In which Latios is the most sane character we've ever written.

"...and that's how an attempt at shoplifting turned into charges for resisting arrest, which turned into disturbing the peace, which ended with me getting off on a technicality and paying for the soda and my dad in jail." Brendan tried not to make it seem like he was proud of the direction it had taken, but his audience knew better.

"After a few courtroom shenanigans," Norman added, clearly ashamed. "I extended my job search to outside the region, to be on the safe side. And here we are now."

May's eyes moved between her friend and his father, her disbelief clear. "So Brendan's the reason you guys moved?"

"I didn't know that," Brendan complained. "Why didn't you tell me? Don't you know that I'd brag about forcing my family to move to a whole new region instead of complaining about it?"

"That isn't something I'd like the world to know," Norman told him. "A Gym Leader's reputation is important. Imagine what the world would say if they found out I couldn't keep my own son under control."

"I just got sick of being asked if I was going into professional battling myself, and I acted out a little. Once people heard what job you were after, they just asked me if I was going to 'continue the family business' and how good I'd look with Pokémon."

"I know that feeling," May agreed. "Ever since Cedric Juniper in Unova told the world exactly what it was that his daughter was going to do with her life, I got comments on how I've got my mom's good looks and my dad's brains. That wasn't bad, but when they started assuming that I'm going into research because I've always got a notebook and pencil on me..."

"That," said Professor Birch's voice from the door, "would be wonderful. But it wouldn't be right." He tossed her a red and white ball, and it brushed against her fingers before falling to the floor, releasing the reasonably angry Masquerain.

May didn't know how long her father had been standing there, but she didn't want Brendan to tell the story again. "You knew we were here?"

"I had to give you a proper goodbye, and your Masquerain needed to be returned. I couldn't help but overhear the end of that tale." Brendan looked proud of himself. Professor Birch did not. "May, do you want to come home with me? Your books are waiting."

"Sorry, Dad," May said, linking her arm with Brendan's. "Someone has to keep this lunatic out of trouble, and I'm the token good influence."

"It was an offer, not a request." The two dads made eye contact. "And, Norman, do you remember a child named Wally?"

"I lent him a Zigzagoon a while back," Norman said, trying to think. "I haven't heard from him since he returned it."

"I have. He apparently thinks I'll look after a few of his extra Pokémon for him." He gestured outside. "I have his father out there waiting to speak to you, and I think the boy himself might be coming for a battle."

"I'll be ready." Norman looked back at the kids. "Isn't Wally traveling with you?"

"We haven't seen him since Mauville," Brendan answered, "but we have something important to talk to him about. If he has a Pokenav, tell him to play around with it until he finds the phone setting. Then..."

He and May gave their contact numbers to their fathers and started off, on to continue their journey.

The dads stood there in silence, until their children were gone. "It's strange," Norman said after a moment. "You have kids, and then you wish they weren't around."

Birch knew exactly how to finish that sentence. "And then when they're gone, you wonder why they left so soon."

Norman chuckled. "They could have turned out worse, I suppose. At least Brendan's not getting into drugs or gang fights."

"All that can be hoped for," Birch agreed, not seeming to notice that his old friend took it the wrong way.

"Speaking of our children, haven't you noticed that your daughter has an unnatural ability to turn off what she perceives as reality? I saw her during the battle, she was making faces at nothing."

"She does that," Birch said, "and her mother and I had her tested just a few years ago. It just means she's writing something out in her head."

"You waited that long? I remember visiting when our children were five. She was singing along with a Barbie movie and changing the subject of the song from 'life as a princess' or whatever it was to 'life as a toilet.' I understand your wife has a strange musical habit, but you're ok with that?"

"She was five," Birch repeated. "Five-year-olds and toilet humor are inseparable. At least my daughter isn't a felon."

Had it been anyone else, Norman would have dropped contact at worst and hissed "That's not funny" at best. But, since it was Professor Birch, he let it slide. "Just wait. She'll get into trouble someday. They all do."

"And at least she'll have your boy to bail her out. The kid's loyal to the ones he trusts, and that's always a good thing."

