I sat in front of the coffee beans. Today, I thought, I will give him these. I was ready for school, feeling determined. No matter what, I will not run away. I don't care who approaches me, let it be Luka or even Sakura; I will give him his gift. I nodded to myself, stuffing the beans into my bag. I closed my bedroom door and the person standing in front of it made me freeze. Standing there was Seika, a nasty grin on her face.

Her arms were crossed as she looked down at me, "I'm back."

Her shoulder was patched up from where I bit into it, slightly stained with blood. I gulped as she leaned down to whisper in my ear. Oh god, what is she going to do to me? If she is here then so is Mother. Should I apologize? It doesn't matter, they will punish me. I thought my life was bad before, but now it will be even worse. I braced myself as I felt her warm breath hit my ear. "Prepare to live in hell." I bit my lip. I was already in hell. I am trying to make it into some kind of little heaven by letting Tamaki into my life. I felt a spark in my chest as I looked up at her with anger.

I will not let her ruin it.

"Bring it on." I hissed, pushing past her and out of the house.

I leaned against the school, breathing heavily. Did I just talk back to her? To the sister who rules over my life in my home? I felt scared, accomplished, and embarrassed all at the same time. Never did I thought, in a million years, that I could speak up to Seika. I didn't know what she is going to do to me when I got home, but I could care less. I felt amazing after saying something. I couldn't let her control me so easily. This time if she wants to try to hurt me.

I will fight back.

As I was walking through the halls, heading towards my first hour. Someone tugged at my dress, I turned around to see a much shorter girl looking up at me. She had big hazel eyes and short messy brown hair. Who is she? I've never seen her before. Maybe, she mistook me for someone else. I did have the characteristics of almost everyone around here.

"Hello there, my name is Oten." She had a bright smile, "I need help finding my class, can you help me?" It was a new student, I told myself. The old me would tell her, no, to ask someone else. However, I will change into a better person and I will help her.

It took some time for me to nod my head.

She let go of my dress, cheering, "Thank you! What is your name?"

I hesitated. What if she knows Luka? what if she is lying to me just to hurt me. I wanted to slap myself. These thoughts have to go, I can't keep on doing this. "My name is Hara, it is nice to meet you," I bowed.

"You have a nice name," She pointed out.

I didn't think it was pretty in the slightest. If I could change it, I would. To something that was lighter, had a nice meaning to it. She handed me her schedule, oh... She has Nitsuo for her first hour! She will love him, he was always so kind to me.

"Come with me. "

We walked past the other students as she was sucking in the environment around her. She was excited to see such high ceilings, staircases, and the high-quality uniforms. Even though her small fingers played with her yellow dress, which would surely wrinkle it. The bright lights from the chandeliers and beautifully decorated lights reflected from her eyes, enhancing their brown features. Roses were in almost in every corner of the school, filling the air with the crisp scent of nature. This place was like a dream and the students living here was apart of it.

There were mostly rich kids here, but there were few, including myself, who got into here from scholarships. In middle school, I went to a normal school not far from here. Since Mother was always on my tail, I had to make good grades which resulted in me getting accepted here. I thought coming to such a first-rate school would make her proud of me, but it only resulted in her cracking down even harder. People here are from the social part of the world, being a screw up would scar her for life.

Oten spoke up, "Hey, you are nice."

I looked down at her in surprise. I was simply leading her to her class. How was that making me a nice person? It was something I was forcing myself into doing it. If she met my old self before I died. She would have ignored me like all the others...

"Thank you..." I said in a low tone.

She jumped in front of me, "I like you!" I gasped, taken back, my shyness starting to surface. "I can tell you are different." I didn't know what to say to her, I was completely shocked. It was weird having someone say they liked me. It was something new and honestly...I enjoyed it. It made me feel good and made everything seem less harsh in this cruel world. "I hope you know, that we are best friends now."

I opened my mouth to say something, "But-" She cut me off, rushing forward. She stopped at a poster on the board. I went up to it and instantly grew worried. It was the snow festival, it was coming soon. Everyone would gather around to watch the snowfall. I could already smell the fried food and the hear the screams of small children running around trying to play for cheap prizes. That's what I imagine would be at a festival.

I've never been to one.

"This," She pointed at it, "We are going together." I went to tell her no, that I wasn't the type of person to go to these things. I've never been to a festival before and I didn't want to start now, especially with someone I didn't even know.

She wrote down the date on a small piece of paper, forcing it into my hands. "We will talk more about it later, do not forget!"

I opened my mouth, "But I can't-" I was cut off again as she took off down the hall.

"See you soon, best friend!" She went straight into Nitsuo's classroom.

