Encyclopedia of Concepts and Imagery in Andalite Thought-Speech
Entry: Graduation
«The garden plant outgrows the trellis»
«I correct my elder's shormitor»
Aftran Plisam Pool
Akdor's Worst Nightmare – Direct Message
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Expression of surprise. Artificial beings allowed you access. Fear of last minute change of plans.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
You mean the Chee? They did express displeasure, in their way. They have stayed behind camouflaging holograms at all times, only speaking to me when necessary.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
I must admit that I am surprised that you agreed to this, let alone the Chee.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
A landside conqueror who will bespeak the People? I would not trade for the endless Pool beneath a cloudless sun.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
Luis and Zefirita, I believe we are having automatic translation issues in the chat system.
[Chee] Luis and Zefirita
The system still struggles with Yeerkish. Many of the Yeerks here know English but Akdor's Worst Nightmare does not. The translation provided to English is a literal one. A better translation would be "An Andalite who actually wants to talk to a Yeerk? I wouldn't miss it for the world." I will try to recalibrate the translation software.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Thank you, Luis and Zefirita.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Back when I thought the Animorphs were a group of Andalite bandits, I spent a lot of time wondering what sort of Andalite would ally with Yeerks. That is still true now that I know only one Animorph is an Andalite.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Oh. There is one thing you should know. This conversation will be recorded and archived for everyone in the Pool to read. Not everyone was in favor of the idea of me talking to an Andalite. I thought it might help if they could see what our conversation is really like.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
I consent to the recording. Let what I say be a matter of record. I stand by it.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
I suppose I do not think of myself as an ally to Yeerks. I think of myself as a fighter for a great cause, and it has become more and more apparent over time that there are Yeerks who fight for the same cause. Does this make us allies?
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Not necessarily. But it's a foundation for an allyship.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
What would you say your great cause is?
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
Freedom.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Funny. That's what a lot of Empire Yeerks told me when I asked them what we were fighting for.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
What?
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Did you think they would say "evil"? "Slavery"? "Galactic domination"? No one ever tells their own story that way.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
They said "freedom" because they wanted the freedom of the javeshed.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
The last thing you said was not translated properly.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
I'll rephrase. They wanted the freedom of having a host to move through and explore the world. And they wanted freedom from Andalite control. The latter is something I think all Yeerks, even in the Peace Movement, can understand.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
Andalite control? We only instituted the blockade on your planet after you fled with Prince Seerow's technology and began your conquest of Ssstram.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
The way I heard it from my people was that the blockade began after Akdor and their crew fled with Seerow's technology, before any conquest started.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
But even if your version is true, my point still stands. What right did your people have to land on my planet, build military bases, and ban any interchange of technology with us?
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
An anonymous benefactor connected the Aftran Plisam Pool to the human internet six rane ago. Those of us who speak human languages have an easier time with it than I do, but I have tried it with some help. The humans have words for what the Andalites did to Yeerks, before Seerow's Kindness, before conquest and blockade.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Occupation. Imperialism. Violation of sovereignty. You did it to us and then you did it to the Hork-Bajir. Perhaps you will do it to the humans next. Who knows who you may have done it to before us.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
You are right.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
What?
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
You are right. When the Ralek River came, and the Andalite who made the deadly virus told me it was necessary because Andalites could use it to end all evil, all war – I realized what it is that my people believe. That we are the only ones who can bring peace and order to the galaxy, because we are advanced and enlightened.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
But if there is anything I have learned from my time on Earth, from learning the ways of humans and Hork-Bajir, it is that no one can win peace alone.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
End a war alone, perhaps. But bring peace? Never.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
You have learned something on Earth, haven't you?
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Was it you who brought us the human internet? Come to think of it, it would be well within an Andalite's capabilities.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
I have no comment on the matter.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
Except to say that you would perhaps learn even more from human television if you had the sight and hearing to understand it.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Some of the children have been attempting to re-enact scenes from human television in Yeerkish song and dance based on textual summaries.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
They achieved the most success with a story about a cruel person who taunts their companion, and the victim of the taunt realizes the perfect reply to the bully, but too late. As the children are all too often cruel to each other, they could all relate to the story.
Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill
I believe I have seen the episode in question. Unfortunately I can never understand or enjoy human comedy television, no matter how often the humor is explained to me.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
Was it a comedy? The children played it as a drama about the cruelty of people to their fellows.
Akdor's Worst Nightmare
I suppose I will have to inform them that Seinfeld is meant to be humorous.
Ax
When I arrived at the hiding place of the Ralek River, the crew was clearly in the private meditation phase of a funeral rite. Arbat's funeral rite. It could be no other.
In the absence of Arbat's Guide Tree, a small holographic projector with its image was set among the Earth trees, the Andalites scattered around it, each facing in a different direction. Estrid was in traditional meditation pose, arms spread, tail swept back and out, main eyes toward the canopy. Gonrod had his tail wrapped all the way around a young tree and leaned his upper body against it like a lover, perhaps in some Wurilit practice I didn't understand. Aloth's tail moved restlessly and he stared blankly into space, as if he were waiting in line for a tram.
I landed on the other side of the Ralek River and demorphed there, not wanting to interrupt. It only made sense that I was not invited to Arbat's funeral, given that I abhorred him and one of my allies had killed him. Still, it felt strange, as if I were not a true Andalite in their eyes. Like Mertil.
Aloth came around to the main entrance of the Ralek River first. He eyed me like a specimen under a microscope. «Why are you here? Will you mind us like wayward children?»
«Mostly Estrid,» I said. «Do you disagree that that is necessary?»
«No,» Aloth admitted. «The mad female will kill us all by accident one day if she is not curbed.»
«I am also here to discuss our short-term future,» I said. «It will take time for Estrid to develop the new virus. In the meantime, the Yeerks will advance their assaults on many fronts. We must be prepared to mount holding actions.»
«Here's something to consider for our short-term future,» Aloth said. «What will we do when the rest of the Andalite fleet arrives? It is inevitable that they will. And whatever you may believe, we may all be judged as war criminals and traitors, and thrown into some prison while the fleet does whatever they see fit with this planet.»
I felt my tail sag lower despite myself. Aloth was right. The arrival of the Andalite fleet would be no salvation, but another terrible threat. And I had no plan for how to cope with that threat, though I ought to have been the one prepared for the contingency, of all the Guardians of the Galaxy.
Aloth must have read my thoughts in my posture, because he said, «Develop a plan, Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. I, for one, have every intention to survive this war, however it may end.» And he boarded the Ralek River.
Gonrod came next. He had dirt and bits of bark caught in his pattern-shaved fur, and showed some self-consciousness of it, curling his tail to the side to cover himself. «Aximili. You told me that the Yeerks have a method for detecting this ship despite its cloaking technology.»
«Yes. They have discovered that the Hork-Bajir have an ability to – »
«Tell me later, if you must,» Gonrod snapped, showing some of the overbearing imperiousness he'd had when we first met. «I care about what this means for the ship and its crew. I must move the ship regularly to evade detection. What I need to know from you is how often, and to where.»
I startled. Another pressing issue that had evaded me. I was too preoccupied, caught up in vast questions about Andalites and Yeerks and the ethics of war instead of thinking like a soldier. «We have one of your communicators. I can keep you informed about Gold Band activity. As to secure locations – my shorm Tobias knows this forest better than anyone. I will ask him to come speak with you.»
«Your shorm Tobias,» Gonrod said slowly. «The nothlit. His mother told me some story about how he was sired by your brother in human morph.»
«It is true.» I did not like Gonrod's phrasing, but it could hardly be said that Elfangor played the role of a father in Tobias's life.
«If it is true, it is not an outcome of the morphing technology I had ever considered. Nor any other Andalite, I think. It is troubling.»