Unaware of their fathers' conversation, Brendan and May continued on their way to the next Gym, which, at Lisia's suggestion, was in Fortree City, close to Lilycove City and its Contest Hall. From there, they planned to check out Laura and Lisia's designs for the Team Breakneck uniforms, maybe get the next Cool ribbon, and end up making their next decision there.

Of course, as they found themselves entering the nearly endless Mauville City for the third time, they were stuck on what to do next.

"We're supposed to cross water to get to Fortree," May said as she checked the map. "If we borrow a Pokémon from my dad, it should only take us an hour to make it to the Berry Farm."

"Berry Farm?" Brendan repeated, not sure he wanted to know. "Why are we going to the Berry Farm?"

"I thought they might give me Pokeblock tips," May answered, putting her Pokenav away and giving Brendan her biggest puppy eyes. "That, and they might give us shelter for the night. I heard it can get pretty rainy up by the Weather Institute, so I want to have a place to sleep."

Brendan wasn't going to stop her. "Pokeblocks are like Rare Candies for Contests, right?"

"I guess so."

"So you don't need to beg me, there's nothing wrong with wanting to do something with them. Lisia and Chaz won't take it easy on you, so you need any advantage you can get."

May gave him a dirty look. "It's nice to know you have so much faith in me, Brendan."

Brendan just faked innocence again. It was almost suspicious, the way he always went right to that. He must be stopping himself from making some kind of comment that he knew she wouldn't want to hear.

Deciding to end it there, May started back to the Pokémon Center, calling Brendan along. It did not escape his notice that she didn't make sure he could catch the door before it closed.

Maybe he was a bad influence. It wasn't like he cared.

When Brendan called the borrowed Wailmer back to his ball, he wasn't really expecting familiar faces. So, naturally, when a silver-haired man in a nice black suit jumped the ledge, Brendan stumbled back, letting out a squeak he would never admit to.

Luckily, May was distracted by Steven's presence again, and Steven would never break a preteen's fragile masculinity by mentioning it.

"We met back in Granite Cave, didn't we?" Steven asked, and May nodded weakly. "I thought you looked familiar. Brendan and May, right?"

May made a sound that could only be spelled as "squeep."

"Yeah," Brendan said, nudging her to bring her out of her infatuation-induced distraction. "And you're Steven Stone. Now that the reintroductions are out of the way, do you mind telling us what you're doing here instead of in a cave somewhere?"

"I had business in Fortree City," Steven explained. "And now I'm on my way home to get something from Devon."

"Taking the scenic route?" May questioned, surprisingly alert now. "Or just stopping random trainers?"

Steven was spared from answering that one by a Pokémon descending from the sky. It looked like a fusion between a bird and a plane, and Brendan was tempted to make a joke. But something in the Pokémon's eyes told him not to.

"Latios," Steven whispered, awed into near silence. "A legendary Pokémon."

"But what's he doing here?" May asked, and Latios jerked his head to an island in the distance.

Steven could guess from that. "You want to show us something?"

Latios let out a desperate cry and lifted all three humans into the air with his psychic powers, before zooming off and taking them with him.

"I'm taking this as a yes."

There was something off about this island, and Brendan knew he wasn't the only one to feel it. May and Steven both seemed anxious about the place.

Not that it stopped Steven. "Is this one of those islands?" he asked Latios. "Are you one of the Pokémon credited with giving Mega Evolution to humans?"

Latios made an angry sound, gesturing wildly to a point in the distance. He must have wanted them to investigate, but not want to be seen himself. That could only mean one thing.

"Take your pick, May," Brendan said, keeping his voice low so Steven couldn't hear. "Team Magma or Team Aqua? Winner gets the glory of beating whoever it is."

"I'll go with Aqua," May decided, her own voice a whisper. "We haven't seen much of them being evil lately. They have to prove they're not reformed somehow."

"But we've seen more of them," Brendan pointed out. "I'll accept Magma as an opponent."

Steven, not having heard the conversation, was slowly moving in the direction Latios pointed him in. Not wanting to be left behind, the children followed, and it didn't take long before they found what they were looking for.

"I guess we both lost this one," Brendan said, as the red and white Pokémon watched them carefully.

