Ay peeps! Guess who it is? -jazz hands-
I was wondering if I should edit the earliest chapters, 'cause the writing is super crappy cringe-y? Opinions? No? -cries in a corner- XD Kidding. I'd appreciate an opinion though.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, and beware the random "that time in life" rant from Lizzy.
I will currently spell out my worst nightmare for all of you assholes: Eating ravioli among random classmates I've never talked to before in my life, while they try to make (forced) friendly conversation.
We ate a group dinner that evening...with EVERYONE. I'm not joking. Everyone. My brother's entire class was there. My entire class was there! An entire class one grade behind was there! The seniors were there! The teachers/chaperones were all there. Antonio was there! And we had ravioli! My favorite food. This entire set-up could've been perfect!
But no. A certain (I wonder who...) someone suggest arranged seating. Legit, pansy place-card seating at a fucking school supper party. And there I was, sandwiched between the shadiest computer geek ever and Lukas Bondevik, who really hates me. Across from me sat freaking Ludwig Beilschmidt. My friends were all the way at the other end of the table.
"Well...The pasta's nice." I commented...To no one. Damn, this was awkward. Honestly, even if Tino or Feli were sitting next to me instead, it would've been so much better. I am shit without any kind of back up support. Now add my shitty social defects that make up my life to geeky, snobby, and fucking stone terrifying and you get this:
Ed tries. He really does. (It's not his fault I sort of hate him after he destroyed me on the ninth grade geography bee...Oh wait, it is.) His brothers are actually really nice. I think he's friends with Tino? (It's impossible to tell who's a friend of Tino and who's Tino's punching bag.) Unfortunately for him, he's the shadiest person I've ever laid eyes on. He just sits in the gym and types stuff on his laptop while shiftily staring at everyone. WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING?! I feel like I'm being stalked or something.
Also, he's super boring. I have no interest in motherboards, whatever those are. We cut off that convo right quick.
Lukas hates me. He doesn't even try to like me. He doesn't try to like anyone! Acts ten times older than everyone else, which unfortunately doesn't stop him from acting like a selfish prick. (Hey, I know some selfish prick adult! I'm not ageist or anything.) The only person who can fucking stand him is his boyfriend Matthias, who must see something in him? I certainly don't and it's mutual. I don't think I've ever spoken to him even, so I can't blame my blatant vocabulary on him hating me. Even freaking Emil is less glare-y than he is! What, is there something about my fucking face that Lukas doesn't like!? If so, maybe we could build a friendship over talking about how much my face sucks. That sounds great. Yeah, sounds like a super fucking healthy relationship.
Bielschmidt is a carbon copy of his dad and just as scary. I don't know what his fucking problem is. He just sits there with a glare on his face while somehow getting straight A's in everything. I can't name a single thing he can't ace...Oh. Yeah. Social skills. I never see him with people, male or female. (His obsessive older brother doesn't count.) That face isn't attracting mates or anything. (Hey! Maybe I can get a girlfriend/boyfriend before he does!)
Guess I shouldn't try to get along with people either.
Fortunately, Lizzy dragged me off to play Truth or Dare in the Kirkland's room soon after.
The Kirkland's had come prepared: Games, popcorn, every single movie you could possibly think of...Yep. They'd brought it all. Also, since all four ** almost adult males had to survive for a weekend, they had a shit ton of space. (Also, Tino crashes at their room a lot. That guy takes up plenty of space with his damn mental issues.)
So there we were, at least fifteen kids, ranging from grades 9-12, crashed in the Kirkland clan room with no official adult supervision whatsoever. (Nikola is technically an adult, but he's still a student, so he doesn't fucking count.) Casey, Alistair, or Dylan were nowhere to be seen and Arthur had...drifted off to do his occult stuff with Lukas in the hotel basement. (Holy God, protect us.) Basically, no one who was actually supposed to be in this room was actually here.
And these were the worst people to possibly have in a room with no supervision. Fangirl! Lizzy, Fangirl! Kiku, Crazy-ass! Tino, Dimitri, me, and some other people. We were doing normal teenage things, playing cards, watching movies, playing truth or dare, etc...But normal teenage things are usually not PG rated. Already, Lizzy and Kiky were watching tentacle porn in a corner while the rest of us learned the explicit details of the Jones parent's...fucking, to be blunt. And that was pretty tame for our town. Probs to Nikola for not ratting us out.
Actually, he's probably just so clueless he doesn't know what's going on.
At one point after 9 P.M. , Nikola got up and headed towards the door. "Hey, I'm a little tired. I think I'm going to head back to the room, now."
"Do you need me to come with?" Dimitri asked. He actually looked concerned. (THIS IS WHAT GODDAMNED LOVE DID TO MY DOESN'TGIVEASHIT COUSIN. Seriously, all of his previous relations were either flings or really fucking creepy.) "I can if you need me to."
