"So she will be gone soon?"
"Yes, as long as nothing else happens with the case. It may take a day or two to get the paperwork finalized, but yeah." He nodded, looking at her closely. "Why?"
"Oh, no real reason." Donna shrugged. "It's just that I found out today that you neglected to tell Rebecca that Scottie is in town."
"I didn't think she was worth mentioning." He replied, opening up his laptop and pretending to type in an attempt to get Donna to leave.
"Not worth mentioning?" Donna repeated, laughing at him. "You two had this on-again, off-again thing going for years and now the woman is back working with you on a case. That's somehow not worth mentioning to your own wife?"
"It was just a hook-up though that happened before I ever met Rebecca." He defended himself. "It wasn't a relationship."
"You had a relationship with her in college though." Donna pointed out.
"That was different." He scoffed.
"As soon as Scottie came into town you should have told Rebecca about her. But you didn't. Maybe you should ask yourself why you didn't."
He scoffed. "Are you implying that I have feelings for Scottie?"
"I don't know anymore!" She shrugged. "You're all over the place lately, Harvey. I can't get a reading on you anymore."
"I don't have feelings for Scottie, other than friendship." He assured Donna.
"Ok…But I shouldn't have had to be the one to tell Rebecca about her."
"Probably not, but we aren't on the best terms right now. I didn't want to somehow make things worse, though it's not like they could get any worse."
"She told me about you sleeping in a separate room." Donna stated. "And apparently Ethan thinks you two are going to get a divorce."
"What?" That was news to him.
"He was asking Rebecca about it." Donna explained.
He closed the laptop, knowing that pretending to work wasn't going to get Donna to leave. "What do you want from me, Donna?"
"Rebecca went home early because she was trying to avoid you. I want you to go home and talk to your wife." Donna put her hands on her hips. "And I want you to stop acting like the old Harvey Specter because you are better than that."
"I don't know what you are talking about." He scoffed.
"I'm Donna. You think just because I haven't said anything that I haven't noticed the things happening around here?"
"What things?"
"You and Rebecca used to casually touch each other's hands while walking in together in the morning when you thought no one was looking. But now one of you walks ahead of the other and it's usually you that is leaving her behind. You don't go into each other's offices during the day anymore unless you have a specific reason for it and even then the visits are extremely brief. But it used to be that you would go into each other's offices at least five times a day just to see each other. You'd bring your work into the other one's office just so you could be around each other more. You don't leave for the day at the same time anymore because you are staying much later than you need to in an attempt to avoid going home and neither one of you is happy."
"I appreciate you doing your whole Donna routine on me." He sighed. "But what does it all mean?"
"I know you aren't happy. I know that Marcus' death has hit you hard and you aren't grieving in a healthy way. But…"
"Marcus is dead, Donna!" He pointed out. "We are raising his kids now. Everything is going wrong in my life except work. Forgive me for wanting to focus on the aspect of my life that is working."
"Not everything is wrong." Donna pointed out. "You have Rebecca, you have the kids, you have a baby on the way, you have your mother back in your life and you have friends who would walk through fire for you.
"Donna…" He sighed. "You don't know what you're talking about in this case."
"You're grieving." She sighed. "Anyone who knows you can see that. But you aren't working through it and that's the concerning part."
"What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to just flip a switch and be happy about all of the crap that's happened?"
"No." She shook her head. "No one is asking you to be happy about it. But you should be leaning on Rebecca right now, not pulling away from her."
"You don't know what you are talking about." He sighed.
"Fine." She sighed. "Push Rebecca away. Hell, push everyone who cares about you away if you want. But you're not just hurting yourself when you do it. You're hurting everyone who loves you. But you are hurting Rebecca the most and it needs to stop."
He watched Donna leave his office and had to admit she had a point. Maybe he should have told Rebecca about Scottie being in town. But he wasn't sure how to. To be honest, he wasn't sure how to talk to her at all anymore. Things between them just seemed to be getting worse and worse.
He released a deep sigh and got up from his desk. He needed to go home, just like Donna said. But he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of telling her she was right.
"Go get washed up for dinner." Rebecca told Ethan and Olivia. She watched them run off to the nearest bathroom and then went back to getting everything onto the table.
