Sam found himself sitting in the back of the Impala in one of his brother's dreams. He could've smacked himself upside the head for not considering this earlier. There was a way for him to be with his brother without ever having to leave Heaven. He could project himself into his brother's dreams, just as he did right after his dad took him.
Sam looked around. Dean seemed to be dreaming about being on the road together. Only this time, Gabriel was there as well. Sam could see the dream version of his father sitting next to him. Dean wanted the same thing he did. He wanted their family back. "Dean."
Dean turned around and took his hands off the wheel. Since it was just a dream, the car simply stopped, and both dream Sam and Gabriel disappeared. "Sammy? Are you really here?"
Sam smiled. "Yeah. I realized they can't stop it this way."
Dean immediately jumped in the back and hugged his brother. It had been really hard not being able to see him, and worse, knowing he wouldn't be able to again until he died. If he hadn't promised Gabriel, he probably would've killed himself by now.
Sam hugged him back. "I missed you so much, man. It's hard to believe it's only been a month."
Dean pulled away. "Are you okay. What's it like up there?" Dean asked.
"It's Hell, man. I can't go anywhere without getting looks from practically every angel I come across," Sam said.
"They're dicks. Don't listen to them," Dean said.
"They're not all bad, I guess. There are a couple who have been nice There's the gardener, Joshua. He was nice to me. He said it's because God talks to him and has told him I'm not a threat.
"Damn. So God actually deemed some angels worthy of talking to," Dean commented.
"As far as I know, it's just Joshua. There's also Balthazar. He's a friend of Cas'. He trusts him, so I guess he trusts me. He helped me when a couple of his dick brothers and I got into it," Sam explained.
"Good. I guess it's not all bad then," Dean said.
"Of course it is, Dean. You're not there," Sam said. Everything could be perfect in Heaven. The angels could all worship the ground he walked on, but it still wouldn't anything other than Hell to Sam because he didn't have Dean.
"It'll get better," Dean lied. If things for Sam were anything like they were for Dean, he doubted it would ever get even remotely better, but he was the big brother. It was his job to at least try to make things better for Sam, even if it was a lie.
"It doesn't look like it's any better for you. You're dreaming about the three of us as a family. You miss us," Sam said.
"Of course I do, Sam. You guys are my family. I'll miss you for the rest of my life. But that doesn't mean things can't get better," Dean said.
"I know when you're lying, Dean. You don't think it'll get better," Sam said. His brother was trying to make things better for Sam by lying to him, but Sam saw right through it. Dean was as miserable as he was and he always would be.
"Well, it won't if you come into my dreams all the time," Dean said. As much as he loved seeing Sam right now, this was probably a mistake. It would just make things harder for the both of them, and it might even get Sam in trouble with the dicks in Heaven.
"You don't want me here?"
"You know I do, Sam. Even if dreams are a poor imitation, I'm glad to see you. But I don't think it's the best idea. Gabriel doesn't know you're here, does he?" Dean asked.
"I'm sure he does now," Sam said. His father had been able to tell the last time he'd dream walked Dean. He'd also been able to tell when Michael and Raphael had gotten into both his and Dean's dreams. It was likely he knew now as well.
"But you didn't tell him. That means even you know this wasn't a good idea," Dean said.
"What's wrong with it? We can see each other whenever we want this way," Sam argued.
"Like I said, it's a poor imitation, and neither of us can move on this way," Dean said. Truthfully, he doubted he could move on, but maybe Sam could with Gabriel's help, and even if he couldn't, this wasn't really a solution. Dean felt it would just make things worse.
"You wanna move on. You don't want to see me, like you didn't want to see Cas," Sam said with hurt," laced in his voice.
Dean slammed his fist angrily into the back of the driver's seat in front of him. "No, Sam! Of course I want to see you. I can't wait to die so I can be with you, Gabriel, and Cas again. God, the only thing that's stopping me from putting a bullet in my own head is that I promised I wouldn't." Well, it was that and the fact that Gabriel warned him he'd bring him back if he did something stupid like that. If it was just the promise, he'd probably break it and let Gabriel kick his ass in Heaven.
