The night was always something I loved. The darkness can be a scary thing to some but to me, it was something of peace. It was night, when I went too the roof. It was night, when I decided I no longer wanted to live. It was night, when I killed myself. You couldn't see the stars out tonight, clouds covered the sky like a blanket. It was going to snow soon. We were at the festival gates, it was already full of people running around. The smell of food and laughter was in the air. I pulled a piece of loose hair behind my back. Oten was by my side, her hair once again in a small pony-tail. Her kimono was thick like mine. It was a bright green with yellow flowers all over the short sleeves.

"I can't wait to taste the food! It smells amazing!" Oten took a big whiff of the air. Since I couldn't taste food and would throw up everything I ate, I nodded as a reply. I wasn't ready to walk in yet. I was nervous, but I knew Tamaki was here. How will he react when I tell him that I've made a new friend? I think he would be happy for me. I smiled to myself, making sure Oten didn't notice. Imagine them becoming friends as well, then I would have two friends and them liking each other would make it all the better. Perhaps, I should introduce them together? No, I can't make that move yet. I still barely know Oten and Tamaki. It was a nice thought.

I felt her hand rap around my wrist, "You ready?" She could tell I was nervous, that I wasn't used to these things. Her touch was like someone reaching out to me, saying that everything was going to be alright.

"Yes," I said, "Let's have fun." Fun, such a strange word. Who knew that I would be saying that word after I died. When I was alive, nothing was fun. Everything was hell and if anyone even said the word fun around me; I thought they were crazy. She led me past the gates, ignoring all the people. We wondered toward the food stalls, Oten was in complete awe. There was so much food around that you could feed the whole school. Sushi, Takoyaki, cotton candy and many other things I could just imagine. The smell was overwhelming. If only I could eat some...I wasn't hungry but just thinking of the taste made me sad.

Oten tugged on my arm, "Let's try this one!" She led me to a stall that was serving grilled squid on a stick. It smelled heavenly. Before I could tell her I wasn't hungry, she had already slammed the yen down on the counter. The man smiled, thanking us as he handed her the two squids. They were freshly hot, steaming with flavor. "I'm so ready for this!" She reached out for me to take the stick.

I hesitated, "I'm not hungry..." I felt bad telling her this but I couldn't eat anymore.

She shoved it into my palm, "Stop being modest and eat! You figure is nice but you can let go sometimes." My figure..? I could care less about my body. I stared at the food, my mouth watering from the smell. However, this would end grim. No matter how good it smelled, it would taste like nothing.

Oten took a huge bite out of it, immediately regretting it. "Hot!" She ran around, not wanting to spit it out. After she calmed down, she showed me her tongue. "How bad is it?" She tried saying. Her tongue was all red, pieces of squid still around. I couldn't help but laugh at her silliness.

"It's red."

She frowned, "But it is so good." She saw mine untouched. "Come on, try it already. Have you tried squid before?"

I loved grilled squid. When I was younger, before Seika was born, Father used to grill squid at home, it was wonderful. When Seika was born however, Mother grew to hate the smell of sea food and doesn't allow it in the house. "Yes, I love squid."

"Then eat it! Be careful though, it's hot." Pointing to her injured tongue.

I stared at it like it seemed forever. I really didn't want to eat it, I didn't want to throw up. I knew this was coming, festival's involved food and sooner or later, I was going to have to eat some. I slowly took a bite, not feeling it burn my tongue. Of course, it had no taste and swallowing it quickly wasn't a challenge. "It is pretty hot." I lied.

"See! Told you!" She laughed, leading me to more food carts. This was going to be terrible...

It was getting late, the clouds above our heads becoming thicker. It was going to snow soon. After forcing food down my throat, I knew I was going to throw up everywhere. I thought about going home so no one would have to see that, but I wanted to stay here... I haven't seen Tamaki yet. This made me upset, I wanted to see him. To show him my new friend. Oten was new to the school so asking her where the Host's stall might be would be a waist of time.