«Elfangor loved Loren,» I said, the long fur along my spine bristling upward. «They had shest orf. A strong foundation for a family. They built on it, as is anyone's right.»
«Are you so foolish to think every Andalite – or I suppose human – will have shest orf with individuals of other species they interbreed with? That they will not spawn offspring without understanding of their needs or care?»
Gonrod was right. It was a disturbing thought. I thought perhaps the value of children born to two worlds outweighed the risk, though I would not say as much to Gonrod. Gonrod flicked a hindhoof against the ground dismissively and boarded the ship.
Estrid came last, carrying the holographic projector. She watched me with pure loathing. I waited for her to say something, and when she did not, I began, «What is your projected timeline for developing the new virus?»
«Is that what you have to say to me? Asking me when I'll get to work, when I've just composted my scientific mentor?» I must have flinched visibly, because she went on, «Yes, he is in the composting unit in the medbay. It would not be right to bury him before a tree on this planet when there is a chance he could be sent home to fertilize his Guide Tree. I put him there myself. My fur matted with his dried blood and the microorganisms from the composter.»
If she thought she could perturb me with descriptions of gore and filth, she could not have been more mistaken. I had seen things even the likes of Estrid could never imagine. «I am not sorry he is dead. He tried to commit genocide by biological weapon. He meant for you and Gonrod and Aloth to die in the act. He tried to kill one of the leaders of the resistance on Earth. He was dishonorable to the last.»
«And you are so very honorable, asking me to adapt the virus to your own ends,» Estrid sneered. «As to your question – it depends. How safe do you want your weapon to be? How rigorously quality-tested? How many test subjects do you have available? I can rush the job, to be sure, but you may not like the results. The longer you give me to work, the safer it will be for your precious Yeerks.»
A war of attrition, with every day we bought with sweat and blood another day for Estrid to do her work. If she could be trusted to do it. It was a bleak vision of this next phase of the war. But we would have to accept it as the price of victory.
«We will buy you the time you need,» I said, hoping I told the truth. She gave me one last glare and boarded the Ralek River.
I nearly morphed right then to return to Kref Magh, but then the closed-off feeling of stepping into a soundproofed room surrounded me, and Lourdes appeared within a hologram sealed around us. «Lourdes,» I said, startled. «Have you been listening?»
"To Estrid, yes," Lourdes said, "since she is my given responsibility. I should tell you, I suspect she might have collected samples from Arbat, though I can't prove it. I'll keep an eye out."
«Samples?» I said, now truly alarmed.
"He attacked Toby. He had some of her blood on his tail blade. I should have thought of it before, but I was on a break while Estrid was taking care of the body, and it only occurred to me when I came back to the funeral and heard about what she did. I think she probably took a sample of Toby's blood, but I'm not sure what might have happened to it. I think I should probably show myself to her, so I can intervene directly if I see her working with Hork-Bajir DNA."
«Show yourself to her? In what form? Surely you cannot mean to reveal the existence of the Chee to her.»
"Of course not! Can you imagine what she'd do? No, I was hoping you could help me with that, actually. If I'm going to show myself, it might as well be in a form Andalites find very intimidating, but I'm not sure what that would be, exactly. Any thoughts?"
I considered the monsters from children's tales and said, «Andalites once had a major natural predator. It was the leading cause of death for us, besides disease. I will do my best to provide you with an image.»
"Oh, excellent, that'll be a great jumping-off point. You know, you should get some other guards on this ship soon. Like I said, I do take breaks. Just because I don't have to sleep doesn't mean I can be sitting around watching Estrid's science experiments all day every day."
«Why not?» I said, baffled. «You are an android. Surely you do not suffer from a limited attention span.»
"All right, I could," Lourdes allowed. "But I need a way to get off this planet safely once this solar system isn't an active battlefield. That takes some planning. Arrangements."
«What kind of arrangements?»