"No, you can't do that. You deserve to have a life. I don't want you to end it for me," Sam said.
"And I don't want you to put yours on hold for me," Dean countered. "Sam, I know this seemed like a great idea, but I don't think it's worth it. This isn't real. In the end, it's just a dream. Maybe it's a more lifelike one, but it's just a dream, and if you keep it up, you could get in trouble. You're not supposed to be here. If that dick, Michael, finds out..."
"He doesn't have to. There are so many angels that I doubt he's paying that much attention to what I'm doing. The only one who will find out is Dad, and I know he won't tell him," Sam said.
"It's not worth the risk. You don't need to piss the asshole off. The last thing you need is another threat of war. And like I said, neither of us can move on this way. I hate it just as much as you do, but we have to let each other go for now," Dean said. He was doing his best to keep the tears from his eyes. This hurt him to say just as much as it hurt Sam to hear, but he had to let go for Sam's sake at least.
"It's not fair, Dean," Sam said brokenly.
Dean sat back in his seat. "Yeah, well, our lives have never been fair. Why would now be any different?"
"It started to be different. "When the three of us were at home, it was different. Yeah, there was a threat looming over us, but we were happy."
"Yeah," Dean said. It was hard to believe thinking back. When Gabriel first forced him into that house, he was not happy. He was glad to get Sam back, but he saw Gabriel as a threat to the life he and Sam had. But after some time, Gabriel became a part of their family. Dean missed him almost as much as Sam. "We'll get it back, Sammy. It'll just be a while. For right now, you have to go. We just have to live our lives the best we can until we can see each other again.
Sam pulled his brother into his arms and held on as tight as he could. He didn't want to go. He just wanted to stay like this forever. Unfortunately, he felt himself being forcibly pulled away.
Sam woke up back in his room seconds later and heard the hard tone of his father.
"Do you really think that was fair?"
Sam stood up and turned to see his father leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed. "You couldn't have given me a couple more minutes."
"I gave you longer than I should've. I should've pulled you out the second I realized what you were doing. I don't know what you were thinking," Gabriel said.
I wanted to see my brother. I don't see what the big deal is anyway," Sam said before getting up. He brushed past his father as he left the room and headed out to the living room.
"You don't see the big deal? You aren't to leave Heaven!" Gabriel said in a slightly raised tone.
"I didn't. I was here the whole time," Sam said.
"You know damn well that going into someone's dream is a breech of the agreement. I know you know that because otherwise you would've told me what you planned," Gabriel said.
"Agreement? I didn't agree to anything! Lucifer dealt with Michael without giving any of us any say in the matter!" Sam yelled angrily.
"Well, unfortunately, that's how it works her. But in this case, Lucifer didn't really have much choice. It was this or go to war, in which case, many would've been killed, maybe even you and me. So I'm sorry, but he made the right choice," Gabriel said.
"Not for me!" Sam yelled.
"And do you think you made the right choice tonight. He asked to be left alone, Sam," Gabriel reminded him.
"Because he couldn't see me. Now he did," Sam said.
"Once, but you had to know that I wasn't going to allow it to happen again. Like I said, you would've told me if you thought I'd agree to it. So all you did was inhibit yours and Dean's ability to move on," Gabriel said.
"I'm never gonna move on!" Sam yelled once more.
Gabriel sighed. "Sam, I know you miss your brother. I miss him too, but this doesn't help it. All it does is make it worse, am I right? Do you feel feel any better than you did a few hours ago?"
"No," Sam admitted. His father wasn't wrong. Leaving Dean's dream felt like losing him all over again. "I didn't do anything to Michael. Why'd he have to do this to me?"
Gabriel approached his son and pulled him into his arms. "'I'm so sorry, kiddo, but we can't change the way things are.
Sam leaned into his father's embrace and let the man comfort him.