"I have to use the bathroom, I will be right back." Oten spoke up, doing some weird dance. She rushed off quickly. I remained still, not knowing what to do. Students where all around me, making me feel like a speck in the crowd. Familiar faces didn't glance at me as they talked to their friends or dates. I felt the food rise up in my throat, I held it down the best I could. I wasn't about to throw up now.

"Hara?" I looked up, thinking it was Tamaki. I frowned, seeing it was two boys from my third hour class. I wanted to run away, but was stuck between people behind me and them in the front. "You look really good in a kimono." Oh...They are just complementing me. No harm there, I should be okay. However, I knew better than to think that. I had been betrayed to many times in my life to easily be fooled.

"Do you wanna go somewhere more private?" Taki whispered in my ear. He had rugged brown hair and was dressed in a plain green yukata. I backed up, bumping into his buddy. His name was Kinu and he was known for dating tons of women. With smooth black hair and devilish green eyes.

He smirked, "Who knew a nerd like you was actually cute." Men are disgusting. "Hey Boss, what do you think."

Their last friend walked up to me, looking down with disinterest. "Average," He smoothly spoke. He had striking white hair and calm grey eyes. He was wearing a black kimono with the imprint of a dragon. "I see no interest here, let's go." I was mesmerized by his hair. I have never seen white hair before. Was it dyed? Or perhaps a problem in his genetics. I've never seen him in person before, only heard of his name, Tomo. He never came to class and he was someone not to mess with. All the girls swooned over him, making him popular, despite never being around. They turned around to leave when a voice called out behind me.

"How dare you say that about Hara!" Oten ran in front of me, pointing at them. "She is the most interesting person on the planet! I would know. She is kind and an angel. Compared to a low life devil like you!" Some of the people passing by froze, to see what was going on with the yelling. He stopped in his tracks.

Taki snorted, "What did you say punk."

"Do we need to teach you a lesson?" Kinu growled.

Tomo raised his hand, silencing them. He walked up to Oten, he looked like a tower while she was a small cottage. She didn't back down as she glared up at him. He remained cool and collected. "She is nothing interesting." This was getting out of hand, I wanted to grab Oten. To make her back down and run with me. Why did she have to stick up for me?!

I grabbed her hand, "Please...Let's go." I begged. She ignored me.

"Hara is different. She doesn't have to be interesting in your eyes."

His gaze landed on me, "Different?" He leaned down to look me in the eyes, his cool grey glare made me nervous. Like he could easily read me, digging to find my secrets. "All I see is someone who is tired." I backed up, not wanting him to look at me anymore. "However," He smirked, "If she is so interesting, then perhaps I'll look into her."

"You will do nothing of the sort!" Oten puffed, "I will hurt you."

"No you won't!"

Taki barked, "Try it small fry!" How could Oten do this? She was small, much smaller than the boys in front of her. She could stand her ground, spit in their faces if she wanted too. Here I am, behind her like a defenseless princess. I was too scared to do anything. This was all my fault. I should do something, I can't let this continue.

"Please, stop-"

Kyoya's figured appeared in-between them, "This is a festival ground, not a fighting ring. Take your business elsewhere." He was dressed in a dark blue kimono, his glasses making him look intimidating in the night. Tomo simply looked at him then at me, with a wink, he turned around like not nothing happened.

"Let's go." He coolly said.

His followers glared at the Host before following him into the crowd. People are scary...How can they do something like this and act like it never happened. They think stuff like this doesn't affect others. Why did I decide to come here? Now, I'm in even more trouble. I should go home...Oh god, I'm gonna throw up. I covered my mouth. I should have stayed home...I'm stupid. Maybe Mother knew I wasn't capable of being outside in the world... I hate this...I felt someone touch my shoulder.

Oten smiled at me, her hand was my savior. "You okay?" I nodded, keeping the undigested food down. "I showed them right?! A bunch of punks they were." Something I admired was she was so brave. Oten was never scared...I wish I was more like her. I noticed Kyoya was still here, looking up at him carefully.