"I've always been bad at gambling," May replied, as Steven stepped past her.

"Latias," he said, in the same voice that he'd named her male counterpart in. "Is it you who sent Latios for us? What is it you wanted from us?"

Latias whimpered, focusing on a point between Brendan and May's heads. The three humans all turned, and the sight that greeted them made all of their confusion go away.

There was a girl dressed like a pirate, easily a Team Aqua grunt. The man beside her, while definitely not Archie, clearly outranked her. He was missing a shirt, and his pants were torn at the top like he was once wearing a wetsuit but shredded it by flexing his enormous muscles. There was an enormous, Team Aqua styled A on his chest, and it was hard for May to tell if it was a tattoo or a carefully arranged tan line.

It was also hard for Brendan to keep a straight face, despite knowing what the team stood for and wanted to do.

The big man seemed to recognize Steven, but not Brendan or May. The grunt, though, seemed very aware.

"Those kids were with Mr. Archie and me when we went to stop Team Magma at the volcano," she said, pointing them out unnecessarily. "They're always getting in our plans and Team Magma's!"

"Rogue agents," the man said shortly, comparing Brendan and May's head sizes to his biceps. Or at least that's what it looked like to them. "They're not to be trusted."

"And neither are you," Steven said, apparently not at all intimidated by the pirate who looked like he could snap all of them in half. "Your last encounter with Brendan and May was peaceful. What are you doing here with Latias?"

"Brendan and May, huh?" The man looked again at the kids. "Our last encounter with Brendan and May was when we were united against Team Magma. We had nothing against them, and used the meteorite incident as grounds to forgive them for keeping the Devon Goods out of our hands. If they stand aside now, we'll still be on reasonably friendly terms."

"Yeah, about that." Brendan gestured to May, who shook her fears aside to stand tall. "I've started my own team, and May is my second in command."

"The Shelly to your Archie, then?" the grunt questioned, and the man laughed.

"I'll bet you two don't have any underlings," he said, and Brendan looked ashamed. "Team Aqua? We get new recruits every week. Archie even recorded a message so he wouldn't have to greet everyone personally anymore. Do you even have anyone other than the two of you?"

"Yes," May said, crossing her arms in defiance. "Contest star Lisia has agreed to join us, AND she's got her personal costumer making our uniforms."

The grunt mirrored her pose, and with Archie's third-in-command standing behind her, it was much more intimidating. "Mr. Matt, we're here for the Latias," she reminded him, and Matt jumped back to reality.

"So, you thought you could distract us. Well, the joke's on you - this grunt is undistractable."

May's nose wrinkled at the wrong-sounding word, but Steven stepped forward to speak. "The Latias isn't going anywhere with you. You're outnumbered, and we're stronger than you are."

"Oh, we're outnumbered, handsome," the grunt agreed, "but Matt didn't get his position in Team Aqua just by being friends with Mr. Archie and Miss Shelly. Your team has a performer ranking third."

"Our team's new," Brendan complained.

"And your team has no way to research Mega Evolution." Matt could easily push past them and grab Latias, but decided not to. "Your ambitions are cute, kids, but you're messing with the big names in Hoenn now. Try again when you're older."

"My dad does better research in Mega Evolution than you guys," May snapped. "Heck, Brendan's dad does better research, and he's a Gym Leader!"

"A Gym Leader's kid, huh?" Matt grinned. "Are you going to have Daddy come and fight for you?"

"Daddy," Brendan hissed out the word, lacing it with as much sarcasm as he could manage, "is taking a challenger right now. But I've got his DNA, so I should be good enough for you."

"Brendan," May said, holding out a hand. "I won the bet, remember?"

Oh. Right. "This isn't over," he promised, fixing Matt with a look that could melt steel. "Agent Songbird, it's time for war."

"And I will fight beside her," Steven declared, and both he and Brendan pretended they didn't notice how happy the decision made her. "We will protect Latias together."

Matt glanced at the grunt, who nodded back and sent a Grimer into battle, which Steven countered with a Metang.

"Sharpedo!" Matt called. "Take them down!"