"Jumpy, aren't you? I guess that comes with the territory. Fine. I have some spare parts I stripped from a passing Skrit Na ship a couple decades back. Nothing essential, the ship was fine, just some stuff I thought could be useful. I'm trying to rig it into a basic cloaking device for whatever ship I end up riding out of here when the war is over."
I still did not like this answer, but Lourdes had no incentive to betray us that I could imagine. So I said, «I am certain Toby will mobilize guards for the Ralek River the moment I tell her about your suspicions. There is little she would hate more than the thought of Estrid having access to her DNA.»
"Estrid may not be the only thing I'll be watching out for," Lourdes said. "I've been spying on these three for a while, and none of them trust you. If it wasn't for that Yeerk fleet up in orbit, and the threat of you telling the Andalite leadership about their little mission, they'd be long gone already."
«I understand that,» I said uneasily. «Thank you, Lourdes.»
Lourdes modified the hologram to cover only herself, surrounding me in the sounds of the forest again, alone and uncertain. All we had left was a race against time, a struggle to stay alive, and a weapon being custom-made for us by a monster.
Marco
I'd been spending all of my overflowing free time as a high school dropout child soldier refugee racking my brains about how to keep Dad and Nora busy in the valley, and they both went and found stuff to do all on their own.
I found out what Nora was doing totally by accident. I was flying a patrol looking out for Gold Bands, and when I got back to the valley, I saw her in the meadow surrounded by Hork-Bajir children, and one adult looking on from a tree.
"Okay, Franaj," Nora said, turning to one little kid. Euclid yipped and wagged his stupid little poodle tail. "Look. You have seven pieces of bark, and Sheth has three pieces of bark. How many pieces of bark do you have to give Sheth to share fairly?"
"Franaj not know," said the kid in a shrill little raspy voice.
"That's okay, we'll figure it out together. Is it fair now?"
"No!" said Sheth. "Franaj have more bark!"
"Franaj, give Sheth one piece."
"Thank you, Franaj."
"Do we think it's fair now?"
"No!" chorused the children. "Franaj have more!"
"Then I think you should give Sheth another piece."
"Here, Sheth."
"Good! It's so nice to see children share," Nora said, actually smiling from ear to ear. Euclid's tongue lolled out of his mouth in a doggy grin. "What do we think? Is it fair now?"
"YES!"
"Sheth, how many pieces of bark did Franaj give you? Let's count."
Oh my God, she's teaching math to aliens, Diamanta said. She can't go home and she's living in a yurt in the woods and she still found a way to be a math teacher.
Ugh, that means she actually likes it, I thought. And here I was convinced it was because she was the world's most boring sadist.
I didn't find out how Dad was keeping busy until he and Ax, of all the comedy duo acts, came up to me and Jake drinking coffee by the fire pit, while I was trying to find a way to ask him if he wanted to sneak off somewhere to make out. «Prince Jake,» Ax said. «Peter and I have established a secure communication channel to Eva and Aftran on the Pool ship.»
"How do you know it's secure?" Jake said. Diamanta silthered in figure eights around my legs. She needed to chill out. We were about to talk to Mom. Everything was good.
Dad said, "I checked that it was her by asking where she kept her safety equipment." I laughed. Mom bought safety equipment for her boat, lifejackets and hand-crank flashlights and a solar-powered radio, but she never actually put it on the boat. It stayed in the garage, waiting for Mom to actually put it in the car and bring it to the marina. Dad and I used to think it was so funny she always forgot the safety gear, until suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore. I was impressed Dad could kind of joke about it now.
«When we had verified her identity, we asked her to check it was secure on her end, as we were confident of the encryption on ours. Contact has been re-established. She wishes to speak with us in approximately one of your hours.»
"Wait a second," I said. "How are you even doing this? Is this like the Z-space transponder thingy you built a million years ago?"
