DISCLAIMER: HETALIA BELONGS TO HIMARUYA-SAMA AND L'ESSENZIALE BELONGS TO MARCO MENGONI
I woke up the next morning feeling very tired and uncomfortable.
"Fratello! Fratello! Can you hear me?!"
That was Feli's voice...
I blinked. Yep, that face in front of me was definitely Feli's. "What the heck?! Of course I can, d*mmit!"
I tried to sit up but I was pushed back down by Feliciano.
"Don't get up fratello, you're very ill. I hope you'll be well enough to go on the field trip!" Then he ranted on about how amazing the cr*ppy art museum was.
Ignoring Feliciano, I sat up, praying that I wasn't still at the park. Instead, I found that I was in my own bed at home...? How?
"Wait, hold it!" I demanded, confused. "How did I get here?!"
" Lizzy carried you home last nigh." He frowned. "She said you were burning up so we stripped you down to your underpants and put and ice pack on your forehead. Don't worry, we didn't see too much."
I felt a bit bad about falling asleep before I got home, but thing that really annoyed was Feli's blunt language about...ahem...
"Just leave me alone..." I growled, shoving the covers over my head.
"But fratello, I...!"
"Now!" I shouted.
"O-okay..." Feliciano pouted, but left my room without a huge fight.
Now alone, I sat up and looked at myself in the mirror on the opposite wall. Nothing had changed on the outside, unfortunately. My face still held the same scowl and those scars on my arms still hadn't disappeared, but my heart had changed. I now knew, without any doubt, that I was desperately in love with that Homeroom teacher Antonio. But I was sure Antonio would never love me back. I had been a sick bastard to him when he visited, so why should he care?
What the hell was happening to me?!
"Mentre il mondo cade e pezzi,
Io compongo nuovi spazi, E desideri che,
Appartengono anche a te,
Che da sempre sei per me,
L'essenziale." I sang quietly to myself. Why, that described my feelings perfectly!
Antonio did say I have a beautiful voice...
Should I believe him?
He could've been lying to flatter me into being nicer...
But I did enjoy singing. Maybe I could enter the school talent show coming up next April...I doubt anyone would vote for me...would they? In my eyes I sucked!
I started to sob piteously. I wished Antonio was right next to me to comfort me...Fuck! Why did I act like this when thinking about a guy I hardly knew?
Love at first sight?
No, it couldn't be. I didn't deserve to be thinking about him. Me, the stupid, coward, selfish me.
But I still loved him...
"Dammit!" I grabbed my trusty knife from the lamp stand and shoved it into my leg. "F**k," I whimpered. This was beneath me.
Was it beneath me? If so, why was I doing this?!
So many questions! Antonio most likely would think I was a disgusting suicidal idiot that was under an fucking addiction.
I hated myself so much.