Wait...She knew where it was the whole time? Did she lie to me..? I glanced at the paper, it had the date of the festival and a cute smiley face. Should I rip it up and forget about it? Forget about Oten, all the craziness she seemed to ooze out. I shook my head, folding up the tiny note. Didn't I say I was going to try? I tried with Tamaki, I could manage him; he was sweet, kind and a gentleman. He wouldn't hurt me. Now for Oten...Could I trust her? Would she stab me in the back like Sakura did? No, I can't believe everyone is like that.

This weekend, I will go to the festival with her.

I glanced at the coffee in my bag, along with the energy bar. Come on, it is just for him. He won't make you feel embarrassed or anything. I sighed, about to give up. This is hard...I should just go home. I need more courage to do this... I went to turn around and leave school when I heard Tamaki behind me.

"There you are!" He called. I looked at him, faking a smile. I didn't want to see him right now, I needed to gather some strength. "Hara, I was just about to go up to the club. Do you wanna come with me?" I wanted too...No, wait I didn't want too...Maybe, I do? I was confused and nervous. I have to give him his gift no matter what happens. My hand inched towards my bag, ready to grab the coffee.

"Tamaki, I-"

"Oh Hara, nice to see you." To my side was Haruhi, he showed up out of nowhere.

Tamaki's face lit up, "You ready to go up to the club?" He asked.

"Yep." I lost all hope of giving him his present. I didn't want Haruhi to be here, I wanted to give it to him when we were alone. I wanted to tell him how thankful I was for his friendship. Now, I couldn't do it. I lost my chance. I wanted to go home...To run away. However, I slapped on a fake smile, hugging my bag close.

I spoke up, "Shall we go?"

They both nodded at me, happy as can be. What was it about these two? They seemed so comfortable with each other like there wasn't a care in the world. They spoke casually, like childhood friends. That must be it. They probably grew up together. It was the only excuse my tired mind could think of. I wish...I had someone I could be with...Like true friends, speaking to one another so casually. Will me and Tamaki end up like that?

We walked up the stairs, they talked while I stayed silent behind them. This reminded me of Middle school. I tried to make friends once, to go against Mother in some way. It was like this, walking behind them as they carelessly talked away, while I was left behind; to submerge in depression. It always felt like I was suffocating. I could stop walking, let them go ahead. Would they notice me?

"Hey Hara, do you have something for me?" Tamaki asked, looking behind his shoulder. I wanted to freeze in my tracks. How did he find out? I didn't tell anyone about his gift, the only one who knows is-

I glanced at Haruhi, who winked.

My mouth felt like lead, "I um..."

Haruhi told him...Did he say anything about it being coffee? I wanted it to be a surprise. I didn't want him to know. Why Haruhi, why did you do this? Hugging my bag closer, I shook my head. "I don't have anything for you." I had to lie...I couldn't give it to him now, knowing that he knew about it. It lost its special meaning...Haruhi frowned, he didn't think I would lie.

"That's okay, I was wondering that's all."

We stopped by the door, Tamaki held it open for us as we entered. The Club was already full of girls, having a good time. The heavy sickening smell of roses was the first thing to greet me. My nose crinkled as I stepped in behind the two host. My day was crushed. He knew about it. How was I suppose to give it to him now? I should go home... I wanted to give him my gift so badly. He would have loved it, I wish I got to see his reaction.

"Hello, Tamaki and Haruhi." I stopped looking up to see Kyoya standing in front of us with his arms crossed, his expression composed as always, but slightly annoyed. He noticed me behind them, "Hello, Miss. Hara." I slunk back, not knowing what to say.

His eyes always pierced me; they were dark and guarded. Kyoya was a man who wouldn't be easily fooled and it worried me. What if he already knew about my condition? That couldn't be possible. I looked and acted normal, nobody would be able to tell. My gaze returned to Kyoya, watching as he fixed his glasses. His face was well sculpted like he was crafted from the finest marble. He was tall and that made him even more intimidating. The way he carried himself and his looks, there was only one word I could describe him as.

A demon.

Tamaki smiled, "Hey, Kyoya! I managed to bring Hara today, I told you I would."

"I can see that." He sighed, "In which I would wish to talk to her." I almost gasped in shock. I didn't wanna talk to him, I don't even want to be left alone near him. He was too scary for me, to powerful. He could easily crush me like the bug I was.

"Of course, go on, Hara," Tamaki gently pushed me towards him. "Haruhi and I have to get things ready for the festival."

My eyes widened in surprise. The Festival? Are they going together? Or is the club having some kind of event? It was this Saturday and I planned on going with Oten.

Kyoya coughed under his breath, to get me to look at him, "Thinking of something?" He asked lazily.