«That was thirty of your months ago,» Ax said, still using "your months," probably on purpose to irritate the crap out of me. «In this case it is a modification of a laptop computer, using parts from a communicator from the Ralek River, which I accomplished with help from your father.»
"Keeping up with an Andalite! High five, Dad!" I said, holding up my hand. He gave me a weird look but high-fived me. Mirazai slapped the wall of her tank with a tentacle. Dia kept slithering around in circles in the grass because she's a weirdo with no chill. "Score one for humanity! Peter Chen is our new planetary champion. No Yeerk encryption is gonna stop this guy."
Dad stepped back, bit his lip, and looked at Jake. "Um. Can I be there for the call with Eva? Ax could, uh, maybe use my help with keeping the comms channel open." I felt a little bad for him. It must have been so weird for him to ask Jake for permission to do something, when Jake used to have to ask him permission to drink milk from our fridge.
Merlyse hopped up from the arm of Jake's camp chair to the back, so she didn't have to look up as far to meet Mirazai's eyes. Jake said, "Peter, I know you want to hear Eva's voice. But you might not like what you hear on this call. She has to do some really scary stuff to survive up there on the Pool ship. She might talk about a choice she had to make that is so completely screwed up you'll have no idea how she can live with it. Are you ready for that?"
Dad pulled on his straps, hiking Mirazai's tank up his back. His mouth flattened into a line. "Eva is suffering out there. She's been suffering for years without me knowing. It's time I knew. I owe her that."
"Okay," Jake said. "This time, you can be there. But don't go telling people what you hear. We keep secrets for a reason."
Dad nodded. He set Mirazai's tank down with a groan and folded onto a log bench. "Are there any snacks in the kitchen?"
"Apples," I said. "We got like ten pounds of 'em at the Costco. There's peanut butter and bread Jean made this morning."
Dad rubbed his face with the heels of his hands. "God, I already miss the 7-Eleven. You didn't get any Cheetos at the Costco, did you?"
"Nope. Just cheap healthy food. Loren is an absolute fiend with a shopping list, she can't be stopped."
Dad gave me another weird look. "Fine. You want to come with me?"
To talk about feelings with Dad? Dia thought, circling her way up my body. Nope, dodging that bullet.
"Nah. I'm fine. Catch you later." Dad shrugged, hauled Mirazai on his back and went to the kitchen. He was going to wreck his back living out here, but it's not like he could use the tank's wheels on the uneven ground.
"Hey, Ax," I said. "You ever been on a date?"
Ax's whole body twitched. «I – that is none of your concern. Why would you ask such a thing?»
"According to Mertil, Andalite dating is really weird. I thought maybe you could give us the lowdown."
«Why don't you ask Mertil, then?» Ax snapped, and trotted off in a huff.
"Touchy," I said. "He's definitely never been on a date."
Jake folded his arms. "Marco, what's gotten into you? You're about to call your mom and you want to ask Ax for dating advice?"
Diamanta slid from my shoulder and reared up to drape herself along the back of Jake's camp chair. She whispered to Merlyse, "I don't need dating advice. I've got game, baby. I'm already making it with two hotties."
Jake flushed brick red, but Merlyse whispered back, "If this is some kind of scheme to get us to go make out in the woods, I've got news for you, dude: I am not a shiny toy you use to distract yourself whenever you get… whatever this weird horny sadness is. And before you try it, neither is Cassie."
"Isn't that what we did last night?" Dia said.
"Well, yeah," Merlyse whispered. "But at least we were up front about it. No one was pretending we weren't sad."
"Fine," Dia hissed. "I'm horny and sad. Can we sneak off and make out so I don't have to spend an hour thinking about it?"
"Fine," Merlyse growled, and Jake grabbed me by my elbow and marched me into the woods.
An hour later, we showed up at the meeting rock. Apparently we weren't as good at hiding as I told Jake we'd be when I'd finger-combed his hair back into place, because Cassie gave us this tired, disapproving look. I tilted my chin up defiantly, and Dia slid over to Quincy to whisper, "You don't get to look at me like that, you totally kissed me when you were crying."
