I was up bright and early the next day, already dressed and ready to go. However, with it being so early in the morning; I had time to spare. My eyes wondered to my bed, seeing Tamaki's jacket neatly folded. Since I was so happy yesterday, I completely forgot I was wearing it and ended up falling asleep with it on. I covered my burning cheeks. It was nice...I felt like I was being held tightly. I shook my head. Today, I get to see him again...I was smiling like a middle schooler who just had a new crush. Since I was such in a good mood, I decided to put my hair into pig-tails. I wanted to do something new. I peeked my face out of my door, not seeing Mother or Seika. I wonder when they will come back...I didn't want them too. I enjoyed the calm atmosphere...Not being tormented by my sister.

I decided to go into town since I was up early before school. I wanted to get something for him...It sounded nice. As I was leaving, I called out "I'm going to school!" It was in case Father was awake. It felt weird. I never called out to Mother when I was leaving. Then again, she was always watching, making sure I left for school. Even if I was sick or deathly ill, I had to go.

Skipping wasn't an option.

The sun was bright this morning, I knew if I could have felt its warmth, it would feel amazing on my pale skin. I smiled, as I approached a store that sold little nick-knacks and some snacks. I wanted to buy Tamaki something, to show our new friendship. As I went in, I glanced around for something he might like. I didn't know what he would have wanted. I didn't know much about him. All I knew, was that he likes hot chocolate and coffee. I puffed out my cheeks as I picked up a pencil with a fox eraser on the tip. Would he like this? No...Being a popular rich kid, surely he wouldn't like little things like this. I put it back as someone approached me from behind.

"Good morning Hara, what are you doing here?" I quickly turned, seeing Haruhi with a couple things in his basket.

Oh, he must be an early riser.

I was too happy as I blurted out, "I'm getting Tamaki something, he became my friend..." I covered my mouth. Oh god, did I really just say that out loud. It was something I wasn't used to saying, making me feel embarrassed. His face looked surprised for a minute, but then he smiled.

"I don't know what he would like though..." I spoke honestly.

"Oh, come here," He leads me into a small food section of the store, picking up a package of coffee beans. "He likes the brand pretty well. I think you should get this for him, he will love it."

I took it from him, a small feeling in my heart. I didn't like it...It was painful and made me upset. He knew instantly what Tamaki would have wanted. How close were they to each other? I shook my head. They are just friends, I shouldn't feel this way. Besides, I get to see him smile...

I gave Haruhi a small genuine smile, "Thank you, I would have never guessed he would like this...It's a cheap brand, doesn't he get high-quality stuff?" With him being highly rich, why would he buy such low coffee?

"You see, one morning I brought some to the club and shared it. Everyone loved it and ever since he has been begging me to bring more, I was going to grab some today but seeing as you wanna get him something. I think you should give it to him." I felt...Uneasy. Was it a good idea to give Tamaki something? Haruhi seemed so close to them...I didn't like the word sitting on my tongue.

Jealousy.

I noticed the time, school was going to start soon. "I better go..." I bowed to him.

"Why don't we walk back together? I just have to drop off some groceries for my dad." He asked as we were paying for our items. I instantly wanted to run away. I could barely let myself trust Tamaki, how could I easily trust him? I wanted to say yes, this could be my chance to make a friend. I couldn't muster the courage though...It wasn't the same from when I was with Tamaki.

I frowned, "I'm sorry, but I really must go."

I quickly rushed away. I couldn't do it...I wasn't able to say yes to him. I wasn't ready for all this...After what has all happened to me. He was so nice to me too...I had no reason to doubt him, he was kind to me like Tamaki, but yet...Something was telling me not to trust him like he was hiding something. I must be out of mind, what does he have to hide from me? I barely know him and here I am already doubting him. Maybe with more time, I might be able to be friends with him. Not just him, maybe also anyone else.

I was in the bathroom stall, puking my guts out. Seeing the marshmallows, not even digested, float in the toilet water made me feel even sicker. I puked up small bites from dinner and the hot chocolate. So I can't even digest flavored drinks...What about water? I'm too scared to even try. I hate vomiting. I laid my head on the seat, taking a couple breaths. Ugh...Why am I like this? I was still confused as ever, nothing was telling me what was going on with my body. I had to take one step at a time, I believed soon, something would tell me what was happening.

I needed to be patient.

"Hey, have you seen the new makeup line?"

I know her voice...I frowned, deciding to peek through the crack of the stall door. Sakura was standing there with one of her friends, putting on red lipstick. My body became heavy. The girl who didn't care what happened to me as long as she got her money. I wanted to bust out my stall, to yell at her. Why did she have to give me away?! I would have become her friend...We could have even become best friends. She was adorable still, even after it all. She looked completely innocence. If I was to tell anyone what happened to me that day, no one would believe me.

