I don't know how I managed to get home that night, my body was bruised but I wasn't worried. They would be gone by tomorrow. I couldn't feel the pain and if I could, I knew I would still be in that alleyway.

The lights were off, everyone was asleep. I limped into my room, taking off my dirt-stained dress. I glanced in the mirror, my face was dirty, my body bruised, but I was emotionless. After Luka left, I blacked out. I didn't have a reason to cry, I knew this was all too good to be true. I felt it, my mind was telling me not to get close to people, I ignored it and now I paid the price. I collapsed onto my floor, not really doing anything.

I felt so tired...Of all this.

I killed myself so I didn't have to go through the pain of living.

This world wasn't worth something to wake up too. Now, I wasn't able to escape. I was stuck on this horrible earth. I took a deep breath, my body trying to calm itself down. I laid there on my floor, staring at the ceiling. What was I to do tomorrow? I didn't want to see Luka...Images from earlier flashed in my head, making me curl into a ball.

Her touch lingered on my skin, her lust filled eyes making my body shiver with fear. The way she talked to me was forever dug into my mind. I didn't want her to touch me again, I didn't want her to ever look at me like that again. I pulled at my dirty black hair, trying to force the images out of my head. I didn't want to cry out, afraid Mother would come in. I remembered her tongue still vivid on my cheeks. Why...why didn't I listen? I should have stayed away from the Host Club.

I don't need friends...They don't bring good feelings.

They brought pain.

I sat on the roof of the school, staring down at the yard, watching students pile into their cars to go to lunch. I didn't want to be seen in front of the school, Luka might find me. It's not like I eat or anything, I just didn't want to throw up again. I never felt hungry or thirsty. Eating wasn't a thing I needed to live on anymore.

I was sitting on the exact spot where I jumped to my death, looking down you could see no stain from where I landed; no trace I was ever there. I sighed, my breath leaving a white mist in the cold air. At least, I was still breathing. Did I need to? Was it a reflex? Again, I returned my gaze to below.

It was funny, seeing me still alive right where I died.

"Oh, hello there."

I shot back in fear, thinking it was Luka. It was the boy with brown hair from a couple days ago. He looked confused at my reaction, but let it go quickly. He was bundled up in his brown sweater and scarf, in his hands was a brown bento. Why is he up here? It's too cold for people to be outside. Then again, here I was sitting here with no jacket. I remained silent as he took a seat away from me. I didn't want to talk to him, people brought betrayal. I need to leave...Staying here could result in me getting hurt.

I stood up, about to run away but I froze as he called out to me. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you or anything. Come over here, I overpacked my lunch today." He got up from his spot, about to touch my back.

I swung around, slapping his hand. "Don't touch me!" I cried, backing up several feet. My eyes widen in shock, seeing his lunch all over the snow. I...Ruined it. "I-I'm so sorry." I dropped to my knees, picking up the food, knowing they continents were not edible anymore. I was flustered, scared and all I wanted to do was run away. I didn't mean to lash out at him, I just...I thought...

"It's okay," he picked up the pieces of his box, "I wasn't hungry anyway."

I felt like crying but I kept my tears inside. I didn't want to show him any weaknesses, what if he was like Luka? No, you need to stop this. I thought to myself. Not everyone is like her, Tamaki has been nice to you, everyone in the club has. Why...Did she have to make me think like this?

Everyone is an enemy.

They will all use me.

I'm alone and I need to accept that.

Once we finished cleaning it up, he sat back down with a sigh. Should I leave or..? No, you need to leave, you've caused enough trouble. The growing silenced made me pull on the ends of my hair. I didn't know what to say to make the awkward feeling pass.

"Hey," He called, "At least, sit down and talk with me." I glanced where his food fell, feeling terrible. It was true, I could at least sit with him since I ruined his lunch. I sat down next to him, he noticed I wasn't wearing a jacket. "Are you not cold?"

Oh yeah, I forgot. I must look crazy for not wearing something to make it seem like I was trying to keep warm. "I forgot my jacket at home." Lying was becoming my specialty. I never realized how much I lied to people.

The boy gasped, taking off his scarf. He rapped it around my neck, it was fluffy but also a bit itchy. "Here, you need it more than I do." He smiled, "My name is Haruhi by the way."