I draped myself next to Dia over the meeting rock near where Dad and Ax had their dinky little laptop set up, plugged into one of our precious generators. Tobias was perched on a crag of the rock, and Loren and Rachel wandered in. "Almost in," Dad said distractedly, typing something quickly.
The laptop beeped. There was a staticky crackle, then Mom said something in Chinese – I only understood "hello." Dad jerked backward as if he'd been stung, took a deep breath, and said something back.
Mom switched to English. "I don't have long, so I'll get to the point. We're making a move on Governor Hernandez, soon. Her husband has been recruited to the Sharing and he'll get to her next. You have to warn her and get her on alert, fast. Tell her she can't trust the infantry regiments, and there might be Controllers higher up in the National Guard. And if you need to get her to trust you, play her this message.
"Hello, Celia. It's Eva López. You know, your terrifying campaign slavedriver who helped you beat that Republican pendejo? Congratulations on making it to the governor's mansion. I wish I could have been there, but I was busy being taken over by aliens. Yes, that's right, I didn't die in a mysterious boating accident, it was all a big fake-out by the alien who took over my brain. Do you hear me, Celia? This is my serious voice. The one I used after you dissed the 'Nam vets at that town hall meeting.
"The Animorphs have probably already shown you by now that there's more in heaven and earth, et cetera et cetera. If you want to survive the shitstorm that's about to come down on you, trust them. Do what they say, even if it sounds completely crazy. And use your judgment. I managed your campaign because I knew you'd be a damn good mayor. Don't let me down.
"Okay, message for Celia over. Just so you know, the California prison system is almost entirely under Yeerk control at this point, and like I said, they've made inroads in the National Guard. Definitely don't trust the police – but you already knew that, Marco. The walls are closing in all around us. I can't stop it. I hope you make that weapon really soon. Have you got anything for me?"
"Start figuring out a way to introduce the virus into the Pool on your ship," Jake said.
"Oh, I know how to do that. That's easy. It's surviving it that'll be the real miracle. Thank you for making this call happen, Peter. I love you, Marco. Goodbye."
A silence fell across the meeting rock. I smiled at Dad, because that conversation was nothing like what either of us wanted to have with her, but it was still so good to hear her voice. Dad smiled back, but Mirazai was pressed flat against the bottom of her tank, bluish like the water like she wanted to disappear.
Finally, Rachel said, "Damn. We really are cut off from the news out here. I didn't know the governor was a woman."
Walter
The graduating students of the morphing training program gathered in a horseshoe around the meeting rock. I stood at one end of the horseshoe, out at the edge like I always am in a group.
I take up a lot of space. Have done since I was sixteen and Emeraude settled as a moose. I've come to love her just the way she is, but I hated it at first. Her form made life harder in a hundred different ways, especially as a black man in the South. White people would always glare at me when they had to step out into the street or a storefront to make room for Emeraude to pass by. How dare I take up space, their eyes said. So I try not to get in people's way. Michelle always liked that about me. Emeraude makes this bubble of space that people don't cross, and Michelle and Dashiell could stand inside that bubble and have a little breathing room in any crowd.
Toby, Cassie, and the other Animorphs stood up on the meeting rock. Toby was holding the blue box. I'd seen it before – they showed us the way it can disassemble into pieces and snap back together. But this time was different.
She made an announcement in the Hork-Bajir language, raising a cheer from her people. I've picked up odds and ends of Hork-Bajir, from hearing the other students talk. She definitely told them they did a good job, but I'm not sure what else. I like the Hork-Bajir a lot. At first I thought of them like a whole new species to study, learn the anatomy and behavior. But Toby especially made it crystal clear that they weren't lost animals that needed rescuing, and I've come to understand that they've got a whole culture of their own that it'd probably take humans a hundred years to figure out the shape of.
