Great...I am officially obsessed with the song I hated a day ago. DX You're allowed to kill me if I put this in more that one fanfic...Which I probably will. Great, I'm dead. It's a good idea to listen to this song while you're reading.
This fanfic is dedicated to Scotia-San. :) Do you know this song?
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT AND DO NOT WANT TO OWN DISNEY XD HETALIA WOULD BE NICE THOUGH XD Kidding.
I'm not one of those people that immediately recovers from their cold - No way. I never was, and I never fucking will be. I'm cursed with a weak body since...actually, just forget there's a paragraph on this...I don't want to get into details yet - and I probably never will.
ANYWAYS...It was after school on a Monday when I finally figured out a Disney song that strung a chord in my heart...I guess, though I'd never admit it to anyone. Kiku and Lizzy, ignoring the fact that I still had a high fever, decided to check how I was doing and ended up staying the night...Great...
And I was supposed to be getting better?
###
A half an hour into studying, Lizzy sighed and slammed my literature textbook into the floor. "This is boring! Can we take a break?!"
"Elizabeta-Kun..." Kiku looked as if he were going into a lecture, maybe he could teach high school when he graduated college. "He is expected to finish his homework and turn it in by tomorrow - if he's even better by then."
Lizzy ignored him. "Lovi..Can we watch a movie..." Lizzy begged me, trying her best to influence me with her damn puppy eyes.
I groaned, my head already hurting from the large pile of homework that was still stacked on my desk. "Ask Nonno."
"Okay!" Lizzy shouted, immediately dashing out of the room.
Please say no, please say no, I begged under my breath. I needed to get to my homework...I...I needed to sort out my feelings for Antonio! I didn't have time for...WAIT WHAT?!
He wasn't supposed to be on my mind right now. No way! I was too busy for love. I'd probably end up keeping myself sick forever if these thoughts kept up. After that "encouraging" phone call with a very pissed Tino, none of the thoughts about Antonio seemed to be getting better. His face seemed to pop up more into my mind than my own reflection...which might actually be a good thing. I am pretty ugly.
But other than that...Antonio was an idiot!
Why did I love him! I must have terrible judgment! Did I even love him?! This must be the replay of the Story of the Cliche Mix-Up that ends up in Love...if there's even something called that. I couldn't be in love. I never had been. This couldn't be love...
"Lovino-kun?" Kiku asked. I had almost forgot about him. "Are you okay?"
Now I realize that I had been sitting there with sweat dripping down my forehead. "I'm fine."
Kiku nodded and continued to fiddle with the heart-covered pen he'd been holding.
Now I'm definitely hallucinating...
Someone kill me now!
###
"WE'RE PUTTING IN THE VIDEO!" Lizzy shrieked from downstairs. "Hurry up, slowpokes!"
"What movie is it?" Kiku asked, already halfway down the stairs. I quietly trudged behind him, not in the mood to have fun.
"Hercules~!" Feli told him while handing him the DVD cover. "I love this movie so much! It's so romantic and adorable! How could anyone not like it?"
I groaned. Feli loved this movie to death. I'd almost memorized it by now...
Ugh...I'd probably be dead tomorrow.
###
The three of us, plus Nonno, watched through all the crazy songs, the "hero training" as Feli calls it, the ridiculous antics of everyone in the video until we got to...this song - the sweet, beautiful, though absolutely annoying melody. Though I knew this song inside and out, it seemed new to me this time as I actually thought about the words. Even though the other people in the room were being as annoying as hell with their own antics, I could still hear the song quite clearly in my head, as if my conscience was forcing it into my train of thought.
If there's a prize for rotten judgment,
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation,
That's ancient history - been there, done that
Then those annoying statue thingys started their backup section...ugh...They weren't helping MY problems at all. They made me remind myself of Antonio, who I barely know...Ugh...You'd think someone like me who was born a bastard child would learn. These feelings were ridiculous...No chance, no way...I'm not in love...What the fuck! Why was this song influencing me so much?
It's too cliche!
I won't say I'm in love!
I facepalmed. This song seemed to mirror what I had been singing earlier. Was there a coincidence for that or was it just fate? Surely Kiku can't read my mind...Hopefully...
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
It's very true. Love is painful...Who wants to fall in love?! This purple girl...what ever her name was - I didn't care enough to learn it- She must've been thinking like me. Maybe it was love for her...maybe not. But I'm not in love...There's no way I was in love...You need to strengthen your grip on reality, Lovino! There's such thing as heart break and "Boyfriend drama", idiota! I didn't want to get involved in that. I didn't want to be hurt more than i was already. My heart was already chopped into pieces. There was no chance, no way...The real me would never be in love...But the real me had been gone since...well...four years ago.
You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling.
Face it like a grownup
When you gonna own up
That you got, got, got it bad
And I suddenly found myself singing along to the recording. Maybe I thought I'd get away from this crush if I did - that I was wishing the crush away. But I put my heart and soul into those lyrics, not caring if everyone else was staring.
No chance, no way
I won't say it no, no
The singing seemed to take all the stress that had been building since the beginning of the new year away. I ignored my dying throat and my raspy voice and just continued to belt the lyrics to the best of my ability. It actually sounded good - to me at least. Maybe everyone else was sobbing in the corner at my suckiness of it.
This scene won't play
I won't say I'm in love
"Is he okay?" Lizzy asked in a hushed tone. Like I wouldn't hear her? Hmph, I heard every word.
"I don't know..."Feli answered her. "He's been acting weird since the day you went to the park."
"He really shouldn't be singing." Kiku yelled at the two of them frantically. "His voice might strain. But I guess Tino was right about...
"SHHH!"
You're way off base!
I won't say it
Get off my case!
I won't say it!
I wished all that agony and feelings away from me. I wasn't in love! I couldn't be!
Number one - Antonio's just a world-class idiot! Even though his handsome face invades my thoughts at least 95% percent of the time, maybe it was just an infatuation - or lust, as Tino said.
The second reason...I'm catholic. Homosexuality is wrong. I couldn't be in love. If it was wrong...God wouldn't have...Okay, Lovino! This is not about religion! Get a grip!
It's okay you're in love...A voice told me. It's perfectly normal to fall in love!
With a guy?! I snapped.
My conscience didn't answer, which probably meant it agreed.
But...
At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love
It had to be love. It couldn't be anything else. It was either lust or love...
But either way...This song made me realize...
I was in love and there was no denying it.
YOU'RE ALLOWED TO KILL ME -holds up hands in surrender-! I KNOW THIS CHAPTER SUCKS SO NO FLAMES PLEASE DX
Hi, it's been a long time :) Missed you guys :)
I've been at my vocal camp since this Monday, and I have a ton of new songs to share with you! This is one of them.
I'm sure you've heard this song before: "I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" from Disney's Hercules. This one girl in my choir camp sang this and she was AMAZING. Before her, I hated this song to death. DX Now I'm a little too obsessed...Great...So I heard this song and I'm like "Hey, I'm using this in my fanfic!" :) So here it is.
Since all the angst for the beginning section is over, now we can get to some proper Hurt/Comfort/Romance with Spamano :)
Love you guys~!
~Emil