I couldn't say a word to him, intimidation was keeping my mouth closed. He didn't push on the subject as he leads me to a table, pushing out my chair for me. I took a seat, watching him bring us some tea. I refused to touch it, I didn't want to throw up again. Steam rose off the hot liquid, wishing I could feel the warmth of it on my tongue. I wish I could taste the relaxing brew on in my mouth or all I could do was smell the calming aroma, but it did little help since I couldn't taste it.

"Do you not like tea?" He noticed I haven't touched it. I was treating it like it was some kind of plague. Should I drink it? Make it seem like I'm okay? No...I couldn't bare barfing again.

The words fumbled in my mouth as I struggled to speak.

I spoke quickly, "I'm not thirsty!" It sounded like I was a choking child.

God...I'm an idiot... Why do I embarrass myself so much?

I swore for a split second, that I saw the tiniest smile on him.

He fixed his glasses, "I see you made the second highest score on the test, one point below me." I still couldn't fathom that I was able to be near this godlike man, even if it was just a test score. I could never see myself being so close to someone who was perfect. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," I said under my breath.

It was silent, neither of us having anything to say. Unlike Takashi, this silence wasn't a comfortable one. We could both be content when we had nothing to say to each other, but with Kyoya it was unsettling. It was awkward and made me want to get up. I thought of things to say, but of course, I couldn't get them to come out. I decided to listen around me, maybe I'll hear something of interest.

"Honey is so adorable!" A girl squealed.

I agreed, Honey was a cute little boy, but no way was I going to tell Kyoya that. Honey was someone, who despite being older than me (I found out from some girls.) He beamed with childlike innocence. This was something I wanted. It was far too late for me, my childhood was stripped and torn when I was young. I noticed Honey was with Takashi, eating some cake by themselves; probably taking a break from the girls.

I glanced over at the twins. "Can you guess? Come on!" They both laughed at three girls. They were trying to guess who was who. I couldn't tell...How could anyone? They looked exactly the same in every way. I didn't dislike Hikaru or Kaoru, they were just to hyper for a quiet person like myself. They were open with their emotions and it was something I was jealous of.

"We could sell snacks?" I finally looked over at Tamaki and Haruhi. The small brown haired boy was hunched over a notebook, writing down ideas for the festival. His hair was sleek and shiny, the complete opposite of mine. Haruhi gave off a weird vibe that I couldn't figure out. He looked delicate and somewhat feminine.

Then there was Tamaki. Words could not describe how Tamaki was. He was kind and gentle, his smile could light up a room. His personality could win anyone over and it did, it managed to melt my icy heart. He was precious to me and I would do anything if he asked.

Kyoya spoke up, "Going to the festival?"

How could he tell?! I didn't say a word about it. He saw I was puzzled and decided to make it clear to me, "I could tell you were trying to gather information around, so you could have something to talk about."

Could he read me that easily? He added another reason why he was such a perfect person. It made me unsettled that he could tell what I was doing but I tried not to let it get to me. Demons had strange abilities beyond human comprehension, he was merely them.

"Yes.." I looked away, "I am going to the festival." It felt good to say that.

To do something I would have normally never done.

"That is good, perhaps you can stop by our booth and buy something with your date." I covered my cheeks, my mouth gaped open. Did he just say...Date?! Me, having a boyfriend was a thing that was never going to happen. It didn't happen while I was alive and it wasn't going to happen while I am dead. Besides...Who would ever fall in love with a girl like me? I was to quiet, my looks were plain and romance was something I had no experience in. If some poor soul ever fell in love with me...

I'd reject him immediately.

I was dead now, all hopes on ever starting a family or relationship was gone. I gave that up the moment I jumped off that roof. How could I drag someone down with me? It would be easier on them if I was to let them go, to never let them get close to me. Tamaki was my friend, I was allowing him to get close, but if he ever grew feelings for me...I'd break it off. I could never let a man as kind as him, go down in depression over a waste of space like me.

"I do not have a date," I brushed it off, "I am going with a friend."

"I see..." He was silent for a minute, knowing perfectly well that I didn't have a date. He just wanted to get a reaction out of me. "You can still come by."

With that said, he noticed my eyes kept shifting to where Tamaki was. He spoke, "I can tell Tamaki and you are becoming friends. Why not come by and speak with him Saturday?" Why was Kyoya telling me to do this? Was he approving of our friendship? Wasn't he Tamaki's best friend, wouldn't he be jealous?

"I umm..." I thought it over. I wanted to see Tamaki at the festival. I really wanted to talk to him and maybe even...See the snowfall together... I could finally give him his present. I bit my tongue as I looked at Kyoya. "I will see him."