Her friend began to giggle, "Did you get the money from Luka?" My heart stopped in my throat. My eyes widening, knowing she was talking about me.

"Of course, I wouldn't dare talk to that geek without something." She snarled, "She actually thought I was going to be her friend, what a joke." I couldn't move, my body like a stone. How could she say those things... She was kind to me then, I didn't think she was capable of this. "I actually bought this lipstick with the money." She smacked her lips, showing off the bright red color.

"It is a very nice shade, you should let me borrow it."

They walked out, gossiping to one another. After what seemed like forever, I dragged myself out of the bathroom. People are so cruel...Why would I want to ever get close to anyone...They're all the same. I managed to walk myself to the staircase. Suddenly, Tamaki was standing next to me with a grin. The thought of not trusting anyone was crushed in my mind...My thoughts becoming calm. I smiled at him, all my worries disappearing.

I forgot I had him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, noticing my smile wasn't completely there. It was hard to forget something like that...I wasn't that strong. "You can tell me." I couldn't tell him though. Even if he is my friend, I refuse to put my problems onto him.

I looked at my feet, "I don't feel well..." Lying to him felt wrong, but I had to do it. If I told him what Sakura did to me and Luka. What would he do? I see him being the type to talk to them. I don't want any confrontation cause of me.

I'm not someone who deserved to be defended.

"Oh...I'm sorry. Do you need to go home?"

I wanted to laugh.

It would be a miracle if Mother would allow me to go home.

It was funny because she would never.

"I am okay, besides I wanted to see you today." I was so excited that I could barely sleep last night. Oh! That reminded me, "Here, you forgot this?" I pulled out his jacket.

He took it from me, "Thank you! I was to busy coming up with the surprise, that I forgot to take it back. I'm glad I didn't though, it was cold yesterday and you needed it more then I did." I nodded to him despite me not even feeling the weather. However, I was happy he forgot it...I loved sleeping with it on, I felt safe. I was actually a little disappointed I was giving it back, but I could never keep it. It was his and I wasn't the person who deserved it.

"I better get to class Tamaki, thank you for yesterday," I bowed.

He stopped me with his hand on my shoulder, "You don't have to do that, we are friends!" I got back up, feeling awkward. I always bow...Mother taught me from when I was little to always be beneath someone. They are always you're superior, no matter who they are.

Listen to what others say, never disobey.

"I'm sorry..." I apologized.

I was walking away when he called out to me, "See you at the Host Club?" I could tell he was unsure. Every time, I was going to go, I never showed up. How was he suppose to know that I wouldn't ditch today either?

I looked over my shoulder, a gentle smile, "It is a promise."

I stopped by the door, the feeling of being overwhelmed hit me. Should I do this? If I walk in, everything could change for me. I wasn't used to the other Host's. The only ones I know or actually talked to was Haruhi and Tamaki. Honey was nice...And so is Takashi. Kyoya was too intimidating for me...The twins were...Too out there. My hand hesitated to reach for the door...I was scared.

"Come on..." I whispered to myself. Trying to give me some courage. I could hear girls talking on the other side and the twins loud voices. I was growing more uncertain. I should just walk away...Go home and forget this ever happened. But Tamaki...I promised him I would show up. He wanted to surprise me and here I am wanting to run away again. I told myself 'he is your friend, he will not hurt you.' I have to learn to trust and this is my first trial. Going through this door will allow me to get close to people.

I can't hold back anymore.

I pushed the door open, seeing the club bustling with life. Everyone was laughing, having a good time with the boys. Here I was by the door, about to pee my pants. My hands played with each other, not knowing what to do next. 'You can't just stand here. You opened the door so now do something!' I walked forward, trying my best to attract the least amount attention.

"Whoops," Someone snickered in my ear.

I couldn't process the thought fast enough as I trip over her feet. I landed with a slap on the floor, everyone looking to see what happened. "I'm so sorry! You okay?" I glanced up to see Sakura, a fake expression of worry painted on her face. I flinched back as she offered a hand. She wanted everyone to see herself as the innocent savior. She got away with it too. Somebody was by my side in an instant, I thought it was Tamaki but my eyes widened.

"Here," Takashi helped me up. I took his large hand, getting off the floor. "Be careful," He directed towards Sakura. Her face turned red with rage. She suspected no one to help me. She wanted to show me that no one would care.

She quickly slapped on a smile, "I am sorry, I'll try to be more careful." She glared at me, rushing out of the Host Club. No longer wanting the eyes on her.

"Thank you..." I said under my breath. I was shocked. Why did he help me? He sudden action to come to my aid left me feeling nervous. I wanted to hit myself for constantly feeling like a scared kitten. I have to find Tamaki. My body instantly wanted to be by his side. He made me feel safe...No one could hurt me if he was around. Takashi knew I was uncomfortable with him there, he took the note. He nodded at me and returned to Honey's side. He noticed I was here, but couldn't say hi as he was talking to some girls. With Takashi gone, I took a breath of relief.

