I ran through the doors of the hospital. I was trying not to cry, of course, a pride thing. My damn mother.
I've been in this situation time in and out. My father was shot when I was 9 and mom had cracked a rib once and broken her ankle another and there were other injuries along the way. I'd grown up accustomed to that.
I was not accustomed to getting phone calls in the middle of class (let alone my AP Chemistry class mind you, the one that's so hard that I wants to scream) from Max saying calmly that our Mom is in surgery because she took a bullet. That I needed to ditch school and get in my car and get here as quickly as possible.
Max has always been relaxed. He doesn't get worked up about things. His disposition is so chill, and I just don't understand. He's always been their 'good kid' and I've been the 'wild child'. Well, I mean, they did make two kids that are carbon copies of themselves. What did they expect?
Max knew how serious this was too. But he knows it scares the shit out of me, especially considering what I've been confiding in him recently...
I searched purposely for the ER waiting area, and that's when I saw my Dad. I ran, shoving my keys in my pockets and collapsing in his big wide chest. His arms wrapped around me, and he tucked my head underneath his chin. I still wasn't crying, but I might as well have been.
I'm 17 years old. That doesn't mean I'm capable of handling this.
Dad was in fact crying, and I could tell by the way his chest rose and fell. But his hugs always relax me, and this is no time to relax.
I stepped back from him, and he said "She's not well, Cal."
Where the hell was Max?
I turned to see that he was walking right in behind me. "Where the hell have you been?" I asked.
My dad gave me a scowl, but Max replied "I'm sorry, there was a lot of traffic."
My goodness my brother is an angel. But my angel. I leaned into his side and he gave me a long hug. Then he reached out to dad, and there was some sort of an intense man hug.
Seeing a 21 year old Max standing next to my father is like seeing double. I mean, dad is obviously aged, but Max is just, him. So him. Him with mom's eyes. Oh, mom.
My brother grabbed my arm and held me close to him. "How's she doing, Dad?"
Dad shook his head, "She's going to need a miracle."
I've always been a 'momma's girl'. Max tended to cling to dad, but me? Everything was about my mother. And the feeling of losing her was creeping in, and I couldn't handle it. A doctor came out and called for my Dad, and I just needed to run. But Max had a hold of my arm. He wouldn't let me run.
I refused to watch, and turned into Maxwell's chest. I wanted me ears to be covered so that I couldn't hear. Max knew, and whispered down into my ear, "Are you going to tell them today?"
That's when I started crying. I knew on a day like today, with this situation, there was no way I'd make it through the day without crying.
Today I would tell them. I would honor my Mom today. God forbid we lose her, but my mind was set.
Dad came back over to us.
"She's stable. For now. Critical, but stable. Missed her heart by a quarter of an inch. She'll be out for while."
"Can we see her?" I asked.
"In a little bit," he said.
Its the boys of my family. If Mom were out here and Dad in there, our next move would have probably been to find a vending machine for some good old fashion stress eating. And then she'd buy him a bag of his favorite potato chips for when he wakes up. But these boys decided we needed another hug, but more like a group hug, one of relief but still lots of anxiety.
When we finally got to go back and see her, Sam and Callen had come. Max stayed back to talk to them, while Dad and I went. She was asleep. She looked pale. I traced a finger down the length of her arm. The steady reassuring beep of her heart monitor. Dad pressed a long kiss to her lips.
Have I mentioned that after over 20 years of marriage my parents still love each other as much as day one? Because they are and it's beautiful.
After his kiss, I looked up at my Dad. Knowing that Mom would be okay, I needed to tell him what's been on my mind. I wish Max had been with me, but he'd given me all of the strength I needed.
"Dad?" I asked. His hand was laced around Mom's and he looked up at me in a bit of a daze.
"There's something I want to talk to you about."
He looked confused. "What is it, Callie?"
I took a deep breath. "You and Mom, you guys do amazing things. You keep us safe, and you're both strong. And Mom, she's, she's so good. A mother, a wife, a hard worker. I want to be like her, and you, in every single aspect of who I am. I'd like to be a federal agent. I know the risk, Dad. I know what you two do is hard and it makes it impossible to have a personal life, it's dangerous. If anyone knows the risk, it would be Max and I. We've been watching it for years. But I want to do this for Mom. To honor her. She did it. It's shaped her into this beautiful woman that she is. I want that too."
My father looked at me and bit his lip. Come on Dad, believe in me. That's all I could think of. Will he believe in me?
"I, Callie..." he began.
"Come on Dad. Believe in me. I can do this." I said calmly and quietly.
"I most definitely believe in you, baby girl. It's obvious that you've thought this through. And I know you're capable of doing it. But honestly? It scares the hell out of me."
"It doesn't scare me." Mom said groggily, cracking one eye open. I know she can do it. "However, I don't see why you're trying to 'honor me.'"
I laughed in relief. "Mom, you have no idea who you are to me."
"Apparently not? I thought I was Kensi Deeks, formerly Blye? Two kids, two dogs, one a pet, one my husband..."
I laughed again. "Stop it Mom, I'm gonna cry."
"Callie," Mom said quietly. "I know you understand the risks involved. You're big enough and smart enough to make that decision. I think you've learned a lot from me and from your father about how to make partnerships work and how to balance out your life. I think you'll make a great agent. Just know that whatever you do, we'll be proud of you. You don't have to be just like me."
The tears bubbled in my eyes as my dad added, "I agree 100%."
Weight lifted off of me. I could be an agent. They believed in me. I knew they would. Mom yelled for me to lower my head down so she could kiss my temple. She then declared, "Where the hell is my son?"
Well, you know. Like mother, like daughter. There's really no other explanation.