When she was done, Jake spoke up. "Thank you for sticking with the training this whole time. I know it wasn't easy. And I'm not going to lie – we really need you right now. We'll lose without you. Believe that. But I want to give you one last chance to back out, because the moment you touch that box…" He waved a hand toward the morphing cube. "You'll never be the same again. It doesn't just give you a new ability. It changes you. I think I've shown you that. So. Are you all ready?"
Toby took a moment to explain what he'd said in her language for anyone who didn't get it. When she finished, the Hork-Bajir roared agreement, and the other humans – Melissa, Jamal, and Julie – joined in. I was sure. If Cassie had joined a new world with the morphing power, then I wanted to live in that world, too, no matter how scary it was. Michelle had put her life and her freedom on the line to help Cassie, and I could do nothing less.
"Okay," Jake said. "The way this works is you get the morphing power from whichever one of us you want. I'm going to guess the Hork-Bajir all want it from Toby." There was a round of agreement. "Toby, you go ahead, then. Anyone who wants to get the morphing power from Toby, line up. When you've got it, come over to me and Tobias, and we'll give you your first morphs."
The horseshoe turned into a line leading up to Toby. I noticed Melissa in that line, and knew why. It was plain to see throughout the training that Melissa was scared stiff of the Animorphs, especially Jake. As each person in line came up to Toby, she looked them in the eye and touched their forehead blades together and said something personal. Then they both touched the cube for a minute, and it was done. They went over to Jake and Tobias. Some of them acquired Tobias, and all of them touched samples of fresh blood in little cups that the Animorphs had gathered from animals around the valley. Then they walked down to the creek to wash the traces of blood off their hands.
When Toby was done with most of the students, she passed the cube to Jake. He looked down at me, Jamal, and Julie. Something about the way Merlyse posed on his shoulder reminded me of a statue, maybe of Zeus and Nephele with a thunderbolt clasped in her beak. "I know what you want," he told me, smiling a little. It was so small compared to smiles I'd seen from him as a younger boy, like it was pressed down flat by responsibility. He turned to Jamal and Julie. "How about you?"
"We want to get it from Loren," Julie said, and Loren gasped a little, clasping her hand to her mouth. Tears gathered in her eyes. "If that's all right."
"Yes," Jaxom said. "Yes, of course."
Jake passed the cube to Cassie, and I stepped up the rock, which brought me high enough to reach back and pet Emeraude on the nose. When I looked back at Cassie, she had a startled look on her face, illuminated from below with the soft blue glow of the cube. "What is it?" I said.
"Did I ever tell you what my battle morph is?" Cassie said.
"I thought you used a lot of morphs," I said, confused.
"I do. But all of us have one morph that we use in battle more than any other. You kind of get used to it, I guess. The instincts. How to fight." Cassie rubbed the back of her neck and looked past me, over my shoulder. "I acquired the moose at the Gardens. So I'd bring you with me, when I was fighting for my life."
My eyes stung, then overflowed. Emeraude made a lowing sound deep in her chest. I touched her arm, then went in for the hug when Quincy flew over to land on Emeraude. "Oh, Cassie. Oh, my girl. I know you had Emeraude's strength with you. She was with you. You did."
"I'm sorry, Dad," Cassie whispered.
"What on earth do you have to be sorry for?"
"You taught me to respect life," Cassie said, "and I – I – " She shook against my chest.
I knew what she was talking about. Her plan. The virus. I didn't like it, but it was clear as anything that she didn't like it either. "Remember Mom's story about the men who tried to take the farm away from her mama?" Cassie nodded, but I went on anyway. "They gathered all their friends around town and kept watch on the farm. They set up pit traps, and when those men came in the night to burn the barn down, your grandma and her friends chased them off with pitchforks." I didn't know if the story was true – no one ever really knows, with family tales – but I always thought it was an important one for my daughter to hear. "The Yeerks came to our farm, Cassie. They figure it's theirs and we have no right to it. We stand our ground and we keep 'em out of our house."