I looked down, honestly not surprised anymore. Another member of the Host Club, of course, he was being kind to me. Why are they suddenly talking to me? When I was alive, they didn't even look my way. I was a girl in the background of their lives. He was the new member, girls said. He was very feminine for a male, didn't help he had big brown eyes and a small frame. Then again, Honey looked like a child even though he was in high school.

"My name-" It was at the tip of my tongue. Should I tell him? What if he tries to find me and... Hurt me... I shook my head. It will be alright, you can't feel pain.

He can't hurt you.

"It's Hara." I grinned. It will be okay, he can know my name. I will not let him get close.

Something dawned on him, "Oh you! Tamaki has talked about you." I had to look away in surprise. Is he talking about me? Why would he do that? "For some reason though, I feel like I've seen you somewhere before."

I began to grow worried. What if he saw Luka and me in the alleyway... Or worse. When I killed myself that night. No, he couldn't have. No one was there, I made sure of it.

"Probably in the halls," I had to think of something quick. "Maybe, in the library." I was there sometimes and he looked like the kind of guy to go there too.

"You are right, perhaps so."

The bell rung, making me jump up a little to fast. This means I could get away from him, I didn't want to grow any trust with him. "I must go, have a good day."

"See you at the Host Club!" He smiled.

I wasn't going to see him there, I was never going to go there again. They were all going to use me at some point. I felt something wet run down my cheek, making me go into the nearest bathroom. In the mirror, I saw a single tear going down my face. Why was I crying? I tried my best not to do this anymore. I realized it was because of what Luka was making me become. I didn't want to get close to people cause she made me afraid. She knew I didn't have friends and used that against me, now I think everyone is like her.

All the Host's ever did was be nice to me, try to welcome me into their little club. I didn't want to try anymore cause what if they were secretly plotting something. I turned around and noticed in my bag was the energy bar. I took it out, almost bursting into tears. Tamaki bought this for me out of the kindness of his heart and here I am thinking he is an evil person out to get me. Why am I like this? Why am I so afraid?

I knew why.

All my life I had been pushed around by my mother and when Seika was born, it made it all the worse. She became the favorite since day one and I was there to make sure Mother had a good image. Father may be nice to me, but it was behind the scenes. Mother wasn't allowed to see it or surely, he would be punished too. Through middle school, I was kept on a tight leash. I was becoming old enough to affect my mother's life, if I ruined it for her in the tiniest bit, I might as well be a ghost. When I first came here, she made sure to always ask the teachers to tell her if I misbehaved, did poorly on a test or my grades began to fall. They all started to think I was a delinquent by the way she was describing me.

At first, people would talk to me. Actually try to get me to go out and play with them. However, I was to busy studying. Mother would be upset if she saw me running around having fun, it would make her look bad. From turning them down every time, they learned not to ask. I was soon met with evil glares and harsh words behind my back.

"Hey there, Little Miss Perfect." I shoved my energy bar into my bag quickly, stepping away from...Her. Luka's hair was curly today and her eyes immediately looked at me like I was a piece of meat. My body began to shake, I tried to keep a distance away from her.

"Calm down," She approached me, "I have things to do with you later." She breathed in my ear. I almost dropped to my knees but caught myself. I can't show her weakness, even though I was shaking. I wanted to scream at her, to fight her. She made me scared of people. She was making me fall further into the dark pit of loneliness.

I couldn't take my eyes off her, scared she would take her words back and harm me. "L-Luka..." My speech stuttered, making her look at me. Her eyes filling with lust. She grabbed my chin, licking her lips.

"Don't talk like that, you'll make me impatient." She then washed her hands and left the bathroom with a wink.

I dropped to my knees, my breath ragged. Why...Why did she strike so much fear into me? I could lash out at my sister who has bullied me all my life, where Luka makes me want to die all over again. I can't harm her...I'm too scared. I rose up, covering my mouth. I felt like vomiting... I haven't eaten anything since the bread... I still didn't feel hungry.

I felt them.

Someone's eyes were on me.

I looked around desperately but saw no one. Who could it be? I walked quickly down the hallway, trying to keep my gaze forward. They were drilling into my back, making me want to just run. However, I was still in school and everyone would look at me weirdly. I glanced back, seeing eyes peer from the shadows. I began to panic, almost fleeing at a run-like-pace. I needed to leave the school. What if it was Luka's followers?! My body instinctively stopped, my eyes looking up a flight of stairs. The Host Club was up there, Tamaki was waiting for me. I wanted to go up those stairs desperately, but I knew better.