His eyes were dead set on me, "You're nothing but trouble." He said, walking away. Oten heard him, about to yell again but I grabbed her hand.

"It is alright," I said, "He is just joking." I wish he was. I barely knew him and that is how I want it to stay. I had no urge to make him my friend. Tamaki was good enough for me and Oten. She breathed for a minute then sighed.

"Alright." She crossed her arms, "Only cause you say so." Since Kyoya was near by then that means Tamaki should be too. There is so many people here, it's hard to find him. I was excited to meet him again. His smooth blonde hair and bright purple irises. He was so kind and whenever I was around him, I felt happy. Suddenly, the idea of following Kyoya popped into my head. If we were too follow him, we will find Tamaki.

I spoke up quickly, not wanting too lose him. "We will follow him." I didn't wait for her to answer as I rushed after him. Oten was right behind me, confused.

"What do you mean?!"

He was easily passing by the students, a couple of the girls stopping him to chat. I looked up and saw the snow was going to fall soon. I have to find him, I wanted to be with Tamaki when it was time. I never really wanted much in my life. That was who I was. However, tonight I wish to be selfish. I want to watch the snow fall with the man who held his hand out to me. I looked behind me to tell Oten something but she was gone. Did I lose her? My confidence was draining quickly. I didn't want to be alone... I grabbed my hair, pulling on it. I can do this. Stop being a baby and go for it. Oten simply got left behind, she will catch up. I saw Kyoya leaving again. I had to choose. Tamaki or wait for Oten. I shut my eyes, trying to keep my thoughts clear. Everything around me became quiet as I heard a single voice.

Tamaki's.

I didn't hesitate as I rushed towards his voice. After I've tasted the sweet taste of having someone next to me. I never wanted to be alone again. Hearing his voice was a light in the darkness. I pushed past people desperately, begging to see him. Then time froze. Again, around me was silence. He was with Haruhi, both of them smiling brightly. Tamaki looked like a god, dressed in a gold kimono was with a white tiger on the side. Haruhi was in a plain brown one.

"We better hurry up if we wish to see the snow fall." Haruhi said.

Tamaki looked up, "You're right." They both began walking away and I had no strength to follow. I was alone. There I stood, everyone passing. I didn't know what to do as my feet moved. Then decided it was time to leave. I didn't want to go home though, Mother surely knew I was gone. I knew this was going to happen. Who would wait for you? I fought back tears as I walked further away from the festival. Why did I come in the first place? I'm so stupid...

By the time I noticed where I was, around me was trees and I could see a pond not to far in front of me. Getting close to people hurts...I couldn't feel pain but the crushing feeling in my chest was unbearable. I bent over, my hand grabbing a near by tree. I vomited all over the snow covered ground. I didn't try to hold it back, seeing squid and other festive food lay before me. I cried. I should have stayed home. Look at me, alone and vomiting. Once I was done, I dragged my heavy feet to the pond. I decided to sit down in the snow, not caring the thick kimono was getting ice on it. Since I gave off no body heat, the snow didn't melt it just stuck to me.

The view was beautiful in front of me. The pond was dark, a thin layer of ice on it. I blinked, seeing the snow begin to fall. Alone again I see. The flakes landed in my hair and my lashed as I just stared in front of me. It was quiet, not a single sound to greet me. My tears froze against my pale cheeks. There was a slight breeze.

"Beautiful. " A voice on the wind past my ear. I didn't bother to turn around. For the rest of the night I sat there staring at the pond. Not once did I turn around to see if someone was there. All I know is that I never heard footsteps crunch the snow. I didn't want to go home. I didn't have too. I could stay here forever. Fade away into the pond. I can't freeze to death or starve. I thought about walking into the pond, my weight would crack the ice. However, I grew sleepy. The snow weighing down my eyes. I can stay here...No will care.

Eventually, I dosed off into the cold night.