Cassie pulled back and held out the cube. Tears shone on her cheeks. "All right, Dad. It's your turn. You know what to do."
I reached out and focused on the blue box. I felt a tingle in my hand that made me laugh out loud. Emeraude pressed her head against the small of my back, holding me up, taking it in. Cassie laughed too. "Yeah. I felt the same way."
When I let go, Jake came over holding two little medicine cups of blood. "This one's merlin, and this one is black bear. I don't think I have to tell you what picture to have in your mind."
«I worked hard to get that merlin blood,» Tobias said.
"I'm sure it made you work for it," I said. I touched the merlin blood first, picturing the swift little raptor with its rusty underside and slate gray wings. "Thank you," I murmured, thinking of the confusing day that merlin must have had when a red-tailed hawk came after it.
"You're welcome," Jake said, not getting it wasn't for him.
Cassie smiled, and I think she understood. "We ganged up on the black bear as wolves. It'll be okay. We didn't get it too bad."
I touched the black bear blood and said thanks.
"I think Jamal and Julie are ready," Jake said. "I'll go help them out. The other students are gathering by the creek. We're all going to do bird morphs together."
Cassie and I got down from the rock, next to Emeraude. She linked her arm through mine, and we walked down to the creek, where I could wash the blood off my fingertips. Emeraude and I kept to the side of the group, but we could hear everyone talking excitedly.
The other Animorphs joined us with Julie and Jamal. Toby raised her voice, spoke in Hork-Bajir, then said in English, "Is everyone ready? Picture your bird morph in your mind, nice and clear. Don't be afraid when the changes come. It'll be okay."
I built up the merlin in my mind, starting from its fast-beating heart. I added the four-chambered lungs, the gizzard, the stomach, all essential organs, then the ribcage holding them in with its sharp keel, the powerful wing muscles anchored to the keel, the spine, the skull with its big eye sockets, the wing bones that were just like my arm and finger bones but rearranged, the tail like my ancestors used to have, the scaly legs, the skin, the eyes fixed in their sockets, the sideways eyelid, the keen mind searching for prey. I almost faltered when Emeraude disappeared, but she said, come on, you could remember this stuff during finals week at vet school, you can remember it now, and I kept visualizing even as my body seemed to melt away like candle wax and re-form itself.
I opened my eyes, and I was surrounded by other raptors. I was in danger! Quick as I could, I took to the sky, racing far away to find my own territory, and safety.
«Dad! You're an estreen too!»
My fledgling! I had to protect my fledgling from the other raptors! Where was my child? I only saw adults –
«Cassie? Where are you?»
«Nice. You got a grip pretty quick. I'm the osprey above you. But wow, Dad, you're an estreen! It must be because of all the veterinary – »
«Cassie,» I said, looking down on the valley. I could see the waterfall crashing down into the burbling creek, the stands of Douglas fir, the human and Hork-Bajir camps, the birds foraging for seeds and the squirrels rustling the branches. Everything. The world was so much bigger than I'd ever known, even when I'd been a little kid and Emeraude would turn into a snail kite and fly as high as she could go. I didn't have to worry about how much space I was taking up, because I had the whole sky to spread my wings. «Cassie, I'm flying!»
Above me, the osprey circled. «I know, right? It's the most amazing thing in the world.»
«I wish Michelle could see this. We've both treated birds at the clinic, but this – to see the world the way they do – what is it like? Treating a sick raptor, knowing what the sky looks like through their eyes?»
We wondered that so many times, Emeraude thought, studying a bird's lungs, wondering what it's like to breathe the air up here –
«It changes everything. How could it not? Nothing's ever the same after this,» Cassie said. «Come on, let's get out from under these clouds. The sun'll hit the ground, and there'll be these updrafts of warm air called – »
«Cassie,» I said. «I know what a thermal is.»
Cassie laughed. «Of course you do. Come on, let's go catch one!»