A Sharpedo, huh? Then her choice was already made. "Pikachu, take the stage!"

Electro Ball was a fun, useful move that worked in mysterious ways. One moment, Pikachu was getting Crunched by Matt's Sharpedo, and the next, she had launched a ball of lightning right down her opponent's throat.

Sharpedo was fine, of course, but it was exactly the kind of dirty trickery that made Brendan proud. It seemed to make Matt equally proud.

"That was a good move," he commented. "I love strong, opportunistic people. That's why I follow Archie. And that's why I'm going to keep an eye on you and your friend here." He held a large hand over his heart. "I give my word that I will not snap your spines and take the Latias and her Mega Stone."

"And you'll leave Latios alone, too, right?"

"Yeah, sure. But you won't have it so easy next time. I'll smash you good, girlie. I'm on to all your little tricks."

She was positive that he didn't think a tiny little Pikachu could pack a Meteor Mash or a Draining Kiss by simply swapping clothes. But once he and the grunt were out of earshot, Steven turned to face May, and the light of the setting sun illuminated his head like a halo.

Or maybe that was her imagination playing tricks on her. She wasn't sure.

"You were a real help," he said, almost too proud for words. "The Electro Ball right into the Sharpedo's mouth was something I've never seen."

"The Sharpedo was already attached to her tail," May said, trying for modesty and barely missing. She was happy with how it turned out, too. "We just made the best out of a bad situation."

"I should at least heal her for you," Steven said, and May reluctantly handed over Pikachu's ball.

As he was giving Pikachu a Hyper Potion and a few Leppa Berries, Latias came up to May and dropped a shiny stone on the ground in front of her. May bent down to pick it up, and held it carefully as she examined it.

It was a Mega Stone, of course. She'd never seen one of these, but she could guess that it was a Latiasite. Latisite? Did Latios and Latias share a Mega Stone? She'd seen that their Mega forms were identical in all ways but gender, so it wasn't entirely out of the question.

When Steven gave Pikachu back to her, fully healed, he also offered her a shiny bracelet with a brightly colored stone on it. "I think Latias wants to come with you on your journey," he said, and May jolted back to Latias in surprise. A legendary Pokémon? Choosing her?

"I don't know. I'd love it if she did, but..." May looked back at the stone in her hand.

"Do it," Brendan ordered. "We can't afford to not have her on our side. And if that bracelet can trigger Mega Evolution, and I'm pretty sure it can, we could use that to make Team Breakneck an official threat."

"Team Breakneck?" Steven repeated. "Why Breakneck?"

"Because Maxie has Team Magma and Archie has Team Aqua." Brendan shrugged. "I decided to make a sky-based parody team, and my name started with a B. It made sense at the time."

May grinned at Latias. "Are you sure you want to put up with this?"

Latias had to stop and think, but she eventually decided that it was better to join than to be left behind. Latios returned just in time to see her willingly jump into an empty ball.

May adjusted her bag and played with her new Key Stone. "Thank you, Steven. I might not ever get her to Mega Evolve, but it's nice to have the Key Stone anyway."

"Understandable. I just thought you and Brendan would like to match."

And he held out an identical gender-neutral bracelet to Brendan. The look of terror in May's eyes (she clearly remembered that he had both an Aron and an Aggronite) was more than worth it. Brendan, remembering both facts himself, eagerly took the Key Stone from Steven's hand. "Thanks, dude. Here I thought that accepting gifts from strangers was a bad idea."

"We're not strangers," Steven reminded him. "We met back in Granite Cave."

"Yeah, whatever." Brendan looked over at Latios. "What about you? Latias went with May, so that means you want to come with me, right?"

Latios wasted no time in flying off as fast as he could.

May put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Brendan. You'll get a legendary one day."

"Knowing my luck, it'll be a Manaphy."

"Don't ever say that about yourself." With no further comment, she released Latias. "Carry us to the Berry Farm," she ordered. "I told Dad to pass on the message that we were coming."

Brendan could think of better things to do with a legendary than travel to berry farms, but he kept his mouth shut. Latias wasn't his.

He could always cause region-wide terror when he got his own legendary.