"Do you want any help?" Lily asked, appearing in the kitchen.
"If you want to take the potatoes out that would be great. I can get everything else." She told her.
"Ok."
She got the chicken and took it out to the table. Then she came back into the kitchen for the salad. As she left the kitchen she saw Harvey standing next to the table.
"Uncle Harvey!" Oliva came running and hugged him.
"Hey." He smiled, hugging his niece.
"You're really here for dinner?" She asked.
"Yeah." He nodded.
"Can you also put me to bed tonight and read me a story?" Olivia asked.
"Of course I can." He replied.
Rebecca sighed. Harvey had missed dinner every weeknight and Saturdays for the past two weeks. She figured he had talked to Donna and that was why he suddenly made an appearance at home before it was dark. She put the salad on the table, realizing she needed to get an extra place setting for Harvey since she wasn't expecting him. "Olivia, you need to sit down. We are ready to eat."
"Ok Aunt Becca!" She said, bouncing over to her seat.
She went into the kitchen to get an extra plate and some silverware. When she turned around she saw Harvey standing a few feet away from her. "Oh. You scared me."
"Sorry. I didn't mean to." He said softly.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"I came to see if you needed any help."
"No." She shook her head. "I mean here for dinner. Usually you get home late, after the kids are in bed. Why choose now all of a sudden to come home for dinner?"
"Why all the questioning? I just felt like coming home for dinner." He sighed. "Is that a problem for you? Would you rather I go back to the office?"
"You can do whatever you want, Harvey. God knows you will anyway." She shoved the plate and silverware into his hands before going around him so she could go back to the table.
Later that evening, Rebecca sat on the roof. There were several stars in the sky and she looked up at them. She envied their ability to always shine so brightly, no matter what. She didn't have that ability. The past few months had taken a lot of her shine away from her.
She didn't know what to do about her relationship with Harvey anymore. He was pulling away from her, and as much as she wanted to put her foot down and stop him…she didn't have the energy anymore.
It hurt that he didn't tell her about Scottie being in town. Deep down she knew that he wouldn't cheat on her. Even though he was going through a lot turmoil, she knew that he wouldn't abandon his moral code for Scottie. The fleeting moments of jealousy she had were blamed on pregnancy hormones.
The real reason it hurt was it showed just how out of touch she was with him. A couple of months ago, he would have told her immediately about Scottie being in town. There would have been clear communication about it. But now, she realized she truly had no clue what was going on in his life. And it both saddened and scared her.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
She didn't turn to look at him. "It's a free country."
He sat down next to her.
"So how long did Donna have to berate you until you came home for dinner?" She asked.
"She didn't necessarily berate me." He defended himself. "She just made some valid points."
"She's good at that." She sighed, moving away from him. She sat her tea on the table next to her chair and then walked over to the balcony railing, leaning against it.
"So I probably should have told you about Scottie." He said after a few minutes of silence.
"Yeah, but it's fine." She shrugged.
"No, it obviously isn't." He argued. "You're mad about it."
"Yeah. But I don't really want to fight tonight." She said, turning around to look at him.
"I don't want to either, but we need to get this worked out."
"What's to work out?" She asked. "You are systematically shutting me out of your life and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I'm tired of trying and feeling like I'm running into a brick wall at 50 mph. Trying to get you to open up to me about anything is exhausting and I'm tired of it. I'm sorry. But I am. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed."
She tried to walk past him but stopped when he jumped up and stood in her way. "Harvey, please move."
"You're not the only one who is getting tired of this." He said softly, grabbing both of her hands in his and holding on.
"Something has to change. We can't go on like this." She whispered, looking at their joined hands and then back up at his face. This was the first real sign of intimacy they had shared in weeks. It both made her happy and depressed her at the same time.
"I know that." He whispered back. "Donna said something to me that got me thinking. She said she wanted me to stop acting like the old Harvey. I don't want to go back to being the old Harvey."
"I don't want that either, but I have to say she is right. You are acting like the old Harvey." She told him.
"I know." He nodded.
"You're the only one who has the power to stop it." She reminded him, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "Goodnight."