"No that's okay. Thank you, though." Then he turned to the rest of us. "It was fun to keep your company. Have fun, you guys!" Then he stumbled out.
"I'll see you in the morning!" Dimitri called after him.
Everyone stared at him, then at the door, then back at him, the realization of our new situation dawning on them. We had no adult supervision. None. Zilch. Goddammit.
"You totally have a crush on him, Angel boy!" Lizzy accused loudly. Dammit, we're going to get in trouble for yelling in the middle of the night. "You have a blatant, fucking possessive crush on him!" By the look of Lizzy's face, she really hated him. (She only uses that glare for her top ten hate list.) She and Dimitri must have some sort of history together, 'cause I don't think it's possible to want to murder someone after one night of sitting next to each other at dinner.
"Héderváry," Dimitri muttered. "I'm going to kill you."
Guess the feeling's mutual.
Lizzy jumped up from her seat on the floor. "YOU AREN'T EVEN TRYING TO DENY IT! YOU LOVE HIM! YOU LOVE HIM! "
"Lizzy, shut the fuck up." Tino groused from the couch. "The guy doesn't have to tell our 'resident love-guru' everything. Just because you display your damned love life on a pedestal doesn't mean he can't have secrets.
"Oh Tino, there's gotta be someone you love in this life."
Kiku made a choking noise from his place in the corner and Tino shot him a biting look. The message was clear: Shut the fuck up if you know what's good for you. Kiku nodded, then shot a look at me. Tino wasn't telling us everything. The movie, I don't even know what it was, had stopped at this point. All ears were tuned to the argument unfolding before our eyes.
Lizzy apparently didn't notice and continued on with her love monologue. "At some point in life, you'll see someone you're really into. Like they'll have sexy eyes or a gorgeous body...Or maybe even a good personality with all the charm. It's inevitable. And you're all horny! I know you want some! I have never met a horny teenager who didn't love someone, and I assure you all of you are on a sex drive where you just want to bang like rabbits."
"We don't want to bang like rabbits!" Tino and Dimitri said at roughly the same time.
"Hey! Loosen up!" She giggled, flipping her ponytail over her shoulder. "You're allowed to be a creepy S.O.B. when it comes to crushes sometimes. Love isn't a crime! " ***
"...Actually, it kind of is..." Tino put in.
Lizzy ignored him. "What I'm trying to say is that you'll be young for only a few more years. Go find yourself a fuck buddy so you can get over your teenaged obsessive horniness." Then she sat down.
The room fell silent, probably because we realized there was a hint of truth in her ridiculous, ridiculous ideas. Only the sound of the door slamming as Dimitri left was audible.
"LIZZY-CHAN!" Kiku shrieked. He watches more porn than any of my friends put together, but can't deal with the sex talk 2.0. Lizzy just giggled and handed him volume 18 of Fruits Basket. ****
"Lizzy, I swear to God...!" Tino began.
"You swear what? What are you going to do, Tino? Kill me? Tell on me? Come at me with a machete like the rest of your family? You can't use love against me, Tino. I can't say the same the other way around, though."
Another door slam. Honestly, I was glad Tino left. I don't know why Lizzy thought provoking him was a good idea. He could've murdered us in cold blood. He could've locked us in his basement torture chamber or something...Not that I think he has one, but...Yeah he probably does.
Of course, when are her intentions ever pure? That's why we're friends.
It's stupid, but her rant had made me think. Was this obsession with Antonio purely teenaged horniness, or did I actually want to be with him for the rest of my life. God forbid, I'm too young to decide that. Had I actually thought about going down on him? Did I want to? No. No. That was a ridiculous concept.
But maybe it was something else. Insecurity. A need to fill the hole aching in my chest. The fact that I knew I was a pathetic little shit and I wanted, needed more attention. Maybe I thought I'd feel like a person of worth with a hot boyfriend? Goddammit...I know how dumb that sounds, but it's oh so true. This is what I had in common with my lame cousin, the fact we didn't feel good enough for our respective crushes.
And if my day could get any fucking worse, Feli barges into the room with the fucking German at his arm.
* I just felt like writing about Estonia. Sue me. I like him. Also, the ESC entries I remember of his are super shady...Plus all the fanart...Yeah. He's super shady.
** That's Ireland (Casey), Scotland(Alistair), Wales(Dylan), and England(Arthur, duh). They're my OCs. (Scotland and UK not so much.) They showed up vaguely in Passed Away. (Which you shouldn't read until I get the inspiration to update it.) Sealand and Northern Ireland are currently not in the picture...'cause reasons.
***I had to reference ESC Bulgaria's "If Love Was a Crime", even though it's still 2013 here. I've had this song on repeat since it came out. I'm so sorry.
**** 2013 was when I started my anime trend, starting with Fruits Basket. It's good. :3 Still love it.
Whelp, that went a little over my normal rating XD Sorry. See you in the next chapter. XD