I'm not ready to make friends with others...I just wasn't prepared for that yet. I noticed Tamaki was talking to Haruhi, he hasn't noticed I was here. I grew worried. Should I have come? He doesn't even see me. A shock went through my body. What if he was lying about the surprise? What if he just wanted to make fun of me by letting me stand here alone. My feet urged me to go say hi to him, he was just having a conversation. 'That is why he hasn't seen you.'

"Hello," I jumped back. Huh? I looked up to see Kyoya glancing at Tamaki, he knew I was looking at him. "If you wish to speak to him then go do it." If I couldn't handle the quiet Takashi, how was I suppose to handle him?! He was powerful, collected and calm. He was everything I wasn't. My words fumbled over my tongue, nothing could come out.

Tamaki saw us talking, he decided to come over, a grin on his face. "Kyoya, you got number one on the test scores again."

"Naturally," He said.

Tamaki then grabbed my shoulders, "I saw you got second! Only one point off from KyoyDid I get

I got second? I glanced at Kyoya, he looked like he was thinking of something. I was one point away from being the same as this perfect man. If I tried harder, I could have been on the same level as him. He was scary, he was intimidating but he was also someone who always held himself high. Even if I was just as smart as him, I would never be like him. I saw myself as dirt while he was the God walking on me.

"So you are Hara?" His sudden question pulled me out of thought.

Tamaki jumped in, "Yep! She is my new friend I was telling you about." He told him about me? I wanted to smile, but decided against it. I didn't want to show it to Kyoya...

"I see..." He lost interest in me as he went to go talk to some of the guest. I felt like a burden. I knew I was boring...I couldn't even speak a sentence to him. I would have walked away also.

Tamaki waved his hand in front of me, "You ready for your surprise?!" Oh yea, he was going to surprise me with something. That also reminded me that I had the coffee in my bag. Should I give it to him now or..? He pulled something out of his pocket, it was a small purple box. I grew silent; not knowing what to say. My hands refused to take it from him. I have never received a gift from someone before...I didn't know what to do. He saw me being reluctant, opening it up for me.

Inside was a small blue gem shaped like an iris, the necklace was small and simple, however, still beautiful. I was speechless. How could he get me something so pretty...The coffee was nothing compared to this. I felt horrible. I couldn't give him my gift...It would be a mockery of what he gave me. He took it out of the box, putting it on for me. I didn't push him away as he lifted my hair up. His fingers brushed across my neck, leaving a tingling feeling left over. When he got it on, he looked at me, waiting for me to say something.

"I..." My mouth gaped, "Don't deserve this."

I didn't.

I could never deserve something so pretty. Why would he do this for me when we just met? I went to take it off, but he stopped me by grabbing my hand.

It was warm.

"Keep it," He grinned. "It is a sign of our friendship. You know an Iris flower means hope. I wish to help you with whatever is troubling you."

I had no hope left.

I wanted to tell him that desperately. I killed myself and who knew when my time would come, if it would ever come. I could just disappear one day and he would never know. I was stuck in this personal hell of mine. I refused to drag him in it. However, I made a promise to myself that I would let him become my friend. He could make this world less dark. I could go on being dead if he was here.

"Okay," I smiled.

He touched one of my of pig-tails, making me flinch. "You look cute with your hair like this." He likes it. I looked at my feet, hiding a grin. "Hey, don't look down." His thumb lifted up my chin. "You have a beautiful smile, don't hide it." Oh god, this is to much. My head was spinning. His fingers were like flower petals and the way he touched me left my mind numb. I swore he was an angel sent down to help me. I was nothing but a lonely soul and he was here to help guide me.

"Hey, Hara, nice to see that you came," Haruhi said. When he came over, I had to hide the pink trying to cross my cheeks. I was flustered enough and didn't want to be mocked for it. My body went to naturally bow but remembered what Tamaki told me earlier. I fought the urge back, not bowing to Haruhi. I felt this was the first step in breaking some habits.

What I couldn't break was the familiar feeling of overstaying my welcome. I needed time to adjust to this place and the overwhelming thought of Mother crept into my head. I felt like it was my time to go, I have been here long enough.

"Yes...but I must be leaving." I couldn't make eye contact with both of them. I grew unwanted when he came over. I wasn't comfortable standing here.

Tamaki frowned, "but you just got here." I would have liked to stay longer. However, I have overstayed my welcome. I needed to slowly work my way up. Maybe someday, this place could become my second home.

"I know, I am sorry." I didn't give them time to stop me. I didn't want to argue with them or get sucked into a conversation so I quickly fled the club. Ignoring Tamaki calling my name as I shut the door behind me.