They would hurt me too.

"Do my eyes trick me?" I heard someone whisper. I shot backward, seeing a man in a black cloak. He had a cat puppet, on one hand, his dark eyes studying me. I had no need to get to know this person, I turned around. 'Ignore him, he will not harm you.' I thought to myself as I got close to the front door of the school. I can go home and forget all about today. My hand reached for the handle.

I stood in complete horror as the words reached my ears.

"You killed yourself didn't you?" My head turned, seeing the dark-eyed man smirking at me. I couldn't move. I was scared. I thought Luka was terrifying but with only a few words from this man, I've never been so scared in my life. I heard him wrong, that must be it. He just asked if I killed myself, it was true but how could he have known?

"I didn't..." I hugged myself, "I didn't kill myself." He has to believe me. Everyone can see me, it's not like I'm a ghost. He must be playing some kind of cruel joke. He smiled from under his cloak, he looked like a small child who found the first Easter egg.

He spoke to where only I could hear him, "Come with me. I may be of some help." Help..? He could help me? What help did I need of? Someone to take me away from my cruel Mother, away from my sister, or make me not so afraid of life.

What if he could help me pass on.

Surely, something was keeping me tied to this world and he could help me leave. I could finally rest in peace. Get away from this hell... I was afraid though. He could get me alone and hurt me. Sakura did the same thing. My mind was telling me to follow him, that it would be okay. I bit my lip, I have to follow him. I nodded, stepping towards the shadow he was hiding in. I was stepping into uncertainty. My dark future.

"Good choice," He giggled, "I'm so lucky!" He lead me to a dark room lit with candles. There was puppets and symbols everywhere that I've never seen before. I was uneasy. Was he going to sacrifice my dead soul to a demon? He circled around me, reaching for my hair. I flinched away, making him frown. "It is alright," He sounded concerned, "I will not harm you. How could I?" What does he mean?

I hugged myself, "It's dark," I mumbled...

His puppet reached a hand out to me, I took it with caution. "I'm terribly sorry about that, my name is Nekozawa."

"Hara..." I breathed.

He pulled away, looking at me like I was the best thing he has ever seen. Like a scientist that discovered his first organism. "I never thought I would ever get to see this." What was he talking about, he made no sense. "Why, I didn't think it was possible but here you are!" He continued to go on to himself, making me feel impatient. He said he would help me, but here he was talking to himself.

"How can you help me?" I spoke up.

He paused, remembering what he said earlier, "Oh yes, I can try. I mean...I've never experienced this before." He continued to talk nonsense, I was tempted to leave. He surely was making fun of me. "I've never seen a dead person before."

I forced myself not to freeze in place, he knew something and I needed to find out.

What was wrong with me, why I was still alive?

"I don't understand," I said.

"I knew something was off the moment I saw you that morning. Your pale skin and tired eyes." He spoke, "You no longer were a part of the living." He grabbed my hands and loved the cold they gave off. "You are as cold as death!" He smiled, "As you can see I am into the dark arts and seeing someone who is dead is rather an accomplishment."

I frowned, looking away.

"I didn't think I would ever get to see this in my life time." He continued to talk to himself, wearing the brightest of smiles. I continued to grow heavier, I bit back tears. Actually seeing and hearing someone being happy for my death made me feel terrible. He didn't ask why I did it. He was happy over my death while I was to miserable to even stay alive.

I snapped, "How dare you smile." He paused, not knowing he offended me. "How can you stand there and act like this is a party while I am standing here, I killed myself and you are cheering!" Tears flowed down my cheeks, "I died and you are proud of it!"

Nekozawa looked completely shocked. I couldn't stand here and watch him be so cheery anymore. It made me think of Mother, I knew she too would be be filled with joy if she found out I was dead. He reached out for me, but I slapped his hand away.

"You are disgusting," I glared from blurry eyes. "Don't you ever touch me!" I turned around, running away from him. I didn't care if he knew something I didn't know. I no longer wanted his help, I wanted to disappear. That was the whole reason why I wanted to die. The reason I did die! Someone knew I killed myself and I could care less if the whole word knew at this point.